February 2018 Moms

Gender Disappointment?


Re: Gender Disappointment?

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    To some it can be i was disspointed that my fist child was my ds but i love him dearly but it took me awhile to get it in my head that i was carri g a boy not a girl. You do t know what people have been through to why they have a certain preference my parents are addicts and rapist so i would love a girl so that i can prove that just because you have a shit childhood its no excuse that and i desperately want to have a girl so i can be the mother i never got who did dresses and dance and supported me in every way possi le. I love my son and i let him do sports and he is the worlds biggest mamas boy but i still dream of a little girl so if that makes me a horri le human being than i guess i am a shitty mom
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    starlastarla member
    Well said @Megzb510!
    Me: 34 | DH: 33
    Married Aug. 2013
    TTC #1 Sep. 2016
    BFP Jan. 15, 2017; MMC Mar. 4, 2017 at 10w6d
    BFP Jun. 5, 2017; MMC Aug. 2, 2017 at 11w6d
    BFP Nov. 20, 2017; ended in CP
    All the tests. Everything normal except treated for ureaplasma and DH potentially has high DNAF.
    BFP Dec. 25, 2017; EDD Sep. 5, 2018; DD arrived Aug. 26th
    My chart: https://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/63f71d

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    With my fist baby i was a little bit dissappointed that it wasnt a boy..but in no way was i mad or upset. My daughter is my pride and joy and i cant imagine my life without her. This time around we are hoping for a boy..but we are praying more for a healthy baby and thanking god for being able to conceive because so many others cant.
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    I am really sorry about your childhood.  I want you to know that you have nothing to prove.  
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    Ashoes123Ashoes123 member
    edited July 2017
    Sooooooo... you're saying it's wrong that I'll be super gender disappointed if it's a boy because it means I'll have to repaint the baby room?  Because I'm feeling Lebowski level lazy these days. 
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    Major lurker alert here (hope that's okay, apologies if not)- but I dealt with being majorly disappointed (and surprised as insane that sounds) when I found out I was having a boy last year. For whatever reason I had always pictured having a girl when I was growing up and I didn't realize how strong that image was in my mind until the ultrasound tech told us we were having a boy. I was pretty upset for about 24 hours but then forced myself to get over it and accept it because I knew rationally that I was being completely stupid and needed to be grateful that I was having a healthy baby. 

    Then when he got here I had a moment of "wow, I have a boy," but ever since then he's been the love of my life besides DH. I can't imagine him being a girl and I wouldn't trade him for 2 girls. I love him so much and can't imagine let alone wish he was a girl now. 

    WORF: I did not come here to admire the scenery. 
    DAX: If you say so. I guess we should just go home. 
    WORF: Well maybe. I would not be so hasty. 
    DAX: I take it the scenery has improved? 
    WORF: A few months ago, when I was commanding the Defiant on a scouting mission in the Gamma Quadrant, we encountered a protostar cluster, a swirling mass of colour set against a background of glowing clouds and burning sky. It was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen, until now. 
    DAX: I've got to take you on vacation more often. 

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    Last night in bed DH prefictird we are having a girl bc all of his high school friends just jad bsbies...all girls. NOOOO. I want a boy :)
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    Being so upset they don't want to be pregnant anymore defiantly sounds crazy! I've got two boys 6 and 1 and yesterday found our I'm pregnant. I've always wanted a girl and admit I was little upset when they said boy but I defiantly wouldn't change it for the world. And again I want a girl but there's no girls in my family, only boys so I expect I will be having another boy! I will be slightly upset but I expect it so hopefully I'll be okay. I'll still be happy with a healthy baby and love it as much as Id love a girl but so many fun things to do with girls hehehe
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    Talk about a generalization...
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    Americans in general are so accustomed to getting what they want all the time that gender disappointment is a real thing. I think it's absurd.

    Talk about a generalization...
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    rainafire77rainafire77 member
    edited July 2017
    I would like to have a boy but if it's a girl I'll be happy. I've had back to back losses so just getting to bring home my baby will be amazing and awesome. 

    Edit to say: I already have a 15yo DD so having a boy would be one of each. I kinda like that. Of course, the girls clothes section is more fun to shop in.....

    ****TW Signature****
    BabyFruit Ticker
    DD born 04/28/2002
    Married DH 03/25/2017
    1st MMC 08/13/2016 2nd MMC 02/14/2017
    BFP 06/16/17 Rainbow DS Born 02/05/2018

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    I kinda feel like waiting until the birth to find out the sex puts even more importance on that small fact. I want to find out as soon as possible only because it's another thing that will make me feel closer to the baby growing inside of me. I am dreaming of a girl, but only because I think I'm feeling a girl in there... but I would be OVER the moon with a boy as long as he's healthy. This will be my rainbow baby as well, if all works out, and with the current gender norms being so challenged in this day and age- I don't really see why it matters enough to even "wait and see". I want all info about my baby! Does it have webbed feet? Does it have a high chance of Down Syndrome? Is it sexed a female? Does it have blue eyes? That's all important now - and at the birth I think I'm going to be too preoccupied by the fact that I grew a human to care whether or not it has a willy. :wink:
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    It is unfair to trivialize how other people feel. When someone gets attached to a certain gender, I think it goes deeper than that. They are already starting to form a bond with the child they think they are having, and finding out that they are getting a different child can feel like a true loss. It doesn't mean they can't form a bond with the "new" child or that they won't love that child, but they can certainly miss what might have been. 

    I know that I want a girl. I've always envisioned myself with daughters. I really really want this baby to be a girl...but I think it's a boy. I'll be honest, there will be that feeling of disappointment if it is a boy, but I'll move on and I'll find the joy in having a boy, and yes, I will love him. 
    That's an interesting perspective and I've never thought of it in those terms. I "felt" my son was a girl during pregnancy. I honestly didn't have a preference at all, but when I found out he was a boy, it took me a few days to change my brain. I really had bonded with the idea of a girl and didn't even know it! I found joy very quickly.  :)

    This thread is so interesting - so many feels!

    @essentialpeace I am desperate to find out the gender ASAP because of exactly what you said. I "feel" very strongly that I'm carrying a boy, and have even had a few vivid dreams to that effect.

    Ever since I was a little kid, I always thought my first child would be a girl. (I know, I'm one of those crazies who has always dreamed of motherhood ❤). But then with this pregnancy I kept feeling I was carrying a boy and I am SHOCKED over how fast I bonded with the idea of having a son. I think often of "my son" and I think about "him" a lot. I think about baby blue clothes and matching outfits for him and DH and how much I love "him."

    But I know that there is also a 50/50 chance that I'm carrying a girl! If I find out I am having a girl, I won't be disappointed at all - but it will take a moment to change my brain like you said to the reality of something different from what I thought I "knew." This is why I will get the NIPT lolll, so I can know for sure and adjust my dreams accordingly :smiley:
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