Questions for STM+ 9/27

missblaze

tdevlindrye

Is it true that hospitals won’t let you eat in labor? I feel like I’m going to need the energy and am planning to smuggle some food in my purse if this is true, haha. Or I’ll just wait until I’m far along in my labor before I go to the hospital, which seems kind of scary to me...

mauera07

@caeilievalor I believe it varies by hospital. I personally was not allowed to eat, but could drink all the water I wanted. Personally, I wouldn't have been able to eat even if allowed, as labor made me vomit (super fun). I think more and more places are allowing it recently.  

supercoolstephy

@caeilievalor In most cases that I've heard it is true. For my case I was induced so I was not allowed to eat from 12 hours before my induction time, and wasn't allowed to eat while I was in labor, and then I wasn't allowed to eat after the c-section I ended up needing because I needed a blood transfusion because I hemorrhaged, and they wanted to make sure I didn't need to go back in for surgery. So I didn't eat for over 48 hours. I wanted to murder someone.

Now, the 2 times they sent me to the hospital while I was still pregnant they made me wait there for 8 hours after my last meal, which sucked because I was doing NST scans those mornings so I HAD to eat before the scans so he would move for them, before they would even begin creating faux contractions for me to make sure everything was ok... because if I needed a c-section they didn't want me to get sick. Pregnancy is fun.

edit: spelling is hard

bainidhedub

@caeilievalor I was only allowed "clear liquids" during labor, so water, juice, popsicles, I think they'd have given me some jello if I'd asked. I did end up having a c-section, so I was still on liquids only (same as above plus tea and broth soup) for a couple of meals afterward. If I'd realized the rule and known how long it would take, I would have eaten something for lunch before I checked into the hospital. Instead I only had a bagel to eat for the whole day he was born.

steph30032

@caeilievalor the rule for not eating is mainly in case surgery/c-sections are needed I think, although I'm not positive. For me, I was in labor for 18 hours and felt like vomiting the entire time so I wasn't even interested in food. I think for the most part the labor will distract you from the hunger, and just keep in mind, they don't have these rules to be mean. It's to make sure you and the baby are ok and that they can do everything that you guys need with minimal complications. 

missblaze

@caeilievalor When I was pregnant with DD, the hospital in CT indicated that you were not allowed to eat once you were in L&D and the ban on food is due to what @steph30032 mentioned - in case you have to have surgery (food in your stomach can cause you to aspirate). When I went in for my C-section, the docs were all up in arms because I'd eaten ONE BITE of banana hours prior.

tdevlindrye

Ugh, going through all that without eating doesn’t sound fun. But makes sense if aspiration is possible. 

Did anyone wait awhile before going to the hospital? Last time I got waxed, my waxer said she had a lady come to her IN LABOR to get a Brazilian because she didn’t want the Dr.’s and nurses to see her unwaxed. She was literally waxing her DURING contractions.

mauera07

@caeilievalor I went in right away, but only because my water had broken at home and they wanted me to come in.  This time if my water doesn't break first then I plan on waiting a bit before going in. 

KatieEl

@caeilievalor most hospitals won't let you eat as previous posters said, despite it being a questionable practice based on evidence. Some midwife practices will allow it and encourage you to bring granola bars or honey sticks. Again, once you're no longer in early labor you probably won't want to eat. My doula forced some chicken pasta into me at one point before we left for the hospital and if it hadn't have been for her food would have been the last thing on my mind. As for staying at home in labor that's actually pretty recommended for almost all moms (there are a few extenuating circumstances where they want you to come in right away, but that's pretty rare). That's actually why triage exists to make sure you're not there too soon. And if you're trying for an unmedicated birth staying home as long as possible is ideal.

tdevlindrye

@KatieEl I do want an unmedicated birth if possible. How would I know everything is okay though when I’m in labor at home?

missblaze

@caeilievalor As I've said before, I didn't know I was in labor and when I arrived at the hospital my OB found me to be a 7 and I was still comfortable. Soooooooo, I plan on going in as soon as I suspect something is up. But that's not the norm.

mauera07

@caeilievalor depending on the day of the week/time your labor starts you will most likely be in contact with your doctor or midwife. They can answer any questions, even if it isn't office hours you'll be able to talk to someone on call. When you get closer to your due date they should give you information about when to call and what to do. 

auntieraindrop

I just read this article actually: https://www.slate.com/articles/health_and_science/medical_examiner/2017/09/you_shouldn_t_fast_before_surgery.html

It seems like some of those rules are outdated. I'm guessing some hospitals may be catching up. You might ask yours, if you have a tour or birth classes or anything.

burnsmommy27

I was already staying at the hospital when I was induced with DD. So they wheeled me over from the women's unit to L & D. I don't know if that made a difference but they told me I could eat. But once the medicine got in me and I started contracting I was very nauseous. DH kept trying to feed me, he bought me a bag of M & Ms that i never ate. Once they started my epidural I was only aloud water

supercoolstephy

I feel like I wasn't very hungry or thirsty while I had my IVs in but my mouth was so dang dry. After I had DS I just kept telling everyone how hungry I was but they wouldn't let me eat. Oh but don't worry. DH ate, because of course he did. < insert eye roll emoji that doesn't exist on here>

Edit: GD Stephanie. Spelling isn't that hard.

agalvarado

@caeilievalor I was induced and in labor for 43 HOURS and I wasn't allowed to eat anything but clear liquids, juice, water, and broth. Luckily I had packed coconut water in my hospital bag! I had no energy to push when the time came and I ended up having a c section. I'd say, if you go in labor at home and you're baby isn't breech or anything, EAT!!

KatieEl

@caeilievalor in terms of knowing when to stay home/when to go in to the hospital, a doula can be an AMAZING resource for that and one I would highly recommend.  Also, you'll be in touch with your midwife/doctor throughout and they should be able to give you some guidance as well.  I believe the traditional time to go in is 5-1-1 (contractions are coming every five minutes, lasting at least a minute, for 1 hour), but if you're trying to stay home longer they may ask you to aim for 3-1-1 instead.  Also, if contractions are something you can talk through easily and not requiring much concentration, it's probably too early to go in.  There are exceptions (see: @missblaze) but thats a good rule of thumb.

supercoolstephy

I remember not even knowing what a contraction felt like, when I was on the machine they were like, did you feel that? You're having a contraction. I was in disbelief and at a 6 or 7 before the epidural. I have a low pain tolerance too usually and for me, it just felt like he was moving around a lot. 

steph30032

@missblaze I also didn't realize I was in labor till about 3-4 hours in. My water partially broke at home, but it was such a little about of liquid, that I assumed I had just peed my pants (since I was doing that all the time towards the end). I was only 2cm dialated when I got to the hospital, but by then I was contracting and they were bad and that's how I knew to go in. The doctors were all concerned since it had been hours since my water partially broke and they were worried I had gotten an infection. I didn't thank goodness, but like you said, I'm going in as soon as I'm suspecting labor this time. 

mrsc12414

Water and ice chips is all they allowed me. I was also induced with my last baby so I also couldn’t eat 12 hours prior. I puked with my last birth too food was far from on my mind. Once she was here though they let me eat immediately if I wanted (and I did).

lmmjd

Same as most, except that I was allowed to eat something small before going in for my induction. I had a bagel that morning (like 5 am) then nothing other than ice chips until after she was born. The pitocin and I were not BFFs and it didn't work that well for a while, and I was hungry then, but by the time it was working, I didn't even think about food.  However, my mom was in the waiting room with Jimmy Johns on hand for as soon as she was allowed back. (All I wanted most of my pregnancy was a turkey sandwich).

cyanope

I honestly don't even remember if my hospital allowed food during labor or not. But my labor was FAST (six hours from the first contraction to holding DD), so I know I wasn't really thinking about food!

[Deleted User]

I was induced, but I was allowed to eat dinner on Friday (went in at 7pm), then could have breakfast in the morning because I had made no progress overnight. They also felt bad for me at lunchtime on Saturday, so I was able to have a bagel. From then until DD was born Sunday afternoon, I wasn't able to have anything but popsicles, ice chips, and water.

kelk5

FTM here but I brought my SIL her favorite subway sandwich (and one for my bro) when I went to the hospital while she was in labor/had C-section (different births). Both times she ate it as soon as they allowed her to. I'm planning on having someone bring me something for as soon as I'm able to eat afterwards.

madcouplewithabox

It’s amazing to me how such a simple thing like drinking and eating reccomendations are so outdated and not updated in hospitals. It makes me wonder what else has had more research done and hospitals are just sticking to “standard practices” because that’s what they are used to doing. 
One of the reasons I chose my hospital is because they allowed limited food and drink, the other hospital said ice chips. I’m sorry but I’m not laboring for possibly 24 hours on ice chips and then not having enough energy to push and then having to have a c-section because I have no energy... which you told me is the reason I had abstain from food in the first place...in case of an emergency c-section and I have to be knocked under and you don’t want me to aspirate.
Just seems like a self fulfilling prophecy to me. 

Dani0329

@caeilievalor
I went in and got sent home once, so I was really stubborn.  The contractions never stopped from the first time I went in until when I was admitted. My water never broke, but I labored at home for 24 hours.  When I arrived at the hospital I was 7 cm and in pain.  DH said if I didn't call the doctor, he would because I was in the shower for the third time screaming and being stubborn. 

I didn't feel like eating much the day I labored at home, I think I had breakfast, a few snacks and a shake.  I was not allowed to eat once I was admitted. Immediately following skin to skin and breastfeeding, I requested food and ate it down.

Kezzy44

@caeilievalor with my first I went in for a check because I had a lot of fluid leaking and ended up being admitted/induced (had ruptured my water). Because I had not eaten a real meal since lunch, I was allowed to have a real dinner before they started the induction drugs, which I was very grateful for!  I was not in active labor, though, so it may not have seemed as urgent. Then after that I was allowed liquids, broth and water ice. My husband went out and got me Ritas twice! It was a long labor, I can't imagine only have ice chips, though I agree that I wasn't thirsty because of the IV.

mauera07

Has anyone here ever tried sleep training with a young toddler? DS is 16 months and is capable of sleeping through the night (though he doesn't every night). However he cannot just be put down awake. He's no where near an ideal candidate for any kind of cry it out methods, which I'm honestly not really comfortable with anyway. He'll sleep like a champ if he's in bed with me, but that's a habit I don't want to start this close to having another one. Any suggestions for some gentle ways to get him to fall asleep on his own and get better sleep?

agalvarado

@maueraa07 I can imagine it getting harder for you with two little ones!   I sleep trained my daughter at 5 months, cry it out method, I started off with 5 min and let her cry up to 15. She’s been sleeping though the night and falls asleep on her own since then.

Do you do a bedtime routine? Maybe that’s a good start. The routine I’ve been doing with my daughter since 12 months is I give her a bath, dress her, give her half a cup of milk while we read a story, brush/floss teeth and then lights off at 8 and we close her door. She cuddles with her favorite 3 stuffed animals until she falls asleep.

I have mom friends that cuddle their little ones in their room until they fall asleep, you could also try that. Good luck!

steph30032

@maueraa07 I also sleep trained my son around 6 months the exact same way that @agalvarado did. However we switch him to a toddler bed two weeks ago when he was a week short of 2 years old. He was climbing out of his crib constantly and it was scaring me plus with the belly, crib life was hard. Since making the switch my son is impossible to put to sleep. My old routine was story time, singing 3 songs in the glider, then put to bed awake but sleepy. Now that routine just doesn't work. He won't stay in his bed. I mean I get that it's only been two weeks, but naps and bedtime are awful. He just won't stay in bed. He gets out and comes to the living room probably 20 times or even just plays in his room till I go in and yell at him. I've started having to sit on the floor next to his bed and rub/pat his back till he falls asleep. EVERY SINGLE TIME. I hate having to sooth him to sleep for naps and bedtime. I feel like I'm ruining everything I did with sleep training as an infant and making it so he's unable to sleep with out me. 

missblaze

@steph30032 We had to switch DD to a bed around that age for the same reason and we had the same behaviors. I ended up doing what you're doing for a long time until I got pregnant and I realized that I wouldn't be able to continue that when I have a newborn. So since April we've been doing very relaxed sleep training. I know a number of mamas who have had a lot of success with those safety knobs on the inside of the door (the ones that you can open but a kid can't). Then you just toddler-proof the bedroom and shut the door so he can't leave. We never used the knob - she knows that I have one (we use one on the pantry door) and I think the idea of not being able to open the door scares her into staying in bed lol. We also use a reward chart - if she stays in bed she gets a treat at Starbucks on Sunday lol It works for us. We still have some nights when she comes out (but this is usually because she needs to poop and needs help wiping thoroughly). 

mauera07

@agalvarado we have a very similar bedtime routine, minus the being able to put him down awake. He just wants to be held until he falls asleep.

@steph30032 aww that sounds so stressful.  Fortunately DS isn't a climber and has never even attempted to get out of his crib. I hope your son gives in soon! There is nothing worse than difficult bedtimes.  

bainidhedub

Question for the mamas with older kids... wondering if anyone else has encountered this. DS just turned 3 last week. Last night he was in bed, supposed to be falling asleep, when he started crying a lot so I went in to check on him. He was really upset and saying "everybody doesn't care about me. my friends and my teachers don't care about me."
There was some back and forth - I couldn't tell if he picked it up from a tv show (he says "this is all my fault" a lot - thanks PJ Masks), or somebody said something, or it was just from being the birthday boy at school on Friday and nothing special today - and I tried talking through all the things his friends and teachers do that shows they do care, and telling him how much his dad and I care. But he was still stuck on it and kept calming down but then getting upset again.
I asked him who said that and he said "I did" so I ended up telling him it was just a bad idea that snuck into his head and made him sad, and we told the idea to "go away" because we know it's not true. That seemed to work and he calmed down, but I'm kind of bothered by the whole episode. I don't know if it's a normal developmental thing or some

lmmjd

@bainidhedub My daughter will be 3 in November and has recently started saying similar things.  We were driving to school one day and she said, "Nobody loves me. You don't love me. Grandma doesn't love me. Ms. ____ doesn't love me." I just reassured her that everyone loved her.  Then, about a week or so ago, she told me she was going to die the following day and that I had to live a long life.  I was a complete mess and freaking out.  People asked if she'd been watching anything where someone dies, and she had just been watching Pocahontas and asked me why Kocoum dies. Most people reassured me that these are normal things for kids to do and say at this age. I know this isn't all that helpful, but I am right there with you!

BelhurstBride

@maueraa07, I could never bring myself to do CIO and cuddled with my girls as long as they needed. 

DD1 was my incredibly needy baby and toddler. We used No Cry Sleep Solution strategies with her, and while I was pregnant with DD2, worked on having DH being her primary nighttime caregiver so she didn't feel slighted when DD2 arrived. 

Now she's 7 and those first few difficult years are a far distant memories- and it's hard to get her to sit and cuddle with me at all! 

@bainidhedub, DD1 went through a phase where she picked up some rather dramatic behaviors from TV. We seriously cut down TV.

steph30032

@missblaze I'm happy to know I'm not alone in this. I have actually locked my son in his room a few times (with the baby lock that's on the outside of his room) but he never seems to mind. He just sits on the floor in his dark room, and flips through his books till I get annoyed and go put him back in bed. Since he's so young, and is actually still not talking yet (he's in speech therapy), I honestly don't think a sticker chart or reward system would click with him just yet. 

supercoolstephy

@steph30032 DS is in him room, in a toddler bed, with the plastic door locks too. I think he forgets at night that he isn't in a crib because he doesn't get out of it at night or in the morning or during naptime until I come back in. It's really the strangest thing ever because I'll come in and he'll get out at that point. 

missblaze

Sorry to re-awaken this thread but I need help. I really suck at drawer organization. What do y'all do with onesies? I have a ton of plain white onesies but I don't know how I want to organize them in the dresser. Any tips?

cyanope

@missblaze, I "roll" my onesies. It keeps everything pretty tidy, and I can see all of them at once since they're not stacked on top of each other.