UO Thursday 11/9

becausescience

becausescience

Pumpkin pie is gross. 

justkeeptrying

@becausescience, and just when I thought we could be friends...

Gingermom15

becausescience said:

Pumpkin pie is gross. 

Pumpkin anything is gross. Expect pumpkin spice roll with cream cheese in the middle, those are delicious 

k318

PSLs are too sweet. All flavored cafe drinks are too sweet.

Gingermom15

I can’t stand when parents use their kids, who clearly have a preference for the sex of a baby, in reveal videos. There’s a chance the child is going to be upset and disappointed, don’t video that moment and share it with the world. Help them cope ffs. Don’t laugh and embarrass them when they’re clearly upset 

ksmwalters

becausescience said:

Pumpkin pie is gross. 

kalawa

I feel like with technology use increasing, commen sense is decreasing. I witnessed numerous people this morning texting a driving...1 week after a MASSIVE collision on the main highway between here and Toronto, which there were fatalities. 

npkat

I'll take it one step farther @becausescience... I think ALL pie is gross! And cheesecake

kalawa

@npkat NOT CHEEEEESECAKKKKEEEE!! What did cheesecake ever do to you?? I do agree though, most pie is gross. Except pumpkin and pecan.

Cowboycorgi

@Gingermom15, agreed! I’m not a fan of taping kids during grief/tantrum anyway. Their pain and grief may seem petty to you, but it’s very real to them. Could you imagine if someone taped the parents during a low moment and posted it to Facebook? 

gh515

Okay, after reading this thread, perhaps it is an UO that pie is actually far superior to cake?* Pumpkin pie is awesome. Peanut butter cup pie is awesome. And when cake masquerades as pie- like Boston Cream Pie- it is awesome. 

*in most circumstances

gh515

As an aside, I will also say that I appreciate how yet another thread has turned to primarily a food discussion. (:

kiki75

I don't agree with people setting themselves up to be the picked on characters in their home lives on topics that come down to choices.
Ex 1. Someone on Facebook recently shared a video in which the tl;dw is that wife says "I'm going to bed" then does 43 things before going to bed. H says, "I'm going to bed" and then does. It sets her up as this better person for doing all of these things and him as this lazy dolt for not. Well, unless that is the division of labor that you have agreed on, say something before you both sit down to relax. "These things need to be done by the end of the night. If I handle x,y,z. Can you do the rest?"

Ex 2. When I was a kid in church there was this whole lesson that revolved around this woman making dinner and she made four pieces of fish. One stuck to the pan and got jacked up. So she served her family the three perfect pieces and herself the jacked up one. Which is fine. But there was an "ohhh pooor her" because it's like this all the time in the story. She chooses that. He doesn't make her. (And if he does, she should run far, far away.) When I'm cooking, I kind of keep it 50/50 and H doesn't care. If I screwed something up because I totally knew better and decided to do it anyways (like "I really should get a bigger pan. This one is too small... damn. Should have gotten the bigger pan.") then I'll give myself the screwed up one but otherwise I try to keep it even and if he doesn't like it, he can make his own. 

Ex 3. "Oh... me and my brother used to build a car every year until I got married." Boo hoo, dude. You could make time for building cars if you wanted. Don't blame this on her. It may not be one a year as you choose to add responsibilities to your life but if your #1 priority is that, then skip the marriage and build cars all the time. Otherwise, zip it.

Video link in case you're interested: https://www.facebook.com/joycemeyerministries/videos/10155479809992384/

kiki75

And to bring it back to food...
American cheese is garbage and a disgrace to the nation.

Dave's Killer Bread's version of cinnamon raisin bread may be organic but it is not as good as Sunmaid. And now I have a whole loaf to eat before I can get back to the good stuff. 

syssa-o

Pumpkin pie is gross. Unless it comes with pecan topping on it. In which case I will eat it. 

Cheesecake is the best dessert. Ever. 

is American cheese the cheese that comes wrapped in plastic and tastes like plastic? If so.... *puke*

my UO- I won’t be raising my kids as religious. My mom forced religion on us and I didn’t buy it from an early age. If they choose to follow a religion when they are older that’s cool with me...if religion has a positive influence upon their lives and encourages them to be good people I’m all for it, and I’ll provide whatever tools necessary for them to be informed. Buuuuut easter is about chocolate eggs and Christmas is about family and Santa. 

[Deleted User]

Same on the religion front @syssa-o

Like I'll drive them to whatever place of worship they want.  But I'm not going to talk about my own views unless they specifically ask for them.

mdfarmchick

My husband is first and my kids are second. I try to follow this with my son. Sometimes I screw it up but I honestly think it’s healthier for my marriage to put MH first. 

npkat

@mdfarmchick I love this. I've heard this before and have set a goal to keep this instilled in our now growing family.

heatherdubrow

@mdfarmchick I agree to an extent. My kids needs usually come first, but my H and I go on a date every single week and make a point to take trips without the kids together. It’s important that our marriage stays strong in order for our family to stay strong.

mdfarmchick

@heatherdubrow I think like everything there is a balance to be achieved here but my main goal is to not constantly be focused on my kids and not having anything left to go into my marriage. 

[Deleted User]

I guess I haven't even thought about who "comes first".  Like what does that even mean?

syssa-o

@antoto I feel like the most simple way to explain it would be (in my house) when dinner is ready who gets theirs first? H and I both put DS first. As @heatherdubrow was saying, H and I make sure we have time for ourselves at least weekly but DS will always be taken care of before we are. Frankly that little guy is my favourite person in the world and I’d argue H feels the same way about him. 

[Deleted User]

syssa-o said:

@antoto I feel like the most simple way to explain it would be (in my house) when dinner is ready who gets theirs first? H and I both put DS first. As @heatherdubrow was saying, H and I make sure we have time for ourselves at least weekly but DS will always be taken care of before we are. Frankly that little guy is my favourite person in the world and I’d argue H feels the same way about him. 

Yeah I mean with all care giving stuff the kid sort of has to come first... because they are a child and can't do things that my adult H can do.  Like if they are both sick or both hungry I'll help the kid first.  I can't really think of a time hypothetically where I would actually put my H on a higher priority than my baby...

npkat

@antoto I really don't interpret it as who gets served dinner first, or who gets taken care of first. To me, it is about making sure all your time and energy is not ONLY spent on your kids, having nothing left for your husband or significant other. Of course, when they are newborns, I think you're both just in survival mode so it is hard to apply that fully. I think it is important because if you do not nourish your own marriage, then you're really doing your children a disservice anyways. I do not want to wake up one day having no idea who my husband is because all I have done is focus on the kids and have not continued a real relationship with my husband. My older sister and brother have really set a great example for me in that way.. they go on trips just the 2 of them, date nights frequently, etc.

Edited to add that I am scared shitless of bringing a baby into a marriage and how it will affect things, especially at first. But I have definitely set in my mind that without a strong marriage the kids will suffer anyways, so my marriage will be my priority as well as loving the crap out of my kids and doing everything I can for them.

Gingermom15

@mdfarmchick I know what you mean and we do the same. Our child is exists because of our relationship, not the other way around. Our relationship does not revolve around our son. I know firsthand how easy it is to lose yourself in parenthood and how shifting the focus can starve a marriage, we’ve been there and it almost ended us after our son was born. Putting our marriage first benefits everyone due to the stronger foundation of the family. For us this means our bed is our bed, we never bedshared because that is our space. Our room is our room, he very rarely goes in or plays in there because that is our private space. He has nothing in our room. If we are having a conversation or watching a movie and he wants to talk too, or watch something of his own, he has to wait until we are done. We do not stop our conversation to address him unless it’s asking him to “please wait”, unless he is hurt or crying. When we have a date night we keep discussions about children to a minimum, very little phone use which means very little checking in on him. 
It has so much more to do with not allowing your marriage to revolve around the child, rather than who to serve first at dinner and who to care for first when sick (Which is always our son). DS wants for nothing, but we do not deny our ourselves or each other to serve him. 

ETA 
it is important to put as much energy into your relationship and to yourselves as you do your children. This is highly subjective and different for everyone, you need to find what works for you. But always remember that you cannot drink from an empty cup and you cannot serve from an empty dish. 

[Deleted User]

@npkat OHHHHHHHHHHHHHh I see what you mean.  Yeah no that makes complete sense.  It's extremely important to a child to see a healthy, caring relationship between their parents (even if they aren't together!).  If your parents ignore each other or never show love to each other than how could the child know what a happy relationship looks like?  I get it.  I was taking it very literally - like who gets the flu medicine first lol.

Gingermom15

@antoto to be completely honest, when my husband and child are both sick they are pretty equivalent 

syssa-o

@antoto *face palm* I so didn’t explain that the way I meant it. I kind of meant “dinner” to be more figuratively used rather than actual dinner... LOL  Too much multi-tasking going on and now I’m making my brain hurt. 

The other ladies got it covered bahaha 

muggle621

I 1000% agree with what @mdfarmchick and @Gingermom15 are saying about relationship being #1. My husband and I have already discussed and agreed we will have date nights and childless vacations. We will also not be bedsharing. It is essential to my H and I that we are more than just mom and dad and continue to somewhat have outside lives!  Preach!! 

Gingermom15

@muggle621 we’ve also agreed to limit activities to one each. We won’t be doing multiple activities throughout the year and we won’t be nonstop during the summer. Parents seem to run themselves ragged keeping their children busy, but how healthy can that be? They need downtime as much as we do. Free time isn’t a bad thing. Personally, I don’t feel it is my job to keep my child entertained all the time. 

fiddleRN79

A little late here, but I love pie. For our wedding we had a small cake and 25 pies. Yummmm. I love all things pumpkin, even pumpkin soup. I agree with putting the marriage first. It's so hard to not get lost in other responsibilities. Not just the children but work, school, activities, and the need to shower on occasion. When I get out of my nurse practitioner program I'm surprising DH with a trip for our 10 year anniversary. I can't wait to be alone with him on a beach somewhere.  

Mass-girl-at-heart

Pie is the bomb 

creamcheese anything can got straight to the garbage 

american cheese is is also super yummy

my relationship with my husband is top priority, when we’re good we are better parents 

The 90s was one of the best decades for music (the 60s being tops)

porter I’ve IPA every time

kalawa

What exactly is American cheese? 
Also, relationship is definitely priority. Living somewhere with no babysitters makes date night hard. Instead, we make sure we do quiet time at night together. Like reading, or talking in bed. Also, we don't bedshare because we both need our own private space that is ours only. 

Cowboycorgi

@Gingermom15 and @mdfarmchick, thank you for explaining the meaning! I have always been confused by what people meant, then again it seems like I was doing it naturally. 

Speaking of being confused by random parenting advice, I never understood the ‘laundry can wait, play with the kids advice’. Maybe it’s the age of my child, or maybe because I only have 1 right now, but I have always done laundry at night when she is asleep. Cleaning of any kind when a Toddler is awake is pretty much useless. Babies sleep often enough to do laundry around, and older kids go to school. 

im probably sensitive because the same family member always posts stuff like that to my Facebook page, or makes comments to me about how my house doesn’t look ‘properly played in’... but her house has always been a mess even before kids! And I don’t like the superior tone she uses when implying I don’t play with my child. My aching back and paint stained carpets beg to differ. 

syssa-o

@Cowboycorgi I hate those Facebook posts.... they seem like excuses for people who don’t want to maintain the cleanliness of their home. I clean daily and I also play daily. I encourage my son to clean as well and we do it together because that’s an important skill. Nothing wrong with your house being lived in ans not always looking magazine ready but just because your sinks have dishes and mine don’t doesn’t mean I don’t play with my son. 

ksmwalters

I loooovvvvve pie (ESPECIALLY Crack Pie) but Pumpkin Pie is disgusting. I’m the Switzerland of desserts - I love pie, cake, ice cream, ice cream cake, cookies, cupcakes, whatever. Just gimme the goods.  

amylonghorn

@ksmwalters what is this "crack pie" you speak of???? It sounds amazing...!!!

chasingroygbiv

@Gingermom15 Grandma recorded our reveal and our cousin (who is a photographer) took photos. Because DS wasnt entirely thrilled (he wasn’t devastated, but he wasn’t jumping for joy) we chose not to share the video (but I kept it for our own memories) and share photos only instead because I could pick and choose which ones to share. I agree, it’s not cool to do that to them and our son is quite sensitive the way it is. 

It depends on the day for me when it comes to pie. I’m generally only a chocolate PB or apple pie kind of gal. I can swing one slice of pumpkin on Thanksgiving, but beyond that it’s not one of my favorites. 

American cheese smells terrible. 

Gingermom15

American cheese smells like toe funk. No thank you. 
I’m not a big pie or cake person, I love Dutch apple pie and a certain kind of lemon pie our cafeteria people make. Otherwise, I’m not a big fan of either. I don’t care much for sweets in general. 

ksmwalters

@amylonghorn

https://milkbarstore.com/main/menu/recipes-and-how-tos/

Click on “Crack Pie” for the recipe. It’s even better with pecans added. I make it every year at Christmas and it’s amazeballs.