UO 6/8

Nxy

Have an opinion that is potentially unpopular? Post it here so everyone can judge you.

bumpybump

I think it's crap when parents take a day off work and leave their kids at daycare but go to a baseball game or take a day trip somewhere. Or, take just a couple of their kids and leave the others at daycare. 
Triggered by a friend's Facebook post yesterday where they "played hooky" and took half their kids from daycare to a baseball game. 

SouthernMama15

@bumpybump I agree. I was just talking to some of the moms from my last BMB and there are so many that do that or go on extravagant trips without their kids, but don't do family vacations. A weekend trip or a special anniversary is one thing, but going halfway around the world is quite another. 

and_peggy

@bumpybump I have a friend who will drop her baby off with her parents for a week or 2 just so she can have a break....but she's a SAHM. I get needing date nights sans children, and even just alone time without your partner, but if you're a parent, there's no such thing as "time off". 

and_peggy

I hate blogs. I don't want to hear why your life is so much better than mine. Nobody actually believes you actually eat all that stuff, or you really look like that when you just wake up, or that your house is that pristine. They usually just feel very fake to me. Maybe they're being completely honest and transparent and I'm just really that much more of a hot mess.

smallbutmighty77

I am all for a weekend here or there where grandparents take the kids or something, my parents have already told me they would be mad if they didn't get 'grandparent sleepovers.'
I also get sending your kids to daycare when you are home sick-b/c no one needs that, and honestly, I am fine if you want a 'day off' to do something together w/o the kids-parent relationships matter too.

As for doing something where you take some kids but not all, my sister and I were 4yrs apart. We did not have the same interests as kids. So, every so often I got a hooky day with mom and we would do something just us and then my sister would get her day. It was nice to not always have to share attention and compromise on the activity. But if it is an activity everyone would like, etc...then I don't get it. I would have been upset if they all went to a Cubs game and left me home.

DeansGirl14

It's really weird you would take some of your kids and not others to something. (Unless the age difference is so significant, the activity wouldn't appeal? And would you do something special later with the kids you left behind?)
I'm not officially a parent yet so can't speak from experience, but I disagree about it being crap to leave your kids and do something special for yourselves. My best friend is a SAHM with two small kids (4 and 3) and she's really struggling. She was venting because her parents told her she can "choose" to "enjoy" the role more, but what she really needs is a part-time job or a break in general because the kids just get on her nerves with the bickering and the fighting and the whining. They don't go on vacations at all; her only regular adult outlet is her running club. Everyone's different and if someone needs adult time, they need adult time. 

SouthernMama15

I hate phrases like, "it is what it is" and "you do you". The first is rather obvious and the second is rude and sends the message of, "That's the dumbest idea I've ever heard, but I'm going to pat you nicely on the head and make you feel like it's Ok. Also, I'm better than you"

jadkins2

Hey I dropped both my girls off this morning at daycare because I am sick. I normally work a full 40 hrs a week, but this week I am trying my best not to get them sick too. I understand the notion that your kids are your kids, but it's nice sometimes to take a personal day for your self and go get your nails done without distraction. No shame here. It keeps me grounded and I think that is better for my girls. It keeps me happy  and they keep their routine that they love. it's not all the time just every now and then. My husband also works out if town during the week and sometimes it's just plain hard all by yourself 24/7. I do however make sure to pick them up earlier that day and I never ever let them stay longer than they normally would. Dang I didn't realize people actually had an opinion about this. The owners of the daycare encourage us to take time for ourselves too? I will not however go out of town without my kids unless it's for our anniversary. The grandparents love getting the girls for one night on the weekends once a month. We love it too! 

jadkins2

Oh and I plan on sending them to daycare while I am on maternity leave three days a week so they can keep their routines and I can bond with the new baby like I was able to do with both of them. My oldest has a hard time with change and I think if I allowed her to stay home with me for 12 weeks that would upset her more than it would help her. Trying to make the transition of having three kids under 4 as smooth as possible. 

HappyToBeHere

Haha - @SouthernMama15; I'm not typically into cliche phrases either, but "it is what it is" is one I actually love. I even have a mug that says it. I run a medium-sized business, and some days/weeks get so insane that it literally takes me sitting back, taking a deep breath, and telling myself "it is what it is" to keep pushing through. 

Also, CurlyGirl gives me lots of good reminders (I always have a CurlyGirl calendar up), and this was 100% appropriate for May 2017:

SouthernMama15

@HappyToBeHere I don't know why it makes me crazy, I guess if you say it to yourself it's one thing, but I hate when people say it to me. It feels like they are trivializing something I'm upset or worried about. I used to work with this woman who said oh well about everything. Like the day I found out I needed a c section she said, oh well. She was socially awkward but I wanted to punch her. 

bumpybump

I totally get needing a break. Heck, we all do but there are definitely "lines" in my opinion. I never said parents don't need breaks. 

imwithbaby

@bumpybump hmmm I disagree. My marriage will be #1 even when baby arrives (everyone can save their "you just waits"---it can be done and I've seen it modeled well), and that'll mean ditching her to have some QT with the husband. A deep, well-fed marriage is the best gift we can give her, so we are really protective of that. Only taking half the kids, though, is strange, unless you're doing something to foster one-on-one time with the kiddos who miss out. 

I did, however, babysit for a SAHM who was on the extreme end of this. Her husband had a super important job, so they had a lot of money so I guess I can't complain since I was reaping the benefits, but I'd babysit for her for the following reasons:
• so she could get her nails done (okay...maybe I don't want toxic fumes around baby so maybe I'll let that slide)
• so she could go pick out new cabinets for their home
• so she could pack for a trip---so we are both at her home, she just *can't* handle baby and pack at the same time (even though he slept through it all)

...and many more. It was a little much for me. 

lewliv

I'll certainly be the parent that will drop off the kid at daycare and take the day off to do something with DH. Making sure that our relationship gets "me time" often is a priority for me.
I don't plan on having more than one child but if I was to have two or more kids I also believe that each kid deserves individual time once in a while. 

SouthernMama15

I agree 100% about needing a break, I'm a sahm and some days I need a break. Going to the grocery store alone feels like a vacation sometimes. DS spends a good bit of time with his grandparents, especially as we prepare for baby number 2. I think what @bumpybump was getting at is that it is important to spend time together as a family is important, too. Sure, you see your husband at home, but you like having date night. Same goes for your kids, quality time is important and your role as a parent goes beyond being a caregiver or provider. 

HappyToBeHere

SouthernMama15 said:

@HappyToBeHere I don't know why it makes me crazy, I guess if you say it to yourself it's one thing, but I hate when people say it to me. It feels like they are trivializing something I'm upset or worried about. I used to work with this woman who said oh well about everything. Like the day I found out I needed a c section she said, oh well. She was socially awkward but I wanted to punch her. 

I completely see where you're coming from; I think if I said it out loud to someone else, it would certainly be construed as brushing off their concerns!

PinkPrincessPiper

@SouthernMama15 You basically just wrote my post for me! 

DH & I drop the older boys off with my parents every Saturday afternoon so we can do lunch and the grocery with just us & DD (and we only take DD because my parents are elderly, and not crazy about chasing a toddler). The grocery is such a pain with all the kids! 

tova24

My unpopular opinion is non -kid related. I hate thong underwear. Like I get that panty lines suck, but I really don't like the feeling of having dental floss wedged between my crack. Also, they don't make my butt look cute. I prefer seamless bottoms or something that's lacy and cute. 

littlebug2010

@tova24 I 100% agree!  I have a few "sexy time" pairs, but even with that, I take the off so fast!  I cant fathom wearing a thong all day long! 

imwithbaby

@tova24 I haven't worn a thong in years. DH is a butt guy, so tough for him. #sorrynotsorry

tova24

@mrsmatt1212 @littlebug2010 underwear right now is comical to me! Putting them on is starting to become a challenge. I literally have to sit down on the bed and slide them on. I no longer wear cute ones because I can't see them under my belly

DeansGirl14

Being pregnant, I actually wonder if properly fitting thongs would be more comfortable than my normal underwear. I haven't upgraded my sizes and every day I have panty lines embedded in my butt and thighs. The less constriction, the better. Most thongs I find terribly uncomfortable but have had, over time, a pair here or there that felt undetectable. That might be good right now...

littlebug2010

I havent changed the underwear that I had, but there are pairs that I dont wear.  I am also an underwear hoarder, so I have enough to last a couple months without washing (FFFC??).  I do have to start thinking about PP undies though, becuase all of mine are cute prints, and I would hate to ruin them.  

@tova24 I dont have to do that with my undies but my pants I do.  Its more becuase I have had some bad sciatic pain on my right and the movement to put pants on tends to aggravate it. 

SouthernMama15

When I got that yeast infection a few weeks ago I wore maxi skirts and dresses for a week with no underwear and it was gloriously comfortable. 

tova24

@littlebug2010 I literally have to sit down to put on undies, pants (pj pants. I just wear dresses to work now), and shoes. I am not flexible! 

imwithbaby

@SouthernMama15 I absolutely cannot go without underwear. That seems so uncomfortable and...moist.

SouthernMama15

@mrsmatt1212 I definitely wouldn't be able to do it with pants, but in skirts, it was great. So far with both pregnancies I'm not one of those people that get lots of discharge (knock on wood) I would die if I had to wear panty liners daily.

lewliv

I used to hate thongs but now it's all I wear. I guess I got used to it. 

imwithbaby

@SouthernMama15 yep that's my life, all day every day, so that wouldn't work lol! #pantylinersforlyfe

Nxy

I put DD in daycare for a week last July because I needed the me time. DH was gone and I just needed a break from her, I wasn't feeling sane. That's different than I put DD in daycare and went to the zoo and did all these fun things without her. 
I think putting your marriage first is a great idea. However, my child is absolutely above all my top priority. My marriage has taken a passenger seat to raising DD. DH and I make time for each other but we both know her needs come before ours. As she gets more independent we've been able to focus on us more but for the first year or so I was mom. That was it. I wasn't even me. I don't mean to sound "just you wait-y" but this was one thing no one really warned me about. 

I can't even sleep without underwear on 

kvh22

I definitely don't like the idea of leaving only one kid behind when the whole family goes out to do something - unless they're too young to go (my family went to Disney World without my little sister when she was too young). If there's 3 tickets to a baseball game for a family of 4, one parent takes two kids unless you can do the same thing for the other kid (outing without the other sibling). I agree with everyone else about taking time as a couple and spending one on one time with each kid, but I don't think that was the sentiment of the UO.

And completely agree on how uncomfortable thongs are. I hate them!

My UO: I hate binge watching TV shows (with a few exceptions). It's not so much the content, but that I feel like I get nothing else done and I still need to read or something to unwind before bed. If DH were open to watching one episode of something a night, I'd be more agreeable to starting a new show, but he is like a dog with a bone wanting to watch as many as possible as quickly as possible.

PinkPrincessPiper

@kvh22 You mean you're not going to binge-watch OITNB tomorrow/this weekend?!?! 

kvh22

@PinkPrincessPiper hahaha nope. DH watched House of Cards last night while I napped

knottie0d8cc4d43bacc09f

@PinkPrincessPiper I can't wait for OITNB. I was disappointed in last season, though.. I'm considering saving this season to watch while I'm on mat leave or during MOTN nursing sessions. Not sure if I can wait that long though!

SpotConlon

Re: thongs--life is too short for uncomfortable underwear. Hipsters and boyshorts for life.

PinkPrincessPiper

secicc12 said:

@PinkPrincessPiper I can't wait for OITNB. I was disappointed in last season, though.. I'm considering saving this season to watch while I'm on mat leave or during MOTN nursing sessions. Not sure if I can wait that long though!

*stuck in box*

There's no way I could wait. Hubby is off this weekend & it will be devoured before Monday! 

caity024

@littlebug2010 ditto on the underwear hoarding! I can't pass up a cute pair. My UO is I only have like 4 pair of shoes, though, so I just consider it trading one vice for another. 

knottiee689565f63838b35

lewliv said:

I used to hate thongs but now it's all I wear. I guess I got used to it. 

Same. If I wear anything else it feels awkward. 

littlebug2010

@caity024 I have way too many pairs of shoes too!  Of course I can only wear my flip flops right now, so I have like 5 that I can wear.  I feet better go back to normal size when this is over.  I have too many nice pairs to replace them all! 

AbbeyH

Re: playing hooky.

I'm off work on Monday and my son will be going to daycare. I plan on getting laundry done, closets cleaned out, and some watercolor orders knocked out. It's our anniversary too so the hubs may take off too or we will at least do a lunch date.