March 2018 Moms

Help

My baby is 5 weeks old and my husband works all day. Leaves at 4 am gets back at 9 pm 6 days a week, his one day "off" he still works at least 6 hours. He works a lot and doesn't get up at all at night which I understand because he works and I'm not so he should be well rested. However I ask him to try and come home from work earlier sometimes so I can get a nap and he just won't. He works for himself so he can come home whenever. I only get a few hours of sleep a night, maybe three, and I'm exhausted and on the verge of a breakdown. No matter how much I talk to him he doesn't understand or doesn't care that I am not ok. Idk what to say to get through to him. 

Re: Help

  • Do you have other kids? Can you sleep during the day during naps? Is there anyone else around that can help you? 
    It sounds like he’s not going to listen but try again talking to him. I had to threaten a divorce and to move 10 hours back to my parents if he couldn’t start helping with our first baby.(although he was gaming and your husband is at work at least) with the first they don’t get it as much). I cried and explained how exhausted I was and he told me to go to bed right then and he would take care of him. I don’t know if that helps but I honestly don’t know what will.
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    nancysimp
  • mmom3mmom3 member
    I have a husband who also works a lot as well.  He leaves at 3 A.M. and doesn’t get home until 8-10 pm M-F.  He used to also work a weekend day but I’ve asked for years to cut back I need help and some relief.  We’ve had our fair share of disagreements about helping out on the weekends more over the course of our relationship/marriage.  It’s kind of at the point I just ask him now - “I’m doing XYZ, can you please do A to help me.”  Usually he will and it’s makes things easier.  I also am making a point to talk about what needs to be accomplished ahead of a weekend to prepare him it’s not lounge around all day and nap while I run around like a crazy lady.  During the week I will handle all the household chores/childcare because he’s only home about 6 hours total to eat/sleep.  His role is a provider for our family and mine is to care for our family and Home but when we are both here he has to carry some of that load.  It’s taken years and we are still working on it, but I’ve found to do lists, not bitching, nagging, or just doing it myself wasn’t working for us.  Communicating what needs to be done ahead of time and asking him is working better for us.  I have 3 kids so napping isn’t an option but making sure I’m going to bed when the baby does is crucial.  Do you have any family or friends that could help even for a few hours while you nap?  another option might be hiring a mother’s helper (teenager) to sit for a few hours with the baby so you could nap.  Also, babywearing during the day allows for me to free my hands while still keeping the baby with me so I can get a few things done.  
    nancysimp
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