Dealing with Male Infertility-week of 9/25/17

JuneRoseRuby

This group is for those of us dealing with male factor issues. Anything from azoopsermia (zero sperm count) to oligospermia (low sperm count) and all the motility and morphology in between. Whether you are recently diagnosed and trying to make sense of it all or you have been dealing with it for years, this can be a place for everyone to share experiences, vent, ask questions etc. I personally have found IF forums more helpful than my doctors have been this far, so MFI ladies (or men! Men are welcome too!): let's come together to discuss all the issues we face such as: how to support your partner during this journey, how you are coping yourself (or not), if you are considering/using donor sperm or adoption, if you have started IUI or IVF w/ ICSI etc. etc.

Trying this out as a weekly thread..

Diagnosis (if you have one):

How long have you been on this journey?

Where are you right now in your treatment?

Any Questions?? 

GTKY: Share a positive moment you've experienced with YH on this IF journey

JuneRoseRuby

Diagnosis (if you have one): virtual Azoo, Robertsonian Translocation

How long have you been on this journey? Jan 2016

Where are you right now in your treatment? IUI with donor sperm

Any Questions??  Should I be doing OPKs for the IUI? 

GTKY: Share a positive moment you've experienced with YH on this IF journey: I picked this questions because I need a reminder this week that even though its been rough lately, there is still good happening in this journey.  When we found out MH results of his repeat SA after the clomid failed, he told me that he didn't want to take away the opportunity for me to be pregnant and have a bio child. We hadn't even decided on donor yet, it was actually off the table but I just thought it was sweet of him to know he knew what it meant to be to be pregnant someday. 

AlohaKumu

Thanks for getting this started, @JuneRoseRuby

Diagnosis (if you have one): Azoo, AZFc microdeletion

How long have you been on this journey? June 2016

Where are you right now in your treatment? Our donor arrives this week! He gets in late on Thursday, so Friday we have non-stop appointments from 8AM-2:00PM. DH and I both took the day off work. The plan is to get his physical done at 8:00, grab some breakfast, and then head to the fertility clinic. From there, our donor will do his FDA-required bloodwork and make the first donation. (I really, really hope it goes smoothly, since we only get two shots at this!) Once that's done, we have to go get our power of attorney paperwork done and the day will end with my baseline ultrasound and the first of my injections. I think we will probably order out that night. Ha ha!

Any Questions?? Not at this moment. I'm hoping I've organized everything well.

GTKY: Share a positive moment you've experienced with YH on this IF journey. We've really be able to have some good talks along the way. It was really devastating when the TESE found nothing, but we took the time to just be with one another and be in love. My husband always tells everyone we are one year into our seven-year honeymoon phase. He is the sweetest.

@JuneRoseRuby Are you getting bloodwork through your clinic with the IUIs? I think you can do OPKs, but generally the bloodwork will give the best accuracy.

JuneRoseRuby

@AlohaKumu I am doing Bw and US, but I haven't had any since I started the clomid. I am heading back in on Wednesday CD 15, and I usually O around CD 18, so I didn't plan on it, but I was a little worried since I was last in on CD2

AlohaKumu

@JuneRoseRuby If it were me, for my own peace of mind, I would use them. It's good that you'll be in there several days before your expected O, but if your cycle is different this month, at least you'll be able to discuss that with your doc with the bloodwork to back it up.

millpe

@JuneRoseRuby I've never done IUI, but I might just for piece of mind. I guess you never know how your body will react. 

@AlohaKumu You have a busy day Friday! Sorry if you have said before, but why do you only have two shots with your donor? It's so exciting that everything is moving forward for you!! 

Diagnosis (if you have one): low count (I never saw his actual numbers? Is that something I should request or just not worry about since I'm not a professional anyway?)

How long have you been on this journey? A month or so?

Where are you right now in your treatment? Waiting for DHs appointment (Oct 27)

Any Questions?? Do you think I should have my Dr put in orders for a repeat SA prior to DHs appointment? Initially they wanted a repeat before his appointment but said nm when they rushed to get him in so soon (which then he missed). But he still has a month before he could reschedule so that would be plenty of time for a repeat?

GTKY: Share a positive moment you've experienced with YH on this IF journey

This is a good question! I have just been frustrated lately with DH for missing his appointment and then waiting so long to reschedule. I guess as far as positive moments DH has been very reassuring that we will just take it one step at a time. It's hard for me because I'm such a planner. 

AlohaKumu

@MrsMiller8588 Our donor is out of state and he can only be here for the weekend, so he is making donations on Friday and Monday. If either of those donations gets messed up, it could mess up the IVF w/ICSI next month.
Early on in our process, DH also missed one of his appointments. It was really frustrating and he felt bad. It wouldn't hurt to ask for orders for a repeat, but they might say that they'll just go with the numbers they already have for now.

millpe

@AlohaKumu oh that makes sense! FX everything goes smoothly! I will email my nurse and see what she recommends. Also, this may be a dumb question but did your donor do a screening SA to make sure all of his counts were good? Did you ask him to do any extra vitamins or anything prior to him coming out for the donations? 

AlohaKumu

@MrsMiller8588 He has not done a screening yet. However, he is young and very healthy. While I know this isn't a guarantee that he will have normal sperm, since we are doing IVF with ICSI, even if he has some issues, they should be able to work with what he has.

ELeighMay

Diagnosis (if you have one): Oligospermia and Teratozoospermia

How long have you been on this journey? Headed into 20mo

Where are you right now in your treatment? TWW - 7dpo and trying not to symptom spot. I seriously KNOW that I'm more than likely not PG, but I am looking for every little cramp and symptom to lead me to a BFP. We have not even gotten full swing into the Clomid yet. Someone needs to check me ladies. 

GTKY: Share a positive moment you've experienced with YH on this IF journey - I liked this question and am trying on a regular basis to remind myself of my very lucky relationship with my DH. If all of this leads us to nowhere, I'm still so thankful of my journey with him. That being said, he's done stupid idiotic-male-induced-moron-related things during this journey. I tell him he's lucky he's cute or I'd have done him in a long time ago. But the other night, out of the blue, he took my hand and kissed my forehead and told me that we were meant to be on this hard journey together because no one else could endure our story but us. That was it. That's all he said. And after he just continued on with what he was doing. I of course kissed him back and when he left the room I melted into a fit of tears. He's so right. We aren't religious, so I don't have that "it's all God's plan" thing to lean on, but I do believe that things happen to certain people for whatever reason. This is meant to be our journey and who knows where it'll lead us. 

JuneRoseRuby Just when I think they don't have a clue they come through with some comment that tells us they might have a better idea than we think. Sounds like you have one of the good ones.

AlohaKumu  Sounds like Thursday is going to be a stressful, but very exciting day for you! I hope everything goes smoothly. Keep us up to date on how it's going.

MrsMiller8588  You certainly can request another SA. There are so many factors that go into the results that the timespan between the two can have different results. My DH missed an appointment today and I was so annoyed. We really needed him to attend. 

klj0228

Diagnosis (if you have one): low count (caused by TRT due to severely low T) 

How long have you been on this journey? We were just informed of the low counts yesterday

Where are you right now in your treatment?

Any Questions?? Not yet, but @MrsMiller8588 mentioned this was a great board to join when I brought it up on the TWW post. I'm looking to learn how other people have processed this and get through the difficult days/weeks.

GTKY: Share a positive moment you've experienced with YH on this IF journey. We just found out yesterday, but he was so sweet about doing whatever needs to be done to get our end goal, even if it means he will have some not so great side effects.

AlohaKumu

Welcome, @klj0228. I’m sorry you find yourself here. It’s always a shock when you first get the diagnosis and have to figure out where to go from here. We have a wide range of experience in the thread, so feel free to vent or ask questions as you navigate through this processes. 

millpe

@klj0228 I'm so sorry that you had to join this club, but everyone here is so supportive and great. I know for me and my DH we are both still in a little bit of denial. DH has an appointment on Oct 27th with a urologist. My Dr is waiting for that to determine what our next steps will be. Until that point we are living on hope expecting that after that appointment we will start pursuing IVF. 

Feel free to vent here as we all know how hard it is and the emotions we go through. We "get it"! You will have hard days, and there will be days that are easier. 

ELeighMay

klj0228  TRT was exactly what landed me here as well! I'm so sorry for your situation, but honestly excited that there's someone else here that had TRT in common! I have yet to find anyone else that can relate to this. Did they do a SA? How long was he on TRT? This has been a horrible process for my DH and I and I so very much hope that your journey goes much smoother.

KristoKekerooni

Hi friends! I am SO late!

Diagnosis (if you have one): MFI (DNAF)

How long have you been on this journey? Hit cycle #40 this week. Womp, womp.

Where are you right now in your treatment? WFIVF... Just a few more cycles left. Possibly as few as 3 more after this one.... Could it be that I won't get a chance to hit 45?? (Where is my fingers crossed emoji???)

Any Questions?? What do you all think of IVF med groups? Like, ones where people donate or sell the leftover meds they have?

GTKY: Share a positive moment you've experienced with YH on this IF journey, oh man, guys it's been up and down. Link, days where I though of the D word and days where I am utterly amazed by him.. it's crazy how much of a roller coaster it's been. My H is working night shifts right now (partially because he makes more money, which translates to more IVF money). So I was asleep and he was walking around the house trying to stay awake in prep for tonight's shift. And he sent me the sweetest text message. 

Screenshot:

@MrsMiller8588 Remind me what the appointment is for? I would still ask for the numbers. Even though you aren't a professional, you want to watch the numbers trend. Keep them.. and hey, show them to us, too. 

@JuneRoseRuby - I am constantly impressed by your strength, grace, and resolve. You are goals, friend. Keep on keepin' on, friend. You're a certified badass with all that you've been dealing with. 

ELeighMay

@KristoKekerooni I seriously wish I had an Awwwww button! Those texts are what save them sometimes, I swear.  I have everything crossed for your IVF journey. 

KristoKekerooni

Right, @ELeighMay ??? I swear. I get so angry with him and then BOOm. **swoon**

AlohaKumu

@KristoKekerooni That is some awesome husbanding right there! I know it hasn't been an easy journey for the two of you, but moments like this really show how his heart is still in it. That's so beautiful.

RVAmom315

@KristoKekerooni So sweet!

JuneRoseRuby

Update: appointment went just as I expected today....they canceled me.  I knew it wasn't going to be my month from day one.  I overstimmed from clomid.  They were pretty surprised with the amount of follicles and didn't see it coming, even though I stimmed really well on low dose IVF meds, and have a high AMH... so I don't know why everyone else was blindsided and I wasn't.  Whatever man.  Alls I know, is that I do not care how many follicles I have next month, they are shoving that other man's jizz right up in there and I am getting KTFU.  I am tired of waiting, man.  

Also, my heart broke for MH last night.  We were on the couch and he was like, 'I was thinking, maybe you should just freeze a bunch of eggs and in like 10 years, when the technology is better, maybe they will have come up with some sort of solution" and I was initially thinking, like oh you mean make more embryos with the donor and freeze, and then as he finished his sentence, I realized that he still hasn't given up on the dream of bio children and he meant finding a way to use HIS sperm... poor buddy. I mourn that dream every day, but I've accepted it that he can't have bio kids. I just felt so bad that he still has hope. I guess that is at least a healthy way of dealing, be okay moving forward with donor and hoping to have bio later? 

@KristoKekerooni oh man, thanks for the love, lady! I needed that. What a love bug you have over there! 

KristoKekerooni

I know, right guys? It's been the longest effing journey. We have had so many ups and downs, and we both feel like we have been jerked around so much. We've been feeling so hopeless for so long that the message was just so amazing to get. Like, this might actually be happening. I mean, obviously we all know IVF =/= Baby, but it's the closest we've come, you know? And just because it's not a guarantee, doesn't mean we can't get a little excited about it. And obviously he is. Now to wait the few more months.....

ELeighMay

Why does a BFN cause such soul crushing disappointment even when you KNOW that's what you're going to get? I had to go to the clinic for a non-OB related issue and when they did my blood draw they automatically included my quant. The doc knew about my TTC and loss journey and was so reluctant to give me the results. It was almost as if he was expecting me to implode upon hearing the results. I took it fine, it was totally expected, but I got back to my car and it was all I could do not to fall apart. I guess I wish they'd have told me they were running it as part of the panel first so I had time to prepare myself. He said that he forgot that it was automatically included in what he ordered...whatever.

AlohaKumu

@JuneRoseRuby I'm really sorry they canceled you this cycle. I can only imagine how frustrating it would be, especially when you know your body and it seems the medical professionals don't.
I know my DH also has the dream that we'll be able to use/find his sperm someday. It breaks my heart when he says he feels left out of the process at this point, but I remind him that this is just the beginning--we are doing this so he can be a daddy forever. Grief is such a tricky thing and I know we have both mourned so much throughout this process. What else can we do but just love one another?

ETA I'm sorry if that's a mess of words. I'm kind of high on cold medicine right now.

millpe

@KristoKekerooni That text  *heart-eyes emoji*
his appointment will be his initial consult with a urologist since his count came back low (5 mil was the number I was given over the phone). 

@JuneRoseRuby Boo! So sorry for the cancelled cycle. That seriously sucks  I vote next cycle if they try to cancel you - steal the frozen sample and do it at home. I'm glad that your H is moving forward even if he hasn't given up hope. I second @KristoKekerooni above that you are handling everything thrown your way with such grace. It's inspiring. 

@ELeighMay Sorry for your BFN  I'm in my TWW currently and full of unfounded hope so I will be right there with you in a week or so. 

ELeighMay

MrsMiller8588  Thanks, I'm only 9dpo, but I feel like if the quant came back negative (even if technically it's still early) I'm likely not in it this cycle. I honestly haven't had any symptoms to lead me to believe that I would have any other result, but it hasn't kept me from the BSC symptom spotting. I just hate knowing that when AF arrives knowing FULL WELL I'm not pg I'm still going to be bummed all over again. This process sucks.

@JuneRoseRuby I'm so sorry for your cancelled cycle. Will they do it next cycle instead?

KristoKekerooni

@JuneRoseRuby We must have posted at the same time, I missed your update. Well shit, girl. I'm so bummed for you. I can totally empathize though. At this point, every damn day longer is like torture. I know what you feel when you say you just want to be KTFU regardless. It sucks. It's so, so hard to be so out of touch and unable to change a damn thing. It's horrendous. 

You should be damn proud of yourself with how strong you've been and the amazing things you've accomplished, even if a baby isn't on that list yet. You are a rockstar!

JuneRoseRuby

Thanks for the love girls. 

@AlohaKumu yes, we just love each other and know we are doing this for our family and we go into it on the same page.  I really was thinking about the physical part of the IUI with donor last night though and it was weirding me out.  Of course I am still going to do it, but I was like ugh, another man's sperm in me. I can't have sex with MH for like 2 days around the IUI, bc that seems weird. Just a weird jizz party mingling around up there... ugh. And then I went in this weird headspace where it felt like cheating, and I realize that's insane, but I had to roll over and wake up MH and double check "you're still good with donor right?" H:"yes, go to sleep now". Me: "K, Just checking"

@ELeighMay Plan for next cycle is lower dose of clomid.  They started with me the standard go to.  She also said possibly going with letrozol instead since it generally stimulates less than clomid. Then moving forward with IUI with donor. 

ELeighMay

JuneRoseRuby "Just a weird jizz party mingling around up there" *DYING Just think, when you're at the us appointment with your DH for your sticky bean it'll never even cross your mind.

klj0228

@ELeighMay I am so sorry you had to hear the BFN, again. We can all probably relate, you know the results before you are told them or see them, but you still want to be that one in a million chance. Heck I took a test this evening because af hasn't reared her ugly head yet...bfn of course! We had a SA done and he is at 3 mil. H was on TRT for 2 years. It just sucks to have something that is so helpful for his moods, sleep and day to day life to be something that is hurting our chances of a family. It's nice to see I'm not the only one here that it started with TRT. I wish someone had told us before he started it though.

@JuneRoseRuby I'm sorry for the rough cycle, next month will be better! It's awesome to see the messages from H and to be going through it all as a team. I have to admit though, I busted out laughing when I read "weird jizz party mingling around up there". 

@KristoKekerooni those men sure can make us swoon when it really counts! Love the messages he sent. You have every right to be excited about the IVF, it may not be a guarantee, but it is a possibility and that is something to be happy about. It wouldn't be an option if there was zero chance it would work.

ELeighMay

klj0228 That's exactly it. I want that second lightening strike I guess.
My DH was on TRT for just over a year. His first SA was 1mil with 4% Morph. The doc said the TRT basically is the same as a male contraceptive, all but sterilizing men. He wasn't sure if his counts would ever return from the damage it did to his system. The hard part was finding out that he shouldn't have been treated with the dosages he was given. His T was at 1500 at one point and he easily could've had a heart attack and died. That would be higher than the level that professional body builders would put themselves at to get insanely huge, and come to find out he didn't need them in the first place. His T was only slightly low and they could've treated him in another way. Did your DH go through withdrawal coming off of it? Mine was like watching an addict go through the throws of withdrawal, it was seriously horrible. We had asked the doctor that treated him, repeatedly, if it would effect our ability TC and he said flat out "no". The "hormones are just supplementing what he already has", which is total BS! No one told us once he received it artificially his system would stop producing it. Once we saw the specialist he explained how it actually works and I was so sick to my stomach I almost puked in his office. It's scary how few doctors actually seem to understand how TRT works in a man's system. Did they put your DH on Clomid or anything to help boost his levels? Mine just started Clomid and I'm anxious for his next SA to see if it's working. 

ELeighMay

Hey ladies, I was just checking to see how everyone was doing this week. No one started a new thread so I thought I'd pop in here.