Sex during pregnancy

babyequals8

My husband keeps saying there's something wrong with me because I hate sex during pregnancy.  I just dont have the desire and it just feels wrong .Is it me ?

muggle621

This is a good questions for the weekly questions thread, where as it happens it was discussed earlier this week. Please search for the weekly questions and symptoms thread first in the future before making one off posts like this and even then, please ask it in the appropriate place. 

lund

Yes it's you. Because you're pregnant. Pregnancy is weird. 

And yeah, this could've gone in about 12 other threads - no need to start a new thread. 

HappyMonkey817

Your husband is being insensitive. You should have a talk with him.

Cowboycorgi

@loganjsmommy1978, that isn't very helpful or supportive. 

OP, pregnancy hormones mixed with MS, bloating, aches, and general fear in the first trimester can commonly put a damper on your libido. As your placenta starts taking over you may see a resurgence, you may not. However, it can be completely normal to not feel in a sexy mood while pregnant or breastfeeding. 

If you are concerned I would suggest bringing up your concerns to your OB during your next doctors appt. They may have suggestions on how to get that feeling back. 

I also suggest talking to your husband anout how his comments arent helpful, and can lead to feelings of resentment. Maybe he can go to your next OB appt so he hears directly from the doctor that this can be completely normal. 

Goodluck, OP. I know it can be hard to deal with all these raging hormones, but you have support. 

Cowboycorgi

@loganjsmommy1978, your anecdotical story about a previous divorce was not only insensitive but could have carelessly add to OP's worries that her lack of libido means something about her marriage instead of just a side effect of pregnancy hormones. She had not said that previous to the pregnancy her husband and her had any distance in their sex life. 

LiveNLove44

@loganjsmommy1978 I don't think you're being targeted, I think your comment was just genuinely tactless and in poor judgement. It's a bit disconcerting that you don't see that. Comparison for clarity: Friend tells you that they have a specific pain that is worsening and not going away. You say, "Oh, my other friend had that pain and she died. I don't have that pain and I'm doing great." Your comment fueled a concern instead of supported and reassured. 

@babyequals8, you'll find that we have talked about this topic at length in other threads, and it's a real part of going through pregnancy that helps to talk about with others.

pettycrocker

It's usually my husband who's not into pregnant sex, but this time I am just tired and not in the mood. We haven't had sex since June I guess? Funny because we were told pregnancy without IVF was impossible (tubal factor) so with that bit of relief we decided to do a 30 day sex challenge to build our marriage, made it 8 days, got pregnant, and haven't had sex since. 


Don't sweat it though. First trimester is rough, it's totally normal to not be into it 

pettycrocker

Plur- I'm not really understanding the obsession with limiting threads? Our board is basically dead. What difference does it make if we have some new threads? Even if they ARE redundant. I've been on TB for 7 years and have never seen it so dead as it has become since people started hyper focusing on board organization. 

bookishbaker

@pettycrocker There are multiple threads with well over 100 posts this week- I wouldn't call that dead.

vflux33

Having this debate every 3 days is getting annoying. Can someone link one of the last times we went through this? 

kiki75

Keep in mind that a redirect to other threads isn't an offensive thing. It's simply saying, "Here's a place where a pertinent conversation is already taking place" or "You're more likely to get answers and have them where other people can benefit If you post here." People get tired of writing the same thing multiple times so if they've already covered it this very week, a person will get better answers by going there. Personally, I would much rather be sent to a place where the answers are than to just get no answers.  

@loganjsmommy1978 Thanks for the addition to your post. It does a much better job conveying your intent. 

bb3vj3n

@loganjsmommy1978 I've stayed away from most of these threads because I prefer to avoid any hint of drama. However, I think people are just overall getting annoyed that we keep having to redirect over and over and over and over and over again. it's frustrating and it's unnecessary. it is clearly stated in the board rules and I think it's fair to have the expectation that joining members take 5 minutes to read them and understand how we have chosen to organize this community. 

 there are many other groups that welcome multiple threads. if someone doesn't enjoy how this board is organized - nobody is forcing them to participate.  This is my first group and I personally have enjoyed the simplicity and organization of it.  It's a great fit for me and a great many others and is annoying to see others disregarding our system and having no respect for the outlines that have been set. 

I'm not saying ill will or malice are motivating factors here... I'm sure most of these OP's simply did not know. A redirect is an acceptable way of letting new members know that we do have a system and to please respect it by abiding by it. 


End rant.....

vflux33

@bb3vj3n

kialei7

Its not just you. This is my second successful pregnancy and once again my desire for sex has plummeted.