February 2018 Moms

Mothers and step mothers

mblomq2mblomq2 member
edited August 2017 in February 2018 Moms
Hello,

My mother is throwing me a baby shower and recently discussed with me not wanting to invite my step mother and my dad (her ex). Our families are cordial but I understand how this can be uncomfortable. Some context, it will be a coed shower, my dad/stepmom were invited to my wedding shower- which was also thrown by my mom, and they attended my sister's baby shower but that was big and thrown by my sister's in laws. 

How do folks deal with people not being invited to this sort of thing? Figured some others had to have gone through it or have the same issues. I don't want to force my mom bc honestly I'm not the closest with stepmom and dad doesn't care much about these sort of things. But I think it'd be rude for them to find out via Facebook photos.
TIA!

Re: Mothers and step mothers

  • If they were invited to your wedding shower, I think they should be invited to your baby shower. I'd simply tell your mom you'd like for them to be invited. If she insists and you don't want to push the issue, at least you tried. 
  • My mom was looking forward to my sister and I turning 18 so she didn't have to deal with my dad anymore.  Then there were weddings and babies and grandchild birthdays and soccer games.  She sees him and my stepmom more than ever.  They are civil.  It's become their new normal.  I would say if there is someone on your dad's side, an aunt or someone that might throw you a shower, maybe suggest that so your stepmom is included. Not suggesting you ask for a shower!  But maybe if there is someone that you could talk to about it - "oh Aunt Sally, it will be so awkward..."  otherwise, I think your mom just needs to suck it up.  It will continue to happen at birthdays and soccer games and...
  • Loading the player...
  • Your mom is hosting so she is well within her rights to be the final veto on the guest list (you seem like you agree with that, that's more so in response to people saying she SHOULD be invited).

    I would just let it be and if step mom and your if you are having a shower just tell her the truth. "Yeah, mom is hosting a shower for HER side of the family and husband's side". You don't have to go out and tell her she is not invited but saying it in that way will make it clear. If it is important to her she will throw one for her side otherwise she won't. If she makes it a big deal I would just tell her you have nothing to do with the guest list since you are not hosting. 

     DD born Oct 2011 - DS#1 born Jan 2014 - DS#2 born Apr 2015 - DS#3 born Sept 2016 - LO#5 due Feb 7, 2018

  • sabriel1 said:
    I would just let it be and if step mom and your if you are having a shower just tell her the truth. "Yeah, mom is hosting a shower for HER side of the family and husband's side". You don't have to go out and tell her she is not invited but saying it in that way will make it clear. If it is important to her she will throw one for her side otherwise she won't. If she makes it a big deal I would just tell her you have nothing to do with the guest list since you are not hosting. 
    Adding onto this--if your dad and stepmom seem upset about not being invited, you could suggest a dinner to celebrate baby?  That is hard.  Good luck! 
Sign In or Register to comment.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards
"
"