@stothi I love stories like that! I worked at very large spca from 16-22 as an adoption counselor and it was amazing to see dogs just pick their people. Humans always thought they were in control and you'd just smile and nod when someone told you a dog wasn't friendly and ignoring them, and hours later you watch the same dog contendly curled up on another adopters lap.
@Lcardinal04 yup! I've had a few animals over the years pick me/us and you just have to accept the wisdom of the universe and go with it When it feels right you just know
I think I’ve seen this mentioned before, but I feel like US pictures are super personal and it feels weird to post. I’ve honestly never felt weird or uncomfortable before when others post them, but now that I’m right now putting together my social media announcement, it feels super awkward!
@ashh2018 I never posted any ultrasound picture to FB and don't plan on it. For whatever reason it doesn't bother me as much on here, but I feel like the general public doesn't need to see the inside of my ute.
@ashh2018 IKWYM. I have only shared u/s pics more privately, and I don't plan on including one in our mail-out announcements. Please don't feel obligated to include one if it makes you feel uncomfortable! ❤
Thanks @nlc8424 and @BusinessWife! I have such a good photo and without the US, it’s just like, a calendar page and some flowers haha. It doesn’t make sense. Leave it to me to be so self-conscious that I think my uterus looks weird lol. I will go back to the drawing board I think.
I HAAATE when people shame others from buying a dog from a breeder instead of adopting. I did a ton of research to figure out the right breed for me/my living situation, researched *responsible* breeders, talked to others who got dogs from them and found the absolute most perfect pup for my life :-) I don't think it's anyone's responsibility to rescue an animal instead of buying one, as long as they are not getting a dog that came from a puppy mill.
And a bonus:
I hate the phrase "fed is best". Like... NOTHING against formula-feeding whatsoever, but I think "fed' is minimum... You could feed a newborn almond milk, but that's not "best", that's terrible! I just find the phrase so stupid and feel like someone can surely come up with a better way to convey that both breastfeeding and formula feeding are A-ok.
Engaged 12/2013 Married 5/2015 BFP 11/27/2015 - EDD 8/4/2016 Baby Boy born 8/13/2016 ~ 8lbs 7oz BFP 1/6/2018 - EDD 9/19/2018
@yogapants247 I assumed the phrase "fed is best," or "fed is fed," comes with the understanding that it means "fed appropriately." Like, it doesn't matter how you feed your child as long as they are fed appropriately/safely/in a healthy fashion. That's how I've always interpreted it at any rate. But then I usually don't use those phrases and go with something more along the lines of, "just freaking feed your kid!" I can't stand when people argue or shame or humble brag/outright brag* about how they feed their baby in regards to breastmilk vs formula. Just mind yo' business and feed your baby! Appropriately of course. No almond milk please until they are over a year old.
*I think it's 100% ok to be proud of breastfeeding especially if you meet a personal goal that means something to you. I only get pissy when someone uses that pride and goal to say that not only are they awesome but that means someone else sucks in comparison. It's the part where they act superior that I get bent out of shape about.
@yogapants247 totally agree on the dog thing! Responsible breeders are not the issue in over population, and dogs from good breeders are generally under contract to be returned if the owners can't keep them. It's the "oops, I let my dog wander so it keeps having litters," and "well just a few litters because my mix is so special" people that drive me nuts.
@yogapants247 I get what you're saying, but I'm going to go with @stothi on this. There is soooo much guilt and pressure associated with breastfeeding that immediately postpartum, it is sometimes really hard to remember that formula is not the end of the world, and that feeding your baby anything is better than feeding them nothing if you just aren't producing enough. To use your example, I'd even say feeding them almond milk is better than feeding them nothing.
Kind of related to this, I hate going to the pediatrician and being asked if she's breast or bottle fed. B*tch, she's bottle fed breastmilk because we never got a good latch and I work hard to make sure she's still fed breastmilk.
ETA: For the record, I KNOW almond milk is not an "acceptable" item to feed a baby. I was speaking generically that if your two choices are literally to let your baby sit there to starve forever and die, or feed your baby almond milk, feed the kid almond milk.
I HAAATE when people shame others from buying a dog from a breeder instead of adopting. I did a ton of research to figure out the right breed for me/my living situation, researched *responsible* breeders, talked to others who got dogs from them and found the absolute most perfect pup for my life :-) I don't think it's anyone's responsibility to rescue an animal instead of buying one, as long as they are not getting a dog that came from a puppy mill.
I hate that!! My dog is from a breeder and I did so much research before buying him. I think it's great people choose to rescue dogs, but that's not what I wanted to do when we got our pup and I didn't appreciate the people who commented on it when we got him.
_______________________________________________________________________________________________ MMC 8/5/15 at 8 weeks DS born 9/13/16 BFP 1/13/18 - EDD 9/20/18 - It's a boy!
If someone has all the information and chooses to formula feed that's one thing--we live in a society that is really sucky to nursing women, and there are aspects of it that not every mother is willing OR able to make. But it makes me sad when people formula-feed because "breast feeding didn't work out for them" even though they had intended to breastfeed. Hospitals and pediatricians are simply not providing the information and support they should. I have watched someone say that they were trying to breast feed but weren't producing enough while simultaneously giving the baby a bottle and not pumping, because pumping "barely produced anything". This is totally wrong information! The more you pump, the more you try, the more you make. I was told to pump after every feeding in the beginning because my supply was low at first, even if I got nothing. And when giving a bottle (either breast milk or formula) to pump at the same time so my body knew to keep producing. And to avoid bottles and pacifiers at first so she didn't get confused with the latch. I wish everyone who wanted to breastfeed got this info. :-(
If someone has all the information and chooses to formula feed that's one thing--we live in a society that is really sucky to nursing women, and there are aspects of it that not every mother is willing OR able to make. But it makes me sad when people formula-feed because "breast feeding didn't work out for them" even though they had intended to breastfeed. Hospitals and pediatricians are simply not providing the information and support they should. I have watched someone say that they were trying to breast feed but weren't producing enough while simultaneously giving the baby a bottle and not pumping, because pumping "barely produced anything". This is totally wrong information! The more you pump, the more you try, the more you make. I was told to pump after every feeding in the beginning because my supply was low at first, even if I got nothing. And when giving a bottle (either breast milk or formula) to pump at the same time so my body knew to keep producing. And to avoid bottles and pacifiers at first so she didn't get confused with the latch. I wish everyone who wanted to breastfeed got this info. :-(
I know I fall into the exception for this, but the bolded just isnt true for a lot of moms.
I don’t intend this next part to sound ranty but just want to illustrate my point: I worked my ass off for the majority of the 8 months I breastfed and the best I was ever able to do was give my son about 50% breast milk and 50% formula. Toward the end it was more like 30/70. Some women just literally *cannot* produce enough to EBF, and it’s not for lack of effort or lack of support. We triple fed (nursed and then topped off with a bottle and then I pumped to continue to stimulate) for the majority of those 8 months. I took expensive Motherlove supplements, fenugreek, ate lactation cookies, oatmeal, we tried the SNS, I took prescription Reglan which didn’t help, we had DS’s tongue tie revised, I did the boob massage while pumping, used therapearls—there literally wasn’t a single thing that I didn’t attempt. I’m still not sure if it was due to insufficient glandular tissue or if it’s just because we got off to a difficult start establishing supply. But, it happens and I know other moms who dealt with the same. I’m still going to try with this next LO but I know it still may not work out how I want it to. It’s a crappy feeling to feel like your body is failing your LO but *shrug* it’s not bc I didn’t try.
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me: 27 | husband: 35 IR PCOS dx Sept. 2014
married May 2015 --> started NTNP BFP 6.28.15 - EDD 3.6.16 baby #1born 2.19.16
@MandyMost I know you don’t mean it that way but the argument that women who had insufficient breastmilk simply didn’t try hard enough is part of the reason so many moms who can’t exclusively bf feel such guilt. Like @fwtx5815, I tried everything. All the lactation consultants, power pumping, supplements, bf “vacations”, and willing it to work in the world didn’t help me produce more, but that kind of narrow minded attitude and dismissive verbiage on blogs and Kelly mom made me feel personally at fault when there was nothing else I could have tried to make enough milk. My son didn’t gain for three fucking weeks while I tried all the things and stubbornly held into those elitist clips that I’d read and heard from other moms for whom bf had worked. We had to supplement with formula and I’ll be damned if i didn’t give myself/exacerbate ppd/ppa trying to do it on my own. It is one of the few times in life that the answer wasn’t simply to work harder at it. You need to be more careful how you word things about bf bc guess what- trying harder doesn’t fix it for everyone, but your words on such a sensitive and personal thing can make or break another new mom. Sorry if this is rambling, but I have the insomnia and a case of the mondays with crazy meetings and a flat tire. Also, if you can’t tell this really pisses me off.
PW: I’d like to clarify that I have no problem with bf’ing moms and am happy for those for whom it works. Just think before you post something that could be taken as: how someone else obviously didn’t care enough to make the effort for it to happen or educate themselves. That is condescending and alienating.
@fwtx5815 I completely see your side of things, but I think MandyMost was meaning that often when women start thinking their supply isn't adequate they start supplementing with formula and NOT doing all that you did to try and improve their supply. For example, they aren't pumping a lot (and if you're breastfeeding fulltime and not missing a feeding, chances are your output would be low), so they supplement with formula but aren't pumping each time they feed a bottle to replace the stimulation. I could be wrong and maybe that's not what she's trying to say. But breastfeeding can be really challenging at first and there's no way to accurately measure your output and doctors are only able to say "baby should be drinking X amount every X hours". I found it hard to get adequate support from my pediatrician regarding breastfeeding.
@nlc8424 that’s interesting that they didn’t have better communication/ support for EBF babies. Our ped always used growth/weight gain and general condition (not dehydrated) as the gauge of enough intake. They also gave me the referrals for in home lactation consultants though, so they might be more bf friendly than others.
I definitely feel for women who "tried everything" to keep up their bf journey, struggled, and perhaps it ended earlier than they might have hoped. I see how that could be very sad and disappointing, but there's absolutely no shame in it. ❤
I do also feel angry for the women who try, struggle alone, and give up due to lack of support and information from LCs, Peds, Nurses, Obs, friends and family etc. So many of our parents and grandparents formula fed without thinking twice about bf because it was seen differently at the time (from what I've read).
I mean, if you can believe it, there was a time not so long ago in America where bf was seen as something only poor or low-class people did, like if you were <i>anybody</i>, why would you bf??? Yuck. I mean, I'm grossly oversimplifying, but the sad fact is, a lot of new moms don't even have the benefit of firsthand experiences of their moms, aunts and grandmas, either bc they didn't do it themselves and/or families tend to be so much more spread out these days - both geographically and chronologically. So I mean, that aspect is a shame, but thankfully I do think there are a lot of people trying to change that and give new moms all the bf support they may need. ❤
@spottedginger I also had trouble with my son gaining weight after leaving the hospital, it took about 3 weeks for him to regularly start gaining. At the 2 week check up my ped basically told me that if he hadn't gained anything by the next time I went to the weigh station I'd have to supplement, but if he was within the goal weight gain range we were fine. He always talked about the growth curve and all that, but he also told me at less than 1 week old I should be able to pump 4 ounces no problem (not true). It's a small practice and I'm not 100% in love with it, but I can deal with their so-so suppprt with breastfeeding. I'm lucky in that I had a weigh station with IBCLCs available to me twice a week 5 minutes away from my house- they were the ones who made me able to successfully breastfeed exclusively.
@BusinessWife you're so right about the family part with lack of experience breastfeeding, I had no one personally in my family to ask so it felt very lonely. But the few people in my life who were knowledgeable were beyond helpful to me as a new mom.
@fwtx5815 I completely see your side of things, but I think MandyMost was meaning that often when women start thinking their supply isn't adequate they start supplementing with formula and NOT doing all that you did to try and improve their supply. For example, they aren't pumping a lot (and if you're breastfeeding fulltime and not missing a feeding, chances are your output would be low), so they supplement with formula but aren't pumping each time they feed a bottle to replace the stimulation. I could be wrong and maybe that's not what she's trying to say. But breastfeeding can be really challenging at first and there's no way to accurately measure your output and doctors are only able to say "baby should be drinking X amount every X hours". I found it hard to get adequate support from my pediatrician regarding breastfeeding.
I do agree that there are probably some moms out there who don’t realize that you have to remove milk if you’re giving a bottle of formula in order to maintain supply, but I guess the part that I take issue with is the sentiment that if it’s not working, it’s because you didn’t try or you just don’t know what you’re doing with a baby at the breast. I don’t think it was intended to come across that way though. I just wanted to highlight the fact that sometimes it’s beyond a woman’s control and it can be pretty isolating and anxiety inducing, and it’s wrong to assume their reasoning for “giving up”. But before experiencing this first hand, I’d never heard of a mom who couldn’t EBF when if they wanted to. It’s not really talked about in breastfeeding resources.
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me: 27 | husband: 35 IR PCOS dx Sept. 2014
married May 2015 --> started NTNP BFP 6.28.15 - EDD 3.6.16 baby #1born 2.19.16
I'm team tried everything. I had tons of information and support but my boobs just couldn't do it. I never felt bad though. Frustrated for sure, but not bad. I breastfed and supplemented until about 6.5 months when my son was all, "mom, I love you, but seriously put those things away and go make me a bottle." One tiny tiny upside to low production was the weaning process was really gentle and natural for us. Baby just started to prefer bottles as his needs increased and my production didn't. When he stopped nursing I didn't have to do anything while my milk dried up. No pain. No clogged ducts. Just a little bit of a heavier feeling for a few days/week. We had some trouble getting buddy to nurse at first cause he had to have formula at the hospital - he had low blood sugar and low body temp and jaundice from the pre-e and induction, and I didn't have any milk yet. Once we got home I just keep my top off while he had his bottle so he was still skin to skin with my bare breasts and then he'd comfort nurse after his bottle when he wasn't hangry anymore. Took us about 3-4 days and then all the sudden I had my little bits of milk to offer and he was happy to nurse for maybe half a day before he'd get too hungry and want a bottle. It was so much work nursing and pumping constantly- constantly -and still having to do formula bottles but I had really great support from hubby and we were happy we made it work as long as we did.
I have to say I 100% do not give a shit how anyone feeds their baby as long as they feed their baby appropriately. I really enjoyed breastfeeding so I'm hopeful I'll be about to produce more this time but I'm not going to stress out about it. Or at least I'm going to TRY to not to stress about it.
I was also team tried everything. I pumped and supplemented almost the whole first year and it was exhausting. I’m really not sure that it was worth it or that I’ll be willing to kill myself like that again for baby number 2. I’ll give it my best shot and if I can’t do it then formula it is. I hated being chained to a pump for hours a day and it definitely contributed to some ppd in my part.
@BusinessWife I totally agree with your comment. My mom is actually an IBCLC and she barely breastfed with my sister or I... she just didn’t have the resources and it wasn’t as common back then. When DD was born on her second day she was sent to the NICU and I was hooked up to an IV with triple antibiotics... so I had to get unhooked from my IV and walk across the bridge to another building to feed her every 3 hours. Needless to say I wasn’t getting any sleep and slept through a feeding. The NICU nurse angrily called me and said she was giving her formula (I at least sent DH to go over to give it to her) and I was sooo terrified about telling my mom she had formula the next day. She was so cool about it. I did what I could but most importantly DD was getting what she needed and that was the priority. Now at 15 months my mom is telling me to stop nursing (my OB wants me to stop now that I’m in 2nd tri) and I keep laughing about how I never thought I’d hear those words from her...
Bottom line: feed your kids appropriately (breast milk or formula), trying is awesome, seek out your local resources, and sometimes your body might fail you. If you can’t nurse just remember that your body made a human (or more than one in some cases) and that in itself is quite the feat!
@nackie pumping never bothered me, but I've been thinking that if I can't produce this time I'm not going to fight as hard. My tentative plan is to fight the good fight for maybe 3 months (try to make it through the worst part of cold and flu season) and then go to straight formula if need be. I just don't want to take the time and attention away from the kids trying to force something that isn't happening.
@nackie pumping never bothered me, but I've been thinking that if I can't produce this time I'm not going to fight as hard. My tentative plan is to fight the good fight for maybe 3 months (try to make it through the worst part of cold and flu season) and then go to straight formula if need be. I just don't want to take the time and attention away from the kids trying to force something that isn't happening.
For some reason I found pumping really uncomfortable and sometimes painful. Plus it meant I wasn’t interacting with baby or sleeping which were the two things I wanted to be doing most. My goal this time is also to make it through cold/flu season and then decide if I want to keep going.
I truly sincerely wish that every baby could be exclusively breast fed. But, that's a pipe dream, and I know it's just not going to happen. I guess I wish it were possible to happen, but real life just doesn't match scientific numbers.
So I'm so so happy that formula is a healthy option, so babies aren't starving, surviving on things like almond milk and sugar water, or having to find a wet nurse/potentially a new mommy to feed them as were the options in time long past.
I was lucky that my body responded great to a pump when my preemie NICU son couldn't eat for his first two weeks. As difficult as so many things were at that time, my boobs did their job. But I know it was luck on my part, not that I worked harder than other women.
It does frustrate me that so many doctors, nurses, and midwives don't have or supply important breastfeeding information, such as you must pump every 2-3 hours in the beginning if baby can't nurse, and you must pump every time baby gets a bottle, and all hormonal birth control can tank your supply (even progesterone only options MAY reduce your supply, some women are fine, others have large issues), etc. It's hard enough to parent a newborn, and feeding them is a lot of work no matter how you do it, you should be helped and supported in every way, no matter your choices or abilities.
Fed (appropriately) is totally best.
I do think that it's better in some ways to rescue dogs just because there are so so many that need homes, but I have no problems with people that can afford dogs from responsible breeders. Because I know that technically the world is overpopulated, so by the same logic, I should adopt children. But I want another biological child, and so it's totally OK to want a dog that you not only know the whole history of, but also their family history too.
Sorry, I had a lot of feelings.
_______________________________________________
Me: 33 DH: 32 Married 7/18/15 1st born at 35+4 on 6/6/16 Team green turned BLUE! 2nd born at 38+6 on 8/30/18 Team green turned PINK! Due with #3 on 6/6/20 Team Green
I thought I had adequately qualified my post with a statement that some women aren’t able to breastfeed at all or to the extent they would like, even with doing everything right. I guess not! My issue is with the system that does such disservice to women who want to breast feed and don’t succeed because there is not enough support or education provided to them. I personally know some women who fit this category and it makes me sad. And virtually all the women I know who did breastfeed has to jump through hoops to find the support and information we needed. Me included. I have a lot of respect for women who do whatever they can to succeed at whatever feeding methods they choose, even if they DON’T succeed.
@BusinessWife to add to your comment. I read or heard somewhere that when formula was gaining popularity many people believed that only women who couldn’t afford formula breastfeed.
@MandyMost I understood where you were going with that. I just wanted to share my experience because so much of the breastfeeding classes/literature/propaganda goes into great detail about how beneficial it is, but never mentions how hard it can be or that for some it just isn’t possible. I think it sets a lot of women up to face hard realities totally unprepared for it. I think it’s good for any FTMs to realize if it doesn’t work despite their best efforts, they didn’t fail or do anything wrong. Sometimes it just doesn’t work. Of course it would be great if all women got the support and information they need when babies are first born so they have the best chance of success.
I totally support that every mother has to make a decision on how to feed her child based on what works best in their situation. And it's not okay to make a woman feel like less of a mother because she can't, or even just doesn't want to breastfeed. I understand that the phrase "fed is best" shows support for these women. *That being said* It pisses me off when people get offended by someone using the phrase "breast is best." That catch phrase was not intended to shame non-BF moms, it is intended to change the negative attitude toward BF and to educate the public about the many benefits of BF. Breastmilk is nutritionally superior to formula. That's just a fact. BUT, nutrition is just ONE of many factors to consider when deciding how to feed your child. Also, saying that breastmilk is nutritionally best is not saying that formula is not good. It's good, frequently a safer, healthier option for some families. But, I don't believe you can censor facts because someone might choose to read into it and think they're being judged. Women and men need to be better educated about the various pros and cons of formula and BF for mother and child and to respect that parents will choose what is healthiest for their family.
I love how respectful and kind everyone here is while taking about such a sensitive topic. I agree with so many others; it’s a complex decision and the way you feed your baby has to be the way that is best for your baby, you, and your family. I had a hard time breastfeeding when DD was born and had read that the first 6 weeks are typically the hardest, and it usually gets easier after that. So for me I committed to 6 weeks of pumping, nursing, dropper feeding, and nipple shielding. It did get easier for us, and I’m grateful for that. I’m also grateful for the lactation consultant I was able to work with and highly recommend asking to visit with one before you leave the hospital. It can be so beneficial to have a face and name to call once you get home and feel like something isn’t right!
Just wanted to jump in and clarify that I REALLY am only taking issue with that specific phrase, not formula feeding at all.
My son got formula in the hospital due to low blood sugar and we supplemented a lot in the beginning, plus the only reason I was able to breastfeed for a year was because I quit my job after only being back for 2 months - I was never able to pump enough for him while at work. My boobs were definitely just-enough-ers. While I wholeheartedly agree that there needs to be more support for breastfeeding, I hate that there is any shaming going on at all for women who choose to or have to use formula.
Engaged 12/2013 Married 5/2015 BFP 11/27/2015 - EDD 8/4/2016 Baby Boy born 8/13/2016 ~ 8lbs 7oz BFP 1/6/2018 - EDD 9/19/2018
I thought I had adequately qualified my post with a statement that some women aren’t able to breastfeed at all or to the extent they would like, even with doing everything right. I guess not! My issue is with the system that does such disservice to women who want to breast feed and don’t succeed because there is not enough support or education provided to them. I personally know some women who fit this category and it makes me sad. And virtually all the women I know who did breastfeed has to jump through hoops to find the support and information we needed. Me included. I have a lot of respect for women who do whatever they can to succeed at whatever feeding methods they choose, even if they DON’T succeed.
There really just isn't enough support, it sucks. I delivered at a great hospital with LC's on staff, and also got to come back into the hospital a few days after going home to meet with one, which was amaaaazing, but then.... nothing. I couldn't get a clear answer from my insurance company if seeing an LC in my home would be covered, and I couldn't afford it if it wasn't. And don't even get me started on going back to work and dealing with all that pumping crap. I had a great work environment and still was made to feel awkward and like I was maybe just taking "breaks" all the time. It sucked, and if I didn't quit my job when I did I definitely would've quit nursing, I just couldn't handle all that.
Engaged 12/2013 Married 5/2015 BFP 11/27/2015 - EDD 8/4/2016 Baby Boy born 8/13/2016 ~ 8lbs 7oz BFP 1/6/2018 - EDD 9/19/2018
I found this article to be incredibly helpful (in hindsight- since I didn’t see it until much later) in coming to terms with supplementing and formula feeding. It is written by Emily Oster, who is the author of Expecting Better, which is my favorite pregnancy book. The article looks at the studies and statistics of the most commonly cited differences in bf and for babies. https://fivethirtyeight.com/features/everybody-calm-down-about-breastfeeding/
Our pediatrician also assured me that if DS was getting just four ounces of breastmilk a day, he was still getting the benefits. (Not sure that statement was based at all on science, but it made me feel better about the ongoing effort)
I found this article to be incredibly helpful (in hindsight- since I didn’t see it until much later) in coming to terms with supplementing and formula feeding. It is written by Emily Oster, who is the author of Expecting Better, which is my favorite pregnancy book. The article looks at the studies and statistics of the most commonly cited differences in bf and for babies. https://fivethirtyeight.com/features/everybody-calm-down-about-breastfeeding/
Our pediatrician also assured me that if DS was getting just four ounces of breastmilk a day, he was still getting the benefits. (Not sure that statement was based at all on science, but it made me feel better about the ongoing effort)
@spottedginger I’ve had that article bookmarked in my phone for a long time and it helped me immensely in easing the guilt and frustration after we ended BFing earlier than I’d wanted to. Love me some Emily Oster!
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me: 27 | husband: 35 IR PCOS dx Sept. 2014
married May 2015 --> started NTNP BFP 6.28.15 - EDD 3.6.16 baby #1born 2.19.16
@spottedginger I could totally produce 4oz! Not a lot more but I could manage 4. My personal best pump was 2 oz. An ounce and a half from righty and half an ounce from lefty. I was so proud, lol! Lefty was such a slacker. My baby refused to nurse on the left after about 4 months, so it was all righty for the last 2.5 months.
-snipped- Our pediatrician also assured me that if DS was getting just four ounces of breastmilk a day, he was still getting the benefits. (Not sure that statement was based at all on science, but it made me feel better about the ongoing effort)
This makes my heart so happy to hear this because I’ve been so guilt-ridden about DS weaning at 10 months. Between the pregnancy hormones and a bad viral illness, my supply tanked and DS self-weaned last month. I have just enough freezer stash to give him 5 ounces a day mixed in with formula until he turns one later this month. Some days I wonder if that five ounces “does” anything for him, and just hearing this reinforces the logical side of my brain that tells me it does give him some benefit!
All this breastfeeding talk makes me miss it. In January I got pregnant and stopped producing, DD was 16 months. It was sudden; I didn't even know it was happening or it was a thing. BF is the hardest thing I have ever done and I can't believe I miss it.
All this breastfeeding talk makes me miss it. In January I got pregnant and stopped producing, DD was 16 months. It was sudden; I didn't even know it was happening or it was a thing. BF is the hardest thing I have ever done and I can't believe I miss it.
I am trying to wean now (15 months) and hated breastfeeding but am really sad to be stopping. It doesn’t help that DD still pulls my shirt down...
Re: Unpopular Opinions 3/1
I HAAATE when people shame others from buying a dog from a breeder instead of adopting. I did a ton of research to figure out the right breed for me/my living situation, researched *responsible* breeders, talked to others who got dogs from them and found the absolute most perfect pup for my life :-) I don't think it's anyone's responsibility to rescue an animal instead of buying one, as long as they are not getting a dog that came from a puppy mill.
And a bonus:
I hate the phrase "fed is best". Like... NOTHING against formula-feeding whatsoever, but I think "fed' is minimum... You could feed a newborn almond milk, but that's not "best", that's terrible! I just find the phrase so stupid and feel like someone can surely come up with a better way to convey that both breastfeeding and formula feeding are A-ok.
Married 5/2015
BFP 11/27/2015 - EDD 8/4/2016
BFP 1/6/2018 - EDD 9/19/2018
But then I usually don't use those phrases and go with something more along the lines of, "just freaking feed your kid!" I can't stand when people argue or shame or humble brag/outright brag* about how they feed their baby in regards to breastmilk vs formula. Just mind yo' business and feed your baby! Appropriately of course. No almond milk please until they are over a year old.
*I think it's 100% ok to be proud of breastfeeding especially if you meet a personal goal that means something to you. I only get pissy when someone uses that pride and goal to say that not only are they awesome but that means someone else sucks in comparison. It's the part where they act superior that I get bent out of shape about.
Kind of related to this, I hate going to the pediatrician and being asked if she's breast or bottle fed. B*tch, she's bottle fed breastmilk because we never got a good latch and I work hard to make sure she's still fed breastmilk.
ETA: For the record, I KNOW almond milk is not an "acceptable" item to feed a baby. I was speaking generically that if your two choices are literally to let your baby sit there to starve forever and die, or feed your baby almond milk, feed the kid almond milk.
MMC 8/5/15 at 8 weeks
DS born 9/13/16
BFP 1/13/18 - EDD 9/20/18 - It's a boy!
I don’t intend this next part to sound ranty but just want to illustrate my point:
I worked my ass off for the majority of the 8 months I breastfed and the best I was ever able to do was give my son about 50% breast milk and 50% formula. Toward the end it was more like 30/70. Some women just literally *cannot* produce enough to EBF, and it’s not for lack of effort or lack of support. We triple fed (nursed and then topped off with a bottle and then I pumped to continue to stimulate) for the majority of those 8 months. I took expensive Motherlove supplements, fenugreek, ate lactation cookies, oatmeal, we tried the SNS, I took prescription Reglan which didn’t help, we had DS’s tongue tie revised, I did the boob massage while pumping, used therapearls—there literally wasn’t a single thing that I didn’t attempt. I’m still not sure if it was due to insufficient glandular tissue or if it’s just because we got off to a difficult start establishing supply. But, it happens and I know other moms who dealt with the same. I’m still going to try with this next LO but I know it still may not work out how I want it to. It’s a crappy feeling to feel like your body is failing your LO but *shrug* it’s not bc I didn’t try.
me: 27 | husband: 35
IR PCOS dx Sept. 2014
married May 2015 --> started NTNP
BFP 6.28.15 - EDD 3.6.16
baby #1 born 2.19.16
TTC #2 in April 2017
BFP 12.30.17 - EDD 9.6.18
Fertility Friend Chart
I do also feel angry for the women who try, struggle alone, and give up due to lack of support and information from LCs, Peds, Nurses, Obs, friends and family etc. So many of our parents and grandparents formula fed without thinking twice about bf because it was seen differently at the time (from what I've read).
I mean, if you can believe it, there was a time not so long ago in America where bf was seen as something only poor or low-class people did, like if you were <i>anybody</i>, why would you bf??? Yuck. I mean, I'm grossly oversimplifying, but the sad fact is, a lot of new moms don't even have the benefit of firsthand experiences of their moms, aunts and grandmas, either bc they didn't do it themselves and/or families tend to be so much more spread out these days - both geographically and chronologically. So I mean, that aspect is a shame, but thankfully I do think there are a lot of people trying to change that and give new moms all the bf support they may need. ❤
*words
@BusinessWife you're so right about the family part with lack of experience breastfeeding, I had no one personally in my family to ask so it felt very lonely. But the few people in my life who were knowledgeable were beyond helpful to me as a new mom.
me: 27 | husband: 35
IR PCOS dx Sept. 2014
married May 2015 --> started NTNP
BFP 6.28.15 - EDD 3.6.16
baby #1 born 2.19.16
TTC #2 in April 2017
BFP 12.30.17 - EDD 9.6.18
Fertility Friend Chart
We had some trouble getting buddy to nurse at first cause he had to have formula at the hospital - he had low blood sugar and low body temp and jaundice from the pre-e and induction, and I didn't have any milk yet. Once we got home I just keep my top off while he had his bottle so he was still skin to skin with my bare breasts and then he'd comfort nurse after his bottle when he wasn't hangry anymore. Took us about 3-4 days and then all the sudden I had my little bits of milk to offer and he was happy to nurse for maybe half a day before he'd get too hungry and want a bottle.
It was so much work nursing and pumping constantly- constantly -and still having to do formula bottles but I had really great support from hubby and we were happy we made it work as long as we did.
I have to say I 100% do not give a shit how anyone feeds their baby as long as they feed their baby appropriately. I really enjoyed breastfeeding so I'm hopeful I'll be about to produce more this time but I'm not going to stress out about it. Or at least I'm going to TRY to not to stress about it.
Bottom line: feed your kids appropriately (breast milk or formula), trying is awesome, seek out your local resources, and sometimes your body might fail you. If you can’t nurse just remember that your body made a human (or more than one in some cases) and that in itself is quite the feat!
My goal this time is also to make it through cold/flu season and then decide if I want to keep going.
So I'm so so happy that formula is a healthy option, so babies aren't starving, surviving on things like almond milk and sugar water, or having to find a wet nurse/potentially a new mommy to feed them as were the options in time long past.
I was lucky that my body responded great to a pump when my preemie NICU son couldn't eat for his first two weeks. As difficult as so many things were at that time, my boobs did their job. But I know it was luck on my part, not that I worked harder than other women.
It does frustrate me that so many doctors, nurses, and midwives don't have or supply important breastfeeding information, such as you must pump every 2-3 hours in the beginning if baby can't nurse, and you must pump every time baby gets a bottle, and all hormonal birth control can tank your supply (even progesterone only options MAY reduce your supply, some women are fine, others have large issues), etc. It's hard enough to parent a newborn, and feeding them is a lot of work no matter how you do it, you should be helped and supported in every way, no matter your choices or abilities.
Fed (appropriately) is totally best.
I do think that it's better in some ways to rescue dogs just because there are so so many that need homes, but I have no problems with people that can afford dogs from responsible breeders. Because I know that technically the world is overpopulated, so by the same logic, I should adopt children. But I want another biological child, and so it's totally OK to want a dog that you not only know the whole history of, but also their family history too.
Sorry, I had a lot of feelings.
DH: 32
Married 7/18/15
1st born at 35+4 on 6/6/16
Team green turned BLUE!
2nd born at 38+6 on 8/30/18
Team green turned PINK!
Due with #3 on 6/6/20 Team Green
@BusinessWife to add to your comment. I read or heard somewhere that when formula was gaining popularity many people believed that only women who couldn’t afford formula breastfeed.
Of course it would be great if all women got the support and information they need when babies are first born so they have the best chance of success.
*That being said* It pisses me off when people get offended by someone using the phrase "breast is best." That catch phrase was not intended to shame non-BF moms, it is intended to change the negative attitude toward BF and to educate the public about the many benefits of BF. Breastmilk is nutritionally superior to formula. That's just a fact. BUT, nutrition is just ONE of many factors to consider when deciding how to feed your child. Also, saying that breastmilk is nutritionally best is not saying that formula is not good. It's good, frequently a safer, healthier option for some families. But, I don't believe you can censor facts because someone might choose to read into it and think they're being judged.
Women and men need to be better educated about the various pros and cons of formula and BF for mother and child and to respect that parents will choose what is healthiest for their family.
My son got formula in the hospital due to low blood sugar and we supplemented a lot in the beginning, plus the only reason I was able to breastfeed for a year was because I quit my job after only being back for 2 months - I was never able to pump enough for him while at work. My boobs were definitely just-enough-ers. While I wholeheartedly agree that there needs to be more support for breastfeeding, I hate that there is any shaming going on at all for women who choose to or have to use formula.
Married 5/2015
BFP 11/27/2015 - EDD 8/4/2016
BFP 1/6/2018 - EDD 9/19/2018
Married 5/2015
BFP 11/27/2015 - EDD 8/4/2016
BFP 1/6/2018 - EDD 9/19/2018
https://fivethirtyeight.com/features/everybody-calm-down-about-breastfeeding/
Our pediatrician also assured me that if DS was getting just four ounces of breastmilk a day, he was still getting the benefits. (Not sure that statement was based at all on science, but it made me feel better about the ongoing effort)
me: 27 | husband: 35
IR PCOS dx Sept. 2014
married May 2015 --> started NTNP
BFP 6.28.15 - EDD 3.6.16
baby #1 born 2.19.16
TTC #2 in April 2017
BFP 12.30.17 - EDD 9.6.18
Fertility Friend Chart