Am I wrong to be offended? — The Bump
3rd Trimester

Am I wrong to be offended?

My fiances father told him today that he shouldn't look when im delivering the baby and to use Vicks vapo rub because the birth smells terrible and I'll probably sh*t myself. Like maybe I would find this amusing if it wasnt such an intimate traumatic event  but i don't find it amusing the least bit. For one i don't appreciate people discussing my vagina and my childbirth. Like im going to be straining my body to deliver a baby so im not really concerned if it doesn't smell like roses.  Am I being sensitive? Or are my feelings valid on this?

Re: Am I wrong to be offended?

  • My fiances father told him today that he shouldn't look when im delivering the baby and to use Vicks vapo rub because the birth smells terrible and I'll probably sh*t myself. Like maybe I would find this amusing if it wasnt such an intimate traumatic event  but i don't find it amusing the least bit. For one i don't appreciate people discussing my vagina and my childbirth. Like im going to be straining my body to deliver a baby so im not really concerned if it doesn't smell like roses.  Am I being sensitive? Or are my feelings valid on this?

    -----stuck in box-----

    His father has been through it, and whether he was serious or taking it light heartedly, it probably wasn't the best thing yet let's be honest it's true.

    I wouldn't take it personally, when the day comes your husband will do what he is willing.

    My husband never looked below the waist as he was helping hold one of my legs, yes I pooped in pushing stage, no it didn't smell the best- but no one batted an eye.  Yes, it's your vagina and your childbirth, but yet it's a commonality of birth that it can be considered normal.  I personally think he was just warning your husband of what could happen. Its not like he was talking about you personally.

    I would take it with a grain of salt and not let it bother you. Talk to  your husband about it, and move on. 
    Knottie247e34af4a000103
  • If it helps you feel better about it, remember that your FIL's tips are based off your MIL's births. If anyone should be embarrassed, it should be her!
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  • meggyme said:
    If it helps you feel better about it, remember that your FIL's tips are based off your MIL's births. If anyone should be embarrassed, it should be her!

    --stuck----

    Lol true. Didn't think of it that way either ,) 
    Knottie247e34af4a000103
  • meggyme said:
    If it helps you feel better about it, remember that your FIL's tips are based off your MIL's births. If anyone should be embarrassed, it should be her!

    --stuck----

    Lol true. Didn't think of it that way either ,) 
    Knottie247e34af4a000103
  • Sounds like something stupid and insensitive my younger brother (who's 30 BTW!) would say. He's not at the stage in his life to understand labor,  child birth, and parenting so he says all kinds of stupid things like that my boobs are 'probably' saggy now and that I probably have stretch marks and that I'll 'poop' the baby out. Ew. He's gross lol I try to not be offfneded bc it's just my stupid brother and I know he loves me. But yeah it bothers me because it's insensitive. 
    Me: 30 DH: 32
    BFP#1: 9/9/2014 DS born 4/7/15
    BFP#2: 6/16/2016 MC/D&C: 7/29/2016
    BFP#3: 10/14/2016 (fingers crossed for a sticky bean)
    Knottie247e34af4a000103
  • lovesclimbinglovesclimbing member
    Sixth Anniversary 1000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    edited August 2017
    Dumb but personally, I wouldn't be offended. My H never looked down there. He didn't even see my crotch until several weeks post birth! He was a little squeamish about it and it's no big deal. 

    Does your H wear Vicks under his nose when he poops? If not, he shouldn't need it when you do. 

    ETA: I know I pooped. I could feel it and I could tell by when the midwife wiped it away. I don't know if anyone else smelled anything, but I didn't. In my experience (TMI?), poops don't always smell. 
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