This thread is a safe place for members to discuss their mental health, struggles, and successes while on the TTGP Board. This post can be replied to at any time during the month. Not limited to those with a diagnosis, but please be sensitive to others. We will attempt to be as flame free as possible!
Feel free to share, vent, or support other members on this thread. Share a picture/gif that expresses how you feel or provides some comfort. If you need help getting started, try filling out the form below:
Diagnosis (if you have been) or What brings you to this thread today?:
Status (WTO/TWW/Benched):
How are you feeling?
GTKY: What "coping skill" has been most effective for you?
TTC#1 10/2016 TTC/IF:included medicated cycles, IUIs and 2 rounds of IVF with 1 embryo each. BFP finally in 12/2018
TTC#2 06/2021 planning FET
"Some days are diamonds, some days are rocks, some doors are open, some roads are blocked"
Diagnosis (if you have been) or What brings you to this tread today?:. Depression, anxiety, OCD and PTSD
Status (WTO/TWW/Benched): WTO
How are you feeling? I have ups and downs. I decided I am going to start seeing a therapist. My brother committed suicide before Christmas, and I am just not dealing with it well. I also saw the doctor today for binge eating disorder. I have had it for years, it never really affected my weight, I guess I had a great metabolism.... But now I an stress eating constantly and need to stop!
GTKY: What "coping skill" has been most effective for you? I listen to certain songs and they help.
@holly321 I think it is great that you're going to start seeing a therapist. Sometimes you just have to take the time for yourself. I hope you find a therapist that you like and that can provide you with some relief.
TTC#1 10/2016 TTC/IF:included medicated cycles, IUIs and 2 rounds of IVF with 1 embryo each. BFP finally in 12/2018
TTC#2 06/2021 planning FET
"Some days are diamonds, some days are rocks, some doors are open, some roads are blocked"
@holly321 That's a lot of heavy stuff you've had going on so I'm glad you are pursuing therapy. Just being able to talk to someone will hopefully be helpful in your TTC.
Diagnosis (if you have been) or What brings you to this thread today?: DOR
Status (WTO/TWW/Benched): natural cycles while starting the DE IVF process
How are you feeling? As far as I can tell I am doing okay but I'm so distracted. All I think about is what is next and what can I be doing - which really is nothing right now except taking care of myself. I am obsessed with researching donor eggs and agencies. I have a bunch of spreadsheets with all the research I've been doing.
GTKY: What "coping skill" has been most effective for you? I am meeting with a therapist next week at a fertility wellness center and I've been exercising a ton lately.
History and blog link in spoiler
2016 - dx with super low ovarian reserve; failed cycle with clomid, failed IUI, 2017 - egg retrieval #1 - 3 eggs, 0 embryos appropriate for transfer; ER #2 2 eggs, 0 embryos on day 3; ER #3 1 egg 0 embryos moved to donor egg in summer 2017; 35 eggs retrieved; 19 fertilized; 9 total embryos Fresh transfer Dec 2017= BFP! baby boy born 8/22/18
May 2019 - surprise natural pregnancy ended in MC Nov 2019 FET; MC at 9 weeks May 2020 FET; BFN July 2020 FET; CP treated with methotrexate Oct 2020 BFP!
How are you feeling? This week was better than last week. I'm feeling really frustrated with DH because of his issues, but we have talked it out and have a plan. But none if that matters if I don't O. I've been reading a ton about how a disrupted circadian rhythm affects hormone levels. It's very discouraging. I'm actively looking for daylight hours, but nothing promising has opened up.
GTKY: What "coping skill" has been most effective for you? Alone time where I can unwind and ignore my obligations for a bit.
Me: 29 | DH: 29
Married 12/2016 DSS born 01/2016 TTC since 01/2017 Letrozole + TI = BFP 01/30/2018 | EDD 10/11/2018
@holly321 I am so sorry to read about your loss. Good for you for seeking help. I love finding a good therapist to talk to! Hope it helps
Diagnosis (if you have been) or What brings you to this thread today?: depression and anxiety
Status (WTO/TWW/Benched): WTO
How are you feeling? Today I feel pretty good. I go up and down. New social situations and stress at home increase my anxiety. Stress has been lower than normal, and I have all the feel good hormones coming on... so I'm okay. AF definitely increases my depression. Obviously..
GTKY: What "coping skill" has been most effective for you? I don't take medicine currently, I try to cope with exercise ((best stress release for me!!))and diet. Yoga and meditation help me as well (but I'm not always great at finding time). I recently tried acupuncture and hypnotherapy but again, don't make the time to be consistent.
@holly321 - I am so sorry for your loss. It's so hard to move on from events like that. I hope you find peace and that your new therapist can help get you there. @laurad75 - I hope that the fertility therapist can help ease your anxiety about DE. I feel like that's a huge decision for you and YH that not many people have to make. @hollieileen - I'm glad that you're in a good place mentally right now. TTC can really take a toll on our emotional well-being.
Me: 29 | DH: 29
Married 12/2016 DSS born 01/2016 TTC since 01/2017 Letrozole + TI = BFP 01/30/2018 | EDD 10/11/2018
@holly321 Sorry about the stress eating. It
sucks how stress makes all of these mental health issues so much worse and
harder to deal with. I started seeing a therapist months ago and it was one of
the best decisions I ever made!
@laurad75 Good luck with the DE process. I hope
you can get a lot of good information and help along the way to alleviate some
of the stress.
@hollieileen Glad you’re feeling less stress
right now! And yes, AF is a killer for
depression symptoms. It wipes me out every cycle.
Diagnosis (if you have been) or What brings you
to this thread today?: Depression, Anxiety, and PTSD from RPL.
Status (WTO/TWW/Benched): Benched.
How are you feeling? I'm actually feeling pretty good right now. *TW* I held a 9 month old baby for the first time in a few years over the weekend. It was a good friend's baby and instead of feeling the anger and bitterness and hatred towards parents that I often find myself feeling, I was actually in a very good place and enjoyed the experience. This is a big new for me... and not sure where it will lead me. Guess I'm trying to look more positively towards the future and trying to be less bitter and hateful as we recognize we may end up being childless not by choice. *End TW*
GTKY: What "coping skill" has been most effective
for you? I am in therapy and I take some low dose happy pills! I try to exercise and eat better to have endorphins/hormones help me out a bit too (although this becomes very difficult when I wind up in F it all depression). I also try to do some relaxing things such as baking, sewing, reading, gardening, etc. to allow me to relax and focus on the good in life.
MC #1: D&C Oct 23, 2015 (7.5 weeks) MC #2: July 1, 2016 (5.5 weeks) MC #3: October 17, 2016 (CP) RE #1: RPL testing November 2016-January 2017 MC #4: Feb. 28, 2017 (CP) RE #2: Additional RPL testing March-November 2017 MC #5: January 2019 (6.5 weeks)
RE #3: More testing 2023. Egg Retrieval Sept/Oct 2023, 2 good embryos after PGT-A testing. Surgery for endometriosis January 2024 Lupron Depo March 2024. Benched 3 months. Hopefully FET after that.
Re: June Mental Health Check-In
Status (WTO/TWW/Benched): WTO
How are you feeling? I have ups and downs. I decided I am going to start seeing a therapist. My brother committed suicide before Christmas, and I am just not dealing with it well. I also saw the doctor today for binge eating disorder. I have had it for years, it never really affected my weight, I guess I had a great metabolism.... But now I an stress eating constantly and need to stop!
GTKY: What "coping skill" has been most effective for you? I listen to certain songs and they help.
TTC#1 10/2016
TTC/IF:included medicated cycles, IUIs and 2 rounds of IVF with 1 embryo each.
BFP finally in 12/2018
TTC#2 06/2021
planning FET
"Some days are diamonds, some days are rocks,
some doors are open, some roads are blocked"
Diagnosis (if you have been) or What brings you to this thread today?: DOR
Status (WTO/TWW/Benched): natural cycles while starting the DE IVF process
How are you feeling? As far as I can tell I am doing okay but I'm so distracted. All I think about is what is next and what can I be doing - which really is nothing right now except taking care of myself. I am obsessed with researching donor eggs and agencies. I have a bunch of spreadsheets with all the research I've been doing.
GTKY: What "coping skill" has been most effective for you? I am meeting with a therapist next week at a fertility wellness center and I've been exercising a ton lately.
2017 - egg retrieval #1 - 3 eggs, 0 embryos appropriate for transfer; ER #2 2 eggs, 0 embryos on day 3; ER #3 1 egg 0 embryos
moved to donor egg in summer 2017; 35 eggs retrieved; 19 fertilized; 9 total embryos
Fresh transfer Dec 2017= BFP! baby boy born 8/22/18
May 2019 - surprise natural pregnancy ended in MC
Nov 2019 FET; MC at 9 weeks
May 2020 FET; BFN
July 2020 FET; CP treated with methotrexate
Oct 2020 BFP!
Take a look at my blog
Status (WTO/TWW/Benched): WTO
How are you feeling? This week was better than last week. I'm feeling really frustrated with DH because of his issues, but we have talked it out and have a plan. But none if that matters if I don't O. I've been reading a ton about how a disrupted circadian rhythm affects hormone levels. It's very discouraging. I'm actively looking for daylight hours, but nothing promising has opened up.
GTKY: What "coping skill" has been most effective for you? Alone time where I can unwind and ignore my obligations for a bit.
DSS born 01/2016
TTC since 01/2017
Letrozole + TI = BFP 01/30/2018 | EDD 10/11/2018
@holly321 I am so sorry to read about your loss. Good for you for seeking help. I love finding a good therapist to talk to! Hope it helps
Diagnosis (if you have been) or What brings you to this thread today?: depression and anxiety
Status (WTO/TWW/Benched): WTO
How are you feeling? Today I feel pretty good. I go up and down. New social situations and stress at home increase my anxiety. Stress has been lower than normal, and I have all the feel good hormones coming on... so I'm okay. AF definitely increases my depression. Obviously..
GTKY: What "coping skill" has been most effective for you? I don't take medicine currently, I try to cope with exercise ((best stress release for me!!))and diet. Yoga and meditation help me as well (but I'm not always great at finding time). I recently tried acupuncture and hypnotherapy but again, don't make the time to be consistent.
@laurad75 - I hope that the fertility therapist can help ease your anxiety about DE. I feel like that's a huge decision for you and YH that not many people have to make.
@hollieileen - I'm glad that you're in a good place mentally right now. TTC can really take a toll on our emotional well-being.
DSS born 01/2016
TTC since 01/2017
Letrozole + TI = BFP 01/30/2018 | EDD 10/11/2018
@holly321 Sorry about the stress eating. It sucks how stress makes all of these mental health issues so much worse and harder to deal with. I started seeing a therapist months ago and it was one of the best decisions I ever made!
@laurad75 Good luck with the DE process. I hope you can get a lot of good information and help along the way to alleviate some of the stress.
@hollieileen Glad you’re feeling less stress right now! And yes, AF is a killer for depression symptoms. It wipes me out every cycle.
Diagnosis (if you have been) or What brings you to this thread today?: Depression, Anxiety, and PTSD from RPL.
Status (WTO/TWW/Benched): Benched.
How are you feeling? I'm actually feeling pretty good right now. *TW* I held a 9 month old baby for the first time in a few years over the weekend. It was a good friend's baby and instead of feeling the anger and bitterness and hatred towards parents that I often find myself feeling, I was actually in a very good place and enjoyed the experience. This is a big new for me... and not sure where it will lead me. Guess I'm trying to look more positively towards the future and trying to be less bitter and hateful as we recognize we may end up being childless not by choice. *End TW*
GTKY: What "coping skill" has been most effective for you? I am in therapy and I take some low dose happy pills! I try to exercise and eat better to have endorphins/hormones help me out a bit too (although this becomes very difficult when I wind up in F it all depression). I also try to do some relaxing things such as baking, sewing, reading, gardening, etc. to allow me to relax and focus on the good in life.
MC #1: D&C Oct 23, 2015 (7.5 weeks)
MC #2: July 1, 2016 (5.5 weeks)
MC #3: October 17, 2016 (CP)
RE #1: RPL testing November 2016-January 2017
MC #4: Feb. 28, 2017 (CP)
RE #2: Additional RPL testing March-November 2017
MC #5: January 2019 (6.5 weeks)
RE #3: More testing 2023.
Egg Retrieval Sept/Oct 2023, 2 good embryos after PGT-A testing.
Surgery for endometriosis January 2024
Lupron Depo March 2024. Benched 3 months. Hopefully FET after that.
#BitterHagPartyOf1