TTCAL 29th January — The Bump
Trying to Get Pregnant

TTCAL 29th January

his is a general trigger warning that CP, miscarriage / spontaneous abortion, selective abortion due to medical complications, and / or stillbirth may be mentioned.** 

Introduce yourself and anything you think is important: number of loss(es), when you had the loss(es), diagnosis / conditions surrounding loss, etc.

Status:

How are things going? What is something that you are struggling with this week? What is going well for you this week? R/R?

Any testing coming up/any recent results?

GTKY: What was your favourite new movie/movies that you saw in 2017 that you would recommend?
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Re: TTCAL 29th January

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  • @craftyG I completely understand feeling mad at the world. It's just not fair. I'm sorry to hear you lost your dad, it must be extremely difficult for you right now.
    @acciocoffee It's a good idea to plan things during the TWW, it really does help make the time go by faster.
    @eleven_ That's a sweet work perk. I'm sorry about the BFN and I hope your pregestorone and estrogen come back normal.

    Introduce yourself and anything you think is important: number of loss(es), when you had the loss(es), diagnosis / conditions surrounding loss, etc.
    TFAS - 3 early losses last year

    Status: TWW - 5dpo

    How are things going? What is something that you are struggling with this week? What is going well for you this week? R/R? I'm weirdly calm with how things are going at the moment. For me, I've discovered that if I plan things (such as painting more trim in our house) it gives me something to focus on rather than obsessing about ttc.
    Rave: DH and I booked a mini weekend away the second week of February. It's actually a work trip for DH, but he only has to work one day, so we will have a couple of days together.
    Rant: My SIL wants all her bridesmaids (including myself) to pick our bridesmaid dresses this weekend. I really like dress shopping, but I'm hesistant to drop $200 on a dress that I might not even be able to wear. I know it's a long shot, but I'm still hopeful for a rainbow baby. But if I keep having losses, I don't want to be wear a maternity dress to wedding because that would be a major slap in face on that day.

    Any testing coming up/any recent results? HPTs starting on Thursday because I'm going out for drinks with some friends.

    GTKY: What was your favourite new movie/movies that you saw in 2017 that you would recommend? The Last Jedi was one of my favorites, but if you want a really good laugh you should watch The Hitman's Bodyguard.
    DD - August 2015
    TTC #2 - April 2017
    BFP May 13, 2017 - NMC June 5, 2017 (dx blighted ovum)
    BFP August 6, 2017- CP August 17, 2017
    BFP October 14, 2017 - NMC November 5, 2017
    BFP February 1, 2018 - CP February 3, 2018
    BFP May 25, 2018 - Due February 5, 2019


    offtoneverlandeleven_dpjennifer
  • @CraftyG I'm so sorry about your dad and that you're struggling right now.  I hope you enjoyed your date night, that sounds like a lot of fun.

    @holly321 I'm sorry you've been feeling crappy.  I hope you feel better soon!  FX everything is normal with the HCG check.

    @eleven_ ugh, sorry about lack of AF and the BFN.  Were you counting your bleeding with your CP as CD1?  If so your cycle might be a little off because of that.  I've read conflicting things about whether or not to count a CP as a regular cycle or not.  

    @acciocoffee I'm sorry you're struggling too.  I hope that you can find some good ways to stay busy.  It's hard for me not to get obsessive too.  

    @ChloandCoco I hate that limbo of "I might be pregnant during this time" that makes it hard to plan.  




    Me: 32  H: 32
    Married: 4/5/13

    "You know that place between sleep and awake, 
    that place where you can still remember dreaming?
    That's where I will always love you.  
    That's where I'll be waiting."
    ~Peter Pan 

    *TW*
    BFP #1: 11/12/12  EDD 7/25/13 Baby boy: 7/27/13
    BFP #2: 10/29/17   MMC dx @ 9 weeks
    BFP #3: 2/2/18 MC 2/7/18
    BFP #4: 3/2/18  MC 3/9/18
    RPL testing and hysteroscopy: all normal
    BFP #5: 4/1/18 MMC dx @ 14 weeks ----> genetically normal girl  :'(
    Hysteroscopy to remove scar tissue 9/28
    BFP #6 11/5/18 EDD 7/20/19  <3  Rainbow baby girl born 7/23/19 
    ChloandCocoholly321offtoneverlandeleven_
  • @coco2787 Looks like we will be testing at the same time. Good luck staying cool these next few days.
    DD - August 2015
    TTC #2 - April 2017
    BFP May 13, 2017 - NMC June 5, 2017 (dx blighted ovum)
    BFP August 6, 2017- CP August 17, 2017
    BFP October 14, 2017 - NMC November 5, 2017
    BFP February 1, 2018 - CP February 3, 2018
    BFP May 25, 2018 - Due February 5, 2019


    coco2787
  • Introduce yourself and anything you think is important: number of loss(es), when you had the loss(es), diagnosis / conditions surrounding loss, etc.

    Ectopic back in November,  left tube removed at 9 weeks

    Status: TWW

    How are things going? What is something that you are struggling with this week? What is going well for you this week? R/R?

    TTC is not for the faint of heart.  I can't even talk about it right now.  I feel like I'm taking crazy pills. F the TWW. 

    Any testing coming up/anony recent results?

    no,  I'm not doing this again for another couple days.  Not to mention I'm about to burn the remaining tests I have.  

    GTKY: What was your favourite new movie/movies that you saw in 2017 that you would recommend?
    John Wick 2, or The Circle. 
    Me:33 & DH:35 - Married 
    TTC 1 since Aug17
    BFP 1- 10/20 ended with EP Lap and left tube removed on 11/20 at 9 weeks.


    offtoneverlandeleven_dpjenniferboniface
  • @zamora_spin I'm hoping I can order mine later, but there might be a discount if everyone orders together. 
    @galactickates I'm sorry you are having a hard time in the TWW, it's not a fun place to be. We are here for you if you need to vent.
    DD - August 2015
    TTC #2 - April 2017
    BFP May 13, 2017 - NMC June 5, 2017 (dx blighted ovum)
    BFP August 6, 2017- CP August 17, 2017
    BFP October 14, 2017 - NMC November 5, 2017
    BFP February 1, 2018 - CP February 3, 2018
    BFP May 25, 2018 - Due February 5, 2019


    galactickates
  • Lol that's exactly what I was channeling. 

    Possible tw 

    I was the victim of an evap line or a CP  I don't even know.  The line was super faint yesterday morning and I've gotten nothing but stark white BFNS ever since.  I was so confident I told my H. I had to break it to him this morning.  Trust me,  I've taken enough tests (fmu included) to have figured it out. That line isn't coming back.  I'm just mad and sad. Beyond frustrated. 

    I didn't even want to say it because this happens to people and they just deal with it.  I'm just pouting. It was a roller coaster I didn't really want to ride.  


    I feel like this is my big lesson in testing early.  Ok got it!  Thanks!  Never again!

    *learns nothing and does it again next month*

    Me:33 & DH:35 - Married 
    TTC 1 since Aug17
    BFP 1- 10/20 ended with EP Lap and left tube removed on 11/20 at 9 weeks.


    dpjenniferboniface
  • @galactickates I'm so sorry you have to deal with that! The same thing happened to me on a FRER back in June. We weren't trying yet, but I was a week late for AF and I had a faint positive followed by a bunch of negatives. I still have no idea what happened but I personally think mine was a nasty evap. Treat yourself to a relaxing night tonight! 
    offtoneverlandgalactickates
  • @galactickates, what brand of test?  I found that FRER is awful about showing lines.  When we first started trying I 100% thought I had a BFP and even introed on a BMB.  I am sorry that happened to you.  It's bad enough to be TTCAL, then to have to deal with that let down isn't fair.
    @ChloandCoco, having a distraction definitely helps me.  I have been focusing on running right now.   When is the wedding? Can you  get something with a high wasteline?  Good luck with the your decision.
    @acciocoffee, I have no control with tests.  I occasionally take them between my checks, especially if I feel symptomatic, and if I have more than one in the house, it will get peed on.  

    Me: 30 DH:32

    DD 3/11  

    MMC 2/12

    DS 1/13

    TTC #3 since 2/17.  Malignant molar missed miscarriage 8/22/17

    ChloandCocogalactickatesofftoneverland
  • Dammit, I’m so sorry @galactickates ; :'( I’ve heard of a lot of people having that problem with FRER tests. 
    Me: 32  H: 32
    Married: 4/5/13

    "You know that place between sleep and awake, 
    that place where you can still remember dreaming?
    That's where I will always love you.  
    That's where I'll be waiting."
    ~Peter Pan 

    *TW*
    BFP #1: 11/12/12  EDD 7/25/13 Baby boy: 7/27/13
    BFP #2: 10/29/17   MMC dx @ 9 weeks
    BFP #3: 2/2/18 MC 2/7/18
    BFP #4: 3/2/18  MC 3/9/18
    RPL testing and hysteroscopy: all normal
    BFP #5: 4/1/18 MMC dx @ 14 weeks ----> genetically normal girl  :'(
    Hysteroscopy to remove scar tissue 9/28
    BFP #6 11/5/18 EDD 7/20/19  <3  Rainbow baby girl born 7/23/19 
  • Thanks @acciocoffee & @holly321 I feel like this was a very hard lesson in understanding why people don't test early.  I'm sorry you guys know the pain.  I just feel so stupid.  Last night at dinner I didn't even drink.  I could have definitely used one.  I'm having that glass of wine I missed out on tonight!
    Me:33 & DH:35 - Married 
    TTC 1 since Aug17
    BFP 1- 10/20 ended with EP Lap and left tube removed on 11/20 at 9 weeks.


    offtoneverland
  • @ChloandCoco how far way is the wedding?

    @acciocoffee @galactickates I honestly can't be trusted with tests in the house. I just convince myself there is a faint possibility against all reason
  • @galactickates That really sucks. It seems like a lot of people are getting evap lines. **sending you all the hugs**
    @lokibear89 That is really weird. The picture looks beautiful!
    @lokibear89 @holly321 The wedding is in July, so there’s still lots of time. 
    DD - August 2015
    TTC #2 - April 2017
    BFP May 13, 2017 - NMC June 5, 2017 (dx blighted ovum)
    BFP August 6, 2017- CP August 17, 2017
    BFP October 14, 2017 - NMC November 5, 2017
    BFP February 1, 2018 - CP February 3, 2018
    BFP May 25, 2018 - Due February 5, 2019


    holly321galactickates
  • @CraftyG I'm so sorry that you've had to deal with so many anniversaries of terrible things to remember. I'll be thinking of you and I'm sending you big huge hugs. That's wonderful that you got to top the weekend off with a free dinner and wine! I hope you had a great time.
    @holly321 I'm sorry that you've been feeling down as well. That's terrible about the bleeding and migraines. So is this AF coming back for you or some other type of bleeding? That's pretty cool that you might have a chance to get your boss' job, but I totally understand that stressing you out too.
    @acciocoffee You're not the only one. I burned through my test of Wondfos pretty quickly during my TWW. I'm so sorry for the BFNs.  :'(
    @eleven_ Ughhh I hate that you got a BFN too, especially after such a terrible few weeks for you. Sending so many hugs your way, as well. That's great that you were able to get some blood work done at your laboratory. Hope you get the results soon!
    @ChloandCoco I love your idea of planning something to keep you distracted. I need to start doing that. Where are you going on your getaway? Sounds fantastic!
    @zamora_spin I love love love your idea of writing dates on the tests so you (hopefully) don't use them too early. I'm totally going to try that!
    *TW*
    Me: 31 | DH: 33
    DD1: 8/2014  <3
    TTC #2: 6/2017
    BFP 8/3/2017 | CP 8/4
    BFP 10/16/2017 | CP 10/21
    BFP 12/18/2017 | CP 12/28
    BFP 2/15/2018 | EDD: November 2nd | It's a girl!
    DD2: 10/2018  <3
    ChloandCocoeleven_galactickates
  • Introduce yourself and anything you think is important: number of loss(es), when you had the loss(es), diagnosis / conditions surrounding loss, etc. 3 CPs in 2017.

    Status: WTO

    How are things going? What is something that you are struggling with this week? What is going well for you this week? R/R? It was kind of a crappy Monday with my RE testing. (No bad results, just anxious about my low AFC; I posted about it in the cs/q thread so I won't rehash it here. I always get nervous posting in the cs/q thread so hopefully my question wasn't stupid.) In addition, my sister is waiting on some results that are making us all anxious (in spoiler **TW-cancer**):

    My sister found a lump on her hip a month or two ago and got a biopsy 2 weeks ago. They tested her lymph nodes for lymphoma. The doctor called her today and asked to see her for an appointment tomorrow to go over the results. They had previously told her they would call her with the results, so she's very nervous now, understandably, and so am I!

    Any testing coming up/any recent results? Finally did the karyotype and RPL labs today, plus AMH. The nurse said it'll take 2 weeks to get it back, then I can schedule a follow-up to discuss all the results. I couldn't get a clear answer from my insurance on whether karyotyping was covered and Quest said it was $827.  :s So so hoping that at least part of it is covered... Especially since MH has to get it done too and I really don't want to pay $1,600 for it. 

    GTKY: What was your favourite new movie/movies that you saw in 2017 that you would recommend? The Greatest Showman for sure! I loved it. Coco was great too. I can't remember if I had any other favorite movies last year. 
    *TW*
    Me: 31 | DH: 33
    DD1: 8/2014  <3
    TTC #2: 6/2017
    BFP 8/3/2017 | CP 8/4
    BFP 10/16/2017 | CP 10/21
    BFP 12/18/2017 | CP 12/28
    BFP 2/15/2018 | EDD: November 2nd | It's a girl!
    DD2: 10/2018  <3
    eleven_holly321galactickates
  • I feel like I can never respond on mobile in TTCAL because I just have so much to say. @galactickates, again I'm so sorry. And @offtoneverland, I am hoping SO hard for some good news with your sister tomorrow. Cancer is the fucking worst. 

    Big hugs to you guys and anyone else who needs it today. Sounds like just about everyone  :(

    TW
    Me: 33 DH: 32
    DS:  March 2014
    DD: May 2015
    BFP: 12/24/17 CP: 1/2/18 @ 4w 3d
    BFP: 1/26/18 CP: 2/2/18 @ 4w 4d
    BFP: 5/16/18 MMC: 6/15/18 @ 7w 5d
    BFP: 9/25/18! EDD: 6/9/19 TEAM GREEN  <3 

    Babysizer Cravings Pregnancy Tracker
    offtoneverlanddpjennifergalactickates
  • @lokibear89 that picture was gorgeous. I legit thought it was part of advertising until I just went back and read your post.  Wow it looks beautiful and relaxing.  @offtoneverland I had no idea.  I really hope your sis gets good results.  Keep us updated.  So many hugs.  I can't even imagine what you and your family are going through having to wait. You know I'm always here for you. Xo
    Me:33 & DH:35 - Married 
    TTC 1 since Aug17
    BFP 1- 10/20 ended with EP Lap and left tube removed on 11/20 at 9 weeks.


    offtoneverland
  • @galactickates, I had similar issues with wondfos years ago.  Fortunately, I had a bad batch and knew they were not real, but haven't trusted them since.

    @offtoneverland, I haven't had a real period since June.  I have been having intermittent spotting/bleeding since November (and since bleeding is a big sign of choriocarcinoma, I take Hpts when it starts up).  Once, I went about a month with no bleeding so I thought it was AF, but it wasn't. I am now on Orthotricyclen, and I start the placebo pills Wednesday, so we will see what happens.  I am pretty confident that I am only taking one more pack, even though I am supposed to take 2.  I would stop now, but if I am honest with myself, DH and I are terrible about condom use and it isn't like a can track my cycle to know when we dont need them.
    *Big Hugs* about your sister.  I hope everything is ok with her.  
    As to karotyping, I hope it is covered for you.  My insurance tried to say they weren't going to pay it since we didn't get prior authorization and then they did.  I hope you get good results.
    @ChloandCoco, with the wedding being far enough away, I stand by my high waist and go up a size.

    Me: 30 DH:32

    DD 3/11  

    MMC 2/12

    DS 1/13

    TTC #3 since 2/17.  Malignant molar missed miscarriage 8/22/17

    offtoneverlandgalactickatesChloandCoco
  • Oh gosh @offtoneverland I hope your sister is okay, that’s so scary :(  
    Me: 32  H: 32
    Married: 4/5/13

    "You know that place between sleep and awake, 
    that place where you can still remember dreaming?
    That's where I will always love you.  
    That's where I'll be waiting."
    ~Peter Pan 

    *TW*
    BFP #1: 11/12/12  EDD 7/25/13 Baby boy: 7/27/13
    BFP #2: 10/29/17   MMC dx @ 9 weeks
    BFP #3: 2/2/18 MC 2/7/18
    BFP #4: 3/2/18  MC 3/9/18
    RPL testing and hysteroscopy: all normal
    BFP #5: 4/1/18 MMC dx @ 14 weeks ----> genetically normal girl  :'(
    Hysteroscopy to remove scar tissue 9/28
    BFP #6 11/5/18 EDD 7/20/19  <3  Rainbow baby girl born 7/23/19 
    offtoneverlandgalactickates
  • @holly321 i'm so sorry that you're having such a hard time, i think all of that ontop of eachother would just completely drain me *Big ol hugs*
    @acciocoffee the first cycle back is the hardest, i remember getting my period and just being in complete shock that i was ready to start trying again just like that and being so overwhelmed with it all. I recommend icecream and wine my friend
    @eleven_ Thank you s o much, i'm so sorry i meant the anniversary of his passing. I'm so sorry for your mum and i'm really glad that the meal went well, it's such a beautiful way to honor her. That's good that you get your testing for free, you might as well tick as many boxes as you can! And the Greatest Showman is on my list to watch, i saw the trailer and silently sobbed through it, i have no idea why it just spoke to me haha!
    @chloandcoco thank you, I think that keeping yourself moving through with little goals is such a good (yet difficult) thing to do and the weekend away sounds exactly what you guys need! This is just my opinion because i'm a bit obsessive but what i would do, and have done, is buy a dress that looks good on you now but is floaty and a bit longer than you would usually wear so that if you have a bump you'll look beautiful and if you don't you'll still look beautiful!
    @coco2787 i think that the TWW makes our brains do crazy things sometimes! I do love a good Disney movie though and i've heard great things about Coco. One kids movie i recently found is called Hoodwinked, it's about fairy tales and little red riding hood but it's just a different take on it, it's defo a kids movie but i thought it was great!
    @Galactickates i'm sorry about the dailies, i had to stop participating and only just lurk but sometimes i find them so triggering. Feel free to vent everything to us here!
    @zamora_spin Thank you for your kind words *hugs* It's difficult because for anyone else it's just buying things for a future baby but with us there are so many layers into why such a simple and exciting thing can be so difficult. Yes i forgot about Logan! It was so well done and i absolutely bawled my eyes out at the end!
    @lokibear yeah that just sounds odd, i don't have a clue! That walk looks absolutely beautiful and a lovely day for it too
    @offtoneverland i'm so sorry about your sister, please keep us updated and we're all here for you!
    offtoneverlandcoco2787eleven_galactickates
  • @galactickates oh i'm so sorry i completely missed this! I am so sorry that is so cruel i don't even know what to say *big ol hugs*
    galactickates
  • @zamora_spin sorry about all the BFNs for you too.  

    @lokibear89 that's so beautiful!  Sorry about the weird period, the 1st period after loss can be really unusual sometimes.

    @offtoneverland I hope you can get some help from the RE without breaking the bank.  It's such BS that fertility treatment is so expensive.


    Me: 32  H: 32
    Married: 4/5/13

    "You know that place between sleep and awake, 
    that place where you can still remember dreaming?
    That's where I will always love you.  
    That's where I'll be waiting."
    ~Peter Pan 

    *TW*
    BFP #1: 11/12/12  EDD 7/25/13 Baby boy: 7/27/13
    BFP #2: 10/29/17   MMC dx @ 9 weeks
    BFP #3: 2/2/18 MC 2/7/18
    BFP #4: 3/2/18  MC 3/9/18
    RPL testing and hysteroscopy: all normal
    BFP #5: 4/1/18 MMC dx @ 14 weeks ----> genetically normal girl  :'(
    Hysteroscopy to remove scar tissue 9/28
    BFP #6 11/5/18 EDD 7/20/19  <3  Rainbow baby girl born 7/23/19 
    offtoneverlandgalactickates
  • @galactickates That sucks. I'm sorry. I have heard a lot of people complain about Wondfo evaps but haven't really experienced them myself. I have had nasty indents on FRERs. Unfortunately there is no perfect test. This cycle isn't over yet, you never know, you could see those two lines again. 

    AFM Current mood: making an excel spreadsheet of IVF costs. So. Having a great f-ing morning. 
    Me: 37 | DH: 35 
    BFP #1 5/14/17 (EDD 1/24/18) MMC Confirmed 6/13/17
    BFP #2 8/12/17 ended in CP 8/20/17
    BFP #3 10/12/17, EDD 6/27/18, hCG drop and no fetal development at 6w, D&C 11/3/17
    BFP #4 4/21/18, EDD 1/3/19, mc due to Trisomy 22 after HB stopped at 8w 
    Sept 2018 ER - 15R, 10M, 10F, 9 blasts, 5 PGS normal
    Transfer of 1 PGS normal embryo leading to BFP #5, baby boy EDD 8/29/19 


    dpjenniferofftoneverlandgalactickatesYarnistaBride
  • @offtoneverland I'll be thinking of you and your sister today. I really hope it's good news.
    @zamora_spin That really sucks. I'm all for spreadsheets, but that one doesn't sound fun. 
    DD - August 2015
    TTC #2 - April 2017
    BFP May 13, 2017 - NMC June 5, 2017 (dx blighted ovum)
    BFP August 6, 2017- CP August 17, 2017
    BFP October 14, 2017 - NMC November 5, 2017
    BFP February 1, 2018 - CP February 3, 2018
    BFP May 25, 2018 - Due February 5, 2019


    offtoneverlandgalactickates
  • Introduce yourself and anything you think is important: number of loss(es), when you had the loss(es), diagnosis / conditions surrounding loss, etc. Unexplained RPL. 4 MCs.

    Status: CD 26. 4 DPO.

    How are things going? What is something that you are struggling with this week? What is going well for you this week? R/R? Can I just rant about my doctor’s office for a moment. My NP at my general practitioner has been amazingly supportive with getting me whatever I need over the past few years. However, when I went in on Friday for my normal checkup/followup visit, she was asking me how things were going on the fertility front. I said about the weight and the RE being a d*ck, and that we’re trying again and I really just either need a baby or need to get off this roller coaster. That I need an end to this, I just can't keep doing it anymore. She said “Why?” I stare at her dumbfounded like “Seriously!?!? WHY?!?! 4 dead babies aren’t enough? Over 2 ½ years of this path and all I’ve gotten out of it is depression, PTSD, and fat? And she responds with… I KID YOU NOT… “Well, you’re still young.” And I responded with “Well, my mother and grandmother had their parts taken out earlier than usual, and what’s the point of continuing this if all I’m going to end up with are DEAD babies.”  SERIOUSLY!?! Why don’t medical professionals GET this… for F’s sake. I’m a depressed psychopath she was seeing every few weeks… what the H3LL!?!? Anyway, rant over.

    GTKY: What was your favourite new movie/movies that you saw in 2017 that you would recommend? I also recommend The Greatest Showman!

    galactickates  Right on! I DO take crazy pills… ok, mood elevators… but the point is, TTCAL is a roller coaster of crazy! And ooohh… John Wick 2, I forgot that was in 2017!

    lokibear89 Wow, that is beautiful! Glad you had a good weekend with the visiting, but sorry about the crazy period.

    offtoneverland I hope they do cover more of the testing! If not, maybe you can call and see if you can get it lowered as if you are underinsured/uninsured? Are you/have you done the Counsyl Test? If that won’t be covered, there was a site you can go to that would lower the cost if your insurance won’t cover it.

    zamora_spin Ugh, I both want to see this spreadsheet (you know, for knowledge), and have no interest in it (since DH won’t consider IVF and it would just make me depressed).

    Love GIF

    Me: 34    DH: 38

    MC #1: D&C Oct 23, 2015 (7.5 weeks)
    Married: Nov. 7, 2015
    MC #2: July 1, 2016 (5.5 weeks) 
    MC #3: October 17, 2016 (CP)
    RPL testing November 2016-January 2017
    MC #4: Feb. 28, 2017 (CP)
    Additional RPL testing March-November 2017
    Possibly giving up because I just can't even anymore...
    #BitterHagPartyOf1

    BFP 1/16/2019  
    HCG blood qualitative test - between 5 and 25... FML...

    fuck my life GIF

    offtoneverlandgalactickates
  • @dpjennifer The biggest thing I'm trying to figure out is whether we want to ask to be in the guarantee program. Initially the financial people said we couldn't do it based on my diagnosis, then my RE said maybe, basically she and her partner would consider it if we want to go that way. There is some criticism on these programs - since they require you to transfer all healthy embryos before doing another cycle you could end up "overpaying" for one cycle of IVF if you are successful on your first transfer. On the other hand I don't think we will feel we have overpaid for a baby if we get a baby, even if that means we will probably not be able to have a second one if we don't have any "extra" embryos to bank. I know YH is not into spending the $ on IVF. I hate to think of it getting to this point because I hope you will be ku soon with a beautiful rainbow baby, but if the costs were much less, would YH consider embryo adoption? That certainly wouldn't be a lock that it would work, but I understand the costs are in most cases are considerably less than traditional IVF and adoption. 
    Me: 37 | DH: 35 
    BFP #1 5/14/17 (EDD 1/24/18) MMC Confirmed 6/13/17
    BFP #2 8/12/17 ended in CP 8/20/17
    BFP #3 10/12/17, EDD 6/27/18, hCG drop and no fetal development at 6w, D&C 11/3/17
    BFP #4 4/21/18, EDD 1/3/19, mc due to Trisomy 22 after HB stopped at 8w 
    Sept 2018 ER - 15R, 10M, 10F, 9 blasts, 5 PGS normal
    Transfer of 1 PGS normal embryo leading to BFP #5, baby boy EDD 8/29/19 


  • zamora_spin Apparently DH doesn't want to do IVF or adoption because he doesn't care if he has kids or not. I want the kids, and since his wife wants them, he figured we would have them. We never figured it would be THIS much heartbreak and drama to attempt to have a baby. So, it's the expense and the 'work' to do it. And I mean, I'll be 34 in a few months, but DH is now pushing 40.
    It's just so depressing because I wanted to originally start trying to have kids around 25, life got involved, and here I am, a depressed crazy person with no babies, and apparently NOTHING is wrong with me. *sigh* And the more and more likely it looks like I will never have a baby, the more depressing and desperate TTCAL becomes.
    The share program is great... and unless you happen to hit it lucky on the first go, it's well worth the $, right?

    Love GIF

    Me: 34    DH: 38

    MC #1: D&C Oct 23, 2015 (7.5 weeks)
    Married: Nov. 7, 2015
    MC #2: July 1, 2016 (5.5 weeks) 
    MC #3: October 17, 2016 (CP)
    RPL testing November 2016-January 2017
    MC #4: Feb. 28, 2017 (CP)
    Additional RPL testing March-November 2017
    Possibly giving up because I just can't even anymore...
    #BitterHagPartyOf1

    BFP 1/16/2019  
    HCG blood qualitative test - between 5 and 25... FML...

    fuck my life GIF

  • I'm sorry @zamora_spin, hugs.

    @dpjennifer I'm sorry you and your H aren't on the same page about having kids.  That would be really hard for me to reconcile.  
    Me: 32  H: 32
    Married: 4/5/13

    "You know that place between sleep and awake, 
    that place where you can still remember dreaming?
    That's where I will always love you.  
    That's where I'll be waiting."
    ~Peter Pan 

    *TW*
    BFP #1: 11/12/12  EDD 7/25/13 Baby boy: 7/27/13
    BFP #2: 10/29/17   MMC dx @ 9 weeks
    BFP #3: 2/2/18 MC 2/7/18
    BFP #4: 3/2/18  MC 3/9/18
    RPL testing and hysteroscopy: all normal
    BFP #5: 4/1/18 MMC dx @ 14 weeks ----> genetically normal girl  :'(
    Hysteroscopy to remove scar tissue 9/28
    BFP #6 11/5/18 EDD 7/20/19  <3  Rainbow baby girl born 7/23/19 
    dpjennifergalactickates
  • @CraftyG I’m sorry anniversary’s are hard. Hugs 
    @holly321 I hope you feel better soon, Good Luck on getting the promotion 
    @ChloandCoco Good Luck with the dress delima, I unfortunately have no advice to offer :/
     @galactickates I’m so sorry that is so hard 
    @lokibear89 GORGEOUS!
    @offtoneverland I hope everything is fine with your sis 
    @dpjennifer I’m sorry the nurse said that, so insensitive...also sorry about DH :( 

    Introduce yourself and anything you think is important: number of loss(es), when you had the loss(es), diagnosis / conditions surrounding loss, etc.]

    2 early losses 8/17, 1/18

    Status: Technically i'm still benched awaiting first AF but we're taking a break, probably until May or so. I hope you guys don't mind me still hanging out here.

    How are things going? What is something that you are struggling with this week? What is going well for you this week? R/R? Pretty okay I guess. Grief is a funny thing(not haha funny). I've been doing pretty good the past week and felt like I was moving along, then Sunday I walked into church and took DS to his class and the leader there gave me a hug and that just brought in a flood of emotions. Then I ran into a friends off/on again wife and she saw me crying and that just made things worse. UGH I had been doing so well I didn't prepare myself for the day. *tw kids* Then just yesterday DS was asking about the stones on my necklace(my remembrance stones) I told him they were birthstones and he responded oh for the baby that was in mommies belly. That was not an easy thing to hear from a three year old. end TW** RAVE: I'm finally feeling well enough to start working out again, so hopefully that will help with my winter time blues that are not making any of this easier. 

    Any testing coming up/any recent results? Nothing until end of Feb

    GTKY: What was your favourite new movie/movies that you saw in 2017 that you would recommend?
    Gosh um I really liked Guardians 2 and Star Wars. I thought Thor was pretty good as well. Oh and I really really enjoyed Beauty and the Beast. 
    Me: 35 DH: 47

    HX
    DSS: 20
    DSD: 17
    DS: 4(Nov'14)
    MMC:8/17
    MMC: 1/18
    BFP: 2/7/19 EDD:10/16/19

    Tickers
    BabyGaga
    Babysizer Cravings Pregnancy Tracker


    offtoneverlanddpjennifergalactickatesholly321
  • @lokibear89 That picture is beautiful! I'm so sorry about the scare with the weird retained item you found. That must have been quite the shock. FX it doesn't happen again!
    @zamora_spin I'm sorry your morning started off with you having to think about IVF costs. I'm trying to remember what you said about your timeline for starting IVF...are you going to try for one more cycle on your own then give IVF with PGS a go? I'm so hopeful you won't end up needing IVF, friend. 
    @dpjennifer Oh my gosh. I can't believe she said that to you. Like being young makes things any better or numbs the pain of your losses. I am so so sorry. It's such a roller coaster and it's so horrible, so I understand your feeling of needing to just get off of it for your sanity. I'm so sorry that YH is not willing to think about IVF. Do you think there's a chance he'd change his mind if you both actually had to make the decision to either do IVF or not have kids? Maybe right now he's just not ready to think about it? I don't think we're going to do the Counsyl testing yet. I found out my insurance will not be covering the karyotype test, so I don't want to spend a boat load of money yet.
    @coco2787 That's so sweet of your coworker to reach out to you and give you some comfort.  <3
    @kindbytealikat Of course you can hang out here until you're ready to TTC again. That happens to me too with grief. I'll feel fine for a while and then suddenly will just get a sad feeling out of nowhere. It's so hard. What kind of exercise do you like to do? Hopefully it helps shake off some of the depression that comes with the winter.

    AFM: Thanks everyone for the good thoughts for my sister. She is fine! I'm so relieved. The doctor apologized for freaking her out, but really...they should have known she would get scared! I also found out that my insurance won't cover karyotyping because it's "experimental." What?! I'm not sure why it's considered experimental. So I talked to my nurse and she said it's fine if just I get it done for now. I want to wait to see how it's billed (perhaps they'll cover at least a little bit of it?) and then we can get MH's done. It's hard thinking about spending $1,600 to get it done when the RE thought it was likely that there's nothing wrong with me anyways. My insurance gave me some websites and said it could possibly be billed differently to have it covered, or I could submit an appeal. So I'll have to start looking into all of that to see. 
    *TW*
    Me: 31 | DH: 33
    DD1: 8/2014  <3
    TTC #2: 6/2017
    BFP 8/3/2017 | CP 8/4
    BFP 10/16/2017 | CP 10/21
    BFP 12/18/2017 | CP 12/28
    BFP 2/15/2018 | EDD: November 2nd | It's a girl!
    DD2: 10/2018  <3
    zamora_spinjosie12367coco2787galactickates
  • @offtoneverland Oh I’m so relieved to hear about your sister! As for the karyotyping- see if you can find out if the company lets you pay less OOP. I won’t even tell you what Natera bilked us but we ended up paying a few hundred bucks. When you get the bill don’t just pay it - call them. They may require that your insurance deny your claim to give a lower price. Not sure if all company’s work this way but it’s worth a try. AFM DH and I have agreed to try on our own into April and do IVF in June if I don’t get ku/or if I have another loss. Timing wise we won’t have the money together until April and we will need to redo some of my testing and gear up for everything over 4-6 weeks. So. Three more cycles at most. It seems far away but also closer and closer. 
    Me: 37 | DH: 35 
    BFP #1 5/14/17 (EDD 1/24/18) MMC Confirmed 6/13/17
    BFP #2 8/12/17 ended in CP 8/20/17
    BFP #3 10/12/17, EDD 6/27/18, hCG drop and no fetal development at 6w, D&C 11/3/17
    BFP #4 4/21/18, EDD 1/3/19, mc due to Trisomy 22 after HB stopped at 8w 
    Sept 2018 ER - 15R, 10M, 10F, 9 blasts, 5 PGS normal
    Transfer of 1 PGS normal embryo leading to BFP #5, baby boy EDD 8/29/19 


    offtoneverlanddpjennifergalactickates
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