TTCAL Check-in Week of 6/26 — The Bump
Trying to Get Pregnant

TTCAL Check-in Week of 6/26

**This is a general trigger warning that CP, miscarriage / spontaneous abortion, selective abortion due to medical complications, and / or stillbirth may be mentioned.** 

Introduce yourself and anything you think is important: number of loss(es), when you had the loss(es) , diagnosis / conditions surrounding loss, etc.

Status:

How are things going? What is something that you are struggling with this week? What is going well for you this week? R/R?


Any testing coming up/any recent results?

GTKY: The three items you'd take with you to a deserted island (food and water are a given) 
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Re: TTCAL Check-in Week of 6/26


  • Introduce yourself and anything you think is important: number of loss(es), when you had the loss(es) , diagnosis / conditions surrounding loss, etc.

    Status: TWW

    How are things going? What is something that you are struggling with this week? What is going well for you this week? R/R?
    I thought my BSC would be quieter this month, but because I have a positive cycle to compare to now, it's just as bad. I hate it. And I'm so nervous about MC happening again. 

    Any testing coming up/any recent results? Gonna try to hold off POAS until Thursday, that's 13dpo, which is when I got my BFP last month. 

    GTKY: The three items you'd take with you to a deserted island (food and water are a given) I know I should have an answer to this since it's my question, but I don't. I'll come back to it. 
    ChloandCoco
  • Status: Benched. CD 21

    How are things going? What is something that you are struggling with this week? What is going well for you this week? R/R?
    The Wedding from the past weekend went great! Glad that it was a good time and not stressful for me. In other news... my stupid body and BBT needs to straighten its crap out. I've been getting some sort of weird tri-phasic type pattern since my last MC and it's confusing for knowing when I O'd and when to expect AF. (It's also confusing to know when we need to use some sort of 'protection' so we don't get KU while benched). C'mon body... figure it the F out!

    Any testing coming up/any recent results? Still needing to lose weight...

    GTKY: The three items you'd take with you to a deserted island (food and water are a given) My husband (cause he's all sorts of useful in survival type situations), a knife, and a good book so I'm not bored while hubby is being all kinds of useful. HA! :)

    Love GIF

    Me: 34    DH: 38

    MC #1: D&C Oct 23, 2015 (7.5 weeks)
    Married: Nov. 7, 2015
    MC #2: July 1, 2016 (5.5 weeks) 
    MC #3: October 17, 2016 (CP)
    RPL testing November 2016-January 2017
    MC #4: Feb. 28, 2017 (CP)
    Additional RPL testing March-November 2017
    Possibly giving up because I just can't even anymore...
    #BitterHagPartyOf1

    BFP 1/16/2019  
    HCG blood qualitative test - between 5 and 25... FML...

    fuck my life GIF

    ChloandCocodukestar5
  • Loading the player...
  • @dpjennifer Sorry about your stupid BBT! And I was going to say "can't count other people as an item" cause otherwise I knew everyone would bring their partners :) What book would you bring?
  • @looeeze Was debating of DH was considered 'an item' or not. HA! 
    Uncertain on the book... would probably depend on how I was feeling at the time. But definitely something longer

    Love GIF

    Me: 34    DH: 38

    MC #1: D&C Oct 23, 2015 (7.5 weeks)
    Married: Nov. 7, 2015
    MC #2: July 1, 2016 (5.5 weeks) 
    MC #3: October 17, 2016 (CP)
    RPL testing November 2016-January 2017
    MC #4: Feb. 28, 2017 (CP)
    Additional RPL testing March-November 2017
    Possibly giving up because I just can't even anymore...
    #BitterHagPartyOf1

    BFP 1/16/2019  
    HCG blood qualitative test - between 5 and 25... FML...

    fuck my life GIF

    looeeze
  • ntroduce yourself and anything you think is important: number of loss(es), when you had the loss(es) , diagnosis / conditions surrounding loss, etc.

    Status: TTA for one month. 

    How are things going? What is something that you are struggling with this week? What is going well for you this week? R/R?
     
    I worked out for the first time since my MC this morning, and man was it hard!! hoping to drop some weight while TTA. My rave is that the good thing is my constipation is gone and it is nice to be regular again! 

    Any testing coming up/any recent results? Had my appointment this morning with my OB, and he said to wait for one cycle before trying again. He was so nice though, I am sure it is not nice for him to have to talk about MC. But he reassured me that there was nothing that could have been done and has not impact on future pregnancies. I was nervous as I had a UTI for like a month and had two round of antibiotics, but he said that wouldn't have done anything. 

    GTKY: The three items you'd take with you to a deserted island (food and water are a given) That is a hard, I think maybe my pillow as I have a hard time sleeping without it, my dogs and magnifying glass so I can start fires. 

    @looeeze GL with fighting the urge to POAS! I had to buy cheap wondfos because of how often I wanted to POAS. 
    @dpjennifer sorry your body is being a jerk right now!
    BFP #1 1/4/14  |  Diagnosed with Trisomy 13 at 12 weeks 3/6/14  |  MMC 3/21/14  |   D&C 3/24/14
    BFP #2 7/1/14  |  DS born March 2015
    BFP#3 5/22/17 | MC 6/17/17 at 7w3d
    ChloandCoco
  • @looeeze FX for you and a positive test on Thursday along with a sticky bean. It's only natural to feel anxiety about another mc. I think there's a loss of innocence about pregnancy after mc and it sucks. 

    @dpjennifer
    Can you check CM or maybe even OPK to narrow down your FW so you can TTA more easily? 

    Status: 
    Self-imposed bench until after my follow-up this Thursday. Pretty sure I'm going to O before that appt so I think we'll just be waiting until next cycle. I go back and forth on it still though, lol. It seems like a shame to waste a possibly perfectly good egg. 

    How are things going? What is something that you are struggling with this week? What is going well for you this week? R/R? 
    We spent a lot of time this weekend working on organizing our house. The downside is that despite all that work it looks terrible, but the upside is that we made a lot of progress even if it looks worse for now. I also fixed our vacuum! We have a nice Dyson MH bought months ago, except that since we've gotten it the brush bar doesn't work right and makes a terrible noise on carpet. This weekend I sat down with it and some internet videos and managed to get the brush bar to work right. I probably got lucky with it but it felt like a victory. I don't really have any complaints yet the week is so new, except it's nice outside and I'm not outside.

    Any testing coming up/any recent results? Just going in for follow-up this Thursday. 

    GTKY: The three items you'd take with you to a deserted island (food and water are a given) Ok, first of all I am a terrible survivalist and I'd probably die - we sometimes watch Naked and Afraid and every time I cannot understand the motivation to voluntarily survive in the wild. However, my knowledge of that show tells me I would bring the following: (1) a pot (2) a knife/machete (3) a fire starter. 
    Me: 37 | DH: 35 
    BFP #1 5/14/17 (EDD 1/24/18) MMC Confirmed 6/13/17
    BFP #2 8/12/17 ended in CP 8/20/17
    BFP #3 10/12/17, EDD 6/27/18, hCG drop and no fetal development at 6w, D&C 11/3/17
    BFP #4 4/21/18, EDD 1/3/19, mc due to Trisomy 22 after HB stopped at 8w 
    Sept 2018 ER - 15R, 10M, 10F, 9 blasts, 5 PGS normal
    Transfer of 1 PGS normal embryo leading to BFP #5, baby boy EDD 8/29/19 


    ChloandCoco
  • labgrand2012 Enjoy a relaxing cycle off and good luck on dropping the weight!

    zamora_spin Yeah, I've been checking CM... TRY to check my cervix, but of course, being benched has me less committed to this than I should be. It's just that since the last MC, the temps and CM aren't doing what they had been before. So... it's kinda confusing. Probably should just use condoms all the time... *sigh*  Just whining. And hoping that in the next few months before we get the green light to try again, the cycles will have either gone back to 'normal' of some sort or will show a definitive pattern that will let me know better what's going on now. Stupid body doing something different after every MC.  #LossSucks.  Also, are you going to bring those things but not know how to use them?  I saw a survival guy start a fire with a flashlight!  So that was cool.

    Love GIF

    Me: 34    DH: 38

    MC #1: D&C Oct 23, 2015 (7.5 weeks)
    Married: Nov. 7, 2015
    MC #2: July 1, 2016 (5.5 weeks) 
    MC #3: October 17, 2016 (CP)
    RPL testing November 2016-January 2017
    MC #4: Feb. 28, 2017 (CP)
    Additional RPL testing March-November 2017
    Possibly giving up because I just can't even anymore...
    #BitterHagPartyOf1

    BFP 1/16/2019  
    HCG blood qualitative test - between 5 and 25... FML...

    fuck my life GIF

  • edited June 2017
    I'll be back later for comments, have to get right to work this morning.

    Status:
    WFAF...womp womp

    How are things going? What is something that you are struggling with this week? What is going well for you this week? R/R?
    a little better than last cycle's crazy hormone fueled depression, but still not great. Now I'm dealing with the guilt that if one of the next two cycles is our time, I'll have to miss my sister's wedding in the spring. We've been at this a year now, so I certainly don't want to TTA, but I'm worried she or my mom will be upset with me because they don't know the full extent of what I've gone through. Obviously I'm putting the cart before the horse, so I should really just cross that bridge when I get there. 

    Any testing coming up/any recent results? BFNs through 14 dpo, so stopped progesterone and WFAF (probably tomorrow if it's the same as last cycle)

    GTKY: I'd probably bring an ultimate survival help book. I like instructions. I'd probably also bring a hammock to sleep in, and a giant puzzle book to pass the time.

    Me: 30 | DH: 31
    Met: August 2006
    Married: July 2012
    TTC #1 since June 2016

    ***TW***

    BFP: 7/12/16 | MC: 9/12/16
    BFP: 1/18/17 | MMC: 2/13/17
    BFP: 10/7/17 | EDD: 6/21/17

    MTHFR: homozygous A1298C
    ChloandCocokbamomma33
  • zamora_spinzamora_spin
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    edited June 2017
    @labgrand2012 I hope this cycle passes quickly for you. It's hard to get back into the workout routine, I did a 20 minute workout this morning and it felt hard!

    @dpjennifer I know how to use that stuff in theory - for one thing I'd want to boil my water just in case, so thus the pot. But yeah, again, I'd probably die in a survival situation. Also, edited to add, I'm so sorry your cycle is being wonky. I can only imagine how much RPL sucks, you don't need your body confusing you on top of that. 

    @icecubeinthedesert Would you feel comfortable, if you did get ku during these next two cycles, sharing with your mom and sister how challenging your journey has been? I had a sister miss my wedding because she felt like it was too close to a college final. I got over it pretty quickly. 
    Me: 37 | DH: 35 
    BFP #1 5/14/17 (EDD 1/24/18) MMC Confirmed 6/13/17
    BFP #2 8/12/17 ended in CP 8/20/17
    BFP #3 10/12/17, EDD 6/27/18, hCG drop and no fetal development at 6w, D&C 11/3/17
    BFP #4 4/21/18, EDD 1/3/19, mc due to Trisomy 22 after HB stopped at 8w 
    Sept 2018 ER - 15R, 10M, 10F, 9 blasts, 5 PGS normal
    Transfer of 1 PGS normal embryo leading to BFP #5, baby boy EDD 8/29/19 


    kbamomma33
  • I'm Laura. I had my first loss at the beginning of the month and I had a DS who will be two in August. We tried for 15ish months before our BFP in May, and had done some preliminary testing for infertility. My doctor leans towards thinking my anxiety was causing my problems and I've been on an anxiety med since April. She also told us to try again unless we didn't feel ready yet. I went back and forth or how I felt about it, and DH's vote was to keep trying. So here we are. 

    Status: TWW until Wednesday or Friday. Not sure. First cycle AL. 

    How are things going? What is something that you are struggling with this week? What is going well for you this week? R/R?
    As I said last week, everything is a bigger mindfuck AL. **TW** I have been having super crazy, vivid dreams for several days so I spontaneously took a test yesterday am. I was half asleep and it was blank. There were no lines. I'm impatient so I checked it again right when I climbed into bed, and it was still just blank. So I threw it on the nightstand. Then DS woke up so DH woke up and around 8-10 minutes, I grabbed the test to show him how ridiculous it was to be blank. There were two lines. And that was my last test. $&@?! **End TW**

    Any testing coming up/any recent results?
    I had DH go buy FR Rapid tests yesterday because they have a higher minimum HCG and I took one yesterday afternoon. Faint positive. My brain doesn't trust it. So I am planning on taking the other test Friday. I will definitely be late at that point. 

    GTKY: The three items you'd take with you to a deserted island (food and water are a given) 
    Solar powered satellite phone. A hammock. A leatherman. 
  • @looeeze good luck Thursday. I'm hoping for good things for you!

    @dpjennifer I'm glad the wedding went well. And I swear my cycle gets freaky every time it is really important for me to know what is going on. :neutral:

    @labgrand2012 I'm glad you had a good doctor's appointment.

    @zamora_spin I understand completely he conflicting emotions with deciding when to try. Also I should have been cleaning/organizing/decluttering my house since DH was home early on Friday. But I was totally lazy.

    @icecubeinthedesert I have come to th e conclusion that I can't take myself out of the game because of something that is coming up. Too much second guessing and having a baby is more important for us. I think your family will understand if something amazing happens for you in 9 months. ❤


  • @mdfarmchick Had you followed your hCG to zero already? I only yesterday had a negative test AL and the highest my hCG ever measured was 3800.
    Me: 37 | DH: 35 
    BFP #1 5/14/17 (EDD 1/24/18) MMC Confirmed 6/13/17
    BFP #2 8/12/17 ended in CP 8/20/17
    BFP #3 10/12/17, EDD 6/27/18, hCG drop and no fetal development at 6w, D&C 11/3/17
    BFP #4 4/21/18, EDD 1/3/19, mc due to Trisomy 22 after HB stopped at 8w 
    Sept 2018 ER - 15R, 10M, 10F, 9 blasts, 5 PGS normal
    Transfer of 1 PGS normal embryo leading to BFP #5, baby boy EDD 8/29/19 


  • @icecubeinthedesert I’d say you may as well try. You never know what will happen.

    zamora_spin Clearly I need to watch more survival shows!  And yeah, some weird things (even weirder than normal) happening since last MC. Weird tri-phasic BBT chart, CM craziness, and constipation like you can’t believe. I’ve been waiting for things to chill out, but maybe this is the new normal for me? Blah

    Love GIF

    Me: 34    DH: 38

    MC #1: D&C Oct 23, 2015 (7.5 weeks)
    Married: Nov. 7, 2015
    MC #2: July 1, 2016 (5.5 weeks) 
    MC #3: October 17, 2016 (CP)
    RPL testing November 2016-January 2017
    MC #4: Feb. 28, 2017 (CP)
    Additional RPL testing March-November 2017
    Possibly giving up because I just can't even anymore...
    #BitterHagPartyOf1

    BFP 1/16/2019  
    HCG blood qualitative test - between 5 and 25... FML...

    fuck my life GIF

  • @looeeze Thinking of you and hoping for a peaceful few days and then a BFP on Thursday!

    @dpjennifer I'm in the same boat! I have no idea what my body is doing... 1. I'm temping (badly) because of night shift and it's all over the place 2. My HCG isn't to 0 (but almost) and I'm having CM and some cramps... No idea what's happening in there. Anyway, I hope your body straightens itself out soon and you are able to get some peace of mind!

    @labgrand2012 I'm glad your appt went well!! I have been having tough workouts getting back into it as well. It has been getting a little easier though. Also, I'm not sure if this is weird but I'm glad your constipation is gone! :)

    @zamora_spin I'm sorry you are likely to O before Thursday, at least things are getting back to normal with your body? You have better self control than me. I am supposed to be on pelvic rest until Friday (but I feel like there is also a chance I will O before then), but my DH is out of town until Friday. I would totally disobey doc's orders and hop on him if he were here. Sigh. 

    @icecubeinthedesert I'm with @zamora_spin, If it happens, definitely have a conversation with them if you feel comfortable.

    Introduce yourself and anything you think is important: number of loss(es), when you had the loss(es) , diagnosis / conditions surrounding loss, etc.

    MC 1.5 weeks ago with #1, D&C June 16. 

    Status: Benched for 2 weeks after D&C. Pelvic rest.

    How are things going? What is something that you are struggling with this week? What is going well for you this week? R/R?

    Things are going better now. I had a nice trip home to see my sisters and parents which was comforting. I am trying to start figuring out what is going on with my body because we want to TTC right away- it is difficult! My HCG is not back to 0, but <50 and I know there is a chance of ovulation after that. I started having some mild ovary pain last night along with EWCM. My DH is out of town until Friday so if I really am O'ing than there is no chance.

    Any testing coming up/any recent results? Friday

    GTKY: The three items you'd take with you to a deserted island (food and water are a given) 

    Hmm... 1. Flare 2. Knife 3. Unlimited matches (if unlimited is an option :) ).

    Me: 30 | H: 30

    MMC: 6/2017 (10w5d)
    DS: May 2018
    TTC #2

    BFP: 9/1/19  EDD: 5/14/20

  • @mdfarmchick I am a little confused, *TW* Did the + pregnancy test actually happen or was it part of your dream? *TW*

    Me: 30 | H: 30

    MMC: 6/2017 (10w5d)
    DS: May 2018
    TTC #2

    BFP: 9/1/19  EDD: 5/14/20

  • @zamora_spin The highest mine was was 900 and it dropped to 120 in 48 hours during my miscarriage. I had blood work done on 9 June, a week after my miscarriage and it was 9.9. They called me back the following Monday because they wanted it below 5. So I had blood work done on 16 June. No follow up call; so it should have been below 5/not pregnant. 

    @rachelg777 no the test was not part of the dream. It was just ridiculousness.
  • Hey you guys! I have been so busy, I ended up taking an unplanned two week Bump break.  

    Introduce yourself and anything you think is important: number of loss(es), when you had the loss(es) , diagnosis / conditions surrounding loss, etc.


    MC at 6 weeks in March

    Status: WTO

    How are things going? What is something that you are struggling with this week? What is going well for you this week? R/R? 

    RANT: Here's the latest update about my horrible (former!) OBGYN! A couple weeks ago I called them to request a medical records transfer in hopes that the records would be at the new office in time for my appt. Well, that didn't happen, and I'm STILL trying to get them to transfer. I ended up filing out the form at the new OBGYN and they faxed it over. A week later, I get a phone call from the shitty old OBGYN saying they got the fax, but there's a $15 charge for the record transfer. I mean, couldn't they have told me that in my first phone call? But whatever, I paid the fee because I want this to be over. HOWEVER, the lady called me back the next day saying I still owe $37 for a transvaginal ultrasound from March. I really feel like we could have discussed ALL OF THESE THINGS in the first freaking phone call! Once this is all over and I know my records have transferred, I am going to plaster terrible reviews all over the internet.

    RAVE: The new OB is freaking GREAT! It's a much smaller office with only two doctors, so I feel like I will really get to know them and trust them if I do get KTFU again. Everyone in the office was super nice and seemed really invested in their job. The doctor actually had me sit down in his office and have a conversation with him before going to the exam room. It sounds stupid, but I've never had that happen before, so I was super impressed. Based on the conversation, he ordered lots of bloodwork, mostly genetic screening. I explained to the doc that DH has hemochromatosis (he inherited 2 mutated copies of that gene, meaning that any children that we have will be carriers), and he immediately said that he wanted to test me for it (my previous OB did not understand why I would want to be tested). He is also running an Ashkenazi Jewish Genetic Panel. I'm not Jewish, but I'm from an Eastern European ethnic background and he felt like we should go ahead and run it. Also, I found out I'm somehow not immune to rubella, so I'm really thankful I found a doctor that actually wanted to get some information about me and my health before I show up at his office already pregnant.

    Oh! This new OB office has a psychologist as well. She specializes in couples counseling and counseling related to reproductive issues. How freaking awesome is that?! I would totally utilize that if DH and I didn't already have a great counselor that has been helping us through this.

    Any testing coming up/any recent results? Waiting for genetic test results!

    GTKY: The three items you'd take with you to a deserted island (food and water are a given) I'm definitely going to bring a knife. A book, probably something like The Mists of Avalon. It's long, it's about powerful women, and I feel like I can pick up some survival tips in there somewhere. I'm not sure about the last item though. Maybe a rope? It's useful, and depending on the deserted island maybe I can do some rock climbing.

    Sorry about the super long DD. I'm gonna go ahead and post this and then respond, because I'm pretty sure I've missed 47 posts on this thread in the time it took me to type this.  :D
    kbamomma33ChloandCoco
  • @labgrand2012 A good BM can change your whole day! I'm glad you're feeling better.
    @zamora_spin Loss of innocence is a great term for what I'm feeling. And way to fix the vacuum! It might feel small but those little things can be so satisfying.
    @icecubeinthedesert I'm sorry you're feeling all the things. We benched our TTC for a few months earlier this year because the EDD would've meant missing my SIL's wedding, which wasn't an option, but I still felt weird letting go of two months. Like, what if those were the months?! 
    @rachelg777 Glad you got to see family <3

    zamora_spin
  • @looeeze - Yeah, TTCAL BSC is freaking awful. I dread POAS, because it seems like I'll be upset no matter what the result is.

    @labgrand2012 - Dude, before the MC I had horrible constipation too. I'll never take pooping for granted again!

    @zamora_spin - My house always looks worse when I'm cleaning or organizing. God forbid I have to stop in the middle of a project! I'm also certain that in the event of a zombie apocalypse or something I will be among the first to die. Even though I'm fairly handy, I have no survival skills. 

    @icecubeinthedesert - I understand feeling guilty about potentially missing the wedding, but I bet your sister and mom would understand!

    @dpjennifer @rachelg777 - Ugh, it really sucks trying to figure out your body's new normal. Apparently my new normal is cycles that last anywhere from 27 to 34 days. Fun!


    looeeze
  • @looeeze - I'm crossing all my fingers and toes that you get your BFP this week!
    @dpjennifer  - I'm sorry your body is still figuring things out. It's very frustrating.
    @labgrand2012  - It's good that you were able to get some reassurance from your OB and that he was so nice about it.
    @zamora_spin  - Yay for making progress on your house and it's definitely a win that you were able to fix your dyson.
    @icecubeinthedesert  - I'm sorry you feel guilty about trying during your next two cycles. But if you do get pregnant (which I really hope you do), could you talk to your sister and/or mom about what you went through and maybe that would help them understand?
    @mdfarmchick  - FX for you! 
    @rachelg777  - It's great that you were able to have a good time with your family. But I feel the same way, I just want to start trying again immediately.
    @msmeeseeks  - That seems a little ridiculous that your former OB's office keeps messing up. But it sounds like your new OB is awesome!

    Introduce yourself and anything you think is important: number of loss(es), when you had the loss(es) , diagnosis / conditions surrounding loss, etc. - Loss on June 5th, it was a blighted ovum (BO).

    Status: Back on the Bench - CD22 - My OB's office called to reschedule my appointment, and when I told the RN I didn't really need an appointment I just want to know when we can start TTC again, she said benched until my HCG reaches 0 (or anything below 5), but she's also going to double check with my OB because I had a BO. She also scheduled weekly bloodwork until I reach 0. 

    How are things going? What is something that you are struggling with this week? What is going well for you this week? R/R? Rant - Things are going ok, I'm still struggling with being around people that know what happened but don't watch what they say. I need to learn to not take it personally. Rave - I'm going to do some field work this week, so it will be nice to get out in the mountains for a bit (I have a desk job, but sometimes I go out if they are short staffed). 

    Any testing coming up/any recent results? I just went for bloodwork and then weekly until my HCG reaches 0. I'm really hoping it's close to or below 25 (last Monday it was 193).

    GTKY: The three items you'd take with you to a deserted island (food and water are a given) A swiss army knife, a really good sleeping bag, and a cooking pot.
    DD - August 2015
    TTC #2 - April 2017
    BFP May 13, 2017 - NMC June 5, 2017 (dx blighted ovum)
    BFP August 6, 2017- CP August 17, 2017
    BFP October 14, 2017 - NMC November 5, 2017
    BFP February 1, 2018 - CP February 3, 2018
    BFP May 25, 2018 - Due February 5, 2019


    looeezezamora_spin
  • @ChloandCoco if it makes you feel better my HCG was 120 after my miscarriage and 9.9 the next week. So I did labs the week after that and didn't get a call, so it was <5. Hopefully yours drops just as quickly. 
    ChloandCoco
  • rachelg777 Ugh. Nightshift must be killer for trying to keep BBT. Especially if you change shifts. Good luck figuring that out!

    msmeeseeks  Sorry about the horrible OBGYN. As if we aren’t dealing with enough with MC, you don’t need drama from them too!  New OB sounds awesome and I wish you luck in dealing with them!  J  Hopefully it will be a MUCH more positive situation! Also, 27-34 day cycles is crap. Mine are usually 35-37 days, but I’ve had wonky ones in there too. (which is also why I’m confused about my BBT cause if I did O already, which CM and whatnot SEEMS to indicate, then I’d have an exact 28 day cycle which is weird as crap for me!) It sucks not knowing when AF is arriving.  *sigh* Hope you’ll straighten out soon!

    Love GIF

    Me: 34    DH: 38

    MC #1: D&C Oct 23, 2015 (7.5 weeks)
    Married: Nov. 7, 2015
    MC #2: July 1, 2016 (5.5 weeks) 
    MC #3: October 17, 2016 (CP)
    RPL testing November 2016-January 2017
    MC #4: Feb. 28, 2017 (CP)
    Additional RPL testing March-November 2017
    Possibly giving up because I just can't even anymore...
    #BitterHagPartyOf1

    BFP 1/16/2019  
    HCG blood qualitative test - between 5 and 25... FML...

    fuck my life GIF

    looeeze
  • @msmeeseeks Your new OB sounds great! Here's hoping you get the healthcare you deserve. And yes, I feel like no good can come out of POAS right now, no matter what. But it's still so hard to resist, why?!?!?!
    @ChloandCoco sounds like your hcg is dropping pretty quickly, FX it stays that way.



  • @mdfarmchick - Thanks, I'm trying to be realistic and tell myself that I will need to go back next week. I just don't want to miss a chance to TTC. 
    DD - August 2015
    TTC #2 - April 2017
    BFP May 13, 2017 - NMC June 5, 2017 (dx blighted ovum)
    BFP August 6, 2017- CP August 17, 2017
    BFP October 14, 2017 - NMC November 5, 2017
    BFP February 1, 2018 - CP February 3, 2018
    BFP May 25, 2018 - Due February 5, 2019


    mdfarmchick
  • @mdfarmchick gotcha! Well fx for you and try not to let your AL brain get the best of you!!

    Me: 30 | H: 30

    MMC: 6/2017 (10w5d)
    DS: May 2018
    TTC #2

    BFP: 9/1/19  EDD: 5/14/20

    mdfarmchick
  • Introduce yourself and anything you think is important: number of loss(es), when you had the loss(es) , diagnosis / conditions surrounding loss, etc.   back to back losses sept2016 and december2016 got benched after that till august but decided to try again early

    Status:  tww

    How are things going? What is something that you are struggling with this week? What is going well for you this week? R/R?  
    I'm anxious this week. this is our first month trying again and its scary. really scary. I have moments where I get my hopes all up and then those memories come back and it kinda makes me sick to my stomach to think of it happening again.

    Any testing coming up/any recent results?  i'll take a test later this week probably... no earlier than thurs. but try to hold out till Saturday. and my thyroid needs rechecked, but I'm waiting till next week.

    GTKY: The three items you'd take with you to a deserted island (food and water are a given)    that's tough. probably a knife, something to start fire, and a pan/pot


    @looeeze I'm not even as far along in the tww as you and iii can feel that urge coming through. its an obvious no way for me cause its to early. but later this week will be hard!

    @dpjennifer ; hope your body figures its self out soon!

    @labgrand2012 ;I can't imagine having to have these talks with patients so often. it'd be so sad.

    @Zamora_spin seriously. I always feel the same way with house crap. such a disaster till its done.. it gives me anxiety. but afterwards, its awesome.

    @icecubeinthedesert I'm so sorry about the bfns. and I wouldn't even worry about the wedding. it'd be so sad to miss. but put you and dh first.

    @mdfarmchick keeping fingers crossed for you.

    @rachelg777 hope O will hold off till your dh is back in town.

    @msmeeseeks so glad you found a great office!

    @chloandcoco sorry you're stuck on the bench :(
     



    me:35 DH:34
    DS: born oct 2012
    TFAS: BFP #1 aug16. miscarriage sept16
              BFP #2 nov16 MMC dec16. d&c jan17
              BFP #3 sept17  EDD 5/31/18
    fingers crossed for our rainbow baby
    mdfarmchicklooeeze
  • question for those of you who've had a cycle or two since a mc: did you have a shorter-than-normal luteal phase the cycle after your mc? I'm on dpo 10 but pretty sure tomorrow is CD1 based on the spotting i'm getting :( 
  • @looeeze I started spotting on 8dpo my first full cycle AL. Last cycle, my LP was 11days. 
  • @kbamomma33 thanks. Apologies, I'm on my phone and have a hard time with the the
    app-- how many cycles ago was your loss? And did you end up getting AF early that first cycle post? I have spotting before AF every cycle (including my PG) but never so heavy like it is now. I read that short luteal phases AL were common but it helps to hear it from ppl here instead of random googles. 
  • @looeeze nooo! No spotting. :disappointed:
  • @looeeze This is my 3rd full cycle after my loss (just started- on cd2 now).
    My MC was 4/9 and my first AF after was 5/3 (so 24 days, a little early I guess) I wasn't temping during that time, so I don't know how long my LP was or if I even Od. (I don't count that time as a cycle for TTC purposes, though some people do.) 
    My first full cycle AL (that I tracked and counted) was 27 days with a 9 day LP.
    This past one was 26 days with an 11 day LP. 
    I remember the first AF AL was weird too. I also usually have spotting, but the spotting that time was heavier and a different color than usual. The flow was way heavier and the cramps were horrible.
    looeeze
  • @icecubeinthedesert - It was nice that your co-worker apologized in person later to you. 
    FWIW, and I know it's not the same as missing your sister's wedding, but if I get KU in the next 3 months I will miss my SIL's bachelorette (I'm in the wedding party) and I'm worried that she will think I'm trying to steal her thunder or something. I will probably take her for coffee to explain, but I will cross that bridge if it happens. 
    DD - August 2015
    TTC #2 - April 2017
    BFP May 13, 2017 - NMC June 5, 2017 (dx blighted ovum)
    BFP August 6, 2017- CP August 17, 2017
    BFP October 14, 2017 - NMC November 5, 2017
    BFP February 1, 2018 - CP February 3, 2018
    BFP May 25, 2018 - Due February 5, 2019


  • @catlady1215 Try not to be too anxious. You really have no control over the outcome, so try to look positively!

    @looeeze After a MC nothing is ‘normal.’ So yeah, I’ve had some cycles where my LP was a few days short for sure! But, the next cycle seemed to be a normal range, so I didn’t worry about it. I’ve heard the body can take 6-12 months to adjust back to it’s ‘normal.’ Sorry, I know that’s frustrating.

    Love GIF

    Me: 34    DH: 38

    MC #1: D&C Oct 23, 2015 (7.5 weeks)
    Married: Nov. 7, 2015
    MC #2: July 1, 2016 (5.5 weeks) 
    MC #3: October 17, 2016 (CP)
    RPL testing November 2016-January 2017
    MC #4: Feb. 28, 2017 (CP)
    Additional RPL testing March-November 2017
    Possibly giving up because I just can't even anymore...
    #BitterHagPartyOf1

    BFP 1/16/2019  
    HCG blood qualitative test - between 5 and 25... FML...

    fuck my life GIF

    catlady1215looeeze

  • @looeeze, Good luck later this week! FX for you. I understand the false sense of security. I hope no one takes this the wrong way (please, I'm not trying to be disrespectful of anyone or make anyone feel bad), but I was a 1/1 speshul snoflayke, but obviously that didn't turn out.
    I'm not sure I follow this? I never said I ever had a false sense of security. 
  • @ChloandCoco Always feels weird to say, but I hope your numbers come back at 0 from your test yesterday. I'm sorry you are dealing with folks who don't know what to say and don't get that it's hard to talk about babies/kids right now. That happens a lot with my family right now just because **tw** my sister is pg and due in July so there is a lot of baby and pg talk with my family and I know it is not intended to be hurtful but I have a tolerance for only so much of it **tw** 

    @rachelg777 Yeah, I am trying to be thankful for my body for trying to normalize. It is hard to resist - especially because my hormones are telling me to dtd with MH! At my appt two weeks ago (when we confirmed what was happening) the dr said my cervix was closed but then I took the meds to move things along (which can open cervix) and I just want to be sure risk of infection is not an issue and hear him say one more time that it is fine to try right away. I have been having fertile CM and O pain since Saturday, on Sunday was able to start using OPKs (had to wait for hCG to drop) and they got darker but then lighter again with no temp spike so it's also possible I won't O for a few more days, we'll just see what my body decides to do. I hope your O holds off until YH is back in town so that you can have a shot at ttc this month if you want to. 

    @icecubeinthedesert You are definitely doing the right thing. MH and I also feel somewhat differently about talking about our loss. I told my family, but he didn't tell his. I agree with you that it is one of those things that maybe if people talked about it more it would be a little easier to go through. It felt like some terrible secret at first and that was alleviated when I started talking about it to a limited circle of people. My dr's appt Thursday is my (roughly) two week follow-up just to make sure everything is looking ok and my hormones are at zero. I also plan to ask about timing for an RE referral if we need it. It sounds like we were the same - able to initially get ku pretty quick but then very unlucky. 

    @catlady1215 I'm sorry you're having so much anxiety over ttc again. I don't really have advice, just sending you hugs. 

    @msmeeseeks I'm so glad you found an OB you like better! 

    Me: 37 | DH: 35 
    BFP #1 5/14/17 (EDD 1/24/18) MMC Confirmed 6/13/17
    BFP #2 8/12/17 ended in CP 8/20/17
    BFP #3 10/12/17, EDD 6/27/18, hCG drop and no fetal development at 6w, D&C 11/3/17
    BFP #4 4/21/18, EDD 1/3/19, mc due to Trisomy 22 after HB stopped at 8w 
    Sept 2018 ER - 15R, 10M, 10F, 9 blasts, 5 PGS normal
    Transfer of 1 PGS normal embryo leading to BFP #5, baby boy EDD 8/29/19 


    catlady1215
  • @looeeze, man, that was a bad choice of words on my part. I'm sorry. I meant what you mentioned about high hopes after your positive cycle. I guess to me it feels like a false sense of security in a way, and now it's taking longer each time to get pregnant it feels more painful to me than it used to. That's my CD1 sadness showing through.

    Me: 30 | DH: 31
    Met: August 2006
    Married: July 2012
    TTC #1 since June 2016

    ***TW***

    BFP: 7/12/16 | MC: 9/12/16
    BFP: 1/18/17 | MMC: 2/13/17
    BFP: 10/7/17 | EDD: 6/21/17

    MTHFR: homozygous A1298C
    looeezezamora_spinkbamomma33izza2
  • @icecubeinthedesert That makes sense. I'm sorry about CD1 :( Today feels like a sad sorta day around here. *hugs*
    icecubeinthedesert
  • @kbamomma33 @dpjennifer Thanks for sharing with me. It's reassuring to know what's new with me is not new to others, if that makes sense. 
    kbamomma33dpjennifer
  • **I'll just TW this whole post.
    @icecubeinthedesert I'm sorry if it bothered you for what I said. I did include a TW and unfortunately if a test doesn't have a control line in 3-5 minutes, it is usually considered defective. I have struggled with getting pregnant for months at a time and I definitely was not trying to intentionally or unintentionally hurt anyone. It definitely feels very lonely right now since I don't have anyone IRL who understands how it feels AL. I thought this was a safe place to discuss those feelings ((like the mindfuck of a defective test when I'm so unsure of how I would feel either way.)) I'm sorry for posting. I'll just figure this out on my own.
    Good luck to all of you ladies. I'm sorry for upsetting anyone. 
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