Miscarriage/Pregnancy Loss

Feeling abandoned by DH-mostly a rant

Its been 11 months since my miscarriage and DH still wont talk about it. Worse whenever i try to share my feelings and grief i feel shut down by him. Ive felt so alone this whole time. Its like im the only one that remembers our baby half the time. we have been ttc 5 years and diagnosed with MFI 17 months ago. He seems to have given up- wont go for more tests, wont take the suggested vitamins i buy him, wont discuss other choices. Ive tried talking to family and friends but somehow no one close to me has experienced this loss and just say things that hurt me unintentionaly- ( my favorite- atleast you know you can get pregnant). Ive tried moving forword with life i threw myself into my first year of college getting top marks and having only a couple public emotional breakdowns but everyday i have still cryed myself to sleep unable to feel even the slightest bit normal.

Re: Feeling abandoned by DH-mostly a rant

  • I'm so sorry you're going through this. I hate that you aren't getting the support that you need. Hugs
  • HowlCircusHowlCircus member
    edited August 2017
    I'm so sorry you're struggling. It's very tough when your SO won't discuss anything with you. I went through that with mine. My one regret is being too pushy and not giving him time. My advice is to reach out on here, to female friends, maybe even a support group, especially a counselor. My weekly appointments have allowed me to vent and cope without taking it out on my SO. The best thing my SO said to me after my breakup was "I didn't want to talk about it or try because it broke my heart to see you upset and I didn't ever want to see you like that again" I know that may not be how your DH feels but maybe in some way he is struggling to see you in distress. All I can say is I'm thinking about both of you and wishing you the best <3 
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  • Go see a counselor.  I literally had a crazy mental breakdown a couple months ago because the grief got to me and consumed me.  I have been going to a therapist for a little over a month and I feel so much better it is unbelievable.  It helps to have someone there that is just there to listen and help you.  My DH was closed down about it and then my therapist invited him to one of our sessions. He reluctantly went and she got him talking. It strengthened our marriage.  We are better than we have ever been because of it. WOuld your DH ever consider going to therapy with you?
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