March 2018 Moms
justkeeptrying
member
How far along are you?
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PGAL Check In (week of Oct. 18)
justkeeptrying
member
This is a safe space for those who are pregnant after a loss. General TW for this thread.
How far along are you?
Any appointments coming up?
How are you doing? (Dear diary posts and venting are welcome and encouraged here)
GTKY: What is your occupation?
Re: PGAL Check In (week of Oct. 18)
@justkeeptrying thanks for keeping this group going... finally feeling unmistakable baby too! Yay for us!
Zane William 9/17/03
Vance Xenophon 5/17/06
Mars Florencio 11/15/16 - 3/6/17
Nova Marsela 3/14/18
20+5
My anatomy scan was Monday—it’s definitely a boy. And my next regular appointment is next Thursday.
I hope I remember to ask about what position my placenta is in next week. I’m just curious.
I’m still struggling with all the references to this being my second child. There’s no normal way to talk about the babies that you lose and it’s just an awkward little twinge that I get every time it comes up.
Also, any other stm+ want to reassure me that the soreness with my bump and general uncomfortable feeling is normal? Between ICU trips and losing my grandfather last week during my flight back home after visiting family for a week, I am a little concerned that stress is causing me to have more symptoms.
I worked in banking and customer service for about a decade before MH and I spent 3 years in England. Now I’m a SAHM and thinking I want to start my own photography/design business eventually.
@senora76 that’s a pretty great job! My cousin worked for Disney World in FL for over a decade and now is self-employed and they contract for her to do jobs on a semi-regular basis still. So fun and lots of perks. MH and I joke that’s where we will work when he retires.
ps, I’m glad you are getting more movements too!
Zane William 9/17/03
Vance Xenophon 5/17/06
Mars Florencio 11/15/16 - 3/6/17
Nova Marsela 3/14/18
I’m a SAHM, but I do have my K-8 teaching degree and license. That I’ve yet to use...... Ah well, maybe someday.
@mdfarmchick I’ve also felt that my belly is heavy and sometimes bruised feeling, but I have the same feeling in my pubic bone, too, so I’m just hoping it’s from all of the growing going on..
@chasingroygbiv ridiculously constipated here too
Zane William 9/17/03
Vance Xenophon 5/17/06
Mars Florencio 11/15/16 - 3/6/17
Nova Marsela 3/14/18
I’ll check out amazons compression stuff... not a fan of stockings, especially on a 12 hour flight (sounds like torture!) but maybe the knee socks? If you have a pair u loved let me know... I made this same trek when I was 28 weeks last time and was okay...this time ill be 21-22 weeks. But worried traveling prior to viability... but trying to positive...
Zane William 9/17/03
Vance Xenophon 5/17/06
Mars Florencio 11/15/16 - 3/6/17
Nova Marsela 3/14/18
How far along are you?
20 weeks and 4 days
my next OB appointment is Monday and I have a follow up with a cardiologist on November 3rd to talk about my blood pressure, which has been supper erratic, sometimes low enough for me to almost faint and then dangerously high for no apparent reason, also heart palpitations, which are less of a concern.
I went to art school but don't do much with my art work anymore, definitely nothing that makes money. My husband is a hair stylist and we own a salon which I basically manage.
A loss is a loss. It's huge no matter what stage of the pregnancy we are in. At least for me, the second that stick turned positive, I had a baby in me. Losing a child, no matter what gestation or age, you are losing a huge part of yourself. And all the dreams and future plans you had along with it. An early loss is different than a later loss in a lot of ways, and its the exact same in so many other ways. We are here to support each other no matter what. I'm glad you decided to contribute!
I had my appt today and started Makena shots - they do them in the office now - so although its a hassle to come in every week to get a shot, after feeling how painful they are, I could not imagine my husband having to give those to me at home!!! Wow... its still stinging now. I've gained 12lbs which worries me but my dr said im actually slightly under where he'd want me to be - so its not unhealthy... I need to slow it down! Gained 65 lbs in my first pregnancy and do not want to repeat that.
The phlebotomist asked us if this was our first pregnancy...it was the first time I heard DH answer this question... He said no its our 2nd, without flinching... it made me happy that he was not sweeping anything under the rug. I then corrected him and said, "its his 2nd but it's my 4th"
Zane William 9/17/03
Vance Xenophon 5/17/06
Mars Florencio 11/15/16 - 3/6/17
Nova Marsela 3/14/18
@senora76 I don’t have a specific brand on Amazon but look up “running compression socks” and then I just picked some that weren’t ugly and had good reviews. The stockings were incredibly uncomfortable and I don’t want to deal with those again. It’s interesting... with my first, he was head down from 17 weeks onward and I don’t remember any of this. I honestly think I need to tone down on the stress right now because I think that will help. Thank you.
My most recent hospital visit was in April when I miscarried my beautiful little Jacob.
I filled out the survey. Mainly because I wanted to praise my wonderful nurse and criticize the medical terminology of a "spontaneous abortion" that the doctor used.
It was painful. I haven't cried over my loss in a few weeks. I miss my little boy, and my little girl I lost a year ago.
So so thankful for this new little one. But having a hard day.
Zane William 9/17/03
Vance Xenophon 5/17/06
Mars Florencio 11/15/16 - 3/6/17
Nova Marsela 3/14/18
They've since changed legislation in our province to implement pulse ox testing for all newborns. That makes me SO happy.
All 3 of my losses occurred consecutively and in the first trimester, but were still so painful. I reacted differently to all 3. 1st loss (11 weeks) I was shocked, devastated, just felt so blindsided and sad. My 2nd loss I was angry, so, so mad. Again? How? Why? That time I was 8 weeks. My 3rd loss I was numb. I was sad, but a part of me felt like.. “here we go again.” Looking back each time I was sad, but my other emotions kind of took over.
You have every right to feel sad about your loss no matter how far baby made it. He/she was your child. I always think of how people say, “everything happens for a reason” and crummy stuff like that, I often think to myself, so if you had to choose between one of your children, could you? Would you be okay and just think “everything happens for a reason!” Every baby is important and matters, no matter how small.
Hugs, welcome to our little community.
Also sending hugs to @justkeeptrying That’s so tough. I get those but by e-mail. I delete them.
Very different, but for me it stings each month when our bills come. Some days I just want to leave it in the mailbox.. write return to sender.. throw it in the garbage. I don’t, but oftentimes it sits for days before I open it and deal with it.
Zane William 9/17/03
Vance Xenophon 5/17/06
Mars Florencio 11/15/16 - 3/6/17
Nova Marsela 3/14/18
@chasingroygbiv , @senora76 , @leilaquinn - "Everything happens for a reason" is the WORST. Every time anyone says that, I want to say, "Really? What was the reason for this?" It's insensitive and simplistic and just awful.
@leilaquinn, welcome. I just started feeling comfortable enough to post myself recently, but I think it's so important and good to be a part of this community. Like @justkeeptrying said, a loss is a loss no matter what, from the moment you see that pink line. I am so sorry to hear about your loss, and hope everything wonderful comes your way in this pregnancy!
@mdfarmchick, I'm also one who struggles with the question of how many kids / is this your first. I wonder if that ever gets easier...
@senora76, I'm sorry life's been so heavy lately. But yay for definite baby movement
@leilaquinn, welcome! I'm glad you've joined us, but I'm sorry you've been struggling lately. Being PAL is just hard, and it is so good to talk with people who understand.
@justkeeptrying, I'm sorry you had to deal with the hospital survey. The reminders feel so cruel, even though no one means to be hurtful. Hugs.
@chasingroygbiv, thanks for sharing about your losses and the differing emotions. I can only imagine the emotions a second or third time ... although I have spent some time imagining them. I definitely tried to get less attached to this baby in the first trimester - and for the most part, succeeded. Partially because I was too afraid to really watch during the ultrasounds. Regardless, no matter how unexpected or not a loss is, and whatever the main emotion seems to be, I imagine it still cuts equally deep.
@ashtuesday, oh, I can relate to the ups and downs and appointment anxiety you described. I'm glad the doppler is giving you some peace of mind!
I’m really sorry that you had to experience that and that you are still dealing with it now. Hugs.
Huge hugs!
Zane William 9/17/03
Vance Xenophon 5/17/06
Mars Florencio 11/15/16 - 3/6/17
Nova Marsela 3/14/18
”everyone has a conversation piece at a party... whether they are vegan, have adopted children, went to medical school or lost a child. DO you really want to be the person who brings up the dead baby?” (He was awful)
but sometimes, I really DO want to be the person who brings up the dead baby because she’s such a big part of my life. DH has a way of seamlessly bringing Leah up without making anyone uncomfortable but more so in the proud dad way. I guess I’m just envious of his communication skills.
Its tough because I WANT to bring her up, I just don’t want to have the conversation.