TTCAL 10/19

holly321

This is a general trigger warning that CP, miscarriage / spontaneous abortion, selective abortion due to medical complications, and / or stillbirth may be mentioned.** 

Introduce yourself and anything you think is important: number of loss(es), when you had the loss(es) , diagnosis / conditions surrounding loss, etc.
Status:

How are things going? What is something that you are struggling with this week? What is going well for you this week? R/R?

Any testing coming up/any recent results?

GTKY:   What is your favorite dessert?

starla

Introduce yourself and anything you think is important: number of loss(es), when you had the loss(es) , diagnosis / conditions surrounding loss, etc.
Two late first tri MMC

Status:
WTO; CD4

How are things going? What is something that you are struggling with this week? What is going well for you this week? R/R?
I had a shit day at work. I also saw a pregnant lady today that reeked of pot so there's that. Otherwise OK. 

Any testing coming up/any recent results?
Nope. Nothing from the doctor on my PAP and all BW came back normal. I'm going to pass on the HSG and biopsy for now. 

GTKY:   What is your favorite dessert?
This is a tough one. I love pumpkin pie, ice cream/gelato, cheesecake, and tiramisu. Also a plain square of delicious chocolate is sometimes enough. 

holly321

Introduce yourself and anything you think is important: number of loss(es), when you had the loss(es) , diagnosis / conditions surrounding loss, etc.
MMC 2/12 MMC, molar pregnancy, turned gestational trophoblastic neoplasm...8/17
Status:
benched
How are things going? What is something that you are struggling with this week? What is going well for you this week? R/R?
Today, pretty good.  The last two weeks have felt hopeless, I can't remember what all I have posted... But 2 weeks ago I had severe bleeding again, went to my OB, he said my pathology report  came back from a 3rd hospital, was highly suspect of choriocarcinoma, he checked my hcg and it went up from the 3000s to the 4000s, so I saw an gynaecological oncologist last week, had another d&c (still waiting on pathology to see if it is indeed choriocarcinoma) and started chemo.   So, it seemed hopeless. My OBgyn continues to be optimistic and assures me we will eventually be able to try again, probably 3-6 months after chemo.  Well, yesterday my HCG was 104! (Hcg returning to 0 means tumors are gone)  So I will probably only have to do a few more injections of chemo.   Either way, if the report shows choriocarcinoma, it is incredibly curable, and won't really change anything.  Some Drs consider any gestational trophoblastic neoplasm to be malignant, so I probably have a form of cancer, we just don't know which, and my doctor said we may never have a true answer.

Tldr. Most likely I have super curable cancer, by it is almost gone and we will be able to try again within 6ish months.  
Any testing coming up/any recent results?
I have weekly blood work and hopefully will get pathology tomorrow.
GTKY:   What is your favorite dessert?
probably chocolate mousse.  I don't get it nearly enough.
@starla , I was eating gelato as I read your post.  Seeing pregnant women is so hard, but so much worse when they are doing something like smoking when they shouldn't.    

kindbytealikat

@holly321 I've been thinking about you. Know you are in my thoughts. 
@starla that is brutal and frustrating. Before I got my BFP(the one I lost) I was at a baseball game having a beer with DH and a pregnant woman was standing in line with her S.O. and started bitching to me about not being able to drink because of being pregnant. Note I have a BFN that morning and was trying to prepare myself for C3. 

Introduce yourself and anything you think is important: number of loss(es), when you had the loss(es) , diagnosis / conditions surrounding loss, etc.
Status: First tri MMC 8/17

How are things going? What is something that you are struggling with this week? What is going well for you this week? R/R? It's been an interesting week. We're officially trying again and i'm still up and down about being ready. In my D14' BM group one of the mom's is pregnant and is due one week after I was. We were breifly in the Apr 18' group on here together too. Anyway, our group still does hump day bump day every Wednesday to post pics of our littles and any pregnant moms. She posted her first bump picture this week and it gutted me. To top it off it sparked my curiosity and I went and lurked April 18' and realized that a number on the board already know boy/girl from blood test and what not. I don't know why I went there and I shouldn't so that has been lingering in my head. There are a total of 4 mom in my Dec 14' group that are pregnant and three have been since my MC. Sorry I know that was a novel ty for listening 

Any testing coming up/any recent results? NADA

GTKY:   What is your favorite dessert? I'm going with ice cream but I love all sweets. 

SmashJam

Introduce yourself and anything you think is important: number of loss(es), when you had the loss(es) , diagnosis / conditions surrounding loss, etc. Can't remember if I intro'd here when I first joined, so I am gonna bust it out again. Gave birth in December 16 to a little girl with a hear defect who only was with us 5 days. 
Status: WTO in CD2 starting Cycle 5

How are things going? What is something that you are struggling with this week? What is going well for you this week? R/R? 
Possible TW (positive test mentioned)
Oh man. I was doing pretty good but struggling today. I was pretty sure this was my cycle (aren't we all?) and started bleeding a day early and in the middle of the day Wednesday which is weird for me. It was pretty light and yesterday did get a little heavier so I took at test. Imagine my excitement when it was POSITIVE-but it was a frer digital and it was a yes+clock-didn't find out until yesterday night that meant faulty, not pregnant. I am not actually pregnant, confirmed with two other tests and much heavier bleeding and cramping, along with a dip below my coverline today. I spent the entire day thinking I was pregnant, confirmed with a lot of other signs! I even started contacting doctors to get confirmation and will now have to call back. It was a bit of a roller coaster. So back for round 5!

Any testing coming up/any recent results?

GTKY:   What is your favorite dessert? cupcakes all the way. 

starla

@holly321 I'm so sorry you have to deal with that. Cancer is so scary. It's good to hear that yours is super curable and is already disappearing. 

@kindbytealikat It's tough to see people move onto their next BMBs or having their second (or third) when you're still trying for a first. I keep having to remind myself that it's not a race. 

@SmashJam I'm so incredibly
sorrt for your loss. I'm sending my condolences and hugs. I know that her birthday coming up will probably be tough on you so please reach out if you need to talk or vent. We're here to listen and support. ETA: That sucks about the fake out!

CraftyG

@starla I hate that so much, I try not to be a judgemental person but when I see a pregnant woman who stinks of weed or a mum pushing her pram while smoking it just makes me so angry at the world.

@holly321 I don’t even know what to say, I am so sorry, the world really does suck sometimes.

@kindbytealikat I do the exact same thing, I stalk the boards that I would have been in and temporarily forget and then it hits me. I know I shouldn’t but I just can’t seem to help myself and I loved the ladies on my last board.

CraftyG

Introduce yourself and anything you think is important: number of loss(es), when you had the loss(es) , diagnosis / conditions surrounding loss, etc.
Two pregnancies, two losses. One at 13 weeks January 2016, one at 9 weeks October 2017. 

Status: Benched

How are things going? What is something that you are struggling with this week? What is going well for you this week? R/R?
I have to take a hpt next week to ensure it’s negative so I picked some up today and I just want to take it now. It’s only been two weeks so I’m sure it will still say positive and I’ll just torture myself thinking that I didn’t really have a miscarriage when I did. I should have just bought some next week so it didn’t tempt me but I’ve been dealing so well I didn’t even think twice about it.

Any testing coming up/any recent results?
Hpt next week if I can hold out till then.

GTKY:   What is your favorite dessert?
Oh lately I’ve been really into desserts, I may have eaten half an Eton mess last night with some wine and I can’t wait to do the same tonight.

SmashJam

back for tags while I take a break from PULLING TICKS OFF MY DOGS. I mean, they weren't embedded but still. 7 ticks so far I keep waiting for more to show up on their faces. 

@holly321 what an ordeal! My thoughts and prayers are with you, you seem to have a super positive attitude about this! I'm glad the situation is already getting better. 

@CraftyG and @kindbytealikat I also stalk boards. Its so hard not to because I am always at the END of the month due date wise if I got a positive so I want to be up to date IF it happens, but then I get sad. 

Also all these dessert questions are making me crave them! Yum.

kindbytealikat

@starla I’m actually working on my second not a first. None the less it’s hard because the mom from DS BMB FB Group have has/conceived 2,3 or 4 with no issues. I just never imagined #2 would be difficult since DS came easy. I’m losing hope that 3 is going to happen just because of timing. 
@SmashJam I’m sorry you find yourself here and sorry about the false +

holly321

Thanks for all the kind words.  

@kindbytealikat, that is hard with he HDBD, I keep stalking April18 and need to stop.  

@SmashJam, hugs... Faulty tests are the worse.  I had a frer look positive in February, it was terrible.  And sorry for your loss.

@CraftyG, can you get your doctor to do labs?  The thought of taking a test is awful.  Plus, given my situation not having numbers followed makes me worry.  But my situation is rare....

toastedmallows

@starla: Seeing someone who doesn’t take care of themselves while their pregnant is hard. There were women who reeked of smoke at my OBs. I do like your dessert choices. 

@holly321: That’s a lot to be going through. I’m glad your HCG is going down, though. Definitely will be keeping you in my thoughts.

@kindbytealikat: Sorry about the tough week. I feel you on lurking the BMBs. 

@Smashjam: I’m sorry for your loss. Having the false positive is an awful mind game to go through and I’m so sorry you’re dealing with that right now. 

@craftyG: I second asking your doctor for labs. 

Introduce yourself and anything you think is important: number of loss(es), when you had the loss(es) , diagnosis / conditions surrounding loss, etc.

1st tri MC in August; low Progesterone; MTHFR mutation

Status:

Benched another cycle or 2

How are things going? What is something that you are struggling with this week? What is going well for you this week? R/R?

Things are going okay. I’m over analyzing my chart and doing a lot of research. I have to keep reminding myself that even if I had known I had low progesterone, supplementing may not have helped. The what-ifs are awful. 

Any testing coming up/any recent results?

Testing sometime in late Nov or early Dec. Checking lining and possibly some BW for hormone levels.

GTKY:   What is your favorite dessert?

I like tiramisu, preferably when it isn’t overly sweet. Or a brownie sundae works too.

dpjennifer

holly321  I'm sorry for everything you're going through. I'm glad that the hcg dropped and hope it continues to drop. 
SmashJam Eww... ticks gross me out!
kindbytealikat definitely do NOT lurk BMBs. It's a good way to feel miserable about your own situation. Really sucks to see people so easily PG and happy when you're not doing well. 

Sorry all, don't feel much like updating. I've got some sort of sinus thing that's making me feel blah! But I wanted to check in and say Hi and that I'm thinking of you all.

kindbytealikat

@dpjennifer I hope you feel better soon

starla

@kindbytealikat Yeah I know. Sorry! I was just trying to say it's hard when others get KU so easily. 

@dpjennifer I hope you feel better soon!

@lunapup It was not your fault. You couldn't have known what was going to happen or how to prevent it. I hope you get some answers. 

CraftyG

@holly321 @lunapup I did ask but they won’t do labs unless there’s an issue and as it seems to be straightforward they won’t see me again unless I test positive after four weeks.

Speaking of which I of course woke up yesterday and my first thought was I gotta pee on a stick! So I did, thinking it would still be positive but it was negative already. So I suppose that that’s a good thing as I won’t have to have another d&c which was awful last time. I just feel weird, like on one hand I’m so grateful that it’s all over without any complications but on the other it just feels really final now. Ugh I need a drink.