TTCAL check inweek 9/25

kindbytealikat

**This is a general trigger warning that CP, miscarriage / spontaneous abortion, selective abortion due to medical complications, and / or stillbirth may be mentioned.** 

Introduce yourself and anything you think is important: number of loss(es), when you had the loss(es) , diagnosis / conditions surrounding loss, etc.
Status:

How are things going? What is something that you are struggling with this week? What is going well for you this week? R/R?

Any testing coming up/any recent results?

GTKY: If you had $100,000,000 to spend but could only buy things starting with the first letter of your name(or SN if your more comfortable) what would you buy?

kindbytealikat

Introduce yourself and anything you think is important: number of loss(es), when you had the loss(es) , diagnosis / conditions surrounding loss, etc.
MMC 8/22/17, D&C 8/29

Status: Benched until I'll find out tomorrow 

How are things going? What is something that you are struggling with this week? What is going well for you this week? R/R?
This week is tough . I have my D&C follow up with my OB tomorrow and DH is OOS for work training. He asked me if I should move the appointment when IRMA changed his trip but I said no I'll be fine. I was lying to myself there and I sorta knew it but didn't want to seem weak I guess. Well I'm not okay and I'm already in tears about tomorrow. As far as going well I'm looking forward to getting a timeline tomorrow.

Any testing coming up/any recent results?  See above post surgery FU

GTKY: If you had $100,000 to spend but could only buy things starting with the first letter of your name(or SN if your more comfortable) what would you buy? I'm an A which is a difficult letter IMO. Airplane

mirizzi&A

Introduce yourself and anything you think is important: number of loss(es), when you had the loss(es) , diagnosis / conditions surrounding loss, etc.
Status: I didn't re-intro to TTGP, since I've only been gone for 3 weeks or so. I had a BFP Sept 5, then a miscarriage Sept 23 2017. I'm still miscarrying. I went to the ER for bleeding over the weekend. Had a serum BHCG which was too low for my dates, and an ultrasound which didn't show an intrauterine pregnancy (making me think I'd miscarried earlier, and just had a delay in the bleeding starting). I went alone, since I *TW       have a toddler that my husband stayed home with   *end TW. The hospital I went to is the one that I work at (only option), and I ran into my colleagues while waiting. Because it's the ER, your name and presenting complaint go up on the ER status board I can't help but wonder how many of my colleagues now know. A friend's wife was the radiologist who read my ultrasound, and told me that I had miscarried. She was kind and professional, and gave me a much needed hug. The ultrasound tech was lovely. The ER doc was also kind and professional. I couldn't have asked for better care. 

How are things going? What is something that you are struggling with this week? What is going well for you this week? R/R?  It's getting easier, day by day. I'm struggling to let go of the little person I had imagined I was growing. I had hopes and dreams for her/him. Plans. Goals. 

Any testing coming up/any recent results? I had a second BHCG drawn today, 72h after my first. Even though I know for sure, I guess it will be confirmation of what I already know. 

GTKY: If you had $100,000,000 to spend but could only buy things starting with the first letter of your name(or SN if your more comfortable) what would you buy? I'd get to buy a motorized bicycle!

holly321

Introduce yourself and anything you think is important: number of loss(es), when you had the loss(es) , diagnosis / conditions surrounding loss, etc.
MMC  2/12 and MMC / molar pregnancy 8/17
Status:
benched
How are things going? What is something that you are struggling with this week? What is going well for you this week? R/R?
Things are going well, my morning sickness is finally gone, so hopefully that means my HCG is low!   TW, my SIL invited DH and I to a gender reveal for their 3rd kid.  I don't want to go.  Am I being selfish? Also, SIL in no way has acknowledged that I miscarried.
Any testing coming up/any recent results?
I had another HCG check this week, my doctor is out of the office today, so I should get the results tomorrow
GTKY: If you had $100,000,000 to spend but could only buy things starting with the first letter of your name(or SN if your more comfortable) what would you buy?
a house

ETA,  my OB was in my building and stopped by my office, HCG dropped to 3,000, which he said is great.  I am upgraded to every other week blood draws.   For reference it was 12,000 a week after d&c, high 5,000s a few days later, and now it is 3,000 a week after that!  

holly321

@kindbytealikat, *hugs*. Gl at your appointment tomorrow.  Hopefully you will be unbenched!
@mirizzi&A, sorry for your loss.

zamoraspin

@kindbytealikat I'm sorry, let us know how your appt went today. 
@mirizzi&A I'm sorry for your loss. That is hard that you were in familiar territory but hopefully your co-workers will be respectful and supportive. 
@holly321 You are not being selfish, don't go to the gender reveal if you don't want to. Frankly, I think gender reveals are stupid anyway, but for a third kid? Really?!? F that. 
I'll try to come back another time to do an update. 

ChloandCoco

@kindbytealikat I'll be thinking of you today. I hope your appointment goes well.
@mirizzi&A I'm sorry for your loss and that you find yourself here. But it sounds like the people at the ER really took care of you.
@holly321 If you don't want to go, don't go. You are not being selfish. If you are worried that she will be mad if you miss it, just tell her you have the flu and for her safety, you shouldn't go in case she catches it.

Introduce yourself and anything you think is important: number of loss(es), when you had the loss(es) , diagnosis / conditions surrounding loss, etc. TFAS, 1st loss June 5th (dx blighted ovum), 2nd loss August 18th (dx cp).

Status: WTO cd12

How are things going? What is something that you are struggling with this week? What is going well for you this week? R/R? I'm entering into my fw, and I throughout the day I keep bouncing between being excited and then terrified. TTCAL really messes with everything. I am thankful for the ladies here, you've all been so supportive.

Any testing coming up/any recent results? Nope.

GTKY: If you had $100,000,000 to spend but could only buy things starting with the first letter of your name(or SN if your more comfortable) what would you buy? I would buy a lot of emeralds, entertainment centre, and earrings.

holly321

TW  @zamora_spin, I too, think they are generally stupid.  But, I will say, this situation is a little different.  My nephew (their 2nd child) has complete kidney failure which has found at the anatomy scan.  SIL and BIL went to genetic counselling and was told their next child had 50% chance of reoccurrence, so they decided they were done, so of course they accidentally get pregnant.  So, in no way are they looking forward to the anatomy scan, they are freaking out, so I think they are having a celebration a few weeks later and finding out with the family, when they aren't going to be focused on whether or not this child is healthy.  This adds to me feeling like a jerk for not wanting to go.  End TW

kindbytealikat

@holly321 I wouldn't go either. If she can't understand why that's to hard for you she's being selfish. 
@mirizzi&A I'm sorry you find yourself here.
@ChloandCoco GL this week I get the mixed feelings. I've been thinking about it  a lot myself today and don't know how I feel

Jyoung327

Kind of new, dont mind my semi-awkward waltzing up to a group of people who seem to know each other and throwing in my 2 cents... 


@kindbytealikat   good luck today, hopefully no complications and you are healing up physically (emotionally I know is another story). Im sorry DH couldnt be with you :-( 
@mirizzi&A   that sucks that your personal bubble kind of got blown open since you had to go to the hospital you work at.  Hopefully people are respectful to you, but who knows maybe some of your coworkers knowing will be of some comfort as you go through this?
@holly321  I originally had meaner things to say but read your update about your nephews health.  Its a hard spot to be in, wanting to be sensitive to their fears but also dealing with your own heartache.  Unless shes a totally unreasonable person, I think if you declined to go by just saying its a little hard for you right now with what you are going through, that she should accept that.  Obviously when niece/nephew is born you are going to love it but right now its okay to be "selfish" (you arent) 



Introduce yourself and anything you think is important: number of loss(es), when you had the loss(es) , diagnosis / conditions surrounding loss, etc.:   MMC in Jan 15 (12.5 weeks, baby stopped at 8), Ectopic dx April 2015, ruptured in May after failed methotrexate (lost R tube), MC at 9 weeks (baby stopped at 5/6, no HB), D&C last Friday.  

Status:  Ugh. My OB (who did my surgery FRi, and my surgery in 2015, and *TW  delivered healthy DS in 2016 END TW* ) told me that the research/evidence does not really support that I would have to wait any cycles to resume TTC, and Im mentally just ready (this loss was several weeks coming, really since initial bloodwork it didnt look good), BUT I talked to my RE office today and they are making me wait a cycle, so really its two cycles (two months). Ive waited longer before, bc of the methotrexate (3 months) but Im frustrated at the discrepancy between offices, and i get that its probably better in the longrun, but Im just tired of always being told I have to wait. So, currently benched. 

How are things going? What is something that you are struggling with this week? What is going well for you this week? R/R?    Super stressed/overwhelmed at work, nobody at my office knows about this recent loss, I work with mostly men, nobody would care and it wouldnt change anything.  Otherwise healing fine, dont have a D&C follow up apt scheduled or any bloodwork scheduled, but I dont feel pregnant so Im assuming my HCG is dropping fast. It was 44,000 two weeks ago. 

Any testing coming up/any recent results? My OB didnt set me up for anything soo...thats kind of weird.  My RE doesnt think I need any new bloodwork (did an RPL panel after ectopic showing elevated thyroid antibodies) but when I start my medicated cycle she will add progesterone again. 

GTKY: If you had $100,000,000 to spend but could only buy things starting with the first letter of your name(or SN if your more comfortable) what would you buy?

I am a J so I think thats kind of hard too........jellybeans....love em.  Those new jeeps are pretty beautiful.  Literally drawing a blank on any word that starts with J at this point. 

ChloandCoco

@Jyoung327 I'm so sorry for your loss. There's no women in my office either, so I understand how your work place wouldn't do anything different for you. With my first mc, TMI** I was at work when I gushed blood, and I basically told my boss that I was having a mc and left. When I went back to work a week later, he didn't bring it up or say anything about it. I hope you are able to find some people IRL who can support you, if not, the ladies here are wonderful.

zamoraspin

@holly321 That gives me a better understanding of the situation and I'm sorry they are going through that. I still say, if you don't feel up to it, don't go. You would be going to support them during a hard time, but you can't fill from an empty cup. You may not be in a place to be supportive right now, and that's ok. 
@ChloandCoco I'm sorry you are having a tough ttcal day. I totally get the wide swing of emotions. I won't be at fw until next week but possible TW, I feel like I have a really good chance to get ku this cycle, and then it is such a big question mark what will happen after that. I think we have basically both basically gotten ku every other cycle, right? end TW. 
@Jyoung327 I am so sorry for your losses. Welcome, I know it's not where anyone wants to be but the ladies here are awesome. 

Introduce yourself and anything you think is important: number of loss(es), when you had the loss(es) , diagnosis / conditions surrounding loss, etc. MMC in mid-June (blighted ovum), and CP in August. 
Status: WTO

How are things going? What is something that you are struggling with this week? What is going well for you this week? R/R? Things have been tough kind of all around. Work is super busy to the point of ridiculousness, family is going through some hard times related to my step mom's health issues, and TW, two big pregnancy announcements in the past week end TW. On top of that we started testing with the RE this month so I have had two dr's appts this week. 

Any testing coming up/any recent results? I have already done all my blood draws (CD3, 7DPO, a slew of RPL panel stuff and genetic tests). I also had a CD3 (well, it was CD4) u/s on Monday and then an HSG yesterday. Test results are slowly coming in and we won't be meeting back up with the RE until October 12. Here is what I know so far: all the RPL stuff that's come in so far came back negative (think, auto-immune, etc), I do have slight vitamin D insufficiency (so I ordered some vitamin D), my AMH is 1.93, my antral follicle count (AFC) was 11. Don't know the CD3 bw results (FSH, prolactin). My ute looked normal on the HSG and my tubes were clear (or if there were any blockages they were very minor and cleared with the liquid). Genetic stuff won't be back until next Friday. Basically... it is seeming like there will not be an explanation. 

GTKY: If you had $100,000,000 to spend but could only buy things starting with the first letter of your name(or SN if your more comfortable) what would you buy? Stocks. 

holly321

@Jyoung327, sorry for you loss.  And sorry about the discrepancies between the 2 doctors.  I have been getting similar things from the doctor who did my surgery and my actual doctor.    And the bench is the worse!   I feel so lost and out of control.  I get it is all men, but I know sometimes they are more compassionate.  Is there any you can talk to?
@zamora_spin, I wish you luck with the rest of the test results, so far, if I an understanding sounds like they are good?  But, I know not having an answer is hard, how can you fix something I'd you don't know what is wrong?

starla

@zamora_spin Just popping in to say that I loved what you said about not being able to fill from an empty cup. Also, I hope you find some answers. I'm debating going to a fertility specialist right now. My doctor is going to refer me but I don't want to wait and I am not optimistic that they will find any answers for me. I'll be following your testing to see what they test and if they find anything. FX it's something quick and easy to fix.