Miscarriage/Pregnancy Loss

2 weeks in limbo

Went in yesterday for our 2nd appointment at 12 weeks +1 and the doctor couldn’t find a heartbeat. She had us go in for a full ultrasound and the tech saw the same thing. The doctor told me because of guidelines we now have to wait TWO WEEKS and then go back in to confirm the loss because I never had an official first ultrasound, just the NP taking a peek, where we did see a heartbeat. 

So that means two weeks basically in limbo even though I know the baby is gone. Then if it hasn’t happened naturally by then I’ll have to choose between a d&c or taking pills at home. I don’t know which sounds worse. Feeling awfully sad and lost right now. And frustrated at having to drag this out. Has anyone else been through this?

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Pregnancy Ticker

Re: 2 weeks in limbo

  • That is absolutely ridiculous. I'm so sorry for your loss. Can you call someone else and get another opinion? I don't think it is good to have a fetal demise inside you for that long. I had that happen and found out 4 weeks later and had all sorts of complications as a result. I'm not trying to scare you, but you should see if you can go somewhere else. 

    What state are you in? What guideline does this relate to?
  • @julesf817 I’m so sorry for your loss.  I’ve had 3 MC and I’ve never heard of waiting 2 weeks.  With my first loss, I went in at 10wks for US and no heartbeat that was first US. It was a Friday and I had D & C the following Tuesday.  So just a few days in between. With my 2nd and 3rd loss I waited a week in between but only bc my first US was at 6wks so they waited a week to see if growth in case dates were off. Unfortunately no growth with either so I elected to have d &c again.  For me, I just needed to get it over with so I could move forward.  For me, d & c was quick and painless.  Procedure is about 20 minutes and was under anesthesia.  I bled for a month with my first one and only about a week with the next two.  Not sure if that’s bc the later ones I was only measuring at 5w and some days.   Either way I resumed to most of my activities the next day.  I took it easy with working out for a couple of weeks But everything else was back to “normal” physically.  Emotionally different story.  Takes a few weeks for hormones to level back out so that also effects emotions.  I hope this helps.   I would def week a 2nd opinion.  Again I’m so sorry.  Take care of yourself 
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  • Thank you both. I’m located in MA. They called back this afternoon and told me that after having the high risk specialist take a look they have enough information to call it a loss. They’ve scheduled me for the d&c on Tuesday morning. They gave me the option to have another ultrasound in a week but I don’t think there is any point. Even if my dates were a month off, which wouldn’t really even be possible, there’d still be a heartbeat at this point. 

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    Pregnancy Ticker
  • @julesf817 I’m glad they called back.  I think it would be very difficult to go 2 weeks.  One week is too long.  I hope all goes well with your d & c Tuesday and that you have a speedy recovery both physically and emotionally 
  • My First loss I went in at like 6.5 weeks (They had 7.5 weeks since my last MP, so their dating was wrong). They said the sac was measuring only 5.5 weeks... so they made me wait a week to come back and see if there was any growth and a heartbeat. But when I went back it hadn't grown and was clear it was gone. THey were concerned it was a molar PG, so I had a D&C 2 days later.  I'm glad they had a specialist look at the scans and that they've got you scheduled for a D&C!

    MC #1: D&C Oct 23, 2015 (7.5 weeks)
    MC #2: July 1, 2016 (5.5 weeks)
    MC #3: October 17, 2016 (CP)
    RE #1: RPL testing November 2016-January 2017
    MC #4: Feb. 28, 2017 (CP)
    RE #2: Additional RPL testing March-November 2017
    MC #5: January 2019 (6.5 weeks)

    RE #3: More testing 2023. 
    Egg Retrieval Sept/Oct 2023, 2 good embryos after PGT-A testing.
    Surgery for endometriosis January 2024
    Lupron Depo March 2024.  Benched 3 months.  Hopefully FET after that.

    #BitterHagPartyOf1

  • I am sorry for your loss, but I am glad you got confirmation and scheduled the d&c. I personally, think having a d&c is emotionally easier.  After my last loss, I waited 2 weeks, knowing the baby was gone and it just didn't happen naturally (most likely because my loss was molar). 



    But, I would like to add (mainly for anyone else looking for answers or advice), waiting 2 weeks isn't necessarily a bad rule, but a lot of factors  should come in to play.  With my recent loss, at 7 weeks, there was no heartbeat, and I was told to come back in 1 week, but my doctor said he may not be able to confirm for another week after that, but didn't like to make me wait 2  weeks knowing nothinflg.  My uterus is tilted and they could not get a good view, so there was still some hope. The week I waited, I read so many stories of women being told that they had a blighted ovum, then 1 or 2 weeks later there was a perfectly developing baby.  They had been advised to end the pregnancy, but chose to wait.  Unfortunately, at my 8 week ultrasound, my sac had shrunk and became misshapen, so it was undoubtedly a loss. 

    But to argue against the 2 weeks rule for all women, at my 14 week ultrasound with my first loss, the baby had developed to 9 weeks and the heartbeat had stopped, obviously, in 2 weeks there would be no difference.  
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