@aga31 - I think it is sometimes a good idea to stop charting and what not. This is my first month back using opks since March. Stopping it really was a good idea cause the stress was not good for me. It caused me great anxiety and even a minor anxiety attack.
@vlagrl29 I often contemplate stopping everything but OPKs.
TW with both of my pregnancies I did nothng but them End TW... and after starting temping, charting, checking CM and CP I'm a mess of stress around O days because everything can conflict and I never know if I am really O ing
@SmashJam - last year I was more of a hot mess with everything. We did 3 months of just having sex, then 2 months of OPKs and 1 of those months was with temping as well. The more proactive I was the more pissed off I would be if I didn't get KU so I said to hell with it on the 6 month and guess what? That's when I got pregnant lol. From Feb-May we basically just made sure we had timed intercourse but I was still so stressed and upset about the loss I was still a hot mess but for different reasons. When I got AF early June I said F this I need a mental break to get back to where I use to be and I can honestly say I'm there now. This is my first month using OPKs again because OB suggested clomid but I want us to really try for 4 more months before resorting to meds. This time even though I'm using the OPKs again and we are EOD BD I'm not stressed so that's really nice. Before I felt like I had to have this baby and now I feel pretty content with life and happy again. Next month I'm just going to OPK and temp so I can get 1 last accurate prog test. Then the last 2 months of the year I'll just OPK and time BD. I don't internally check CM because mine comes out pretty good so I can just look at my underware and know.
@vlagrl29 I know exactly what you mean with tmi stressing a shit out of you. I just started over analyzing my visit yesterday and I am shaking now and ready to call my OB with all the questions. So she told me yesterday that it looks its still few days before I ovulate based on follicle size (which i don't remember what size it was) and i have to wait for the opk to peak and not just give me smiley face. That being said it looks like today my lh levels went down and my temp went up, so everything is in reverse and driving me crazy. I tried to meditate in the morning to calm down but my mind is all over the place and I burst in tears in a morning a second my DH left to work (i hate crying in front of him). I am defenitely going mental, I think i will just trash the rest of opks and hide thermometer for this month and just try to let it be.
@aga31 I've been there and DH kept asking me why I was doing that to myself. This was our first month BD EOD in at least 4 months and I used OPKs and I can honestly say I was shocked with how relaxed I found myself. Now that I'm nearing the end of TWW I'm finding myself kinda not wanting to track or anything but we need to put in this last effort.
@vlagrl29 Sounds like a good plan! Never give up. I have my FX that I will have a second LH surge in few days and then the O will happen. Sex EOD until then. Also my higher temp in the morning might be due the onset of allergy and upset stomach that this natural pms medication gave me. it has a bee product in it and I have bad allergy to raw honey and other bee products. Not anaphylactic luckily, but I am feeling pretty sick right now
@vlagrl29 something you said just really resonated with me, "I felt like I had to have this baby"...man that is basically where I was from January until about a month or so ago. I was basically like, I am SUPPOSED to have a baby I NEED this. I really understand that mindset and I couldn't really put words to it until I saw it typed out. Maybe its not the process for me but like, the effing situation and where my mind was with that that was stressing me out. Whew. Life is hard.
@SmashJam - Yes the entire process was really hard for me and still is at times. We always thought we'd have 2 kids and I had always wanted the 5-6 year age gap so when DH was about done with a big work project of his it was time to get on it TTC and that would still be my perfect age gap for 2 kids. I look back and I was putting too much pressure on myself - stress from making DD a big sister and making sure I did it before I was too old. I was 36 at the time and now I'm 37. This was supposed to happen right at that time and it wasn't and this was not easy for me since it only took 1 month to conceive our first and no issues.
Really just recently I've been putting all my energy into my professional goals and it's going quite well and I now realize I am happy and have everything I need. Sometimes I just look at the leaves changing fall colors and remind myself that this is the present moment enjoy that. Soon those leaves will fall off and I'll miss it all if I stay wondering and stressing about the future.
Even though we are back on BD schedule with OPKs and what not I'm not feeling that stress like I did last year which is good. But I have noticed now that we are putting forth more effort again my mind is wandering to wanting a baby again and I just have to keep it in check and obviously I want another baby but I have no control of it. Gosh it's all so hard but I have realized that I don't want to keep natural TTC for like 2-3 more years and then I'll be 40 and I don't want to regret it. But who says medical intervention will work? Do I just completely give up and then it will happen? I haven't really prayed about wanting a baby for quite some time. After the loss I gave up on it. I ended up praying for strength to get thru it and to get my mind back. Now I think I'll start praying again for guidance. Give me a sign as to which path I should take. Are we not meant to have more - let me know lol. Please if it's meant to happen naturally can you let it happen before new years. If it's meant to happen medically then so be it. I just need some guidance.
I guess it is hard for all of us to just accept the current no pg state, but believe me it is exremely difficult without a living child. We were waiting so long to get married (8 years), to live together (we were in long distance for 4 years!) and start a family, that this entire situation feels like I waisted half of my life. I just never wanted anything so badly in my whole life, and once I thought I almost had it it was taken away from me. So I am not sure when and how I will get to the point that I will be just ok with it. I am still not
Back over here. Blah. CD2 and first period since my mmc. I started temping this cycle however I feel like it's going to drive me mad. Happy to get this next cycle started.
@aga31 Being in this situation is so hard. I hope you can come to peace with whatever the future is for you. It is a daily struggle for me still.
I'm so sorry it's so hard @aga31 especially with no living child. I tell myself time and time again we are fine with 1 and try and get myself to be ok with that but deep down I guess I still want it. I hope you get your rainbow very soon.
Thank you girls for your kind words. I think visiting my OB, even though she was so nice and optimistic, was a trigger for me. I am getting better now with a weekend starting and not stressing out too much about other things in my life, that are going well now. TGIF!
Re: September WTO
I have my FX that I will have a second LH surge in few days and then the O will happen. Sex EOD until then. Also my higher temp in the morning might be due the onset of allergy and upset stomach that this natural pms medication gave me. it has a bee product in it and I have bad allergy to raw honey and other bee products. Not anaphylactic luckily, but I am feeling pretty sick right now
Really just recently I've been putting all my energy into my professional goals and it's going quite well and I now realize I am happy and have everything I need. Sometimes I just look at the leaves changing fall colors and remind myself that this is the present moment enjoy that. Soon those leaves will fall off and I'll miss it all if I stay wondering and stressing about the future.
Even though we are back on BD schedule with OPKs and what not I'm not feeling that stress like I did last year which is good. But I have noticed now that we are putting forth more effort again my mind is wandering to wanting a baby again and I just have to keep it in check and obviously I want another baby but I have no control of it. Gosh it's all so hard but I have realized that I don't want to keep natural TTC for like 2-3 more years and then I'll be 40 and I don't want to regret it. But who says medical intervention will work? Do I just completely give up and then it will happen? I haven't really prayed about wanting a baby for quite some time. After the loss I gave up on it. I ended up praying for strength to get thru it and to get my mind back. Now I think I'll start praying again for guidance. Give me a sign as to which path I should take. Are we not meant to have more - let me know lol. Please if it's meant to happen naturally can you let it happen before new years. If it's meant to happen medically then so be it. I just need some guidance.
Gosh that was long ha!
@aga31 Being in this situation is so hard. I hope you can come to peace with whatever the future is for you. It is a daily struggle for me still.