I had a really rough night. I had some depression and that doesn't really mix well with my hormones right now. I thought it was because of the pregnancy but after talking with DH most of the night about it... it is definitely school related. I have one final next week and three mid terms. I had all A's last semester and well, let just say this semester isn't going as great because I'm exhausted a lot. Just thankful that my most stressful class ends next Friday and that's the only positive thing to look forward to.
My boss retires today and she had a party last night. I'm going to miss her so much, she was such an awesome boss. She has also had a really rough year and lost her husband to cancer over Christmas and she just thanked everyone for supporting her and helping her and I had to hold in the tears so hard. I also had to just do a quick goodbye hug at the end of the night because I would have started sobbing otherwise.
I’m sorry you’re under all that pressure @smsaulino. The stress will eventually end. I can’t imagine doing school pregnant! I hope you take it easy on yourself and cut yourself some slack!
I cried because it snowed so much last night and DH had to get up early to snow blow.
Because I got woken up 4 times last night...and I work tonight.
_______________________________________________
Me: 33 DH: 32 Married 7/18/15 1st born at 35+4 on 6/6/16 Team green turned BLUE! 2nd born at 38+6 on 8/30/18 Team green turned PINK! Due with #3 on 6/6/20 Team Green
We got our Harmony results back and are low risk for everything tested. *TW* After two late first tri MMCs and a CP I'm so damn happy that this one may finally be our THB and I'm crying. *End TW*
Me: 34 | DH: 33 Married Aug. 2013 TTC #1 Sep. 2016 ***TW***
BFP Jan. 15, 2017; MMC Mar. 4, 2017 at 10w6d BFP Jun. 5, 2017; MMC Aug. 2, 2017 at 11w6d BFP Nov. 20, 2017; ended in CP All the tests. Everything normal except treated for ureaplasma and DH potentially has high DNAF. BFP Dec. 25, 2017; EDD Sep. 5, 2018; DD arrived Aug. 26th My chart: https://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/63f71d
@starla So freaking excited for those test results!!
@pourmeamocktail I feel ya on the exhaustion. I didn't fall asleep until 3am. And my dogs are use to me getting up at 7am so that's what time they came and got me. I have to somehow conduct three interviews today and then nanny for a bit. We just need to get through the day then it's the weekend!
Currently want to cry for several reasons: 1. I have not slept past 3 am all this week due to needing to pee, DS crying out in his sleep, H snoring, or my dogs being loud. 2. I've essentially been awake since 315 this morning. 3. Daycare is closed today since the providers daughter has tested positive for the flu. This sucks because I'm now forced to use PTO to stay home with my son, and now we're all at higher risk of getting the flu too. 4. We got 5 inches of snow overnight and are forecasted to get up to 12 and it's heavy with ice underneath. I have a couple branches that are hanging on my fence that are worrying me a bit.
I almost started crying at dinner at the restaurant last night. My parents have been here visiting all week. We were always very close, and when I moved across the country it was the first time we weren’t all together on a weekly basis. But I’m having a lot of trouble dealing with their personality changes due to aging, especially my dad. Today is my mom’s birthday, I took off work and planned all this fun stuff that she will love, and I’m already anticipating my dad complaining and snapping at us all day. Wish me luck!
@ashh2018 Thank you! GL with your dad. My dad is difficult, too, and it's getting worse with age so I can totally relate.
Me: 34 | DH: 33 Married Aug. 2013 TTC #1 Sep. 2016 ***TW***
BFP Jan. 15, 2017; MMC Mar. 4, 2017 at 10w6d BFP Jun. 5, 2017; MMC Aug. 2, 2017 at 11w6d BFP Nov. 20, 2017; ended in CP All the tests. Everything normal except treated for ureaplasma and DH potentially has high DNAF. BFP Dec. 25, 2017; EDD Sep. 5, 2018; DD arrived Aug. 26th My chart: https://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/63f71d
Some people cut in front of me in the lunch line today... and got to all the fries before I could get any. Ugh. I literally started bawling right there during lunch in the hospital cafeteria. I had been day dreaming of french fries and strawberries since I was eating breakfast. I couldn't wait until the batch went out because I had to catch the next rail.
@starla's update above...that is why I'm crying. Your story just touched me and I am so excited for you and your H! We have so many warriors on this board and it's an honor to share a BMB with you!
Awww @Patience7150 That's so sweet! Thank you! Now I'm crying again!!! LOL
Me: 34 | DH: 33 Married Aug. 2013 TTC #1 Sep. 2016 ***TW***
BFP Jan. 15, 2017; MMC Mar. 4, 2017 at 10w6d BFP Jun. 5, 2017; MMC Aug. 2, 2017 at 11w6d BFP Nov. 20, 2017; ended in CP All the tests. Everything normal except treated for ureaplasma and DH potentially has high DNAF. BFP Dec. 25, 2017; EDD Sep. 5, 2018; DD arrived Aug. 26th My chart: https://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/63f71d
Message from hubby: "hey, I'll be close to home next week so I think I can fly in tomorrow night and be home for like a day." Me: racing thoughts of all the things/excitement Next message from hubby: "nevermind."
Since it's already last minute how about you find out if you can actually come BEFORE telling your pregnant wife who hasn't seen you for 2 months and won't see you for another 2 months that you'll be home. Just a suggestion. Way to fuck with my emotions. It's not like I was already feeling totally crappy or anything.
Me: 34 | DH: 33 Married Aug. 2013 TTC #1 Sep. 2016 ***TW***
BFP Jan. 15, 2017; MMC Mar. 4, 2017 at 10w6d BFP Jun. 5, 2017; MMC Aug. 2, 2017 at 11w6d BFP Nov. 20, 2017; ended in CP All the tests. Everything normal except treated for ureaplasma and DH potentially has high DNAF. BFP Dec. 25, 2017; EDD Sep. 5, 2018; DD arrived Aug. 26th My chart: https://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/63f71d
I read the first draft of a piece my husband is presenting next week at some hipster music writing event, and it was about me, and so filled with love that I was sobbing by the end.
Also, so to not be totally insufferable I went H.A.M. on a chicken that wasn't defrosting fast enough. I just wanted to make stock, and before I could just throw the bird into the pot of water I needed to pull out the plastic bag full of gizzards. I got so frustrated at how long it was taking that I grabbed the half frozen bird, and while screaming and crying tore that thing apart with my bare hands in a fit of rage.
There was no plastic bag of gizzards in this brand of bird. The stock is really really good.
Oh @stothi that was stupid of him to do to you! I’m sorry. Sending internet hugs your way!
I thought it was a massive shitty stupid thing to do. I wanted to yell at him so badly but I don't like starting fights when he's away from home and all we have is words, you know? But at the same time, I'm so mad. I'm already frustrated that he'll be so close to home but still not close enough to matter and to have him just toss out there randomly, that hey, he'd just drop by the house tomorrow and then immediately turn around and say nope, nevermind, really puts the icing on the freaking suck cake. I am so bitter about how this project has been going with him basically living the frat boy life (yes, he's working but he has nights and weekends and holidays to himself to just hang with the other work guys) while I'm single momming it and now single momming it while pregnant. Everytime I'm having a shit day cause I'm sick and our toddler didn't sleep and I'm trying so hard to take care of myself and the kid and I'm literally just a walking pukey zombie and I ask what he's doing and he says, "well I slept in, went to brunch, took a nap, ordered a pizza, watched a movie and now I'm getting ready to go out with guy and guy for guy's birthday so I'll be out late drinking and need to sleep in again tomorrow," I just want to scream and break shit. I literally actually for realz don't remember the last time I slept through the night. I do remember the last time I went out to dinner or anywhere with a friend sans child, it was once in November. So yeah, it's been a while. Sorry for going full novel length rant but I'm so tired and so sick and so worn out that I struggle on a good day and his stupid drive by "I'm coming home/no I'm not," really fucked with me today and I'm so mad and sad about it.
@stothi That sounds so hard. I’m sorry you’re needing to deal with all of that! Any way a family member or friend can watch your LO for a day while you go out and get pampered?
@stothi That sounds so hard. I’m sorry you’re needing to deal with all of that! Any way a family member or friend can watch your LO for a day while you go out and get pampered?
@SkilledSailor my mom is coming over an extra time this weekend so I can get a little more sleep which is definitely my idea of pampered right now. Honestly I think the exhaustion is the worst part. Like if I could get enough sleep, I'd be able to handle everything else better. Being so tired it hurts 6.5 days out of 7 is so mentally and physically draining.
@yosemite2018 I haven't actually done the math to figure out how far he is. He moves around. Next week he'll be like a 6 hour drive or a 1-2 hour flight. But he's working the whole time with meetings/company dinners in the evenings so it's pointless to try to get together. Or not pointless but for me it's honestly too much time and money and hassel to maybe be able to see him for dinner one time. And who knows if I'll be pukey or ok? Definitely don't want to spend all that money and ask for favors for someone to watch my toddler so I can maybe have dinner with my husband or maybe be stuck in the hotel room puking Normally he's been much farther away so time wise, but mostly money wise, it's not feasible for him to make it home. It'd be hundreds/a thousand bucks to come home for a night. We just can't afford it. I think the only reason it was maybe going to work for tonight was since the company has to pay for him to go from point a to point b with a layover somewhere, hubby was going to figure out how the layover could be here. So the short answer to your question is yes, technically he could, but no we can't afford it
DD was NOT listening during her gym class this morning, and it brought the worst out in me, in front of like a dozen other parents.
And I only had enough energy to make dinner for us and now I just wanna go to sleep and I feel so guilty that I'm not playing with her. I let her have her pacifier and she's watching videos on her kindle while I'm curled up next to her trying not to fall asleep.
@kayokosaeki my toddler was like 85% on his own for most of the day yesterday cause I was too sick to get off the couch. He watched so much TV. Dinner was a frozen microwave meal. I know it feels bad to not parent as well as you want to, but some days you can only do what you can do.
I have been crying almost every morning on the way to work. It is just so stressful getting ready and out the door, leaving the house and all my home responsibilities to wait (/never seem to get done), only to suit up and show up at the 9-5. Except it's not even 9-5, it's precisely 40 hours, (not a minute of overtime), and it's actually six days. :s I am there because the unicorn health insurance helped us get our first baby, fx. And we have 5 more snowbabies waiting for us, that we plan to eventually transfer all. So I'm hoping I can go back at 20 hours, (keeping the health insurance), after baby. Because this 40 hours jobbie-job rhing is not a good long-term situation for our family / household.
Meanwhile, also crying bc I decided to re-read DHs Valentine's Day card. ❤❤❤
smsaulino
member
Re: Why My Pregnant Self is Crying 3/2
I cried because it snowed so much last night and DH had to get up early to snow blow.
DH: 32
Married 7/18/15
1st born at 35+4 on 6/6/16
Team green turned BLUE!
2nd born at 38+6 on 8/30/18
Team green turned PINK!
Due with #3 on 6/6/20 Team Green
Married Aug. 2013
TTC #1 Sep. 2016
***TW***
BFP Jun. 5, 2017; MMC Aug. 2, 2017 at 11w6d
BFP Nov. 20, 2017; ended in CP
All the tests. Everything normal except treated for ureaplasma and DH potentially has high DNAF.
BFP Dec. 25, 2017; EDD Sep. 5, 2018; DD arrived Aug. 26th
My chart: https://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/63f71d
So freaking excited for those test results!!
@pourmeamocktail I feel ya on the exhaustion. I didn't fall asleep until 3am. And my dogs are use to me getting up at 7am so that's what time they came and got me. I have to somehow conduct three interviews today and then nanny for a bit. We just need to get through the day then it's the weekend!
@pourmeamocktail I’m sorry. That’s the worst. I hope you get a little rest before work (if that’s possible with LO!).
1. I have not slept past 3 am all this week due to needing to pee, DS crying out in his sleep, H snoring, or my dogs being loud.
2. I've essentially been awake since 315 this morning.
3. Daycare is closed today since the providers daughter has tested positive for the flu. This sucks because I'm now forced to use PTO to stay home with my son, and now we're all at higher risk of getting the flu too.
4. We got 5 inches of snow overnight and are forecasted to get up to 12 and it's heavy with ice underneath. I have a couple branches that are hanging on my fence that are worrying me a bit.
So much for it being Friday.
I almost started crying at dinner at the restaurant last night. My parents have been here visiting all week. We were always very close, and when I moved across the country it was the first time we weren’t all together on a weekly basis. But I’m having a lot of trouble dealing with their personality changes due to aging, especially my dad. Today is my mom’s birthday, I took off work and planned all this fun stuff that she will love, and I’m already anticipating my dad complaining and snapping at us all day. Wish me luck!
Married Aug. 2013
TTC #1 Sep. 2016
***TW***
BFP Jun. 5, 2017; MMC Aug. 2, 2017 at 11w6d
BFP Nov. 20, 2017; ended in CP
All the tests. Everything normal except treated for ureaplasma and DH potentially has high DNAF.
BFP Dec. 25, 2017; EDD Sep. 5, 2018; DD arrived Aug. 26th
My chart: https://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/63f71d
Married Aug. 2013
TTC #1 Sep. 2016
***TW***
BFP Jun. 5, 2017; MMC Aug. 2, 2017 at 11w6d
BFP Nov. 20, 2017; ended in CP
All the tests. Everything normal except treated for ureaplasma and DH potentially has high DNAF.
BFP Dec. 25, 2017; EDD Sep. 5, 2018; DD arrived Aug. 26th
My chart: https://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/63f71d
Me: racing thoughts of all the things/excitement
Next message from hubby: "nevermind."
Since it's already last minute how about you find out if you can actually come BEFORE telling your pregnant wife who hasn't seen you for 2 months and won't see you for another 2 months that you'll be home. Just a suggestion. Way to fuck with my emotions. It's not like I was already feeling totally crappy or anything.
Married Aug. 2013
TTC #1 Sep. 2016
***TW***
BFP Jun. 5, 2017; MMC Aug. 2, 2017 at 11w6d
BFP Nov. 20, 2017; ended in CP
All the tests. Everything normal except treated for ureaplasma and DH potentially has high DNAF.
BFP Dec. 25, 2017; EDD Sep. 5, 2018; DD arrived Aug. 26th
My chart: https://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/63f71d
Also, so to not be totally insufferable I went H.A.M. on a chicken that wasn't defrosting fast enough. I just wanted to make stock, and before I could just throw the bird into the pot of water I needed to pull out the plastic bag full of gizzards. I got so frustrated at how long it was taking that I grabbed the half frozen bird, and while screaming and crying tore that thing apart with my bare hands in a fit of rage.
There was no plastic bag of gizzards in this brand of bird.
The stock is really really good.
I am so bitter about how this project has been going with him basically living the frat boy life (yes, he's working but he has nights and weekends and holidays to himself to just hang with the other work guys) while I'm single momming it and now single momming it while pregnant. Everytime I'm having a shit day cause I'm sick and our toddler didn't sleep and I'm trying so hard to take care of myself and the kid and I'm literally just a walking pukey zombie and I ask what he's doing and he says, "well I slept in, went to brunch, took a nap, ordered a pizza, watched a movie and now I'm getting ready to go out with guy and guy for guy's birthday so I'll be out late drinking and need to sleep in again tomorrow," I just want to scream and break shit. I literally actually for realz don't remember the last time I slept through the night. I do remember the last time I went out to dinner or anywhere with a friend sans child, it was once in November. So yeah, it's been a while. Sorry for going full novel length rant but I'm so tired and so sick and so worn out that I struggle on a good day and his stupid drive by "I'm coming home/no I'm not," really fucked with me today and I'm so mad and sad about it.
@yosemite2018 I haven't actually done the math to figure out how far he is. He moves around. Next week he'll be like a 6 hour drive or a 1-2 hour flight. But he's working the whole time with meetings/company dinners in the evenings so it's pointless to try to get together. Or not pointless but for me it's honestly too much time and money and hassel to maybe be able to see him for dinner one time. And who knows if I'll be pukey or ok? Definitely don't want to spend all that money and ask for favors for someone to watch my toddler so I can maybe have dinner with my husband or maybe be stuck in the hotel room puking
So the short answer to your question is yes, technically he could, but no we can't afford it
And I only had enough energy to make dinner for us and now I just wanna go to sleep and I feel so guilty that I'm not playing with her. I let her have her pacifier and she's watching videos on her kindle while I'm curled up next to her trying not to fall asleep.
Not my best mom day. Double tears.
I know it feels bad to not parent as well as you want to, but some days you can only do what you can do.
I have been crying almost every morning on the way to work. It is just so stressful getting ready and out the door, leaving the house and all my home responsibilities to wait (/never seem to get done), only to suit up and show up at the 9-5. Except it's not even 9-5, it's precisely 40 hours, (not a minute of overtime), and it's actually six days. :s I am there because the unicorn health insurance helped us get our first baby, fx. And we have 5 more snowbabies waiting for us, that we plan to eventually transfer all. So I'm hoping I can go back at 20 hours, (keeping the health insurance), after baby. Because this 40 hours jobbie-job rhing is not a good long-term situation for our family / household.
Meanwhile, also crying bc I decided to re-read DHs Valentine's Day card. ❤❤❤