Waiting Room Wednesday 2/7

meggyme

***General TW that this thread might contain discussions mentioning MC and loss.***

Welcome to Waiting Room Wednesday!

You can express your thoughts, feelings, and frustrations on not TTC and connect with others who are in the same boat. TTC can be a long journey, and having to wait makes it feel even longer -- even if it is for a good reason. I invite you to resurrect this thread at any point in the week if you have something to say. Treat this like an ongoing conversation.

Benched = involuntarily not NTNP/TTC and "out of the game," usually due to medical reasons

TTA = avoiding pregnancy by using protection or FAM, usually for non-health-related reasons __________________________________________________________________

When do you think you will start TTC?

Any R/R?

GTKY: What is your favorite tv show right now?

meggyme

I needed this today.

When do you think you will start TTC? May

Any R/R? I’ve officially entered the second wave of friends getting knocked up... this weekend alone I was alerted to 3 new friends having babies and it’s really testing my resolve to wait until May (we have a big vacation planned). Making it additionally harder is the fact that my nexplanon is plotting against me and today I’ve started my 3rd period in a month. This makes me even more eager to pull the thing out, which will make it exponentially harder to wait to start TTC until after our vacation.

GTKY: What is your favorite tv show right now?
I’ve been dodging This is Us spoilers all day. I’m also excited for Homeland to start up again!

grangerhp37

@meggyme Ugh 3rd period in a month sounds super annoying - hopefully it sorts itself out soon! I think I'm going through my first wave of pregnant friends - 4 coworkers, a few college friends, so far none of my closest friends but that's probably not too far off!

When do you think you will start TTC? May. We just booked a big trip to Europe for July (one of our pre-baby bucket list items - if we're fortunate enough to get KU rather quickly, I'm not sure when we'll have another chance to do it!). While I know the smart choice would be to push TTC back til July after our trip (plus I'm a bridesmaid in 2 weddings in July and November), I also know there's never going to be a good time to start a family. I keep trying to balance the pros/cons of even waiting til May, so I don't think there's any way I'll be able to wait even longer!

Any R/R? My H and I spent all of last weekend updating our 2 full bathrooms and we are obsessed with how it turned out! We painted our oak cabinets a dark brown and our white walls a light gray, and it made such a difference! Still working on replacing some of the hardware, and we plan to replace the faucets and the vanity lights as well. We just bought the house in May 2017, so it's nice to be making a real improvement!

GTKY: What is your favorite tv show right now? H and I started watching Grey's from the beginning last year (I had seen random episodes but never watched them all in order). We are on season 12 now so I'll be glad once we're caught up to the new episodes! Also, we watch This is Us - we watched Sunday's episode but still need to catch up on last night's, maybe tonight. We'll need a new show to watch once we catch up on Grey's!

meggyme

@dogmomma271 our vacation in May is to Europe too. We are so excited. It’s the only reason I’m waiting until May to start TTC. I want to be able to drink all the wine on our trip.

grangerhp37

@meggyme I feel the same way - I just keep trying to convince myself that the odds we'll get KU in the first cycle or two are very low and if it does work out that way, we'll be thrilled and I won't mind not drinking on our trip. We just went to Italy last year and I drank quite a bit of wine on that trip - this year we're going to London and Paris. Also I'm using future TTC as an "excuse" to drink all the wine between now and May!

kristah2

@meggyme I was shocked to find out homeland was still on! I got so bored and gave up during season 2 or 3! Also 3 periods in a month?! I hate dealing with one. You are a trooper.
@dogmomma271 super jealous of your bathroom updates! Sounds amazing!! It's on my to-do list.
I'm jealous of both of your vacations to Europe! Italy is my favorite place in the world! We debated doing a trip pre-baby but I don't think I'll be able to get time off work.

When do you think you will start TTC? June or July - NTNP until then. We were trying but H is being pulled away for work for 4 weeks early 2019 and I just can't deal with a newborn and toddler all alone. It's way too hard and I know I need his support.. so here we are - putting it off and I'm beyond sad about it.

Any R/R? Nah. Still really down that we are putting out family off. I feel like he's choosing work over family and he blames my anxiety as to why I want to hold off. It's a lot of resentment which is hard on the relationship right now. I'm also having really bad cramps today but I'm CD9 - so too late to bf AF but too early to be O so I don't know whats happening.

GTKY: What is your favorite tv show right now? +1 Greys fan!! Have been for years. But I have to admit I watch A LOT of tv. 

meggyme

@kristah2 trooper I may be, but I don’t have much choice in the matter. If this trend continues I’ll getting it out a bit earlier than planned. That sucks about putting it off but it won’t be for long.

the-most-happy

When do you think you will start TTC? It seems like a lot of people are in the same boat as me- holding off until after a big vacation! The problem is the vacation in question is next summer... so I don't know that we actually want to wait that long.

Any R/R? My rant is basically not knowing what to do about TTC. My husband and I were always planning on starting to try for a baby after we take a trip to Spain next summer (2019) with both of our families. However, I recently had a major surgery and that seems to have triggered some unexpected feelings for both of us- two months of basically just staying home and sitting out a lot of the social stuff we normally do made us realize we're more ready to "settle down" than we thought we were. Now that we feel like we'd actually be ready to start trying as soon as this summer, I'm questioning if it's silly to put off TTC for a whole year just for an as yet unbooked vacation... and I'm not trying to be pregnant in Spain and have to miss out on all the delicious wine, cured meats, and unpasteurized cheeses. 

GTKY: What is your favorite tv show right now? H and I watch a lotttt of TV... I guess my favorite show that's on currently is The Good Place, which just wrapped up its second season last week. I'm also obsessed with the reality show Vanderpump Rules.

meggyme

@the-most-happy we will be traveling with my toddler, so vacationing with kids (especially with both your families) is totally doable. Especially while they're still little they are super easy to load up and take anywear. I hear you on not wanting to be pregnant during the trip though. But until you have tickets, it's hard to determine when that trip will actually happen. Is there anyway to convince people to do the trip this summer? There's still plenty of time to plan a vacation.

the-most-happy

@meggyme Unfortunately both of our families already have their vacations booked for this summer (can you tell we're all big on planning ahead?), so that wouldn't be an option. And yeah, I definitely wouldn't be opposed to traveling with a toddler- I'd just rather not be pregnant or traveling with a newborn, so it looks like my options are either to wait until after Spain to start TTC, or push the trip to 2020 and work on getting knocked up sometime this summer, haha. Neither of which would be the end of the world... it's just hard to know how exactly I'm going to feel about all of it a year from now!

I think you mentioned that you're currently going through a wave of friends getting pregnant? That's definitely part of the reason we're suddenly feeling more motivated too! I'm sure it's a bit different when you already have at least one kid, but either way it's definitely hard to ignore those little pangs of jealousy when you see another pregnancy announcement. 

meggyme

@the-most-happy that certainly doesn’t make waiting any easier. However a lot of people in this second pregnancy wave of mine are FTM’s, so there are some advantages of not being part of that first wave. Your friends are better able to help you (in a way that actually helps), there’s hand-me-downs, some of them may end up pregnant with a second along with you, and you get to really enjoy date nights and spontaneous plans with the realization you don’t need a sitter or to parent with a hangover. And you can be the awesome aunty, cuddling kids all day and then giving them back.

grangerhp37

@kristah2 I'm sorry about having to put off TTC, especially if you feel like it's because H is putting work before family. It does sound smart to delay a little if you'll be on your own for several weeks early next year. FX it's only a few more months before you can start trying again!
@the-most-happy Welcome! Sounds like you're in a tough spot - summer 2019 seems so far out to have to postpone TTC around your trip! But I totally understand both sides. I'm starting to get in the mindset that if we get KU quicker than expected, then we won't regret anything we might miss out on because we are so looking forward to starting a family. But if we have trouble getting pregnant, I also don't want to not take any big trips "just in case" we might get pregnant. Hopefully you and your H can decide on timing that works best for you!