@Gizmo1231 Agreed. I can understand it... to an extent. This is my last baby and E and Z are both boys. I *love* my boys and would be thrilled to have another. But if #3 is a girl, there will be a part of me that is sad that I will never have a daughter.
BUT I'm usually hesitant to say this because some people go WAY too far with their disappointment and I can't understand that given my history. E's mother cried, literally CRIED, in the delivery room when she pushed her last child out and it was another boy. I get that you're done and you would've liked a girl, but your child is here and it's healthy... and you're sobbing over his penis? E was disgusted with her. He was SO excited to have another brother.
Someone else I knew wanted a little girl so bad that when she found out she was having a boy, she posted her ultrasound picture to FB with the caption "He wasn't what we wanted, but we love him anyway." What....?
@chopchop25 There was the first 2 initial groups that stemmed from the bump, those were the regulars more diverse larger group of involved ladies and the regulars that were more of the snarky outspoken ones that were a smaller group. I left the diverse group I couldn't keep up with and the other group kind naturally broke off in its own "sides" after some drama. I am hoping we only have one move from here and its relaxed enough this doesn't happen.
For people who have been on BMBs before- when do people typically move to FB? Is it like month 5 or 9 or what? I feel like I 'know' quite of a few of the regulars here already, but it still feels too early for FB, if that makes sense
Drama seems to be common once forums switch to FB. And FB drama gets personal too. I'm happy to stay here if anyone else wants to stay with me lol
Ladybug - April 2013 Dandelion - October 2018 Angel "Aurora" - July 2020 Angel "Sawyer" - May 2021 Angel "Maxine" - January 2022 Angel "Violet" - March 2022 Baby Dove due March 2023
@kiwi2628 in both my previous BMBs a group of Mamas moved over early... but the main group didn't move over until after babies arrived and then we had a "process" on who was able to move to the group in order to try to weed out some randos
@ninji15 I'll try to explain. There are definitely good things that come of out it like raising money for a good cause or staying connected to family but over all I feel like it has contributed to making our society extremely self centered, competitive, impersonal, and obsessive. Some of these feeling definitely extend beyond FB and to technology in general but I digress. The rate at which friends and families check their FB is mind blowing. I never realized how often I was looking at mine until I got rid of it. Also, I think some people use FB as a way to stay connected instead of personal connections like phone conversations or meeting in person. It has people posting things that paint a picture of their life that aren't reality and causes competitiveness and unrealistic expectations of what happiness looks like. Especially in teens who may not have a full understanding.
@Lisa3379 I’m with you on all the random drive by threads. People are dumb. Whatever. Ignoring and moving on. Definitely not seeking out dramatic threads on other boards for fun.
@kiwi2628 We were all due in October and we switched in either August or September, I can't remember. I created the group (since everyone wanted one but no one else had access to a computer) and two other women volunteered to be admins with me. BMB members could send any of the 3 of us a PM if they wanted to join. We also had a process of who we actually added to the group. We have about 70 members in our FB group and we're still very active over there.
@KFrob That totally makes sense. I really wish I checked my FB and all my other apps a whole hell of a lot less, and I agree in the respect that social media should really not be a place for teens. Cyber bulling, drama, unrealistic expectations. I don't want my kids to have one for a very very long time if I can help it. I get sucked into my computer and everything else for work and I feel like I lose actual time with my family. I feel like if you weed out people with fake personas and you just stay in touch with those you care about its a great thing but its a very very slippery slope. I also use mine for networking with my career so I don't know that I could just ditch. (Linkedin is useful for that as well though.)
I am also not opposed to staying here per say but I would love it if we moved somewhere someday that was not thebump. Maybe something that doesn't involve our personal lives but we can stay connected and its easier to use. No clue if its a thing. I do know I plan to not not check back into the bump or whatever again if I can help it. My issue before was its hard to juggle both, and a new baby, and at the time a new job, but now its more I want to stay in touch with everyone I can if possible.
@kiwi2628 we moved around 3rd tri for others as well. Basically right before shit started getting real and pre-term babies were being born. Then the second more diverse group moved a little after.
I would be lying if I said I don’t actually have a tiny hope one direction or another. But, kind of like with not giving out baby names, I’m also not telling anyone what that is.
This is also part of the dinosaur thing- when people try to pin me down, I can change the conversation. If they keep trying to pin me down, I’ll be more than happy to tell them they are being rude.
Once Blast is in my arms, I seriously don’t think it will matter to me what the baby’s sex is. Because Blast will be mine.
@ninji15 our July 16 bmb is dead because we moved to secret group (or whatever it's called) on here. It's definitely not super active like this, but still active.
@ninji15 our July 16 bmb is dead because we moved to secret group (or whatever it's called) on here. It's definitely not super active like this, but still active.
That makes so much sense! I was wondering. Less randos I am sure.
OMG Poutine is the best! If you like gravy and fries add cheese to the mix and it is glorious! There is restaurants dedicated to poutine here. You can get very unique varieties like loaded poutine (with sour cream, bacon and chives on top), Pulled pork with Kimchi, bacon and a fried egg, etc
Me 33 DH 41 TTC since 2016 Due: October 12, 2018 Location: Ontario, Canada
I luck out being in Detroit, so we get some of the Canadian goodies.
I wanted a boy, because I love being a boy mom. However, when we found out we're having a boy there was that small moment of "this is it." We don't plan on having another, so realizing that I won't have a girl was a small moment of sadness.
@kiwi443 O13 migrated over to FB sometime after our babies were born, shortly before our board was closed, I believe. We ended up in 2 or 3 groups. There was lots of drama the entire time, but FB made it a little easier to be cliquish, because of the ability to form friendships and group messages that excluded others, which meant more inside jokes, sometimes at the expense of other members.
There's a reason I'm mostly lurking this time around. Staying out of the drama, but it is nice to share in this experience with everyone else.
I genuinely don't care what the sex of this babe is, but one of the reasons I'm happy we're team green is because I have an intense feeling this baby is a boy and I'll know I'll have some strong emotions if I was to find out I was wrong. It isn't a disappointment thing because I'll be happy either way. But with DD I was incorrectly told she was a boy then a month later at a follow up scan it turned out she was a girl. Before the first scan I just knew in my gut she was a girl but I was over the moon either way. I wasn't upset at all to find out she was a girl, but I definitely had to adjust. I know that if I find out the sex of the baby when they're in my arms, I won't need that adjustment. I'll just be happy. I hope any of that made sense.
Ladybug - April 2013 Dandelion - October 2018 Angel "Aurora" - July 2020 Angel "Sawyer" - May 2021 Angel "Maxine" - January 2022 Angel "Violet" - March 2022 Baby Dove due March 2023
My BMG moved pretty early, I want to say like 20 weeks? I don't think there were a ton, but most people left or if they were inactive were removed. Then there was the great exodus during the election and now we have a little group of 19. Not sure if the other ladies made a group or not.
Holy moly I just power read through like 68 posts to catch up!! A) I love poutine!! B ) totally agree on the asking advice and not listening to it thing, why bother even asking?? C) though the app isn't my favorite I'd be down to keep up here for a while.. I'd love to join a fb group with the rest of the regular posters to keep up with everyone after baby and keep the relationships I feel were growing but also fear fb could cause splits like other posters with experience mentioned. Thankfully I think this board is filled with really awesome women who are genuine and seem to actually be concerned about others so I think when the move to fb is finally made and a lot of people are weeded out it'll be a strong core of us that aren't looking for drama. D) i like baby showers... Lol and I'm pretty excited for mine and to go to others so maybe that's my UO..? I love all of that stuff and gifts and setting up and party games and snacks lol sign me up, I'll go to all of your showers for you and send you your gifts when the showers over!!
I moved to FB with N15 after baby was born, but I think others moved earlier.
I have no clue what poutine is.
On the topic of “gender disappointment”. When I was pregnant with DS I had an imagine in my head of me as a girl Mom (i only have sisters). So when I found out a i was having a boy, I was not disappointed, but I wasn’t sure how to feel. After a few weeks I started to get excited though. So I guess I get being surprised when you think something will be one way, but not disappointed.
My UO is that I love baby shoes! I know they serve zero purpose, but I think they’re so cute!
Poutine is literally a food group for me. It's beyond delicious. I like to blame baby for how much poutine I've been eating...but realistically it's no different than when I'm not pregnant
So a little preface to this story. My grandparents had 2 girls (my mom and my aunt). Mom had me at 17, so I was basically a 3rd girl for my grandparents. (My papa was my father figure). My aunt told me that when she had her boy (I was 4 and my aunt 19) my grandpa was so thrown. He didn't know what to do with a boy! He of course loved all of his grandkids, but he was so used to raising girls he didn't know how to raise a boy. My aunt just told me this story right before we found out I was having a boy.
@halfanewt The joys of Canadian Costco! Although I’m not sure if it’s across Canada but definitely in BC all our Costco’s have it! And it’s apparently quite good - DH loves it. I don’t like gravy so I’m a shunned Canadian by not liking it, lol!
On the gender disappointment topic...that is largely why we are team green this time. I have one of each sex already so it really doesn’t matter to us, we just want a healthy baby, and there are reasons for wanting both at this point. But my DS has been so much more difficult than DD that I worry if I found it we were having another boy at 20 weeks I’d spend the second half of my pregnancy worrying about whether we were going to have another ‘spirited’ child (and I’m totally aware my logic makes no sense since girls can be a handful too and we just lucked out with our very calm DD!) whereas once baby is in my arms I know it won’t matter at all either way and we’ll be thrilled with whichever sex comes out!
@Sailing_Mama I will concede that I love the ‘fancy’ versions - every time we go downtown Vancouver we hit up Smoke’s Poutinerie but the original version....gag.
Re: UO Thursday 4/19
@Gizmo1231 Agreed. I can understand it... to an extent. This is my last baby and E and Z are both boys. I *love* my boys and would be thrilled to have another. But if #3 is a girl, there will be a part of me that is sad that I will never have a daughter.
BUT I'm usually hesitant to say this because some people go WAY too far with their disappointment and I can't understand that given my history. E's mother cried, literally CRIED, in the delivery room when she pushed her last child out and it was another boy. I get that you're done and you would've liked a girl, but your child is here and it's healthy... and you're sobbing over his penis? E was disgusted with her. He was SO excited to have another brother.
Someone else I knew wanted a little girl so bad that when she found out she was having a boy, she posted her ultrasound picture to FB with the caption "He wasn't what we wanted, but we love him anyway." What....?
Dandelion - October 2018
Angel "Aurora" - July 2020
Angel "Sawyer" - May 2021
Angel "Maxine" - January 2022
Angel "Violet" - March 2022
Baby Dove due March 2023
I am also not opposed to staying here per say but I would love it if we moved somewhere someday that was not thebump. Maybe something that doesn't involve our personal lives but we can stay connected and its easier to use. No clue if its a thing. I do know I plan to not not check back into the bump or whatever again if I can help it. My issue before was its hard to juggle both, and a new baby, and at the time a new job, but now its more I want to stay in touch with everyone I can if possible.
@kiwi2628 we moved around 3rd tri for others as well. Basically right before shit started getting real and pre-term babies were being born. Then the second more diverse group moved a little after.
Very well said.
I would be lying if I said I don’t actually have a tiny hope one direction or another. But, kind of like with not giving out baby names, I’m also not telling anyone what that is.
This is also part of the dinosaur thing- when people try to pin me down, I can change the conversation. If they keep trying to pin me down, I’ll be more than happy to tell them they are being rude.
Once Blast is in my arms, I seriously don’t think it will matter to me what the baby’s sex is. Because Blast will be mine.
But we all know baby is going to be a T-Rex...
ETA - like chopchop25, I am a one and done.
My favorite kind lately has been pulled BBQ pork and fried egg poutine. Ermagherd.
Having Googled it... Where in St. Louis can I find this creation? Seriously. I have to try this. It has French Fries!
TTC since 2016
Due: October 12, 2018
Location: Ontario, Canada
I wanted a boy, because I love being a boy mom. However, when we found out we're having a boy there was that small moment of "this is it." We don't plan on having another, so realizing that I won't have a girl was a small moment of sadness.
There's a reason I'm mostly lurking this time around. Staying out of the drama, but it is nice to share in this experience with everyone else.
I hope any of that made sense.
Dandelion - October 2018
Angel "Aurora" - July 2020
Angel "Sawyer" - May 2021
Angel "Maxine" - January 2022
Angel "Violet" - March 2022
Baby Dove due March 2023
B ) totally agree on the asking advice and not listening to it thing, why bother even asking??
C) though the app isn't my favorite I'd be down to keep up here for a while.. I'd love to join a fb group with the rest of the regular posters to keep up with everyone after baby and keep the relationships I feel were growing but also fear fb could cause splits like other posters with experience mentioned. Thankfully I think this board is filled with really awesome women who are genuine and seem to actually be concerned about others so I think when the move to fb is finally made and a lot of people are weeded out it'll be a strong core of us that aren't looking for drama.
D) i like baby showers... Lol and I'm pretty excited for mine and to go to others so maybe that's my UO..? I love all of that stuff and gifts and setting up and party games and snacks lol sign me up, I'll go to all of your showers for you and send you your gifts when the showers over!!
I have no clue what poutine is.
On the topic of “gender disappointment”. When I was pregnant with DS I had an imagine in my head of me as a girl Mom (i only have sisters). So when I found out a i was having a boy, I was not disappointed, but I wasn’t sure how to feel. After a few weeks I started to get excited though. So I guess I get being surprised when you think something will be one way, but not disappointed.
My UO is that I love baby shoes! I know they serve zero purpose, but I think they’re so cute!
On the gender disappointment topic...that is largely why we are team green this time. I have one of each sex already so it really doesn’t matter to us, we just want a healthy baby, and there are reasons for wanting both at this point. But my DS has been so much more difficult than DD that I worry if I found it we were having another boy at 20 weeks I’d spend the second half of my pregnancy worrying about whether we were going to have another ‘spirited’ child (and I’m totally aware my logic makes no sense since girls can be a handful too and we just lucked out with our very calm DD!) whereas once baby is in my arms I know it won’t matter at all either way and we’ll be thrilled with whichever sex comes out!
As for you, @elothair, I just don't know what to say... hahaha