@lindsye I think part of the problem may be that he feels like I will never touch him again anyway at this point so his filter has disappeared... but your definitely right. He is NOT helping his case at all, especially considering I am finally starting to feel better with the MS.
@frenchiekinplusone Yes! Fellow Team Green here. Everyone has their opinion on the baby's sex.
Along the same lines, we get such ridiculous responses from people when we tell them we are Team Green. Some people are legitimately pissed off. My very least favorite is when people say, "Oh I couldn't do that, I'm to much of a planner or organized to not find out the sex". Like Okkkkkk, thanks for calling me unorganized....
@shireeallason omg YES to the comments from people about being too organized or whatever to not find out. Multiple people including good friends have said that to me. I'm actually a super organized person and a major planner but I'm still not finding out. It's possible to do both, and it would also be completely fine if I wasn't like that. Eye rolllllll.
@JJMNO1616 I totally hear you - I remember my husband being like that when I was pregnant with my first. I think he was actually afraid that we would have a sexless marriage from then until eternity - it's like he totally didn't get that pregnancy is a profoundly life-changing and difficult experience, but that it would end... and so would my complete disinterest in sex.
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If one more person asks if I’m having twins I’m going to scream. Even when I say no, they say something stupid like “are you sure? I think the doctor might have missed it.” No you asshole, I just carry big. It was the same thing with my son. Stop telling me I’m huge. I fucking know.
If one more person asks if I’m having twins I’m going to scream. Even when I say no, they say something stupid like “are you sure? I think the doctor might have missed it.” No you asshole, I just carry big. It was the same thing with my son. Stop telling me I’m huge. I fucking know.
I just straight up started giving rude answers because I carry big too. Sometimes I would say "Nope, apparently just the size of the Titanic, from all the mean comments I get!". Or I'd give them a cold look and walk away when they started on the twin/triplet crap. My FIL got that last time. Worked like a charm!
If one more person asks if I’m having twins I’m going to scream. Even when I say no, they say something stupid like “are you sure? I think the doctor might have missed it.” No you asshole, I just carry big. It was the same thing with my son. Stop telling me I’m huge. I fucking know.
The thing is, I've been on both sides of this now and both suck. With my first, I showed really late and was small until the very end. My baby was on the small side too (the one who is now 5 and 98th percentile in height and weight, incidentally). Every time people commented on how small I was, I panicked on the inside because it made me feel there was something wrong with my baby.
Then by baby #3 my body had it down, and I got the full spectrum of "is it twins?" "you're so big - you'll never make it to 40 weeks!!" nonsense. Moral of the story: don't comment about a pregnant woman's size, period end of story. (Know I'm preaching to the choir here, but anyway.)
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Not related to this pregnancy or rude, but one of my favorite quotes from DD1 was when Dh's grandpa called us up the day after our daughter was born and asked us "if her eyes had opened up yet or not". Y'all. He had 4 kids. I laughed until I cried, and we still give him a tease about it every now and then.
Like many of you, the only comments I've gotten that are a little irritating are asking me "are you sure you should be doing that/carrying that/etc." Well, if you don't think I should, pick it up and carry it yourself, or leave it alone. I'm not going to intentionally put my child at risk, dummy.
We've had a few "but but but but!!" about the whole not finding out the sex thing too. We've got two little ladies, and this is our last rodeo. It'll be such a fun surprise! How much notice do I really need to make sure the kid is clean and fed? If it's a boy, he'll be okay until I can make it to Carters
I'm sorry so many of you have had such hurtful comments. Size comments are the hardest. No matter what shape you are, we're women and we're moms and we're hormonal, and any comment about big or small is frustrating.
These had me cracking up. I'm releived I'm not the only one getting these comments! I'm not showing yet and people are constantly telling me I need to eat more or worrying about baby growing.... I'm eating great and baby looks fine so far. And there is this one super irritating person at work who feels the need to tell me how tired or pale I look literally everyday. Like jeez lady at this point maybe you can just accept that I'm fair skinned
@rach-j I feel you on the pale comments. I have been very fair my whole life, and every-frickin-body gave me "helpful" advice on what I could do to tan up. I got so incredibly sick of it (thank you everyone for telling me I'm ugly-pale), that I actually dyed my hair to a strawberry blonde. It was like a new lease on life, and the comments immediately stopped. Everyone was suddenly cool with my paleness because I was a redhead, and OF COURSE redheads can't tan *eye roll*. Even family members who know I'm not a redhead have stopped bothering me.
I have been doing it for about 15 years now, and haven't gotten a single "tanning tip". Since. All of my coworkers have no idea I'm not a redhead.
Oy the team green can’t be prepared drives me nuts! This is my third time team green, and I’m the most type A, detail oriented organized person you have ever met!
Our nursery decor is green brown and ivory (I have a gorgeous woodland themed quilt made by a great friend that served as the centerpiece). Within two days of birth each of my kids has been gifted of handed down a full wardrobe. My grandma made dd a quilt that she still uses as her lovey each day, and my moms best friend got a blue quilt for ds from the local church fundraiser. I haven’t had to buy clothes for either with the exception of their homecoming outfits (ds’ didn’t fit newborn size) so we only took a picture in it then changed him!) until they hit 2t!
also I don’t buy the idea that my son can’t sit in a pink high chair or pink rock n play. He’s not old enough to know the difference!
So we have not publicly announced yet, but I've seen several April babies on my Facebook feed. The most annoying thing I've seen is, after people announce, someone will say something like "i hope you can still make it to the birthday party/wedding/some other random event" idk why but it just bothers me. Like right after I have a baby or towards the end of my pregnancy, I'm going to be worried about showing up to your event.
So we have not publicly announced yet, but I've seen several April babies on my Facebook feed. The most annoying thing I've seen is, after people announce, someone will say something like "i hope you can still make it to the birthday party/wedding/some other random event" idk why but it just bothers me. Like right after I have a baby or towards the end of my pregnancy, I'm going to be worried about showing up to your event.
Yeah, I had a cousin with no kids ask if I’m still hosting Easter this year (for 25 people). Um no. No I’m not....
I remember something that gave me a good laugh when I was pregnant with DS. DS is a September baby and a guy I worked with was all "So you're going to pregnant all Summer long... WHAT WERE YOU THINKING?!" I told him it took us a while to pregnant and at that point I was happy to take being pregnant all Summer long vs not being pregnant at all.
With my first pregnancy, a male co-worker kept going on and on about how attractive and sexy pregnant women are and how he was so horny when his wife was pregnant. It totally makes me uncomfortable to be around him because I don't want to know the thoughts going on in his head. I just don't know why he would tell me something like that. It's so creepy. He constantly asked if he could touch my pregnant belly and I always said no. Everytime he passes me in the hallway now, he makes an outline of a pregnant belly with his hands over his stomach. Like, what does that even mean?
@jbn999 it means you need to talk to HR or whoever runs the establishment because that is sexual harassment and a hostile work environment. Seriously, how disgusting!!
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@kmalls and @stalkinghorse we get some of the same crap bc DH is 40. Before we got pregnant and people asked about kids I would say “I’m only 25-26-27, we’ve got time!” And the response was always “yes but your husband is older!” Like, y’all, I’m not Anna Nicole smith! He doesn’t have a foot in the grave! I think the benefits our kids will have from having an older dad will faaarrrrr outweigh any potential negatives. It helps that he also looks about 32, especially when he shaves his beard.
Also amen to the constant “how are you feeling?” crap. I’ve complained about this on another thread and I know it’s only going to get worse as time goes on and the bump becomes more noticeable.
I know I should report him, but, unfortunately, I’ve allowed
this kind of behavior for the past 9 years.
I work with all men and I wanted to be “like one of the guys,” and not
treated like a little, frail, easily offended woman. He hasn’t said anything about it to me this
pregnancy, but as soon as he does, I’m going to call him out. This pregnancy has really brought out the
bitch in me and I have been on quite a rampage with telling people off lately
(and then go cry in the bathroom). I’m
glad to see that I’m not the only one who thinks his behavior and comments are
creeeeepy!
I know I should report him, but, unfortunately, I’ve allowed
this kind of behavior for the past 9 years.
I work with all men and I wanted to be “like one of the guys,” and not
treated like a little, frail, easily offended woman. He hasn’t said anything about it to me this
pregnancy, but as soon as he does, I’m going to call him out. This pregnancy has really brought out the
bitch in me and I have been on quite a rampage with telling people off lately
(and then go cry in the bathroom). I’m
glad to see that I’m not the only one who thinks his behavior and comments are
creeeeepy!
I understand the sentiment and respect however you decide to handle this, but I can't let this go by without a comment: the fact that you've tolerated this type of behavior for 9 years does NOT mean you can't report anything in the future. I know you know that, but I just had to say it outloud. You always have the option of reporting someone, ESPECIALLY someone as inappropriate as that, at any time.
I know I should report him, but, unfortunately, I’ve allowed
this kind of behavior for the past 9 years.
I work with all men and I wanted to be “like one of the guys,” and not
treated like a little, frail, easily offended woman. He hasn’t said anything about it to me this
pregnancy, but as soon as he does, I’m going to call him out. This pregnancy has really brought out the
bitch in me and I have been on quite a rampage with telling people off lately
(and then go cry in the bathroom). I’m
glad to see that I’m not the only one who thinks his behavior and comments are
creeeeepy!
Calling a woman a "bitch" for direct, honest and open communication is akin to calling a young girl "bossy" for being direct and having strong leadership skills. I say good for you for stepping up your game and calling people out where deserved! A "little, frail" woman would never be able to do that.
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@julzy Yep I have totally got the twins thing... like why don't you just say what you mean and say I am as big a a house?? kthanksbye @rach-j Omg my mom keeps asking me if I am okay because I am super fair but my lips went stark white as soon as I got pregnant. No idea why - I am not anemic or anything. I have actually been trying to wear lipstick more because I don't want the comments! @ngolimento Huh I guess I should give up the blonde then. Was it hard to dye it a true strawberry? My hair naturally picks up red. Like when I tried to go brunette (big mistake) it was more of a red brown. @jbn999 That is disturbing.
@saralee797-2 my natural color is a dirty ash blonde, and picks up red really easily too. I dye it either a strawberry blonde or super light Auburn, and it really works well for me (like my hair is relaxing into the true color it is supposed to be ).
I have actually had people complain to me a couple of times about how unnatural women who try to dye their hair red look, and why do they do that? They should just leave it to naturals like me, yada yada. Makes me die laughing inside every time. I think a lot of people try to push their hair into a super rich or dark red, and that tends to not look natural.
@saralee797-2 my natural color is a dirty ash blonde, and picks up red really easily too. I dye it either a strawberry blonde or super light Auburn, and it really works well for me (like my hair is relaxing into the true color it is supposed to be ).
I have actually had people complain to me a couple of times about how unnatural women who try to dye their hair red look, and why do they do that? They should just leave it to naturals like me, yada yada. Makes me die laughing inside every time. I think a lot of people try to push their hair into a super rich or dark red, and that tends to not look natural.
Most of the women in my family have that natural orange red hair. Mine turned out to be more of a dish water brown with red tone. I hate the natural color of my hair because it's just boring imo so I have colord my hair FOREVER. Although I have had it all colors under the sun I decided to start coloring it red several years ago. I have perfected the color now and absolutely no one realizes my color isn't natural. Everyone keeps saying how we are going to have beautiful ginger babies. While I hope we do I'm not so sure it will turn out that way!
One is my husbands bosses said “What are you thinking? Haven’t you figured out how that works yet?” I not so politely responded that we had been trying for over 4 1/2 years and had some struggles, in a few more worsa. He immediately shut up and felt like a dick.
Me (33). DH (37). DD (2.2012). MCs x4. After 4 years & 7 months, due 4.2018!
I got "is that a bump or from stress eating" today lol... (I'm in the beginning stages of a divorce) I instantly got defensive (my dr. Said I have gained the perfect amount of weight!) When I should have called the person out
I was with my mom and we were going to eat somewhere. I didn't feel great and everything I thought about eating at that place made me gag. I asked her if we could eat somewhere else and she laughed and said, "you are definitely having a girl." Because I don't want to throw up my lunch...ok?
Also, I feel like I can't be frustrated without it being because I am pregnant. I hate that people think they can say anything to a pregnant woman.
@jbn999 oh wow! How disgusting!!! I'm so sorry you've had to put up with that. If definitely report him if he starts up again.
I haven't has any comments this pregnancy.. yet. However with my first I definitely did. I had this 60ish/70ish year old security guard that I would see on my way out of work everyday and he would tell me that he wanted to take me to the hospital when I went into labor and that he wanted to visit me...and it wasn't in a grandpa sort of way. He was hitting on me!!!! Ughhh! When I came back from maternity leave I was very avoidant of joining in any conversation with him and then one day he stopped me and said "I knew you'd change after having the baby." As if I had fallen out of love with him or something...so creepy!! It was so crazy and we only had one exit in our building so I had to pass him everyday. I finally reported his ass to HR and he was gone the following day. Thankfully he was contracted so it was an easy process to get rid of him.
I also had another man comment on my size every freaking time I saw him. And the funny thing is he had a large gut bigger than my belly. One day we were walking down the hallway from opposite ends of each other and he made the comment that he should move to the other side of the hallway cause I was so big and needed to make room. I come red back by saying "oh well then I should do the same for you!"
My husband thought it was funny to joke about what I was eating over the weekend. We were with his family and all of us were eating cake and he said he won't be surprised if our children have diabetes from all the sweets I eat. Literally, the only sweet I had that day was cake and I haven't even been wanting sweet stuff!
A coworker who I'm pretty good friends with has been pushing a lot of his work off onto me the past few weeks as he's been busy with other stuff. I finally had enough and told him I couldn't take on another project. In front of half of our office he told me I was overreacting because I was pregnant. He's young and single, the rest of the group we were with are married men with kids--I didn't even have to stand up for myself because they all set him straight immediately. But dang it, who says something like that??
A coworker who I'm pretty good friends with has been pushing a lot of his work off onto me the past few weeks as he's been busy with other stuff. I finally had enough and told him I couldn't take on another project. In front of half of our office he told me I was overreacting because I was pregnant. He's young and single, the rest of the group we were with are married men with kids--I didn't even have to stand up for myself because they all set him straight immediately. But dang it, who says something like that??
Someone who has never been responsible for a family, has never had a girlfriend for longer than a month, and someone who is dangerously close to HR violations. Women are NOT "irrational" because of hormones, pregnancy, or anything related to their uterus. Implying that is the lifeblood of mysogeny.
A coworker who I'm pretty good friends with has been pushing a lot of his work off onto me the past few weeks as he's been busy with other stuff. I finally had enough and told him I couldn't take on another project. In front of half of our office he told me I was overreacting because I was pregnant. He's young and single, the rest of the group we were with are married men with kids--I didn't even have to stand up for myself because they all set him straight immediately. But dang it, who says something like that??
Wow, well I'm really glad to hear you had support from your other co-workers. That takes a lot of nerve especially considering it's his work. I hope he feels like an ass now.
Re: The things people say....
Along the same lines, we get such ridiculous responses from people when we tell them we are Team Green. Some people are legitimately pissed off. My very least favorite is when people say, "Oh I couldn't do that, I'm to much of a planner or organized to not find out the sex". Like Okkkkkk, thanks for calling me unorganized....
Married: 10/3/15
TTC: May 2017
BFP: 7/20/17
EDD: 3/29/18
Then by baby #3 my body had it down, and I got the full spectrum of "is it twins?" "you're so big - you'll never make it to 40 weeks!!" nonsense. Moral of the story: don't comment about a pregnant woman's size, period end of story. (Know I'm preaching to the choir here, but anyway.)
The first thing my husband's grandma said when we told her was "Good luck. I thought you wanted to go to business school?"
All we could do was laugh. It's not real life.
Like many of you, the only comments I've gotten that are a little irritating are asking me "are you sure you should be doing that/carrying that/etc." Well, if you don't think I should, pick it up and carry it yourself, or leave it alone. I'm not going to intentionally put my child at risk, dummy.
We've had a few "but but but but!!" about the whole not finding out the sex thing too. We've got two little ladies, and this is our last rodeo. It'll be such a fun surprise! How much notice do I really need to make sure the kid is clean and fed? If it's a boy, he'll be okay until I can make it to Carters
I'm sorry so many of you have had such hurtful comments. Size comments are the hardest. No matter what shape you are, we're women and we're moms and we're hormonal, and any comment about big or small is frustrating.
I have been doing it for about 15 years now, and haven't gotten a single "tanning tip". Since. All of my coworkers have no idea I'm not a redhead.
Our nursery decor is green brown and ivory (I have a gorgeous woodland themed quilt made by a great friend that served as the centerpiece). Within two days of birth each of my kids has been gifted of handed down a full wardrobe. My grandma made dd a quilt that she still uses as her lovey each day, and my moms best friend got a blue quilt for ds from the local church fundraiser. I haven’t had to buy clothes for either with the exception of their homecoming outfits (ds’ didn’t fit newborn size) so we only took a picture in it then changed him!) until they hit 2t!
also I don’t buy the idea that my son can’t sit in a pink high chair or pink rock n play. He’s not old enough to know the difference!
Also amen to the constant “how are you feeling?” crap. I’ve complained about this on another thread and I know it’s only going to get worse as time goes on and the bump becomes more noticeable.
DS-9/2012
DD-7/2015
@irenejean right, because all you have to do is just pick what month you want to have the baby and press the button and it happens.
THATS NOT HOW THIS WORKS.
Married: 10/3/15
TTC: May 2017
BFP: 7/20/17
EDD: 3/29/18
I know I should report him, but, unfortunately, I’ve allowed this kind of behavior for the past 9 years. I work with all men and I wanted to be “like one of the guys,” and not treated like a little, frail, easily offended woman. He hasn’t said anything about it to me this pregnancy, but as soon as he does, I’m going to call him out. This pregnancy has really brought out the bitch in me and I have been on quite a rampage with telling people off lately (and then go cry in the bathroom). I’m glad to see that I’m not the only one who thinks his behavior and comments are creeeeepy!
@rach-j Omg my mom keeps asking me if I am okay because I am super fair but my lips went stark white as soon as I got pregnant. No idea why - I am not anemic or anything. I have actually been trying to wear lipstick more because I don't want the comments!
@ngolimento Huh I guess I should give up the blonde then. Was it hard to dye it a true strawberry? My hair naturally picks up red. Like when I tried to go brunette (big mistake) it was more of a red brown.
@jbn999 That is disturbing.
I have actually had people complain to me a couple of times about how unnatural women who try to dye their hair red look, and why do they do that? They should just leave it to naturals like me, yada yada. Makes me die laughing inside every time. I think a lot of people try to push their hair into a super rich or dark red, and that tends to not look natural.
One is my husbands bosses said “What are you thinking? Haven’t you figured out how that works yet?” I not so politely responded that we had been trying for over 4 1/2 years and had some struggles, in a few more worsa. He immediately shut up and felt like a dick.
Me (33). DH (37). DD (2.2012). MCs x4. After 4 years & 7 months, due 4.2018!
Also, I feel like I can't be frustrated without it being because I am pregnant. I hate that people think they can say anything to a pregnant woman.
I haven't has any comments this pregnancy.. yet. However with my first I definitely did. I had this 60ish/70ish year old security guard that I would see on my way out of work everyday and he would tell me that he wanted to take me to the hospital when I went into labor and that he wanted to visit me...and it wasn't in a grandpa sort of way. He was hitting on me!!!! Ughhh! When I came back from maternity leave I was very avoidant of joining in any conversation with him and then one day he stopped me and said "I knew you'd change after having the baby." As if I had fallen out of love with him or something...so creepy!! It was so crazy and we only had one exit in our building so I had to pass him everyday. I finally reported his ass to HR and he was gone the following day. Thankfully he was contracted so it was an easy process to get rid of him.
I also had another man comment on my size every freaking time I saw him. And the funny thing is he had a large gut bigger than my belly. One day we were walking down the hallway from opposite ends of each other and he made the comment that he should move to the other side of the hallway cause I was so big and needed to make room. I come red back by saying "oh well then I should do the same for you!"