March 2018 Moms

PGAL check in (week of Sept. 27)

This is a safe space for those who are pregnant after a loss. General TW for this thread.


How far along are you?


Any appointments coming up?


How are you doing? (Dear diary posts and venting are welcome and encouraged here)


GTKY: What's one place you've travelled that you'd love to go back to?
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Re: PGAL check in (week of Sept. 27)

  • How far along are you? 14+2


    Any appointments coming up? Not until Oct. 10


    How are you doing? (Dear diary posts and venting are welcome and encouraged here): Okay. We are announcing to our close group of friends on Friday and I'm getting nervous. Every time we go to announce to someone, I'm terrified that I'm going to regret it later. Even though I know we'd want their support/end up telling them if something happened anyway. My loss date (14+6) is coming up this Sunday and then Monday would have been our due date. So I know this weekend is going to be really hard. We also MC'd our second 2 days after the due date of our MMC. So this whole next week is just going to be a huge trigger for me. 


    GTKY: What's one place you've travelled that you'd love to go back to? I've been to New York twice and would love to go again. There are so many places I'd love to go back to and experience with DH for the first time. 
  • How far along are you?
    19+2

    Any appointments coming up?
    About 3 weeks until my next appt and u/s

    How are you doing? (Dear diary posts and venting are welcome and encouraged here)
    Not great. Bummed about being on a 3rd antibiotic this pregnancy, especially since I’ve read nothing good about the one I’m on now. I’m also still noticing pressure/aches. I’ve taken 3 of 14 pills, so maybe it’s just not working yet and this is still part of BV.. feeling pretty discouraged and nervous. 

    GTKY: What's one place you've travelled that you'd love to go back to?
    I haven’t traveled much, but I do love SoCal right on the Pacific and would go there yearly if it worked. 
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  • How far along are you?
    17 weeks give or take

    Any appointments coming up?
    Today at 11:15. Maybe we can straighten out why they have multiple EDDs for me. Haha. It’s with my OB’s PT though, so we will see. Hopefully he will have the hand held ultrasound and we can get a peek at 2.0

    How are you doing? (Dear diary posts and venting are welcome and encouraged here)
    I always get really nervous and prepare myself for the worst every time an appointment rolls around. I was having inconsistent swimming motions at night in bed but it’s been a few nights so that’s not helping my anxiety. But I only threw up once last week and I only took the Zofran 2 days last week too. So that’s encouraging. 

    GTKY: What's one place you've travelled that you'd love to go back to?
    Just one?? That’s a tough one. I want to go back and road trip through Scotland again. We had so much fun doing that when we lived in England and Scotland was my favorite part of the island. We fell in love. Plus there are tons of little pockets with no cell signal and it is so nice to get away from it all for a bit. 
  • @justkeeptrying that is so hard. I’m thinking of you over the next week. <3

    @chasingroygbiv ugh. I feel like they have been yanking you around with these antibiotics. I hope you get some relief soon—and that the pressure calms down. Do you think it could just be a symptom of having multiple pregnancies?
  • @justkeeptrying So many hugs! Milestones are such a challenge. 

    @mdfarmchick Thanks. I do wonder if it’s not from it being my 3rd (6th) pregnancy, but of course, you know us, PGAL. I was hoping if I had to take another dang antibiotic it would at least rid of that anxiety causing symptom! Here’s hoping it still will...  :/
  • How far along are you?
    15 weeks today

    Any appointments coming up?
    not till October 12 we will be getting a 3D u/s


    How are you doing? (Dear diary posts and venting are welcome and encouraged here)
    after yesterday's good news... actually pretty great :)


    GTKY: What's one place you've travelled that you'd love to go back to?
    british Columbia. It's  the most beautiful place I've ever been
  • senora76senora76 member
    edited September 2017
    How far along are you? 13+4

    Any appointments coming up? Nope.

    How are you doing? (Dear diary posts and venting are welcome and encouraged here) I have to just believe Jose is not a TaySachs carrier for now since its going to be weeks until we know for sure... the chances are unlikely and I realize its just my effed up psyche leaving me feeling so helpless and negative. Today I am 41 and in reflecting on the last year 40 brought me more happiness than I could have ever dreamed of, and also brought me to the absolute depths of tragic despair and sadness beyond words...  ready or not, I'm 41...don't feel like celebrating at all... been a very very heavy time for Jose and I- he and I have both been losing it a lot lately... We were watching this documentary on mail order brides and in the middle of it, Jose just started sobbing and couldn't stop... he missed his family in Spain and he felt so sad for them losing Mars and we miss our Mars... etc. etc.  etc...  all from a mail order bride documentary?!?!  

    GTKY: What's one place you've travelled that you'd love to go back to? I want to see more of Italy... We took a road trip from Barcelona through the South of France into Italy, but didn't make it past the border towns on the Italian Riviera... Would like to see a lot more...  We will be doing another little road trip when we take the kids there in November, but only from Barcelona to Carcassonne (medieval city in the very South of France). So many places I'd love to see, but we end up spending most of our holidays on visiting Jose's family in Barcelona... First world problems, I know LOL

    @justkeeptrying hugs mama - I know how hard these milestones and anniversaries are...and also how you feel about telling people. I've actually kept a secret list of who I've told so far, in case I have to go down the list to tell people this time didn't work out. So pessimistic, I know, but I'm just trying to manage my expectations, I suppose.  
    @chasingroygbiv  they just put me on microbid for a UTI - had never been on it before and I was a bit freaked out - the black and yellow pills looked scary...  I hope you get on top of your infections soon - pregnancy makes me very suseptible too. Come to SoCal and visit me!

    @mdfarmchick  Good luck today!

    @syssa-o jealous of your 3-D - I'm tempted to go to a U/S boutique to get one... we got one with Mars and it was so neat!
    Mama to:
    Zane William 9/17/03
    Vance Xenophon 5/17/06
    Mars Florencio 11/15/16 - 3/6/17
    Nova Marsela 3/14/18
  • @senora76 I know you may not be feeling your birthday, but I hope you have an easy day & find something to enjoy!

    Ive never really known what Tay Sachs is... can they find out if your husband is a carrier?

    i was going to skip the 3D this time but we won't have a/s till November 2 and H's bday is October 14 so I figured why not. 
  • @senora76 Birthday wishes and extra hugs today. Are you anywhere near Santa Barbara? 
  • @syssa-o Yes, they are testing Jose for his carrier status... they are using the blood already at the genetic lab for the Mars genetic panel (they needed our blood along with Mars') and they ordered it STAT last week and even so it takes 28 days... WHY?  I have no idea... its not like they have to culture it so I have no idea the hold up...  Tay-Sachs is a degenerative brain disease not conducive to life past 3 or 4. If Jose isn't a carrier, its off the table... so I just need to believe it is so rare, especially in his demographic, and that he is not a carrier... we wont know for sure for a few weeks now...

    @eller-2 Hit the nail on the head - harder to rest in odds after experiencing a rare loss.  I guess thats why we are all here drawn to this board looking for support in our paranoia!

    @chasingroygbiv I think SB is about 100 miles from me - I'm in the LA area.  You coming this way?


    Mama to:
    Zane William 9/17/03
    Vance Xenophon 5/17/06
    Mars Florencio 11/15/16 - 3/6/17
    Nova Marsela 3/14/18
  • I haven’t checked in here in awhile...

    How far along are you?
    17 w 6d


    Any appointments coming up?
    Anatomy scan on October 9th

    How are you doing? (Dear diary posts and venting are welcome and encouraged here)
    Ever since I started feeling movement I have been feeling much better. Those little flutters are so reassuring.


    GTKY: What's one place you've travelled that you'd love to go back to?
    Bora Bora! Most beautiful place I’ve ever seen!
  • So I had my appointment today and it was with the PA who could have been my mom—and that’s about how the appointment felt. It was really nice. She just chatted with us, took extra time to let DS listen to the heartbeat longer because he was fascinated ((cue my heart melting)). She told me that is the difference in a due date isn’t more than a week, then they won’t change it—but based on the fact that I tested early and with a 50 HCG minimum test, that she feels confident in my date and that I should just keep it. The genetic test results came back and everything was normal so that was great. Plus apparently Charlie is going to have a little brother. We are going to wait until the anatomy scan to tell anyone to make sure that they both agree. I’m just not 100% even though the OB is. Haha. Thanks for all the positive vibes!

    @senora76 Happy Birthday! I’m glad you have found just a small way to let go of some of the anxiety. <3

    @eller-2 where did you guys go in Scotland?? I loved Skye and the western half the most. Greece is definitely on my list too.

    @syssa-o We did the 3D u/s with DS around 34 weeks. I’m tempted to consider it again when we are in the third trimester. I hope you get great pictures!
  • @heatherdubrow Welcome back! Exciting that you are feeling baby flutters... I'm 16wks today and I'm impatiently waiting. 

    @justkeeptrying I'm thinking of you this week as you push past this final big milestone. xo

    @senora76 I can't believe you are still waiting on those results! i feel like it's been so long now.  hopefully soon 

    as for me, 16w today and no appointments until oct16th.... so about 3 wks from now. I've been playing with the idea of going into an US boutique but I am trying to talk myself out of it.... I just haven't seen Baby in 3wks and am having a tough time with waiting another 4 or so until my anatomy scan or 3 for my next Doppler check in. I always feel great for a week or two after my appointments - but then I start to worry again.  
  • @senora76 We got married out there and vacation there fairly often. Hoping for another trip out this Summer depending on how life is. Would be neat to meet up if we get past stranger danger by then! 

    @heatherdubrow Welcome Back! Yay for baby wiggles! 

    @mdfarmchick Congrats on a baby boy! 
  • @heatherdubrow yay for baby flutters! They are the best!

    @bb3vj3n I know how hard it can be to wait between appointments! Maybe you’ll feel some baby flutters before your next appointment and get some reassurance. 

    @chasingroygbiv thanks! If we get past stranger danger and it all works out... I’m not that far from LA and I’d be down for a meet up potentially. 
  • @senora76 28 days?!? Oh you poor thing!!! That's a brutal wait. FX that's the longest it could take but hopefully you will het it much sooner!!
  •  :o  This could be so fun! @mdfarmchick
  • Thank you everyone for your well wishes and support!

    @eller-2, man you are so right with the statistics. I felt like such a statistic after my second loss. Because we were 2 losses in a row, and a second trimester loss. I was that "less than 2%" and I now haaaaate statistics. They are not reassuring at all anymore. 

    @senora76, I know this is a hard day. But I hope you have a very happy birthday!

    @mdfarmchick, yaaaaay for a baby brother!!!!! How awesome is that!!! Eek! I can't wait to find out. I finally convinced DH this week that we should find out at our anatomy scan!!! I feel like knowing is the one thing I can "control" this pregnancy (obviously not controlling the sex but controlling knowing ahead of time). I need some control after our last 2 losses. 
  • @chasingroygbiv & @mdfarmchick LOL on the stranger danger...!  I actually had a meet up with one of the girls from my June 2006 baby group - we had a lot in common and coincidentally both of our babies came 5 weeks early on May 17... back when I was with my ex we were going through Sacramento (where she lived at the time) on a road trip and had a crazy dinner at their place. It was a riot... Our babies we had together were a few years old then and our older kids got along famously... and I might have had WAYYYY too much to drink that night LOL It was a blast and I'd totally be down to meet up with you ladies!  and @mdfarmchick congrats on the healthy boy!

    Thanks for the support everyone... All I want for my birthday is to feel my baby move!  I felt her once last friday, 2x yesterday but nothing else... girl give me a sign!
    Mama to:
    Zane William 9/17/03
    Vance Xenophon 5/17/06
    Mars Florencio 11/15/16 - 3/6/17
    Nova Marsela 3/14/18
  • @senora76 Happy birthday! 

    @justkeeptrying Sending thoughts to you this week. Take some time for yourself. 

    How far along are you?
    16w6d

    Any appointments coming up?
    None for 3 weeks. Trying to get my anatomy scan moved to before my next MW appt because she wants to see it before im 24-25 weeks. And right now its scheduled at 20w1d...and won't see her for 4 weeks after it.

    How are you doing? (Dear diary posts and venting are welcome and encouraged here)
    Doing alright. Hoping to see NO SCH on the US on Oct. 20. And also hoping to see a squirmy, healthy baby. The random flutters are helping. And my bleeding has finally calmed down a lot.


    GTKY: What's one place you've travelled that you'd love to go back to?
    Back to Banff and Whistler. But this time taking the Cross Canada train through the Rocky Mountains.
  • How far along are you?
    13+4

    Any appointments coming up?
    At 16w

    How are you doing? (Dear diary posts and venting are welcome and encouraged here)
    I forgot to take my diclegis last night so I've been puking today. And in general I feel like I might be getting sick. Baby-wise I feel ok - still a little nervous. I need to tell work because basically everyone else knows but as I've mentioned I know my boss is going to say something rude. I think she'll judge me for having three kids because she's very career oriented and I wish I didn't feel embarrassed to tell her but I sort of do for that reason.

    GTKY: What's one place you've travelled that you'd love to go back to?
    Barcelona <3

    DD #1: 2012; MMC: 2014; DD #2: 2015; It's a boy! 3/31/2018

  • Ugh. I really need to remind myself that not all pregnancies end in a loss. Some (most) pregnancies end in a beautiful, healthy little baby. 

    14+3 today and still so incredibly nervous to tell people. Having a second trimester loss last time really took the "fun" out of hitting second trimester. 

    And I know lack of symptoms means absolutely nothing. But this is Day 4 of not puking (woohoo) and I am going a little crazy. Really wish my next appointment wasn't still 12 days away :(
  • How far along are you? 14+4

    Any appointments coming up? Next appointment is Oct 9, boy is it coming up quick!

    How are you doing? (Dear diary posts and venting are welcome and encouraged here) My symptoms are pretty much waking up with a backache, night time headaches, and overall fatigue. It makes me feel like I'm not pregnant, so it freaks me out a little. Sometimes I wish I still had nausea to remind me this is real. Also, I'm looking forward to feeling flutters so much that I think I'm starting to imagine them.  :s

    GTKY: What's one place you've traveled that you'd love to go back to? I'd love to go back to Germany. My maternal grandparents still live there, and it's been years since I've seen them. I'm hoping they can come to visit either for my wedding or baby's arrival, but I've been told that it's unlikely. :(
    BabyFruit Ticker
    **TW in Spoiler**
    https://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/683816

    BFP 6/30/16, MC 8/21/16
    BFP 05/04/17, 5/10/17 Emergency LAP due to ectopic. Right tube removed.

    BFP 07/12/17, ECDD 03/25/18  -  Silver Orion Born 3/23/18
    BFP 09/30/19, EDD 06/11/20

  • Hugs, @justkeeptrying.  I'm sorry you're struggling to rest in the highly probably happy ending, but I get it.  

    @mdfarmchick, I actually only saw Edinburgh on my one trip to Scotland (we spent 2 weeks traveling through England, Scotland and Wales - mostly England - but Edinburgh was my favorite place we went), so I definitely need to return and see more!  Scotland + Ireland is one of the top trips my husband and I hope to take in the somewhat near future, but I'm guessing it will be at least a few years before we make it... 
  • @eller-2 where did you go in Wales? Northern Wales/Snowdonia is amazing too. We didn’t make it to Ireland when I lived in England so I hope to go back someday. :smile: Where did you go in England?

    @SoraLk I hope your grandparents can surprise you or you can find a way to visit when you have the baby. 

    @justkeeptrying yay for four days of not puking! I know it’s hard to let the symptoms go as a reassurance but I hope you start getting some flutters to help you rest easy. <3
  • @eller-2 & @mdfarmchick my head is in Europe -thanks @justkeeptrying for thinking of a GTKY that has my head in the clouds!  All day I have been distracted at work looking at adorable little places in tiny villages in Spain I want to buy - when my older sons are on their own we are planning on moving to Spain with the little one- about 7 years down the road...  Have only seen a little bit of England...  random places too... Shrewsbury mainly... and the lovely Manchester airport LOL... I did venture into Wales - visited friends in Welshpool and saw some of Llanfair... its amazingly green and like a fairytale...  far cry from Manchester haha.  Never been to London...but my teenager has and loved it...  Head is in the clouds today...

    @soraLk Headaches here too - I'm getting them more and more... I'm also getting optical migranes which I've had in every pregnancy... I basically go blind in one side for about 30 min... its very weird.
    Mama to:
    Zane William 9/17/03
    Vance Xenophon 5/17/06
    Mars Florencio 11/15/16 - 3/6/17
    Nova Marsela 3/14/18
  • @senora76, glad it's such a nice distraction for you! Keep your head in the clouds and enjoy it!
  • @senora76 Oh my! Optical migraines don't sound like fun at all, I'm sorry you're also having headaches. :(

    @mdfarmchick I hope so too - My mom does have a history of saying one thing, when in actuality she has a surprise planned, so I have my fingers crossed that now is one of those times.
    BabyFruit Ticker
    **TW in Spoiler**
    https://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/683816

    BFP 6/30/16, MC 8/21/16
    BFP 05/04/17, 5/10/17 Emergency LAP due to ectopic. Right tube removed.

    BFP 07/12/17, ECDD 03/25/18  -  Silver Orion Born 3/23/18
    BFP 09/30/19, EDD 06/11/20

  • @senora76 yay! I vote for everyone to post their favorite “I wish I was here pictures” next time you are having a rough week. Wales is so green and gorgeous. I loved it there. 
  • I'm struggling today.

    I found out last night that my father died. Even though he has been sick for a while, I am in disbelief and shock. Nothing can prepare you for this. We were close and I feel so heartbroken in a way that I know will never go away. He was always, always there for me. I tried to do everything I could to support him and help advocate for him until the very end. 

    I started having cramps a few hours after I got the news last night. Now worried that my sadness and grief are affecting the baby. I happened to have my 16 week blood work appt today for the integrated screening and told my doctor what happened. I asked if they could check me just in case, and they ended up doing the full anatomy scan. So grateful to say everything looked wonderful and the baby is doing very well. 

  • @SoFlaMommie1128, I am so unbelievably sorry for your loss. I can't even begin to imagine what you're going through. I'm glad your sweet baby is doing okay. Please take care of yourself. 
  • @SoFlaMommie1128 I am so so sorry for your loss. Sending thoughts to you and your family. I know we can't do much as internet folk, but if you need somewhere to express some feelings, we are all here.
  • @SoFlaMommie1128 I am so sorry for your loss and there are just no words to make this better. Thinking of you <3 
    Mama to:
    Zane William 9/17/03
    Vance Xenophon 5/17/06
    Mars Florencio 11/15/16 - 3/6/17
    Nova Marsela 3/14/18
  • @SoFlaMommie1128 I'm sorry about your father - sending so many warm hugs your way.  
  • @SoFlaMommie1128 I am so incredibly sorry and I have no words to help you during this time, but I wish I did. Sending all the love <3
  • @SoFlaMommie1128 So sorry to hear about your father, I am thinking of you. I'm also happy the doctor listened to your concerns, and let you have a look at your little one. Please take care of yourself.
    BabyFruit Ticker
    **TW in Spoiler**
    https://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/683816

    BFP 6/30/16, MC 8/21/16
    BFP 05/04/17, 5/10/17 Emergency LAP due to ectopic. Right tube removed.

    BFP 07/12/17, ECDD 03/25/18  -  Silver Orion Born 3/23/18
    BFP 09/30/19, EDD 06/11/20

  • Thank you so much. I really appreciate all the positive vibes and love ❤️ My doctor said it is normal to grieve and I have to go through it, and that these little babies are much more resilient than we think. 
  • I think I just felt some teeny tiny wiggles!!! My PGAL brain really needed this right now! So excited and hoping this is beginning of feeling movement!!
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