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TTCAL week of 12/11

dpjenniferdpjennifer member
in Trying to Get Pregnant

This is a general trigger warning that CP, miscarriage / spontaneous abortion, selective abortion due to medical complications, and / or stillbirth may be mentioned.** 

Introduce yourself and anything you think is important: number of loss(es), when you had the loss(es), diagnosis / conditions surrounding loss, etc.

Status:

How are things going? What is something that you are struggling with this week? What is going well for you this week? R/R?

Any testing coming up/any recent results?

GTKY: What favorite holiday present do you remember most from when you were a child?

MC #1: D&C Oct 23, 2015 (7.5 weeks)
MC #2: July 1, 2016 (5.5 weeks)
MC #3: October 17, 2016 (CP)
RE #1: RPL testing November 2016-January 2017
MC #4: Feb. 28, 2017 (CP)
RE #2: Additional RPL testing March-November 2017
MC #5: January 2019 (6.5 weeks)

RE #3: More testing 2023. 
Egg Retrieval Sept/Oct 2023, 2 good embryos after PGT-A testing.
Surgery for endometriosis January 2024
Lupron Depo March 2024.  Benched 3 months.  Hopefully FET after that.

#BitterHagPartyOf1

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Re: TTCAL week of 12/11

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    dpjenniferdpjennifer member
    starla I was benched while waiting for a slew of other tests. Off the bench this cycle!  

    ChloandCoco  Mmm... cookie exchange... :)

    MC #1: D&C Oct 23, 2015 (7.5 weeks)
    MC #2: July 1, 2016 (5.5 weeks)
    MC #3: October 17, 2016 (CP)
    RE #1: RPL testing November 2016-January 2017
    MC #4: Feb. 28, 2017 (CP)
    RE #2: Additional RPL testing March-November 2017
    MC #5: January 2019 (6.5 weeks)

    RE #3: More testing 2023. 
    Egg Retrieval Sept/Oct 2023, 2 good embryos after PGT-A testing.
    Surgery for endometriosis January 2024
    Lupron Depo March 2024.  Benched 3 months.  Hopefully FET after that.

    #BitterHagPartyOf1

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    starlastarla member
    @ChloandCoco The biopsy was to test for imflammation and other stuff. The ureaplasma can be just a cervical swab. 

    @dpjennifer Do you mind me asking what other tests they did? I just want to compare notes. 
    Me: 34 | DH: 33
    Married Aug. 2013
    TTC #1 Sep. 2016
    ***TW***
    BFP Jan. 15, 2017; MMC Mar. 4, 2017 at 10w6d
    BFP Jun. 5, 2017; MMC Aug. 2, 2017 at 11w6d
    BFP Nov. 20, 2017; ended in CP
    All the tests. Everything normal except treated for ureaplasma and DH potentially has high DNAF.
    BFP Dec. 25, 2017; EDD Sep. 5, 2018; DD arrived Aug. 26th
    My chart: https://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/63f71d


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    holly321holly321 member
    @dpjennifer, I am sorry you had a rough night last night.  *Hugs*. FX for your culture!  And again, congratulations for being unbenched!
    @starla, good luck with your blood work! 
    @ChloandCoco, I hope AF shows up soon for you.  And i loved Spyro!

    Mobile is acting weird will tag more later!
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    ChloandCocoChloandCoco member
    @starla Thanks for clarifying that up! 
    @dragonette505 I'm sorry you are joining this group and limbo really sucks. Are you meeting up with an OB or RE to see what to do next?
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    holly321holly321 member
    edited December 2017
    @acciocoffee, I am sorry for you loss, and hopefully.  That's great you have stopped bleeding, hopefully your body regulates quickly and AF shows soon.
    @galactickates, I am glad to see you are doing better.  It is the worst feeling like you are sitting around waiting.  I always need some sort of goal in life.  
    @dragonette505, I am sorry you have to be part of this group, but welcome.  I hope you get answers soon about the septum uterus and hope that the treatment goes smoothly 
    @arati1986, I am sorry it is had to see the kids on the cards.  We moved and no one knows our address so we don't have to see everyone's babies, so no silver lining I didn't think of. I too am working on self care, when I am up to it.  It makes me feel like o am actually doing something.
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    starlastarla member
    @coco2787 Ugh I'm so sorry. That's a very similar situation to what I had with my first MMC, but I didn't find out until 11 weeks. I'm so sorry you find yourself here. I hope the D&C is over quickly and you're cleared to TTC again soon. Hugs!
    Me: 34 | DH: 33
    Married Aug. 2013
    TTC #1 Sep. 2016
    ***TW***
    BFP Jan. 15, 2017; MMC Mar. 4, 2017 at 10w6d
    BFP Jun. 5, 2017; MMC Aug. 2, 2017 at 11w6d
    BFP Nov. 20, 2017; ended in CP
    All the tests. Everything normal except treated for ureaplasma and DH potentially has high DNAF.
    BFP Dec. 25, 2017; EDD Sep. 5, 2018; DD arrived Aug. 26th
    My chart: https://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/63f71d


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    SkilledSailorSkilledSailor member
    *lurking* although is it lurking if I could be a part of the thread?

    anyway, hi @dragonette505 I’ve missed you around these boards! I lurk the IF board a bit. Sorry you’ve been having such a tough go of it. *hugs* 
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    starlastarla member
    @dpjennifer Thanks. Those are basically the same tests I'm having except sono instead of HSG right off the bat and no tests for Vitamin D that I'm aware of. I've only had 2 losses and a CP, but I get your point. If we try this cycle I would be due early Sept and DH is fine with trying. I most likely wouldn't go to the wedding unless the baby came a bit earlier and was approved to fly by a doctor. This is one of DH's best friends so there's no way he's missing the wedding. He's the best man. He doesn't want to try next cycle because I would be due early Oct and he says we would both be stressed out if I was about to have a baby and he went away even for a couple days. So I don't really have a choice in the matter. The wedding is nonnegotiable and I'm OK with that. I'm just bummed that we would have to skip a cycle, which puts more pressure on this cycle if you know what I mean. 
    Me: 34 | DH: 33
    Married Aug. 2013
    TTC #1 Sep. 2016
    ***TW***
    BFP Jan. 15, 2017; MMC Mar. 4, 2017 at 10w6d
    BFP Jun. 5, 2017; MMC Aug. 2, 2017 at 11w6d
    BFP Nov. 20, 2017; ended in CP
    All the tests. Everything normal except treated for ureaplasma and DH potentially has high DNAF.
    BFP Dec. 25, 2017; EDD Sep. 5, 2018; DD arrived Aug. 26th
    My chart: https://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/63f71d


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    dpjenniferdpjennifer member
    offtoneverland Yes I do! Although it's packed in a box somewhere waiting on possible future children to give it to. *sigh* DH is definitely great about my feelings and awesome with working with my emotions... just not so good on the BD end of things.

    starla I absolutely understand the pressure! So stressful with RPL to try and 'plan' out life and knowing if you got PG at certain times it would make things more difficult, but not wanting to miss a month! Ugh. I've just gotten to the point of screw everyone else, I'm putting my needs first in this. I mean, I get what DH is saying, but what if you don't get PG until July and then have a MC when he's supposed to be going to the wedding. That's difficult to work through as well. I guess you just can't be certain with life... (Sorry if I'm all negative today. I'm all stressed and have a stupid long useless training meeting to attend for most of my work day. Ugh).

    MC #1: D&C Oct 23, 2015 (7.5 weeks)
    MC #2: July 1, 2016 (5.5 weeks)
    MC #3: October 17, 2016 (CP)
    RE #1: RPL testing November 2016-January 2017
    MC #4: Feb. 28, 2017 (CP)
    RE #2: Additional RPL testing March-November 2017
    MC #5: January 2019 (6.5 weeks)

    RE #3: More testing 2023. 
    Egg Retrieval Sept/Oct 2023, 2 good embryos after PGT-A testing.
    Surgery for endometriosis January 2024
    Lupron Depo March 2024.  Benched 3 months.  Hopefully FET after that.

    #BitterHagPartyOf1

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    meatballs37meatballs37 member
    @dpjennifer I hope your culture comes back negative so you can relax through the holidays a little more. 

    @holly321 I’m so glad to hear you graduated from the oncologist! Do they still want to see you yearly? 

    @dragonette505 I’m so sorry for your losses :( 

    @arati1986 I am so sorry for your losses. I totally get not wanting to see everyone either their happy Christmas cards this year. We struggled if we even wanted to send any out. *hugs*

    @coco2787 so sorry you have ended up back here. 
    :( I definitely know the feeling that is doesn’t seem real. Be kind to yourself and rest. Do you have someone who will be home with you tomorrow? 
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    zamoraspinzamoraspin member
    @dpjennifer I'm excited for you to be off the bench, I know it's also nerve wracking. I'm sorry for how terrible ttc and loss has been to you. I am thinking about you and hoping so hard for you. 
    @starla Hope the bw went ok, I know at my first appt they took 17 vials of blood (it happened to be 7dpo the day we went in so all the autoimmune plus some other stuff). I did get tested for vitamin D (but there were so many tests I don't think I noticed it on the list the RE gave me if it was there initially, it may have just had categories of the types of tests and then the results were several pages long. I had a slight vitamin D insufficiency (you're supposed to be like 30-80 and mine was 28) so I take Vitamin D now. That and the MTHFR variation were the only things we've found that were not "normal" for me. DH has still not had an SA, my RE keeps saying he doesn't need it (but he did have karyotyping done) although most ladies I know here who've done RPL testing have had their H's sperm tested. On the male side, from what I've read, DNAF (fragmentation) is the only thing that is associated with loss other than straight up genetic issues but I'd be curious to know if others have heard anything different.  I've also read some things that are critical of DNAF as a cause of RPL. 
    @holly321 Glad you have graduated to the OBGYN. I hope it is all smooth sailing from here for you. 
    @dragonette505 Hey lady, haven't seen you in a while (probably have just been hanging on different boards). I'm sorry you are in limbo and about the possible septum. Do they think it is operable? Is that what you're waiting for? Hugs to you. 
    @CraftyG Brownie is such a quintessential teddy bear name. 
    @offtoneverland Fx this is your cycle. I know how much of a rollercoaster it is to be waiting because that BFP comes with so much baggage even when you get it. I have come to think of it as the four week wait because at this point I don't think I'll start to feel like I am ku until the first u/s. 
    @meatballs37 I can't pretend to know all the depths of the pain you are feeling but I do know it is so hard to be triggered. I don't think I even really understood what that word meant until I experienced being triggered and losing it over details. Right now all you need to do is survive this. You are doing amazing.  I hope your first pp period is not too terrible. 
    @galactickates I'm glad you are feeling a little more centered. My first loss I struggled a lot the first few weeks and genuinely was not myself. I think in addition to the grief the hormones leaving my body were really difficult. They say some women even experience a type of ppd after a loss, and looking back I think maybe I did. The grief never goes away but it does get less intense and less frequent over time. Hoping AF shows up for you soon, I know it's hard to be waiting. 
    @ChloandCoco I'm glad the parties weren't as bad as you thought. Man, AF is a real B. I literally had the same thing happen before my HSG - I was tracking and I was two days late and I swear it was just my body trying to stick it to me. 
    @acciocoffee I haven't liked being benched but I did find myself somewhat relieved after O to not have to worry about testing or wondering if I was ku. Sounds like it has been good for you to take a break. 
    @coco2787 I'm sorry for your loss. Mmc is very scary, I didn't know what it was until I had one, and now I doubt I'll ever be totally secure in a pregnancy. I hope your d&c goes smoothly. Will they do testing on the embryo/products of conception? 
    @arati1986 Welcome and I'm sorry for your losses. The Christmas cards are hard. I found it cathartic to tear one up...

    Introduce yourself and anything you think is important: number of loss(es), when you had the loss(es), diagnosis / conditions surrounding loss, etc. Three first tri losses this year, most recent one was an mmc in early November ending in d&c. No living children. 

    Status: WTO CD5

    How are things going? What is something that you are struggling with this week? What is going well for you this week? R/R?  In the vein of what we were talking about last week with "friends" who are not supportive - that "friend" I mentioned who I distanced myself from TW sent me a sex reveal holiday card (she sent them to everyone I'm sure). I knew she would probably do something like this. I tore her card up into pieces and threw it away, which felt great. end TW. 

    Any testing coming up/any recent results? We have our RE appt tomorrow so I've been trying to work on listing my questions but I need to buckle down and finish that tonight. 

    GTKY: What favorite holiday present do you remember most from when you were a child? Hmm, I think we got a Sega Genesis one Christmas and that was awesome. 


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    dragonette505dragonette505 member
    zamora_spin Hey hey! Yeah, I've just been over in infertility during my IVF cycles... I'm sure its operable since its clearly small enough that ive had some docs say it didnt need to come out. I'm guessing my current doc just has a different perspective, but also, hey its 4 mc's later so i guess it makes sense to rule this out. I'll be honest... I dont know why people send holiday cards like that! Sounds like youre seeing an RE now? Do they have any idea why you are having these mc's? I didnt realize you'd had the third.. I'm so sorry :(




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    meatballs37meatballs37 member
    @zamora_spin I seriously can’t believe she sent you a reveal Christmas card. I want to punch her for you. I hope that was her final strike. She sounds like someone I would remove from my life. 

    I hope you get some positive answers from the RE tomorrow. 
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    zamoraspinzamoraspin member
    @dragonette505 I mean, better safe than sorry? It's one of those things I'm sure you'd be relieved to have an answer but also annoyed that no one addressed it before if it's really causing an issue. I am unexplained RPL. We started testing with our RE after my second loss and the only things we've found were a slight vitamin D insufficiency and I have the more mild MTHFR mutation (but my homocysteine levels are fine and I take folate and methyl folate as well as extra B6 and B12). TW My most recent loss the pregnancy was better than perfect by the numbers for hCG (I kept getting bw done 1-2 times a week because I was so anxious), and then the numbers went down at 6w and all we could see was a tiny sac on the u/s. The RE had said she wanted to test any losses if possible so I had a d&c and we tried to test products of conception, but the tests were inconclusive which broke my heart. My RE has offered two theories - (1) we are making embryos that are incompatible with life (likely because of my eggs, although she only says that in a round about way) or (2) I have some undiagnosable autoimmune issue and am losing healthy pregnancies, which is less likely. So she has suggested IVF with PGS and we are considering it but are going to try for one more spontaneous before we do that. I need to start stalking the IF board more so I can get caught up with what's been going on with you. 
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    dragonette505dragonette505 member
    zamora_spin definitely start stalking.... there is such a wealth of info over there... honestly most of us have gone back to our docs and taught them a thing or two based on the knowledge and experience of our crew over on IF. (TW) Your last mc sounds like my mc in the spring after my FET (frozen embryo transfer) The beta numbers were so good! But actually, i knew it wasnt going to work out because in the past (with longer pg's before mc) i would get hyperemesis (all day sickness) and by the time of my second scan I knew it wasnt progressing. I def have autoimmune issues and for sure likely terrible eggs so its just sucky all around with my defective uterus thrown in on top. I was also D deficient, but  Ive been on supplements for almost 2 years. I was also Magnesium deficient.
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    starlastarla member
    edited December 2017
    @dragonette505 Yeah I used to be on the dailies until they got to be too much with the chipper newbies. I also found keeping up hard. I'm sorry that twat waffle posted her BFP in the TWW thread. I hope people called her out on it!
    @zamora_spin DH has a requisition to do the DNA frag test, he just has to find time to do it. Did you get the autoimmune tests done? That and some genetic stuff was part of the BW I did yesterday. 
    Me: 34 | DH: 33
    Married Aug. 2013
    TTC #1 Sep. 2016
    ***TW***
    BFP Jan. 15, 2017; MMC Mar. 4, 2017 at 10w6d
    BFP Jun. 5, 2017; MMC Aug. 2, 2017 at 11w6d
    BFP Nov. 20, 2017; ended in CP
    All the tests. Everything normal except treated for ureaplasma and DH potentially has high DNAF.
    BFP Dec. 25, 2017; EDD Sep. 5, 2018; DD arrived Aug. 26th
    My chart: https://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/63f71d


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    dragonette505dragonette505 member
    starla The thing that really triggered me was that most girls just were excited and congrats all over the place... i was just coming off (tw) 2 back to back mc's and didnt have the strength to properly deal. I heard from someone else later that some hero told her whats what, but its like people either learn from finding themselves on their 10th cycle and some first timer is all: look at me! I made a baby! Or they read the rules and watch a while before doing something boneheaded. I dunno.. it just wrecked me in that moment
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    starlastarla member
    edited December 2017
    @dragonette505 I think I heard about that when it happened and lurked a bit. The dailies have changed a lot since I was on there. It's another reason I don't participate there anymore. Hugs!
    Me: 34 | DH: 33
    Married Aug. 2013
    TTC #1 Sep. 2016
    ***TW***
    BFP Jan. 15, 2017; MMC Mar. 4, 2017 at 10w6d
    BFP Jun. 5, 2017; MMC Aug. 2, 2017 at 11w6d
    BFP Nov. 20, 2017; ended in CP
    All the tests. Everything normal except treated for ureaplasma and DH potentially has high DNAF.
    BFP Dec. 25, 2017; EDD Sep. 5, 2018; DD arrived Aug. 26th
    My chart: https://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/63f71d


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