Answering questions after miscarriage

cass_wonderful

This was my first pregnancy and first miscarriage. I was 15 weeks when the pregnancy no longer showed on the ultrasound. I waited 13 weeks to tell everyone. Now I have to spread the news of the end... Everyone that I have told this far as ask "well what happened?" Or "why?" I don't know the answer neither does my midwife and I don't think it matters. I just tell them about how I found out. I don't know how else to make them stop asking. What have you ladies found has worked? I find myself losing patience and tact. I'd just like to know I'm not alone in this.

kathrenne

I usually broadcast a message in whatever platform I have that runs along the lines of, I know you all are concerned and I appreciate that, but please respect my need for privacy at this difficult time."

I would like to help you try to figure out what happened if at all possible, because the vast majority of my losses never had a cause determined, and it really did suck.

If you don't mind me asking (feel free not to answer), when you say that the baby was no longer on ultrasound at 15 weeks, were there other ultrasounds? What did each one show? 

40momma

Maybe start the conversation with 'we have no idea why or how this happened, but I had a miscarriage'. I think it's also important to share that it's extremely common and often we never know why. I think so many people have no idea how common it is. I think the more you tell your friends, you'll find more and more women who have gone through something similar.