Ran across this today. Was wondering what you ladies thought. I personally am on the resturant side. Crop tops are not appropriate dress for a steakhouse. I became a bit livid though reading through some of the comments and how they described the pregnant body.
Pregnancy aside, please dress appropriately for the establishment you are going to dine at. I don't care if you're 5 or 55, a crop top is not appropriate attire for a steakhouse. It's an issue of sanitation. If you aren't allowed to wear a bikini top, you aren't allowed to wear a crop top. That being said, you shouldn't be shamed for a beautiful pregnant belly. Growing a human is incredible!
I think the restaurant had every right to deny service. And no I don't think that they would have let someone else walk in and eat there with a crop tip on that wasn't pregnant. I'm going to apologize ahead of time if I ruffle any feathers with what I am about to say, but people are becoming more and more touchy with comments. 15 or 20 years ago, this isn't something that would have made the news here (I live in Washington). But why is that? Because people had much more common sense and knew how to dress appropriately (pregnant or not). I am over having to walk on eggshells for fear of hurting someone's feelings because of the opinions I have, but they can go and say whatever they want because they were "victimized". I'm sorry, but it's getting old really quick. And it worries me so much having a baby and bringing him up in this crazy world.
1. Depends on if there was a dress code in place. If they have a policy, then yep, that's that. I think saying it's a no-shirt issue is a stretch. It's not an outfit I'd have worn, but I've also work crop tops as a fat woman and there are people who would look at me and say the same. So who am I to tell anyone what to wear?
2. I've made my feelings known before about how pregnancy and being fat aren't the same thing, so while she may have felt ashamed by being turned away, she wasn't fat-shamed.
3. People are awful when they are confronted with a body that doesn't fit their needs for consumption. Didn't bother with the comments, sure they were terrible, though.
4. @smestadtj I think saying people had "more common sense" is reductive, especially when lumped with a frustration with not being able to speak one's mind. In this particular issue, yeah, I don't see why it's newsworthy. It's not something I'd have work to dinner. I also do think that if she hadn't been visibly protruding from the shirt, there's a great chance she'd have gotten in. It sounds like someone who is used to dressing how they like, suddenly confronted with people policing their body. Whether right or wrong, being denied at a restaurant is not necessarily news.
But. A lot of this sort of thing is coming from a place of increased empathy. People have greater power than ever to share their stories and experiences, and that's leading to more discussion of how the way we speak and behave impacts the people around us. We didn't have a lexicon for fat-shaming when I grew up, nor did we have open conversations about mental health. Kids growing up with this vocabulary are, IMO, going to be a lot better equipped to use empathy and also process their own experiences and emotions.
There are absolutely people who feel like having been treated shittily is permission to act shittily -- and while I don't think it's productive, I see where they come from. It doesn't make the whole shift toward greater empathy a bad thing.
But. A lot of this sort of thing is coming from a place of increased empathy. People have greater power than ever to share their stories and experiences, and that's leading to more discussion of how the way we speak and behave impacts the people around us. We didn't have a lexicon for fat-shaming when I grew up, nor did we have open conversations about mental health. Kids growing up with this vocabulary are, IMO, going to be a lot better equipped to use empathy and also process their own experiences and emotions.
So I'm a nerd and googled the restaurant... the yelp photos make it look like a Sizzlers, Outback would be nicer. The restaurant apologized in the article for the staffs misunderstanding, and it makes me feel like the hostess was probably just a B with a power trip. Pregnant lady should've talked with a manager/supervisor.
And let's be real: we all fuck. Every single one of us here is here, because we fucked. (Though I know some of us also then had to go on to get medical Intervention to conceive; I don't want to downplay that experience.) A slut is just someone we're judging for fucking differently than we do.
In my opinion... wear what makes you feel good. Who cares what other people's opinions are. If you don't like seeing other people feel good in what they wear, don't look. Focus on yourself.
@scatteringashes I would just like to chime in and add that much to my husband's dismay, I appear to be a women who formerly fuc#ed. We did it last week and OMG did it hurt, so that's it for me, ladies!
Re: Showing the Bump. What's acceptable?
Edited cause words are hard when I get going.
1. Depends on if there was a dress code in place. If they have a policy, then yep, that's that. I think saying it's a no-shirt issue is a stretch. It's not an outfit I'd have worn, but I've also work crop tops as a fat woman and there are people who would look at me and say the same. So who am I to tell anyone what to wear?
2. I've made my feelings known before about how pregnancy and being fat aren't the same thing, so while she may have felt ashamed by being turned away, she wasn't fat-shamed.
3. People are awful when they are confronted with a body that doesn't fit their needs for consumption. Didn't bother with the comments, sure they were terrible, though.
4. @smestadtj I think saying people had "more common sense" is reductive, especially when lumped with a frustration with not being able to speak one's mind. In this particular issue, yeah, I don't see why it's newsworthy. It's not something I'd have work to dinner. I also do think that if she hadn't been visibly protruding from the shirt, there's a great chance she'd have gotten in. It sounds like someone who is used to dressing how they like, suddenly confronted with people policing their body. Whether right or wrong, being denied at a restaurant is not necessarily news.
But. A lot of this sort of thing is coming from a place of increased empathy. People have greater power than ever to share their stories and experiences, and that's leading to more discussion of how the way we speak and behave impacts the people around us. We didn't have a lexicon for fat-shaming when I grew up, nor did we have open conversations about mental health. Kids growing up with this vocabulary are, IMO, going to be a lot better equipped to use empathy and also process their own experiences and emotions.
There are absolutely people who feel like having been treated shittily is permission to act shittily -- and while I don't think it's productive, I see where they come from. It doesn't make the whole shift toward greater empathy a bad thing.
And let's be real: we all fuck. Every single one of us here is here, because we fucked. (Though I know some of us also then had to go on to get medical Intervention to conceive; I don't want to downplay that experience.) A slut is just someone we're judging for fucking differently than we do.
J18 December Siggy Challenge: Christmas Movies
DD1 EDD 9/29/2015, Born 9/24/2015
DS1 EDD 1/3/2018, Born 12/26/2017
BFP #3 3/21/2019, EDD 11/29/2019, MMC/D&C 5/7/2019
BFP #4 6/28/2019, EDD 3/12/2020