Daycares?

em_el

Hey Everyone!

I just had my first consultation visit with my doctor. She gave me a packet with a timeline of things to do. In the packet, it says to start looking into daycares. That seems so early for me because I haven't even had an ultrasound yet. 


Is anyone else else looking yet? I don't want the daycares to think I'm crazy for looking already (ha!), so I wanted to feel out what others are doing. 

thedawkterswife

When I was pregnant with my first, I starting touring daycares by 10w. Even then, I was on waiting lists a mile long for the good ones. I ended up staying home but I forgot to take my name off the lists. I got a call right around when my daughter was 15 months old asking if we still needed a spot and my name was next. Wtf 

It's never too early, imo.

supercoolstephy

When I was looking for DS I waited until about 3 months before I needed to go back and all of the decent places had lists that were about 8 months out. So we ended with a crummy place. Thankfully we moved about 3 months into the crummy place and I was able to find a great place. 

KLake42

There are daycares around here that feed into a charter school, and everyone's nuts about the charter school. So it's definitely time to get on those lists, if we want to go that route.

But I don't know. I remember being a kid, and feeling passionately that "school uniform" culture is stifling. How do you get past that, if it's otherwise a "great" school?

KatieEl

It really depends on your geographic region, big cities especially you need to get on a list pretty much the second you turn a stick. Even if your area is less competitive, it doesn't hurt to knock it out early in my opinion. 

Shanski70

I agree with what @KatieEl said, it really depends on where you live.  We secured our sitter (in home, not a center) about 2 months before I was due.  We ended up having to pay her for a few weeks that we did not use her as a concession for her holding the spot for us (so that she did not lose income in the few weeks between when the kiddo who left actually left and before we took in DD to her).  I've already told her that I'm expecting #2 because I know she's got a few kids this fall that will be moving on to school and I did not want her to fill all her spots up

I will add a caveat.  Do your research and trust your gut.  If something does not sit well with you, even if you cannot articulate what you did not like, move on.  I'll spare you the details, but one of my coworkers ignored her instincts and her son was badly hurt.  They're now in a massive lawsuit with the place.  Fortunately, he will be ok and suffer no long term issues (thank God), but it still reinforced to me that our instincts usually pick up on things that may be amiss.

scatteringashes

I'm gonna start checking daycares once we clear the first trimester, I think. I have a spreadsheet of ideal ones, and I'm willing to bet the one that fits into our budget and doesn't have HUGE entrance fees probably has a waitlist. 

That said, our daycare plans are very... hypothetical? I'm graduating right before this magikarp is due, so I'll be leaving my part-time job and the plan has been to save three months worth of my current income, and to spend that time recuperating and looking for a full-time job in my field. Assuming I find a job that pays at the low end of the field I'm looking at, we can afford daycare and be bringing home slightly more than we make together now. Assuming I don't, I'm gonna have to find a less-than-ideal job working evenings opposite my husband's schedule. 

Daycare has always been the wobbly part of the baby plan, lol.

hwoodmama

Im not looking because Im a SAHM, but there is a 6-12 month wait at daycares around here. Its even longer for in home care since the child: adult ratio is so low that its hard for in homes to be profitable with more than one or two newborns. 

em_el

Thanks, everyone! I live in a big city so I probably need to get started!

Do we have any teachers in this group? I'm worried about what will happen to my spot since I will need daycare for April and May, then will be home with the baby for the summer. Does anyone here have experience with that?

SouthernMs

Oh man, wait lists can be insane. One-three year waits in my midsized Southern city. Definitely start touring and applying asap. A lot of full time programs here are year-round; you have to pay for summer or else lose your spot. You'll need to determine this on a center-by-center basis. Good luck!

cyanope

Sheesh, ladies. All of this daycare talk makes me grateful for my situation. My SIL runs an at-home daycare, so LO goes there three days a week. Then, she's with my mom one day and my sister one day. Unfortunately, this may not continue after the birth of this one. My SIL is ALSO pregnant (three weeks ahead of me), just took on a four month old last week, and will be getting a newborn in June (luckily that baby will only be there one day a week). So...I don't see how she'll be able to handle all of these babies at once. Thankfully, my MIL will be helping her for a few months after the birth of her baby in December, so hopefully we'll be able to figure it all out! Otherwise, I may have to start looking elsewhere...

FutureWAHM

Yeah, in my area it's never too early to get your name in for a good daycare. You could be sitting on a waiting list for over a year for an infant spot.

hwoodmama

@cyanope, even if she can figure it out, she would likely be over state limits with 4 newborns and any other kids.   The laws revert to the youngest age group present and most states only allow 3-5 children per adult in the infant age group.  I woule definitely have a back up plan. 

hwoodmama

@michwich-2, youll have to pay for summer to hold your spot.   Some centers allow you to oay a reduced rate for summer just to hold the spot, but many dont. 

cyanope

Good point, @hwoodmama! I know MIL will help as long as she needs to, (she actually ran the daycare until she retired last year), so the ratio would be within the state law. It all hinges on how long she'll be helping, though. 

windywoman

I worked at a day care for 12 years. They fill up fast so I guess it really is never to early to start looking. As far not needing summer care - the center I worked at held your place for you and you did what was called a "temporary withdrawal". I am sure all places are different. You may need to keep one day a week to hold your spot. 

YorkieLove4

My mother has run her daycare for 32 years, which I have also worked at for a few years.  Usually with the start of a new school year opens up space as some littles enter into kindergarten and leave daycare spots open.  Of course we are in January, which doesn't help with that timeline, so the sooner the better, but really waiting until your first ultrasound should afford you plenty of time.  Best of luck. 

JuliaGoolia719

I have a friend who lives in Nashville that started looking when she was about 4mos pregnant (she was due Oct16) and the center they wanted didn't have an opening until July this year. They ended up getting a nanny from Jan17 (when my friend went back to work) until this summer when their LO will move to that center. 

We've talked about having a good friends sister watch our little one, she currently lives with my friend and watches her twins. They'll be around 2 when I go back to work so a little bit older and hopefully slightly more independent.  There's also a Kiddie Korner literally 5 min from our house that we'll go visit and probably put down a deposit on just in case. 

WildMagelet

I honestly hadn't even started really thinking about it yet.  I'll probably wait until we announce and then ask for recommendations from other moms I know in the area.

em_el

Do you put your name on just one waiting list or more than one to be safe? I want to make sure I cover all my bases!

tryingfor1st

I feel so terrible for all of you because Trudeau is about to pass a new law allowing for 18 months of mat leave. First 15 weeks are 55% of your salary (to a max) and the rest is 33%.
This is up from 12 months at 55%.
My mom also promised to help once I go back to work. DH is taking the last 6 months of the leave so he gets some quality time. I also make more $$$ so going back at 12m is better for us.

em_el

That sounds amazing! Can I move to Canada?!

WildMagelet

That's great @tryingfor1st !  

We'll all just move to Canada and start a Jan'18 commune j/k

KatieEl

@michwich-2 it depends on your area/finances, but when I was looking a few years ago (before we decided I'd stay home) you had to pay $100-300 non refundable to get on each list. I think it credited to the tuition, but obviously if you were going on multiple lists you'd lose money on at least some of them. If there's no cost to go on the wait lists by you though, I'd definitely put myself on more than one. 

mcrosie

I had myself on a waitlist an hour after the strip turned colors. Seriously. We have a major daycare shortage in the DC area and wow are they expensive!

The one I'm waitlisted on has a LONG wait (18 months) so I'm looking for backup options now.

mcrosie

@tryingfor1st  ahhh I love him so much! Total PMILF

SouthernMs

@michwich-2 We got on WAY too many wait lists with DS, with fees ranging from $25-$150. So much wasted money! Out of 7 centers, we were offered spots in 3. I wish I hadn't wasted so much money on fees, especially on centers I wasn't even that excited about. I was just feeling nervous and desperate at the time. It depends on your area and how firm your needed start date is, but I'd suggest selecting at least a few. This time around, I'm getting us on 3 wait lists (already on my top 2! waiting to tour the 3rd in the fall).

WildMagelet

@scatteringashes - The geek in me loves that you're calling it magikarp 

scatteringashes

@WildMagelet We figure a baby is about as useful as a magikarp, so it's been our running nickname. I always like running into other geeks. 

hminer4

I was starting to get nervous about this so I casually asked the director at my kids' daycare when someone would need to get on an infant room waitlist. She laughed and said as soon as you find out you're pregnant. She said one woman actually told her that she got on a waitlist before she told her parents that she was pregnant. So yeah we are already on the list.

egirl1025

You all are so diligent and on top of things.  I started to look for daycare approximately 4 weeks prior to my due date with my first and when he came 3 weeks early I hadn't put a deposit anywhere.  The one center that I did get to visit had an opening so I made my DH go the day after my son was born to put money down to hold a spot for when I needed to go back to work at 6 weeks.  Granted it wasn't like I had much choice, but it turned out to be super economical and they are so great with my son.  I definitely do not recommend my approach to finding daycare .

tryingfor1st

Okay so it's settled, everyone can move to Canada!!!

CANTW82BMOM

Question for any moms with 2 or more in daycare (or those of you who have researched it already). What kind of discount do you get for the second kid? DH thinks we will get 50% off. I think he's out of his mind. I don't wanna ask yet because I'm not telling them I'm expecting yet. 

Dani0329

It definitely depends on where you live. We were stationed in NJ when I had DD and could have gotten her in anywhere a month before my due date. Fast forward to us moving to GA and she has sat on one wait list for over a year and a half. We finally found a DC we loved and moved her to 11 months after she started DC down here. So, IMO it's never too early.

PhillymommaX2

@cantwait2bemom my kids aren't in daycare so I don't have any experience but I know my best friend didn't get any discount. In fact she was paying a fortune for the infant when they enrolled him and her 4 year old was still there but her tuition wasn't as much I guess because she's older. Again I have no idea if this is the norm, but I know she's paying an arm and a leg right now with two kids. 

missblaze

@CANTW82BMOM I only have DD in care but I know that the discount is only 10% for each additional child.

KatieEl

@CANTW82BMOM  10% is standard where I live too

ETA tag

Eags

@CANTW82BMOM The discount at our daycare center is like $30 or $40/month... not much lol. Especially considering DS (in K4 now) is $706/month and the infant class is almost $900/month. 

vjraab

I'm a teacher, and my daughter goes to daycare. I take her out in the summer. Our daycare charges half the weekly rate during summer weeks to hold her spot. It's no fun paying that without her being there, but I think that is pretty common. 

SouthernMs

CANTW82BMOM said:

Question for any moms with 2 or more in daycare (or those of you who have researched it already). What kind of discount do you get for the second kid? DH thinks we will get 50% off. I think he's out of his mind. I don't wanna ask yet because I'm not telling them I'm expecting yet. 

At our current place, you get 10% off additional kids, but discounts don't apply in the infant room. So, full price for the first year.

supercoolstephy

@CANTW82BMOM DS is moving to a new daycare this week. The previous daycare had a discount for a second child at 10% off the older siblings tuition. I think the new one is $10 off the older siblings daycare butttt its a better daycare, that's closer to my house (which I hadn't realized what a pain it would be when we moved and didn't know the area at the time) and the infant class is already $30 less per week than the previous one we were at, so we're saving more in the grand scheme of things.