UO 5/25

and_peggy

@brookedeyo nobody is saying you have to talk while you're out to eat. I personally just think it's a waste of time and money to go out to eat if you don't even look up from your phone the whole time. And beyond that, MY OPINION is that it teaches bad habits. I do not want my children to grow up and think it's okay to ignore other people who are in front of you. I'd like them to be well-rounded children that become well-rounded adults, who know how to have a conversation with people beyond a screen. And again, MY OPINION is that kids learn what they see. So if they see mommy and daddy not engaging in a face to face conversation, and choosing to be on their devices, they will learn that.

Also, DH and I don't actively engage in conversation the whole time. We often sit and just enjoy being together but that means we put away our phones and BE together. Just because they're in your presence doesn't make them present.

bumpybump

Re: "fun" shopping carts. 
@Nxy @taylormarie923 @lewliv (I know there were others but I can't recall after reading 30 responses). Double carts were a "hot" topic in my last BMB at one time. I fully agree that if there are only a few "normal" carts but with a double seat, those should be for families with multiple kids. But the "fun" ones, no stinking way!

Totally agree with @aehogan90 on the dining out. Even more so once kids are present. @brookedeyo I can't remember if you have kids yet but just wait if not and read up on what benefit interacting with your kids at meals can (positively) do for them and what screen time can negatively do for them (also from always seeing a parent on them).

bumpybump

@taylormarie923 I've heard of moms puncturing holes in the pacifier so they "break" and then no longer have the sucking satisfaction. I was a thumb sucking kid forever. My mom got this nasty tasting "nail polish" that she'd put on my nails. It was so gross I had no desire to suck it anymore. My sister just did that with her two daughters as well and it stopped them too. (If you didn't really want to hear any of these ideas, sorry)

DeansGirl14

@taylormarie923 one thing my parents tried with me (that failed, but maybe it'll work for you) was getting this kind of bitter... stuff... that you cover a child's finger/thumb with. From my little kid memory it seemed like they were putting nail polish on my entire finger. I swear it wasn't nail polish but it was something that has the same kind of applicator. The theory was the finger/thumb would taste so gross to the child that they won't put it in their mouth and the habit will get broken. Ask your pediatrician if they know of any kind of anti-sucking product like that, if you're so inclined! 
My parents actually had to go so far as to get a metal bridge type thing installed in the roof of my mouth that prevented me from being able to close my mouth around my finger. 

kvh22

@DeansGirl14 & @taylormarie923 - I kid you not...I came out sucking my two middle fingers and continued to do so until the age of 10. I probably should've been embarrassed but I didn't do it in public past what was moderately appropriate. I needed braces but would've had to have them anyways. There is nail polish (clear) that makes it taste bad. I think that's what we eventually did for me and I think about using it on DH to make him stop biting his nails since it drives me crazy.

SouthernMama15

I was a thumb sucker. My mom told me our puppy came in the house while I was napping and peed on my hand so I couldn't put it in my mouth anymore. I stopped.  

SpotConlon

Chewing on stuff is self-comfort or self-regulation for a lot of kids, especially if they have sensory processing issues (like kids on the spectrum). Most kids grow out of it, but some end up being redirected to chewlery or something other than their fingers.

taylormarie923

@kvh22 this was him an hour after birth. 



I have threatened the bitter stuff and he cries and says he says he will stop and I melt into a puddle on the floor.  I remember painting some on my nails as a kid and having the taste transfer onto my food. I hated it and didn't even need it for anything, my friend was try to stop biting her nails and it was a solidarity thing. He only does it when tired to self sooth and if I stay on him about it, he is mostly good at self correcting, but he does get really angry. Also working on a slight speech thing too, so I feel like I'm constantly harping on him for one thing or another. 

taylormarie923

On the phone in restaurant thing, I totally agree with not using it as a crutch, but I won't judge people I see in restaurants. You don't know if that's the norm or a one time thing for them.  Like I said, I've resorted to my phone before and I'm sure those people judged me, but it's not something we do every meal and we just really needed the break in that one moment. Now that he's older, he understands sitting quietly in restaurants and is actively involved with eating, plus when he does start crying it's a lot easier to snap him out of it and redirect. 

Nxy

I was lurking elsewhere and I found a UO; I don't think giving your newborn a bath after birth really matters at all in the grand scheme of things. DD was covered in meconium, she got a bath (and IV antibiotics). I don't think it damaged her in anyway.. 

SouthernMama15

@Nxy yeah apparently delayed bathing is a thing now. I don't get it. My sister had my nephew around 2:30 PM. The hospital waited until nearly midnight when they were sleeping to give him a bath. She was pissed

Nxy

@SouthernMama15 There is a huge discussion on it on my base moms page and I guess it's a HUGE deal.. 

homemakermama

@taylormarie923 my DD2 is 3 1/2 and she is the same way. She gets very emotional when we ask her not to suck her thumb no matter how we say it. I have no idea how to break the habit. She never did take a paci when she was a baby, but it seemed like the minute she stopped nursing she used her thumb as a coping mechanism. It's how she calms down from getting hurt, and how she soothes herself to sleep. Her top teeth are turned inward slightly, and her dentist said that it isn't a problem until adult teeth start coming, but I thought it could cause problems before they loose their baby teeth? 

imwithbaby

@SouthernMama15 @Nxy is that referring to a sponge bath? I know they're not supposed to receive a full/submerged bath until the umbilical stump falls off, but I can't imagine not bathing my child for 6 weeks! No bath is definitely a thing in the natural birth community; they love to leave the vernix on. 

SouthernMama15

@Nxy I'm sorry, but that's gross.  

PinkPrincessPiper

We do the first (sponge) bath around 24 hrs in the hospital (I believe it's their policy). I can't imagine the neck cheese that baby must have had after 6 weeks... 

Nxy

mrsmatt1212 said:

@SouthernMama15 @Nxy is that referring to a sponge bath? I know they're not supposed to receive a full/submerged bath until the umbilical stump falls off, but I can't imagine not bathing my child for 6 weeks! No bath is definitely a thing in the natural birth community; they love to leave the vernix on. 

That lady is specifically talking about any bath at all. She goes on to say that even now her kid (he's 2.5) only gets a bath about once a month.

@SouthernMama15 oh no, don't be sorry. It's super gross. 

SouthernMama15

I'm about to throw up. They took DS to the nursery and washed him immediately. We did sponge baths every other day til his cord fell off, now he gets bath 2-3 times a week depending on what we've done or where we've been.

lewliv

@Nxy my baby will get a towel rub but no bath after birth. I'll just follow the World Health Organization recommendation of waiting 24hrs. But... bathing a toddler once a month is the most disgusting thing I ever heard 

ed. Myself, I intend to shower soon after skin-to-skin

Nxy

@lewliv that doesn't seem as icky. I'd have done that with DD if it hadn't been for all the poop.. 
DD only gets her hair washed once a week but bath every other day usually. Once. A. Month. 

jadkins2

I cannot even imagine no bath for a month. Especially how messy they are when they eat. I like taking a bath everyday and so that's what I do with my kids. Unless if course something is going on and it's not practical. I don't like getting into my sheets without having a bath. To each their own, but totally grossed out by not wanting to bathe after birth. It's such a dirty thing already and I love my first shower after that. I looked forward to it both times!

taylormarie923

@homemakermama it can alter their bone structure on the roof of their mouth and cause issues. I had my dad look at his bite the last time we went up there and had our teeth cleaned.  He said 3 months to quit at first, but then said by his 4th birthday after seeing the look on my face. 

taylormarie923

The newborn hospital I volunteered at did a trial run of delayed bathing. They went back to bathing upon admission. One of the codes on the door was for unbathed babies and we had to wear gloves to handle them and make sure they were swaddled and not touching our scrubs when we carried them. 

caity024

@Nxy that's so disgusting. I'm down for a basic rubdown so I can try and get LO breastfeeding right away, but after an hour, by all means, scrub my lil dude down a bit. I heard the vernix kinda stinks after awhile....I can't even imagine what a it would smell like after 6 weeks. 

kvh22

@taylormarie923 - first of all, that picture of your son is too cute! I feel like they must make better quality polish than what we had 2-3 decades ago of that stuff but it sounds like he's on his way to stopping anyways.

On the phone at dinner topic, I'm a really strong believer in focusing on the person whose in front of you, but if DH and I have been out for the whole day and finally sit down to eat, we definitely will take 5 minutes to catch up on what's on our phones. Neither of us are social media junkies but DH definitely loves the news and his fantasy sports. I'll usually check my personal and work emails (probably a bad habit I should stop). FTM so not sure how I'll be with screen time at meals.

MetsGirl18

@DeansGirl14 I had a metal habit breaker too in 2nd or 3rd grade because I still sucked my thumb at night.  It worked really quickly, but I obviously should've broken that habit much earlier.  I'd much rather have a kid who uses a pacifier than a thumb because it's easier to break.  Both of my boys loved their pacifiers and I was worried it would be difficult for them to give up.  We eventually limited it to sleeping and long car rides and they both gave it up completely before 3.  I'm sure that's still considered a long time to many, but it comforted them and didn't cause any issues according to the dentist.

MetsGirl18

@kvh22 I always tell the u/s tech and the doctor at the beginning of each appointment that I don't know the sex and don't want to know.  After the anatomy scan, my practice also does a growth sono around 34 weeks.  With DS1, I also had a few extra sonos at the end to monitor fluid levels, etc. With DS2, I had sonos at MFM every 4 weeks starting at 16 weeks to monitor the growth and then sonos at my OB either weekly or every other week starting at 32 weeks following NSTs.  I was always a little worried that someone would slip, but we have had delivery room surprises each time.

My OB's office used to switch to 3D at the end of certain sonos so we could get some pictures.  I had my anatomy scan with MFM again this time so I haven't had any 3D pictures.  I wouldn't get an elective u/s so if I don't have any 3D pictures this time, that's fine.

bumpybump

@MetsGirl18 we were team green last time and this time. When I went to the hospital to be induced, the nurses asked what we were having. I told them we didn't know and asked if it was stated in my chart. They said it's not stated anywhere for them. So, I'm a lot less "nervous" someone will slip except the U/S tech when doing the scans. Not sure if that's a standard practice though. 

AdvoCyndi30

6 weeks?!? Gross.

Both my DS and DD were bathed within a few hours of being born. Hair washed and everything. 

And once a month for a toddler/preschooler? They have to smell bad. I hope the mom is at least doing some kind of perineal washing...because, yuck.