February 2018 Moms

Monday B*tchfest | 11.13

Which is really a week-long bitchfest. Because we can be annoyed any day of the week!
Me: late 30s | H: early 30s
TTC #1 since April 2015
RE Dx: Fibroids, surgery Jan 2016
IUI #1 and #2, Nov/Dec 2016, BFN
IVF March 2017: ER - 5R/3M/3F, 1 PGS normal
Polyp removed May 2017
FET May 2017 - BFP!
Baby boy born 2/2/18

acastl24
«1

Re: Monday B*tchfest | 11.13

  • I lost the drywall tape.  For the first time in 4 years in about to have a completed dining room ceiling with no holes in it.   But i can't finish it without the tape. So annoyed at myself.!
    BabyFruit Ticker
    older siblings: ds 16 dd 14 ds 13 dd 11 dd 7 
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  • At the end of my baby shower on Sat, my mom was talking to my MIL and said something along the lines of, "Wow you gave them so many things! They have sooo much much stuff now!" and MIL took it as 'you shouldn't have given them so much' and responded "well I just love them that much" and got huffy and left. Whereas I know (and thank god my husband also knew and explained it to his mom) that's my mom's way of saying "wow how generous of you." Just annoyed she took it the wrong way... She at least came over to my mom's to dinner that night so guess she wasn't THAT sensitive. I hope.
    babymakes9rainafire77
  • I have a trial tomorrow and attorney on the other side of this thing is being squirrely as hell. I have no patience for this and a recent shift in baby's position makes it hard for me to talk for any length of time without getting winded. Ugh. 
  • chucksmom15chucksmom15 member
    edited November 2017
    My mother apparently thinks she is going to live at my house after the baby is born.  So far she has announced she will come over to change his diapers and wants to come over tonight to wash all the clothes we got at the shower.  Just no.  I am capable of these things and DH and I can take care of our child's basic needs.  If I need your help I will call.  I also know when I say we are good for now (bc we are) she will get upset and I will have to deal with her.

    oh and she came over for a "short" visit with my in laws on Saturday.  She was at my house for 6 hours!!!!
  • My mother apparently thinks she is going to live at my house after the baby is born.  So far she has announced she will come over to change his diapers and wants to come over tonight to wash all the clothes we got at the shower.  Just no.  I am capable of these things and DH and I can take care of our child's basic needs.  If I need your help I will call.  I also know when I say we are good for now (bc we are) she will get upset and I will have to deal with her.

    oh and she came over for a "short" visit with my in laws on Saturday.  She was at my house for 6 hours!!!!
    I've read so much about relatives doing this. Half the time it doesn't end up being helpful and you just have another person you have to take care of for however long they decide to stay.

    ****TW Signature****
    BabyFruit Ticker
    DD born 04/28/2002
    Married DH 03/25/2017
    1st MMC 08/13/2016 2nd MMC 02/14/2017
    BFP 06/16/17 Rainbow DS Born 02/05/2018


  • Men keep using the women's bathroom because it's unisex for disabled men. So the guys think that it's fair game to use the ONLY women's bathroom because theirs is such a putrid mess. They leave the lid up and pee on the floor and even use it when the men's bathroom is open, meaning the women have to wait. I've probably bitches about this before but it's gotten worse since we've gotten more male employees and they ALL use this bathroom first. HR is trying to find a solution but so long as it's technically a "unisex" bathroom they really can't do much. I wish they would have made both bathrooms handicapped accessible then there would be a men's & women's bathroom. (And it's not a trans person accessible issue. These guys are all men and they're just being assholes about it.)

    ****TW Signature****
    BabyFruit Ticker
    DD born 04/28/2002
    Married DH 03/25/2017
    1st MMC 08/13/2016 2nd MMC 02/14/2017
    BFP 06/16/17 Rainbow DS Born 02/05/2018


  • ash0625 said:
    I have a trial tomorrow and attorney on the other side of this thing is being squirrely as hell. I have no patience for this and a recent shift in baby's position makes it hard for me to talk for any length of time without getting winded. Ugh. 
    I hope you get through it okay! My ex H’s lawyer is the worst I’ve ever seen. I don’t even know how she got her degree. I plan on sending my lawyer a basket of edible arrangements when we are done just for dealing with this emotional hot mess that represents herself as an attorney. Lol
    ash0625
  • My mother apparently thinks she is going to live at my house after the baby is born.  So far she has announced she will come over to change his diapers and wants to come over tonight to wash all the clothes we got at the shower.  Just no.  I am capable of these things and DH and I can take care of our child's basic needs.  If I need your help I will call.  I also know when I say we are good for now (bc we are) she will get upset and I will have to deal with her.

    oh and she came over for a "short" visit with my in laws on Saturday.  She was at my house for 6 hours!!!!
    same! When we bought our recliner glider my mom said she could sleep there, and at first I thought she was joking but she has said it a couple of times now. Also someone I guess asked her if I would want a PP Doula as a shower gift and she told me she "never had one of those, it was just her and my dad and later on grandmas. And she can do that" so not only was it another way of her saying she wants to come over to "help" but it also included a dash of shaming for "wanting" a PP doula that I didn't ask for and would be gifted. I NEED boundaries, I don't even want them to visit for a week after the baby comes. 
    BabyFruit Ticker
    chucksmom15babymakes9
  • @chucksmom15 I know it’s going to be hard but the sooner you put your foot down the sooner the grandparents get over it and learn boundaries. I tried to sugar coat things with my MIL until DH said I couldn’t get mad if she wasn’t interrupting what I wanted correctly because I wasn’t being direct. Now I say things one time and they back off because I’ve made my boundaries very clear. 

    AFM: MIL bitched about not being allowed at the hospital and joked about me being a horrible person. It was hell trying to recover and breastfeed DS with family in and out of the hospital so this time I said I want to focus on family bonding for the three days I’m there. Oh yeah I’m so horrible. And then I ugly cried to DH because my family lives out of state and can’t visit so they have to wait at least 2 weeks for me to be able to travel down to them and they have not brought it up once! My dad said to just send pictures and rest until I’m ready! He would prefer I waited the full 6 weeks. 

    Im waiting for her to make this complaint in front of me because I can’t wait to make her feel like crap. 
    rainafire77
  • Agreed about boundaries, and sticking with them! We told our parents we want no visitors for two weeks to get the dogs acclimated, and this weekend my dad started in with "So where did two weeks come from? Is that scientific? What if you're ready after one?" I said again, "No science, just my preference, two weeks." And my mom was all "It's fine, Joseph, we can wait two weeks!" My mom also keeps saying she'll come stay with us for a week to "help out" and she's apparently been telling all her friends this too, because they all told me that's what she said! I just said "Nothing's been decided yet, we'll see how things go." If my mom is at my house for a week I may kill her.

    @SunflowerMama428 I had the same thought about the hospital; it sounds like it's chaotic and I'll want peace and quiet, not in-laws hovering around just waiting to see the baby. My in-laws are still undecided about whether they want to drive the 4 hours to be here while I'm in the hospital (because of the aforementioned 2-week rule they know they can't stay long), and I keep stressing to H that it may be better to just wait. If I wait until I'm in the hospital to say "no visitors" it'll be too late because they'll be here. I just keep picturing having to kick them out constantly because of breast feeding, or my own examinations since I'll have had surgery, and them getting upset that they came "all this way" for not a whole lot of baby time.
    Me: late 30s | H: early 30s
    TTC #1 since April 2015
    RE Dx: Fibroids, surgery Jan 2016
    IUI #1 and #2, Nov/Dec 2016, BFN
    IVF March 2017: ER - 5R/3M/3F, 1 PGS normal
    Polyp removed May 2017
    FET May 2017 - BFP!
    Baby boy born 2/2/18

    rainafire77SunflowerMama428babymakes9
  • @eggplantface the most important time for a newborn is the first few days. My parents understand that because they raised 6 kids which is probably why they have good boundaries. Lol trust me when I say you won’t regret alone time with baby. You may regret not having. Visitors but that won’t be as bad as regretting they came.
    eggplantfacerainafire77
  • chucksmom15chucksmom15 member
    edited November 2017
    My brother and I have been trying to set boundaries with my mom for years.  It lasts for about 3 days and then she starts up again.  It's exhausting.  And when we have to talk to her about it she usually cries.  She means well but it's a lot.
    babymakes9
  • @SunflowerMama428 You're absolutely right, I can totally see myself saying "They shouldn't have come" but it being too late. I'll mention that to H, can't argue with that logic. And really, it's 2 weeks, not a lifetime. Baby will still be small and precious at 2 weeks.
    Me: late 30s | H: early 30s
    TTC #1 since April 2015
    RE Dx: Fibroids, surgery Jan 2016
    IUI #1 and #2, Nov/Dec 2016, BFN
    IVF March 2017: ER - 5R/3M/3F, 1 PGS normal
    Polyp removed May 2017
    FET May 2017 - BFP!
    Baby boy born 2/2/18

    rainafire77SunflowerMama428
  •  @eggplantface amen! Babies are just gaining back to birth weight around that time. Still totally small. Lol

    @chucksmom15 oh crying always makes things so uncomfortable, that’s why people cry. I hope you can find some sanity! 
  • I’m so mad today. I didn’t get a lunch break for the second shift in a row. You don’t deny a pregnant woman a break. So I’ve been sitting at my MRI scanner for about 5-6 hours straight now. No break. I’m exhausted, need to pee, and am cranky because my coworkers aren’t helping. Argh. Rant over, thanks for listening. 
  • @jenniferjoy37, that's awful, sorry to hear! Isn't it illegal to not have a lunch break?
    Work has been the root of my stress too, counting down 3 months until my 12 week break... 

    DD angel baby 10/16 <3
    Rainbow Due 02/20/18


  • @alemarie1Yep, it’s illegal, but the medical industry doesn’t care. You get as many patients in as you can and they don’t care how much the employees suffer. We are there for the patients after all. Gotta have good patient care... 
  • @chucksmom15 I know it’s going to be hard but the sooner you put your foot down the sooner the grandparents get over it and learn boundaries. I tried to sugar coat things with my MIL until DH said I couldn’t get mad if she wasn’t interrupting what I wanted correctly because I wasn’t being direct. Now I say things one time and they back off because I’ve made my boundaries very clear. 

    AFM: MIL bitched about not being allowed at the hospital and joked about me being a horrible person. It was hell trying to recover and breastfeed DS with family in and out of the hospital so this time I said I want to focus on family bonding for the three days I’m there. Oh yeah I’m so horrible. And then I ugly cried to DH because my family lives out of state and can’t visit so they have to wait at least 2 weeks for me to be able to travel down to them and they have not brought it up once! My dad said to just send pictures and rest until I’m ready! He would prefer I waited the full 6 weeks. 

    Im waiting for her to make this complaint in front of me because I can’t wait to make her feel like crap. 
    I'm nervous about this. MIL lives in town and my parents live in Texas ( I'm in WA state).  My mom's coming for a week after labor...BUT I DO NOT want in laws at hospital.  
    eggplantfacemagnolia305clc515
  • @Chawk17 stand your ground. Your mother in law is not the same as your mother and if she has no daughters to experience it with then that is not your guilt to bear. 
    magnolia305
  • jessilee15jessilee15 member
    edited November 2017
     I️ ran a 10K last night. I️ took walk breaks and dropped the distance from the half marathon I️ had signed up for...and I’m so sore today anywaysI️ literally couldn’t carry my 2 year old downstairs. Plus I️ had to ask them to switch my patient rooms at work so I️ didn’t have to walk as far

    wtf to the app that keeps subbing symbols for letters?!?!
  • Doctor told husband that he should lose 10lbs as weight can contribute to the optic nerve problems he’s been having. Hubby is 6’1 and 185lbs. like wtf. 

    But we can’t ignore the doctor because he controls when he will release husband back to work so all of a sudden I’m in my third trimester and my house is only full of healthy food and I want ALL THE BAD THINGS. omg. Seriously I would kill for a cookie right now. 
    Pregnancy Ticker
    babybro218babymakes9magnolia305alemarie1
  • @jessilee15 There’s an update for your iPhone to fix that. Mine was doing it too. Run the update and you should be good.  And props for running a 10k! I’m winded after 5 minutes of running back and forth with my patients at work! Keep it up!! 
  • @jessilee15 jeeze a 10k, that's awesome! I can hardly get up a flight of stairs w/o getting winded... High five!
  • Add me to the camp of in-laws not knowing boundaries. A few weeks ago, I told DH that I didn't want visitors immediately at the hospital as we'd be doing skin-to-skin and bonding with the baby ourselves. I'm not opposed to having some visitors at the hospital after, but definitely not for some time post-birth. He was in full agreement. Then the other day, MIL mentioned being in the waiting room while I gave birth. DH didn't comment on it, and I haven't talked to him about it, but I just know it's going to come back to haunt me. I fully expect her to be waiting anxiously and expecting to meet the baby within hours. 
    eggplantface
  • Add me to the camp of in-laws not knowing boundaries. A few weeks ago, I told DH that I didn't want visitors immediately at the hospital as we'd be doing skin-to-skin and bonding with the baby ourselves. I'm not opposed to having some visitors at the hospital after, but definitely not for some time post-birth. He was in full agreement. Then the other day, MIL mentioned being in the waiting room while I gave birth. DH didn't comment on it, and I haven't talked to him about it, but I just know it's going to come back to haunt me. I fully expect her to be waiting anxiously and expecting to meet the baby within hours. 
    I feel like things like this are easily avoided by just not telling anyone when you are going into labor. Especially if it is your first child. Our families knew we were going early with DD, but we never told them the exact day. With multiple children it is a bit harder because you will need to set up child care for the older kiddos, but you can still be selective who you choose to inform. 
    ldawngirl781smorzandojbabymakes9

  • I feel like things like this are easily avoided by just not telling anyone when you are going into labor. Especially if it is your first child. Our families knew we were going early with DD, but we never told them the exact day. With multiple children it is a bit harder because you will need to set up child care for the older kiddos, but you can still be selective who you choose to inform. 
    Yes! Great point. I'll see what DH says about this. The only major issue is that my FIL and step-MIL have a huge jetted tub that I'm planning to use during early labour. I know they'll respect boundaries (or at least more so than MIL), but if they know I'm in labour and heading to the hospital, the siblings will find out and BIL will likely tell MIL. 
  • For anyone not wanting a waiting room full of people I highly suggest mentioning it now and frequently. Both of our parents were highly offended that they (and our siblings) would not be seeing wandering in and out of the room/hanging out during labor. My dad even had the audacity to call to tell me I wasn’t letting him support me (not really sure how that works since he was trying to fight me on my wishes)

    anyways we started talking about it at the beginning of the 2nd tri so by the time delivery came they either got over it, or realized they weren’t going to win and kept their mouths shut until DH invited them to hospital. 
    babymakes9clc515BrittaniLC
  • Lurking 

    But be prepared to still not tell anyone when you go in. I spent my whole pregnancy saying I didn't want a waiting room full of people and the day I was induced, literally only one of my aunts respected that. She ended up feeling so hurt when she realized no one else listened to me and so they were all at the hospital waiting. It took a long time for me to get through to her that I was so thankful that she was the only one who actually cared enough to respect my wishes.
    babymakes9magnolia305
  •  pregnancy brain struck and messed up my plans.  Dh and i had been planing for months (since july) to go to the baby consignment sale Friday at 11am.
    Guess who completely spaces out and yesterday afternoon scheduled a pig delivery at 2 with a 4 hour round trip drive on Friday?  Yep! That would be me! Someone has to leave at 10 and would return at 2 with the pig and the consignment sale is an hour drive in the opposite direction.  I'm so upset at myself.  I spent most of last night crying about it. 

    Dh did offer maybe his mom could go with me and he'd pick up the pig,  but that was not the plan,  and i don't wanna buy all the stuff with his mom.  I wanted it to be me and him.  I'm so upset! And there is no one to blame but myself. 
    BabyFruit Ticker
    older siblings: ds 16 dd 14 ds 13 dd 11 dd 7 
  • Aw, that sucks @mamaof5already! What did you wind up doing?

  • @mamaof5already Your life is so much more interesting than mine. I want my weekend plans to involve getting a pig. I hope you get to enjoy the sale at least! You can have a baby fashion show for your husband when you get home :)
    Me: late 30s | H: early 30s
    TTC #1 since April 2015
    RE Dx: Fibroids, surgery Jan 2016
    IUI #1 and #2, Nov/Dec 2016, BFN
    IVF March 2017: ER - 5R/3M/3F, 1 PGS normal
    Polyp removed May 2017
    FET May 2017 - BFP!
    Baby boy born 2/2/18

    ash0625SunflowerMama428
  • @mamaof5already Story of my life. I double book myself all of the time, even as I'm staring at my calendar. It makes me so mad. 
  • Doctor ordered my glucose test and 2nd tri labs, but said I need to do them by 28 weeks (which is the Monday after Thanksgiving.)  The appts I can make are this Monday at 10:45am or Black Friday at 7:15am... also, I have to fast from midnight on since it's the 2hr version.  

    So now I can't eat on Monday until 1pm or have to sit in the lab for 2 hours in the early morning on Black Friday with my 3 kids (since there so no school.) Ugh.
  • @3plus1equals4 that sucks. I would pick the one I could do without the kids any day though.

    My bitchfest today is also about the two hour glucose test. I failed the first and yesterday the midwife told me to get in ASAP so that I could do the two hour. 

    I went in today after fasting all night at 6:45am to beat the rush and to finish in time for DH to be only 1.5 hours late for work. Well I get there and they don't have my requisition because the office never sent it and I had to wait there until 8:30 when they could get in contact with the midwife before I could even start.

    So I waited an extra 2 hours just waiting and DH was way later for work than he wanted to be. Not to mention I was starving and near passed out an hour into the test.

     DD born Oct 2011 - DS#1 born Jan 2014 - DS#2 born Apr 2015 - DS#3 born Sept 2016 - LO#5 due Feb 7, 2018

  • @sabriel1 - How frustrating! Midwife's office needs to be more on the ball if she's going to demand you go do something ASAP. 

  • @sabriel1 Or at least given you the lab slip to take with you!

    ****TW Signature****
    BabyFruit Ticker
    DD born 04/28/2002
    Married DH 03/25/2017
    1st MMC 08/13/2016 2nd MMC 02/14/2017
    BFP 06/16/17 Rainbow DS Born 02/05/2018


  • 3plus1equals43plus1equals4 member
    edited November 2017
    @sabriel1 They open at 6:30 and first appointments aren't scheduled until 7, so I may show up at 6:30 Monday and see if they can take me then. Maybe they'll have mercy on a pregnant lady?? If not, nothing lost, I'd be fasting anyway. 

    I really can't see my 3 kids sitting in a waiting room for 2 hours on a school holiday without being bored out of their minds and driving me nuts. They're 7, 5, and 3.

    Eta: That sucks they don't hand you the lab slip. Would have saved so much time and frustration.
  • @BrittaniLC I also agree with not telling anyone you are in labour especially if you are a FTM! I was in the hospital for 18 hours plus a csection and didn't tell anyone! It was so much nicer! 

    This time around we will have to tell someone so they can keep our DS but I will give them direct instructions that NO ONE is to be told that I'm in labour! 

    The more people you tell the more likely the word will get out to everyone 
    BrittaniLCbabybro218
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