TTCAL Check-In Week of 7/17

AlohaKumu

**This is a general trigger warning that CP, miscarriage / spontaneous abortion, selective abortion due to medical complications, and / or stillbirth may be mentioned.** 

Introduce yourself and anything you think is important: number of loss(es), when you had the loss(es) , diagnosis / conditions surrounding loss, etc.

Status:

How are things going? What is something that you are struggling with this week? What is going well for you this week? R/R?

Any testing coming up/any recent results?

GTKY: Do you listen to music while you are at home/work?

acunamatada

Introduce yourself and anything you think is important: number of loss(es), when you had the loss(es) , diagnosis / conditions surrounding loss, etc.
Had an EP in May/June. Halfway through my first cycle after the loss. 

Status:
Benched until AF which would be my second cycle, I'm pretty sure I ovulated this weekend so I should only have 2 weeks left

How are things going? What is something that you are struggling with this week? What is going well for you this week? R/R?
I'm in a pretty good place now, I can't wait to be off the bench. I'm glad my cycle is moving along like usual so far. 

Any testing coming up/any recent results?


GTKY: Do you listen to music while you are at home/work?
Only when I'm cleaning and I need the extra boost! At work I mostly catch up on my shows/Netflix... My job is usually pretty slow on me weekends and I work alone 

labgrand2012

Introduce yourself and anything you think is important: number of loss(es), when you had the loss(es) , diagnosis / conditions surrounding loss, etc. MC in June

Status: TTA until my next cycle

How are things going? What is something that you are struggling with this week? What is going well for you this week? R/R? Things are going well so far this week. I have been having more of the I should be so far a long in pregnancy not with only my loss, but also from when we started trying. I think a lot of it has to do with my weight gain, but these are lasting a lot shorter than what they were. 

Any testing coming up/any recent results? I got my HCG results from last week and am at 2.1, so I am done with blood draws now and just hoping my cycle returns soon. 

GTKY: Do you listen to music while you are at home/work? It really depends on what I am doing at work. I am in meetings/on calls quite a few times a day, but if I am doing more housekeeping items or programming I will listen to music. We listen to music often at home when cleaning, cooking or playing games. 

_darth

Introduce yourself and anything you think is important: number of loss(es), when you had the loss(es) , diagnosis / conditions surrounding loss, etc. 
MC at 12 weeks in May, Asherman's (stage 3, treated surgically). As far as I know, the two things were not related.

Status: WTO

How are things going? What is something that you are struggling with this week? What is going well for you this week? R/R? I'm doing okay. I had one rough morning Wednesday where I woke up from a deep sleep, was a bit disoriented, and kind of forgot for a second. Just surrounding myself with people and quiet activities I love, as much as possible.

Any testing coming up/any recent results? We got the all clear for TTC at the start of this cycle. No new adhesions, no complications.

GTKY: Do you listen to music while you are at home/work? @labgrand2012 What are your programming tunes? I need a playlist update, since mine's gone a bit stale and reminds me of that one loud coworker it was meant to drown out.   

I do listen to music while I code, travel, or clean. Not when hiking though because unexpected chipmunks can be scary and one must always be prepared. 

ChloandCoco

@acunamatada - FX your cycle comes back on time.
@labgrand2012 - I wrote in my day planner how far along I should've been, and even though I used white-out, seeing that every week is still hard. But it does get easier. It's good you don't have to have any more bloodwork done.
@damantium - Good luck this cycle!

Introduce yourself and anything you think is important: number of loss(es), when you had the loss(es) , diagnosis / conditions surrounding loss, etc.: Had a MC May 5th, diagnosed as a blighted ovum. This is my first cycle AL.

Status: WTO

How are things going? What is something that you are struggling with this week? What is going well for you this week? R/R? Lately I've been keeping myself super busy to help make the time go by faster, but now I'm just exhausted and maybe my body is telling me to slow down. 

Any testing coming up/any recent results? Once AF is done I'm going to start using OPKs in case I ovulate sooner than expected.

GTKY: Do you listen to music while you are at home/work? Yes, I need background music while analyzing data, but not podcasts, listening to people talk puts me to sleep.

zamoraspin

@acunamatada Hope this cycle passes quickly for you. What is your current Netflix obsession? 
@labgrand2012 I'm sorry you're having those thoughts, you are not alone in thinking those things. 
@_darth I'm sorry you had a hard morning the other day. I'm glad you are cleared ttc again. 
@ChloandCoco I'm sorry you're feeling wiped out, I think trying to keep busy can do that. Can you find some good time for yourself soon? What would be relaxing for you? 

Introduce yourself and anything you think is important: number of loss(es), when you had the loss(es) , diagnosis / conditions surrounding loss, etc. First pregnancy ended in mmc in mid-June. 

Status: TWW 12 dpo but temp dropped this morning so AF is imminent. 

How are things going? What is something that you are struggling with this week? What is going well for you this week? R/R? I have been easing myself into the idea that I may not get ku again right away. I tend to be impatient - and it is hard for me to feel not in control, which, obviously ttc is something where control is limited. On the podcast thread someone mentioned a podcast - Getting Healthy and Getting Pregnant with Adrienne Wei. I've listened to a few episodes and in one of the early episodes she recommends setting fertility related health goals (like, diet changes, etc) so that you break recommendations down into smaller pieces. Planning to sit down and do those goals this week. I think that will give me a sense of purpose and structure that may help with my worries. Also just got back from my first appt with an acupuncturist. Wasn't sure what to expect but it was very relaxing, if nothing else. 

Any testing coming up/any recent results? Nope.

GTKY: Do you listen to music while you are at home/work? At home - yes, while cleaning or showering I usually will throw on some music. Sometimes I do the same at the office (usually jazz) if I can't seem to concentrate and need to block out noise. 

ChloandCoco

@zamora_spin - I also struggle with impatience, which I think is why I plan so many things to do. It's my way of controlling this situation. Once AF is gone and DH and I are HIO it will help me feel proactive. But I like your idea of setting small/achievable fertility related health-goals. That's something I'm going to look into.

catlady1215

Introduce yourself and anything you think is important: number of loss(es), when you had the loss(es) , diagnosis / conditions surrounding loss, etc.
 Loss sept 2016 and MMC December 2016

Status: TTC. Possibly entering TWW

How are things going? What is something that you are struggling with this week? What is going well for you this week? R/R?
What's going well is I've ovulated on the early side of my 'normal' the past 2 cycles. Woohoo! But I already feel doom and gloom over this cycle for some reason.
my dr also agreed last week that some testing for recurrent losses might be needed. Yet when I wrote her back asking who to call etc, she never responded grrr. Really didn't want to have to call in and talk to her through her front desk. That's why I tried the online messaging system.

Any testing coming up/any recent results? Nope

GTKY: Do you listen to music while you are at home/work?  sometimes. I work from home so lifetime movie network is usually on in the background. If not that, then music. I don't like it super quiet.

@acunamatada glad your cycle is cooperating! My first cycle after my first loss was the same. Really made it easier.

@labgrand2012 glad to hear your levels are so low now

@_darth glad to hear you got the all clear!

@chloandcoco I def agree with slowing down. I can relate to filling your time to make time go quicker though! It def helps.

@zamora_spin I'm sorry about the temp drop
I like your plan. I'm extremely impatient with this whole process also.

rachelg777

@acunamatada I'm glad you can *hopefully* be off the bench soon!!
@labgrand2012 Glad you are done with blood draws! I am with you girl, I try not to but still think about how many weeks, etc I would be. It's hard. *hugs* 
@_darth yay for the all clear!
@ChloandCoco Hope you get some much needed rest!
@zamora_spin I am interested in acupuncture too, if you keep going I'll be interested to hear if there is any progress. I am super hesitant to actually start going, I did not have a good experience the 1st and 2nd times I tried it... but for some reason still like it?  Anyway, I am also impatient. What a cruel lesson in patience though. *hugs to you*
@catlady1215 yes to the early O's! woo!

Introduce yourself and anything you think is important: number of loss(es), when you had the loss(es) , diagnosis / conditions surrounding loss, etc. Partial Molar Pregnancy in June

Status: Benched

How are things going? What is something that you are struggling with this week? What is going well for you this week? R/R? I'm struggling a little more this week. I am having crazy PMS symptoms that I've never had before (previously it was a little backache and maybe a day of slight cramps) - I've had every symptom in the book this past week, dizziness, boob pain - you name it. It also made me super down in the dumps. Anyway, trying to dig myself out of that hole. My DH sat me down and asked me how I was because I seemed off this weekend. He reminded me we always have each other and other nice things, which was really cute. Rave: I am meeting a friend I never get to see in a few minutes to go on a run together. 

Any testing coming up/any recent results? Just beta's- down to 6. 

GTKY: Do you listen to music while you are at home/work? Yes to at home, wish I could at work!

zamoraspin

@catlady1215 I'm glad you are pushing for testing and I'm sorry your dr didn't respond to you.
@rachelg777 I have read that AF can be an extra bitch after loss. I'm sorry. Hopeful it's just this first one. I have been curious about acupuncture for a while. It seems like studies are mixed on how helpful it might be, but I figure it's worth a try. I was really tired afterwards yesterday but have felt relaxed today. 

dpjennifer

labgrand2012 It’s rough thinking “This is where I should be” and my therapist is always encouraging me to NOT think that way. Of course, milestones you will still remember, but she tries to remind me to live in the present and to look towards the future, without dwelling on what could/should have been.

zamora_spin I used to be all about the getting healthy for a future pregnancy. Now I’m all about trying not punching people in the face who mention little things I should do to try to prepare for a pregnancy. *sigh* Glad you’re so motivated to work on it though!  J  Hopefully it will be more successful for you!

rachelg777 Yeah, AF definitely can be a biotch after MC. Sometimes it’s like ALL the symptoms at once.

Status: Benched

How are things going? What is something that you are struggling with this week? What is going well for you this week? R/R? Doing ok. More bitterness right now. Is what it is...

GTKY: Do you listen to music while you are at home/work? It depends on what I'm doing. I like to listen to music while cleaning/organizing. I also listen to music sometimes at work (more classical if I need to concentrate). Sometimes I'll listen to audiobooks if I'm not reading/proofing/seriously concentrating on what I'm doing.

zamoraspin

@dpjennifer I have kind of an annoying need to try a bunch of stuff. I think in my case it's because if I do get ku again it will help my mental state to believe I have made some changes so that things will turn out differently (obviously, there is no actual way to know that the changes will help AT ALL). Unsolicited advice sucks and there is also just so much random advice out there it can be hard to know what to listen to. I'm sorry trying all the things has not been helpful for you, that must be really difficult and frustrating. I don't know exactly how you feel, but I know that it would make me bitter too.  All I've got is creepy internet hugs and a listening ear if you need it. 

dpjennifer

zamora_spin  LOL. no problems!  LIke I said, I went through that stage and was all about the eating healthier and exercising more and drinking all the raspberry leaf tea... Now I'm all like "Bitter hag, table for 1" Hoping it goes much better for you.    Like you said, it's definitely good for the emotional/mental state of things!

zamoraspin

@dpjennifer That table flipping gif is perfect and merited and you should flip over all the tables because you are in the hardest place and have been through so much. You are so strong, it is really amazing to me. I think I've said this before but there is such a loss of innocence with mc, and I can only imagine with RPL it is so much worse. 

chickenandabean

Introduce yourself and anything you think is important: number of loss(es), when you had the loss(es) , diagnosis / conditions surrounding loss, etc. 
Hey y'all, unfortunately I'm a new member to this club, first miscarriage at 6 weeks as of two days ago. I'm not typically a poster but it seems nice to not have to REALLY explain myself to someone, and y'all seem like the sort that get it. Miscarriage happened naturally, no diagnoses at this time. 

Status: waiting for the awful to be over, TTC when the timing is right (sorry, I don't know most of the acronyms yet). 

How are things going? What is something that you are struggling with this week? What is going well for you this week? R/R?
This week has been an emotional roller coaster, but I've had a little time to grasp what's happening. Buying baby gifts for friends was surprisingly sad, this morning, that I didn't have my own to be planning for anymore. 

Any testing coming up/any recent results?
In two weeks I'll have another beta drawn to hopefully track hCG down to 0 to confirm that it's over. 

GTKY: Do you listen to music while you are at home/work?
Not as much as I have the TV on

zamoraspin

@jcnolan I'm so sorry for your loss. I know this is a very difficult time. I went through a loss in mid-June, it was my first pregnancy. It is very normal for a lot of things to be difficult right now - buying baby gifts and attending baby showers are both very hard following a loss. It is ok to decline invitations to showers and other events that are too difficult. I also found loss to be very lonely IRL, with many good intentioned loved ones not really understanding what I was going through. It definitely helps to have this place to talk about it with other women who have been through similar experiences. Take care of yourself and remember that grief is not linear - time is going to help but there will continue to be ups and downs. 

ChloandCoco

@jcnolan I'm so sorry for your loss and that you find yourself here. I went through a loss a month and a half ago and what really helped me was to remember that it's ok to not be ok. I hope you have a support system in real life, if not, the ladies here very supportive and understanding.

chickenandabean

@ChloandCoco @zamora_spin thank you, luckily I have a great support system IRL, but few who have been through this themselves. I wish you both the best in getting back to a BMB! 

rachelg777

@jcnolan I'm so sorry fo your loss. I am definitely grateful for the ladies on this board. Hopefully it can also be a source of comfort and encouragement for you.