Anyone dealing with DH/SO with ED?

ndz2018

I've posted in other groups and thought I'd give this one a go too, so here's  the story:

Im 37 and my SO is 42. We have decided this month will are going for it. I've been BBT for the last 3 months, OPK( got the CBE never got positive on the cheaper ones hoping this one will work) and we are both taking Vitamins ( me PN/him multi), Maca root, zinc, COQ10, and he take vit D as he is deficient he last blood work up. 
SO has been dealing with ED since before we met. It isn't always, last month we BD 3 times without anything! We have been to the urologist( there's physically nothing wrong with him. we even did some penis test where he had to put this thing around it and keep it there all night to see if he had erections while he slept everything came back fine), we went to a sex therapist, and we have gotten medication like viagra they work sometimes and the shots... unfortunately the shots cause him to have a painful erection and it's a little hard(no pun intended) to get off while you're in pain so he couldn't ejaculate with the shots.
He swears there is some disconnect from his brain to his penis, I personally think he gets himself so worked up that it's not gonna work so it doesn't. He is extremely open about it, but feels like he's a failure to me and to himself. Which if anyone else out there is dealing with the same thing I am, it is painful to watch. 
If anyone has any advice or tips it would be greatly appreciated!!! TIA!

ELeighMay

My DH has a different situation, but suffers from ED. Have you been to an endocrinologist? Have they tested him for low-T or high estradiol? There are a lot of factors that can cause ED, but if he's have all the hormones tested and everything is coming back fine I'm not sure what to tell you. Clearly he CAN get an erection, but just can't. 

lulu1180

ndz2018 said:

I've posted in other groups and thought I'd give this one a go too, so here's  the story:

Im 37 and my SO is 42. We have decided this month will are going for it. I've been BBT for the last 3 months, OPK( got the CBE never got positive on the cheaper ones hoping this one will work) and we are both taking Vitamins ( me PN/him multi), Maca root, zinc, COQ10, and he take vit D as he is deficient he last blood work up. 
SO has been dealing with ED since before we met. It isn't always, last month we BD 3 times without anything! We have been to the urologist( there's physically nothing wrong with him. we even did some penis test where he had to put this thing around it and keep it there all night to see if he had erections while he slept everything came back fine), we went to a sex therapist, and we have gotten medication like viagra they work sometimes and the shots... unfortunately the shots cause him to have a painful erection and it's a little hard(no pun intended) to get off while you're in pain so he couldn't ejaculate with the shots.
He swears there is some disconnect from his brain to his penis, I personally think he gets himself so worked up that it's not gonna work so it doesn't. He is extremely open about it, but feels like he's a failure to me and to himself. Which if anyone else out there is dealing with the same thing I am, it is painful to watch. 
If anyone has any advice or tips it would be greatly appreciated!!! TIA!

I’m just here for the QFP

canucklehead123

ndz2018

@ELeighMay YUP, all test come back normal.

lalala2004

@ndz2018 ED is a very frustrating and disheartening experience for both partners, and I sympathize. However, when you say you posted this in other groups, that comes across as you using the women in this community and any others you posted in for their knowledge and experience without taking the time to get to know them and be a part of the community yourself.

If you want to be a part of the community here, you should read the thread at the top that says "Read This First" and follow the norms of the community. If you had, you would have known to introduce yourself in the intro thread and that this question would have been welcome in the questions thread, although a topic of this kind may elicit a larger discussion, creating your own "help me!" thread is discouraged.

As for your question, my DH has experienced performance issues, although not as extreme. Ultimately taking Viagra worked as a confidence builder and soon he no longer needed it. We think it was initially stress related, and then anxiety about having trouble performing just exacerbated it. I'm sure TTC is added pressure, but we have not experienced that. 

ndz2018

@lalala2004 The reason I posted it in this thread is because it was suggested by another seasoned  member. My apologies if I offended anyone

zwink1

@ndz2018 I don't think anyone was offended. It's just that we like to create a supportive community on this board, and therefore like people to make an introduction (so we can get to know you) and take a little time to get to know us before posting personal questions. That way we're all interested in one another's journey, and the seasoned members of this thread don't feel like they're investing their time and energy in someone who will likely never return the investment.

Welcome, and I'm sorry for your situation. I will second the previous posters' suggestions. Has your H seen a reproductive endocrinologist or urologist? Maybe a sexual therapist would provide some insight and support for his anxiety issues.

Edit - A thread and a board are not the same thing.