Unvaccinated children coming around a newborn

jlynnlong

My brother and his wife have decided to not vaccinate any of their 3 children. I am nervous about having them around my baby once he is born. I know newborns can't get all of the vaccines needed right away so he won't be fully protected. I don't want to be rude or mean, but I'm not comfortable with the idea of them being around him until my baby is older and has been able to get the necessary vaccines. Am I being too overprotective?? 

crizz13

Nope. I would say no. Vaccines are a non negotiable for me. Especially if the children go to daycare/school.

bainidhedub

NOPE. Nothing wrong with not allowing their kids around yours, and telling them why too. You really do not want to deal with a newborn getting sick, even if it turns out not to be a serious or vaccine-preventable illness.

When DS was about 5 weeks old he got a fever. Because he had no other symptoms - ear infection, cold, etc. - we were sent directly from the pedi's office to the ER. They did blood draws, urine culture, and a spinal tap. Babies who have not had their 2-month shots yet are vulnerable to a common bacteria that is (/was prior to the vaccine) the most common cause of meningitis, so they take serious precautions. He was admitted for 48 hours of observation and IV antibiotics, until the results of the spinal tap came back clear.

kelk5

No. I won't allow unvaccinated children around my baby. The risk is too great. 

supercoolstephy

Nope. Nope. Nope. Keep your unvaccinated kids away from mine. Not you specifically, obviously, this is the thoughts that come through my head. 

When we had DS he was able to get his shots at 6 weeks and then a few days later we travelled to CA where we stayed with my dad who didn’t bother to tell us that he had a horrible cold and waited 3 days while we were there before he went to urgent care to take care of it. I was so pissed at him because DS got his first upper respiratory infection the day before we left and was on amoxicillin for the first time at 6 weeks. I’m just forever thankful that we were able to get his first round of vaccines in before we traveled because it could have been so much worse. 

Edit: words are hard when you have autocorrect on your phone. 

KatieEl

You're definitely not being mean, I agree with everyone else: keep your unvaccinated kids away from me and mine!

chiknnuggetrubin

I would prefer to send antivaxers to an island colony far from the rest of us (maybe we can build a wall around it) so I'd say you're being reasonable. 

cupcakebugx3

I agree with you!!! I understand that they have a right to not vaccinate their children but that means you have the right to ask them not to bring their children around your new baby. 

IrishPiratess

They made their choice. You need to make yours. Nothing more, nothing less. 

YarnistaBride

Don't worry about their feelings, they aren't going to be the terrified parent if something happens to your newborn. Their kids can just wait until your kid has all their shots before they meet, if they give you any issues ask if they will pay the hospital bills if anything happens to your kid. I find that when you ask people if they will pay for the consequences of whatever they are trying to get you to do they usually back down pretty quickly. 

JuliaGoolia719

I would just make sure they know well beforehand that until your LO has his vaccines you aren't comfortable with him/her being around their kids.  Some of our good friends waited almost 9 months to introduce their oldest to her cousins bc they weren't vaccinated and kept getting sick with things that were contagious.  If it had been up to the dad (moms side of the family w the unvaccinated kids) it would have been longer, but he just basically held her the whole time and didn't let them touch her.....

sbishop426

Um noppppe. 

I actually may need to have this conversation id my brother and SIL want to visit as they have chosen not to vaccinate their 1 yr old (smh).. I am definitely not okay with having them around my newborn and toddler because of their carelessness until this LO gets his vaccinations. 

SIL has bought into the idea that vaccines cause autism and a bunch of other nonsense. 

conineml

@sbishop426 I'm pro vaccine and won't change, but I feel like it is everyone's choice and as long as they make informed (factual) decisions I can get on board with their choice.  Not that I will agree with it or not put precautions in place for myself or my children, but I will respect their decision if they took the time and effort to educate themselves on it.  ANYONE that chooses to not vaccinate because they fear they will cause autism is sadly not researching, choosing to read false information, or just jumping on a bandwagon.  The link to autism was based on falsified data and research and has been retracted, the researchers license was revoked, and it has been disproven by numerous other studies.  On top of the fact, that the ingredient that Dr. Wakefield pin pointed as the cause has since been removed from the vaccines because it was unnecessary (it was a preservative to allow vaccines to sit on the shelf in a drs office for longer)

Clearly I feel strongly about this one!  So sorry for the rant...which could be extremely longer...well save that for later.  

kelk5

@conineml totally love your rant and one I frequently make myself. Wakefield's medical license was revoked in the UK. Unfortunately, he is still licensed in the US and is in Austin, TX. Still fear mongering. Have you read Autism's False Prophets? Such a good book. 

witchwai

I’m pro vax but ageee to each his own as long as they do their research and totally agree it’s your right as Mom not to let anyone around your kid for any reason. Curious though everyones opinion on if they’re fully vaccinated on all the “big” stuff but choose not to do the yearly flu vaccine? I mean, do you ask everyone?? Personally we don’t do flu every year (we of course all did this one) but if they’re not sick and don’t have a flu shot, what do you guys think? 

Cricket99

@witchwai I’m ok with people not getting the flu shot as long as they have the big stuff. For me, I ask adults who have any cold/flu like symptoms to keep away. I personally don’t get the flu shot for a variety of reasons, both personal and research based. I feel like if I don’t get the flu shot, I have no right to demand that people who want to see baby do. I just ask that they be extra cautious with any kind of feeling sick and always wash their hands first.

conineml

@kelk5 no I haven't read that!  I must add it! I also kinda want to read Jenny McCarthy's book about her son's autism journey and her thoughts on the vaccines just for giggles and for craziness but then I would feel weird carrying it around like people think I think that way!  I'm not sure I could.  Anyway her pregnancy book, Belly Laughs, is absolutely hilarious and worth the read!  I read it first tri and just kept thinking 'This is my life' 

@witchwai as stated before I'm pro vax, but I don't do the flu shot and here's why...it's not really what I would consider a vaccine because it doesn't necessarily prevent the flu, it normally just lessens symptoms.  Also, it changes every year so it's not tested or regulated as much as the normal vaccines that are proven and have a high efficacy rate.  My main reason though is they guess each year at what strains they think will show up that year during flu season so it is only as protective as their guesses are good.  Clearly, it has failed miserably the last few years.  I think I saw this year it has a 10% effective rate...just not worth it to me.  Plus, the flu is not a life-threatening illness (IMO I know there are cases where it is, but personally I am not a high risk) it will just be an annoyance if you get it.  Polio, mumps, smallpox, etc on the other hand...different story and LOTS of research into the vaccine and the diseases themselves.

burnsmommy27

I'm allergic to the flu shot @witchwai so it's not an option for myself. DH and DD did get a flu shot and DD is on the regular vaccination schedule as will be this LO.
Unfortunately the flu shot only covers a small percentage of the flu strains out there. So o still think you have to be extra vigilant this time of year with a little baby.
If anyone is even remotely sick they won't be seeing the new LO until all better.

missblaze

@conineml I just want to point out that the flu IS life threatening to babies. While it may just be an annoyance for you, it is very dangerous to a newborn. 

bainidhedub

Agreed, I was told by the doctors not to let people without their flu and current Tdap shots around the baby initially.

conineml

@missblaze yes I'm on board with that for sure and was considering one this year for that reason, but when they said it only had a 10% effective rate...it's just not worth it to me.  If it had a higher effective rate I would be getting one and being more vigilant about visitors getting theirs as well, but I don't see pushing for it now.  

missblaze

@conineml The 10% effectiveness is not totally accurate - it's only about 10% effective against one of the most common strains this year - H3N2. However, it is still effective against other strains. Just wanted to pass on the info!

kelk5

I'm not letting anyone who hasn't had their flu shot be around LO or hold her. It's too risky if she gets it. My work requires it and DH's work had it at work for everyone to easily get. So most of our friends have it and all of our family has gotten it. But I'll be asking if someone wants to come over to meet LO to make sure. If they say no then I'll decline and tell them they may meet her after they get their flu shot or after she is old enough to get hers.

EmilyLove25

Y'all just chiming in here that it is so like out Bump Group to just politely answer this question and then talk amongst ourselves with no reaction/response from OP. Even in the third trimester, politeness reigns lol! 

conineml

@EmilyLove25 gotta keep it classy even in the third trimester!