UO Thursday 10/12

sunshineandwhiskey

Here we go...

marcus7676

Ha. I wonder who will start us off after last week . . .

sunshineandwhiskey

@marcus7676 I think everyone is sitting back and waiting - including other BMBs 

tepr14

Im mad I missed out on last weeks UO...but part of me is kind of happy I did for my own sanity.

Anyway I'll bite and start off simply I'm not a bin fan of pumpkin spice anything or coffee.

Amphibious22

I'm not sure if this is an UO around here or not, but I got in a huge fight with my mom about it last night..

My UO is that I plan on cloth diapering because I think using disposables is super bad for the planet. 

krash_

I don't really like Harry Potter, Star Wars or GoT. Really anything sci fi, geeky, or fantasy. I haven't even seen any Star Wars of GoT and I have no desire to.

izza2

@Amphibious22 - I debate with H about cloth diapering all the time. He's 100% against it because he thinks it's gross, but come on... we used to clean up dog poop on the regular. It's so much better for the environment and saves so much money.

tepr14

@Amphibious22 DO IT! Started to cloth diaper for DS around 6 months and I have no regrets. It was a bit overwhelming at first because of so many different options and terms. Honestly I watched a number of youtube videos to get an idea of things. We did start out doing it part-time (mostly when we were at home) then as we got more comfortable we did it full time.

I don't understand how that can be a point of argument? I understand there are a lot of people who think its gross (H and our families) but wow. Way to stand your ground!

krash_

@Amphibious22; @izza2 part of me wants to cloth diaper and part of me is like that is WAY too much work. I haven't done a ton of research yet but I want to try to find diapers that have better materials that are more biodegradable. Wishful thinking?

tepr14

Love seeing all the considering for cloth diapers right now. @izza2 You're absolutely right about the dog poop. I used the same argument with my H...plus saving money.

@krashke It's really overwhelming at first, and with all the information I was reading it made me want to back out. Once you get started though you begin to get used to it. If in the end you opt not to don't stress it's not for everyone.

dinodna3

@izza2 Invest in a diaper sprayer that attaches to the toliet. It makes cleaning up poop a breeze and it seriously comes in handy when you have to clean poop out of the tub! 

doxiemoxie212

Amphibious22 said:

I'm not sure if this is an UO around here or not, but I got in a huge fight with my mom about it last night..

My UO is that I plan on cloth diapering because I think using disposables is super bad for the planet. 

I completely agree it's bad for the planet, buuuut here's my UO (in a spoiler because I really don't want to go down the road of any moms feeling like they're being shamed for the choices they make. Environment, cost, health are all valid choices. I just want everyone to have all the information because I don't think I would have known what I know if I didn't have the background I have. So again, not trying to shame in any way, and I hope I've phrased this to support that intention, but apologies in advance if I failed on that front.)

I did scientific communications for a few yeas for a diaper company, specifically working with pediatric dermatologists on clinical studies, and cloth diapers are actually not great for baby's skin health. 

If you think about it, it makes sense. If you mop something up with a paper towel or a dish rag or anything like that, you mop up the mess, but the rag you used stays damp, right? Well, that dampness stays against baby's skin, but the dampness has a crazy acidic pH plus loads of bacteria because it's pee/poop. Baby's skin is SO much more sensitive than adult skin, and it really weakens their skin barrier making them super susceptible to really bad diaper rash, etc. Plus it's sort of uncomfortable to have something wet against your skin - anyone sit for a long time in a wet bathing suit? Blargh. Diapers have these little sort of gel beads inside them that actually trap moisture and lock it inside, so that the diaper is still dry to the touch on the inside even though it's wet. 

That said, every baby is going to have a different level of skin sensitivity, and every parent is going to have a different lifestyle allowing them to change diapers immediately or not, etc. I think my personal advice would be consider using one disposable overnight diaper once baby can sleep through the night so they're not sleeping with waste against their skin, but I'd also love to hear from moms who have used cloth diapers in the past how they've overcome these hurdles - do you find you change baby in the night and just try not to wake them up? etc. 

Seriously, everyone do you re: cloth diapers.  Just want everyone to have all the info.

(And I know lots others chimed in on this, just quoted @Amphibious22 because she started the convo, and I'm lazy re: tagging everyone else  )

krash_

@tepr14 ; @dinodna3 not to get off topic because we will probably have a whole discussion around this at some point but if you cloth diaper do you find it harder for family or baby sitters to want to change the diaper?Or do you just use disposable when other people are watching the babe.

lalalaj

I just got my BFP on Fri, so I missed last week... Was the thread deleted? I can't seem to find it...

dinodna3

@krashke My family didn't seem to care much at all about it. I would use disposables when I know my ILs were going to be watching LO without me because they had a hard time with the snaps. 

sunshineandwhiskey

re: cloth diapering - I know some daycare's won't cloth diaper

goldenlola

I also missed last week. Bummer! Kudos to those who cloth diaper. It's most definitely not for me.

I'm with you @krashke I have zero interest in any of those movies, books, series etc.

My UO, stemming from my BMB from when I had DD. I don't agree with being sarky to people if they can't be a part of the conversation every single day. I feel if members are being supportive when they can be, giving instead of just expecting others to give to them all the time, it shouldn't matter if they're in every conversation or pop in once a week to check in with everyone. We all have different schedules, jobs, duties etc. some times it's hard to stay on top of conversations (especially if this grows to the size that BMB was).

Amphibious22

I love all the support for cloth! @tepr14 my mom is a super huge germaphobe so the concept of reusing something that had poop on it is too much for her. Also she's grossed out about putting poop in the washing machine. I work with animals for a living, poop is just part of my life. 

@doxiemoxie212 thats really good info. Obviously since I've never done it, there would be some kinks to work out but from my research, it sounds like there are different fabric choices for inserts. Some of them have the damp feeling on the baby and some are more stay dry. 

izza2

@goldenlola - The problem with that comes when people pop in just for support, maybe reply to one thread, and then disappear for however long until they need to pop in for support again.
If the only reason you find your way back to the BMB is because you want to complain about your nausea, then you're not interested in building a relationship, you're interested in complaining. In those instances, snark is definitely more than appropriate.
99% of the time those same people are the ones who don't use the weekly threads that are started and want to be AWs who start their own threads for everything.

I don't think anyone expects everyone to be online and able to chat every single day. But it gets obvious pretty quick who's interested in building connections, and who's just interested in drama or being the center of attention.

krash_

@goldenlola I don't think anyone is expected to be posting every day. Some people do and some people don't but exactly what @izza2 said its when they are basically drive-bys.

I also think the snark is more than appropriate when the question is something that can easily be googled or should be asked of your OB. We are here for support and to build a community not to be anyone's dr or search engine. You (as the in the people asking one off questions) are going to be or already are a parent, you should be a little self sufficient to find these answers on your own. 

goldenlola

@izza2 No I agree 100% with what you're saying above. I think they should definitely provide support and not just come, be an AW and leave. That's why I noted:

 I feel if members are being supportive when they can be, giving instead of just expecting others to give to them all the time, it shouldn't matter if they're in every conversation or pop in once a week to check in with everyone.

doxiemoxie212

agree with @izza2 and @krashke but also want to add that a little bit of proper snark is great comedy, so always appreciated in my book.

(But I think if it veers toward dog piling and being really nasty, that's no longer snark, so different rules apply.) 

goldenlola

@krashke I have no problem with snark. At all. Especially if they're not doing their own research with simple questions. With previous BMB the snark I'm referring to was strictly directed at people who weren't on the BMB every. single. day. So when they came in people had a huge attitude towards them.

ETA: words

tammy574

My uo is I dont love cloth diapering.   I feel like they are huge and babies can’t move freely with them on. The cost isn’t nearly as much for sposies as the polls like you to believe. Kind of like the cost they say it takes to raise a child from infancy. It’s inflated and outrageous. A family of 3 to 4 kids is not spending that much to raise a each kid by any stretch of the imagination. I subscribe and save luvs on amazon for $24 a month and if you add all the cost for cloth (water ,electric ,special soaps, strippers, diapers, covers, special bags, sprayer, sposies for occasion, and time etc.) it is realistically comparable. I know cost isn’t the reason most people do it and I see the point of chemical reduction/dump reduction, for me I’d rather reduce in other, less hard ways I guess! I have lots of good friends who cloth and I love them I just don’t love their babies bums! So I love all you cloth mamas while not loving your babies bums. Which is fine. I mostly only like my own babies bums in general anyway! 

doxiemoxie212

tammy574 said:

My uo is I dont love cloth diapering.   I feel like they are huge and babies can’t move freely with them on. The cost isn’t nearly as much for sposies as the polls like you to believe. Kind of like the cost they say it takes to raise a child from infancy. It’s inflated and outrageous. A family of 3 to 4 kids is not spending that much to raise a each kid by any stretch of the imagination. I subscribe and save luvs on amazon for $24 a month and if you add all the cost for cloth (water ,electric ,special soaps, strippers, diapers, covers, special bags, sprayer, sposies for occasion, and time etc.) it is realistically comparable. I know cost isn’t the reason most people do it and I see the point of chemical reduction/dump reduction, for me I’d rather reduce in other, less hard ways I guess! I have lots of good friends who cloth and I love them I just don’t love their babies bums! So I love all you cloth mamas while not loving your babies bums. Which is fine. I mostly only like my own babies bums in general anyway! 

You are right about the movement. They've done studies, and bulkier diapers do splay baby's legs and make walking/dancing/playing harder as baby grows. Not impossible, but noticeably more challenging, so it's not ideal for hip health. That said, there are definitely bulkier disposable diapers, too, so... 

tammy574

@doxiemoxie212 I have a bff who’s Lo could not roll over for the life of him. Until they figured out he could with his diaper off. Which were cloth. Not a huge deal maybe but something to keep in mind if you cloth.

rnielsen321

My UO is that, in some cases disposables are an okay choice for environmental reasons. I lived in a major city with DD, and we composted our diapers. They went in the green bins. 

Re: popping in and out... I believe if you are supporting the discussion, and contributing (content, support, information, sharing stories) then you can come as often (or not) as you like. However, if you are just looking for validation of something, and not sharing, then.... ya. You need to give... and care and share. 

tepr14

@krashke depends on who is watching him. My family and FIL dont do well with cloth diapers but MIL is great. Its very rare if ds is with someone else though because everyone is always busy/working. If I'm there I keep him in cloth. And @sunshineandwhiskey is right my sons daycare doesnt allow cloth so hes in disposable diapers while hes there. Im flexible about it. 

Last month we went on vacation to NYC knowing we wouldnt be able to change him as frequently as we can here we just kept him in disposable. 

PatientlyWaiting10

I don't think this is going to be all that unpopular but I have been looking at ways to announce today and seen a lot using the the preggo jar.  I CANNOT stand it when people refer to pregnancies as preggo, preggers, KU, etc.  

RatParade

I find it strange when couples say "we're pregnant".  I mean, I get it.  But when we told our families we just said that I was pregnant.  We're both having a baby, but we're not both pregnant.

krash_

@PatientlyWaiting10 I don't like preggers or preggo, but I have a bit of fondness for KU

@RatParade I AGREE!!! If MH was also pregnant, he wouldn't be drinking beer and would be peeing every 5 minutes. I have always thought that was weird so MH knows that WE'RE not pregnant. But I get saying we're having a baby because that is true. 

doxiemoxie212

@ratparade @krashke sometimes I catch myself saying we're pregnant but it's because I made DH promise he wouldn't drink, etc, while I'm pregnant (unless we're trying to hide the pregnancy early on) so I'll say things like, "but we can't drink, WERE pregnant!!!" 

Thank god he wanted kids more than I did or I'd never have gotten him to agree to all my rules lol. 

krash_

@doxiemoxie212 I would have never have been able to convince MH to not drink this whole time. Its not like he's getting wasted every night but I don't mind if he has a beer after work or some bourbon before bed. Although the last couple nights the smell of alcohol has been really pungent. Not necessarily bothersome but more noticeable than usual. 

ETA spelling

RatParade

@doxiemoxie212 My H still drinks.  He feels bad about it but if our situations were reversed you know I'd still be drinking lol.  I get by with just smelling whatever he's having

Dashaina

Me neither. @PatientlyWaiting10. Gives me the crawlies. I had a yoga instructor (she only did pregnancy yoga) had never been pregnant and referred to the baby as "the kid" the entire time. It could have just been pg hormones at the time.. But I really wanted to punch her in the face. Needless to say I didn't attend other classes. Lmao. 

As far as cloth diapering and cost. I know that I am in the total minority with my lifestyle on this BMB... But we have always produced our own electricity (solar and wind) and always collected or harvested our own water (rain here and a spring on the property in VT) and I tend to make my own cloth diapers to hold 1-2 pees, so they stay trim (they're just as trim and the slim disposables,sometimes trimmer) and I've always ordered the separate liners to lay on top that wick the pee away from baby skin (literally they feel dry when the absorbant part is clearly wet) and I find it to be easy, cheap, environmentally friendly (we don't have trash pick up service in the middle of the ocean or in the middle of the forest on top of a mountain in VT a kilometer hike from town) and quite convenient and safe (I sun bleach all of the diaper parts that touch babies skin). I also am not judging anyone else. But for me it works and costs me a total of $100 a year IF I bought a whole new set of the diaper materials I use every year and covers. Which I don't. I love cloth diapering and have used disposables for a short time as well and they are not my favorite (I had many blow outs and only maybe 3 ever with cloth).

For night time @doxiemoxie212 I put my babies on a little potty made a pssss sound and then wrapped them back up in a new diaper if the previous was wet. Sometimes they went pee in the potty sometimes I missed it. Eventually we got into a rhythm. As soon as they woke up I put them on the little potty and almost 90 percent of the time they would go pee. Then we'd have naked time for a few hours (or the entire day, depending on what we were doing) during the day. I'd put them on the little potty throughout and lay them naked on a mat until they became mobile. Then we'd hang out on the tile or wood floor area and I'd just clean up accidents if they happened. Idk for us the skin thing was never an issue. I  diapered them whenever we left the house and changed and tried potty time as often as I could. I started to learn their cues and could tell a majority of the time when they needed to go. I am not saying this works for everyone, but just sharing what we did in case other moms are interested in an alternative. And because of this style of diapering we didn't have to do much extra laundry. 

doxiemoxie212

@RatParade @krashke I desperately miss wine lol so I just feel very jealous if DH drinks without me. Before I got pregnant we had a rule that we couldn't drink wine at home without the other lol. I realize typing it that perhaps that sounds nuts but it's sort of like not watching favorite shows without one another...? Kind of? 

stephcat421

@Dashaina is there anything you don't do? You truly inspire me girl! Wow, I've heard about the potty training from birth. Did you find this process helped your children be fully potty trained sooner?

tammy574

I desperately miss wine too and find myself wracking my brain to try and for sure remember that I am indeed pregnant and no I cannot have it. Over and over. It’s my reward I give myself generally and there is like no other reward that compares. Where is the non alcoholic alcohol????

@Dashaina Your life is so intriguing to me! You live on a houseboat or sailboat? I want to know more.

doxiemoxie212

@tammy574 I tried Seedlip but it did not extinguish my craving. More fun than seltzer tho? Shrug. 

stephcat421

doxiemoxie212 said:

@tammy574 I tried Seedlip but it did not extinguish my craving. More fun than seltzer tho? Shrug. 

Whoa! I've never heard of this but kind of excited about the idea. Thanks for throwing the suggestion out there! I'm sure it's not the same but it's worth a try! Not drinking is a struggle in a state where it's a way of life/right of passage. Should be a long winter....

doxiemoxie212

stephcat421 said:

doxiemoxie212 said:

@tammy574 I tried Seedlip but it did not extinguish my craving. More fun than seltzer tho? Shrug. 

Whoa! I've never heard of this but kind of excited about the idea. Thanks for throwing the suggestion out there! I'm sure it's not the same but it's worth a try! Not drinking is a struggle in a state where it's a way of life/right of passage. Should be a long winter....

BuzzFeed did a video on it (and actual gin) a while back, and Food52 has some recipes using it. I got the spiced one -- it's nice.