R/R: Tried to stay away today because I've got so much to do at work, but I still came and loved (why do people call it love titting?) everything anyway. So I'm crazy behind on a work project, but that is self-inflicted so I don't think I can rant about it...
CS/Q: -
GTKY: What's your favorite outdoor activity?
Just taking walks or going on hikes I think.
*TW kid mentioned* my sister and I went out hiking earlier this month with her 4 year old and we ended up on a crazy long trail that we did not mean to be on and after over 2 miles discovered we would have to walk across a 1ft deep, 25 ft wide creek to carry on the trail. little girl was a champ, but my feet were not happy! *TW*
From yesterday: pizza pasta is a delicious easy pasta dish with pepperoni that is cooked entirely in one pot. It was my first time making it and we loved the taste and how easy it was. LINK From today: oh man, maybe your sister needs to get on a different board which is totally different than tb and pour out all of those BSC impulses? judging from what comes up whenever I google my BSC SS, those places exist aplenty!
@aliW220 - girl, I am with you. when people ask me if I like my job I usually respond "it's really great health insurance". I hope you get over this hump asap and that maybe eventually something changes to get better overall.
@kariann323 - that flea market sounds awesome, I hope the rain holds off for you!
@pebbledam - FX you get a clear O and get some good timing too!
@doxiemoxie212 - oh man, that prospect of mom right next door does not sound fun. I hope you don't have to worry about it more than today and get that temp spike asap!
@kbamomma33 - that's a really good perspective about military spouses, but I'm still sorry you're down with YH gone. GL with the wallpaper!
@lund - ugh sorry for the workout woes. those equestrian pics are so cool!
@avrilmai - what happens if the department gets cut??
@ladybugsamom - I'm sorry you're stressed about LO's behavior issues and kindergarten readiness. is it a public school he will be going to? if so you could certainly be proactive and ask that he be referred for potential services or extra behavior assistance. GL figuring out what works best for you guys!
@mythril - yay for trigger shot and follicle!! FX for you!
@sunniegrly - I'm sorry you might be dealing with another ano-O cycle and that you're hurting. I personally have chosen to only bump on weekdays and take a break on weekends. that helps me not to obsess so much over symptom spotting or whatever and focus more on intentional rest and relaxation with DH. I hope you can figure out what works best for your mental health too.
Me: 28 | H: 29 Married: October 2014 TTC #1 March 2017 Dx: PCOS - March 2018 IUI #1: April 2018 BFN IUI #2: May 2018
@sunniegrly I'm sorry if I hurt your feelings with my response on Sat! I truly was only trying to be helpful, and I really am sorry if it caused you more pain instead. I hope I did not make you feel like I thought your emotional response was"wrong" - I was just trying to provide an alternate perspective because it sounded like you were not enjoying the emotional response you were having. My emotional response isn't "right" - it's just different. I know my version of support is not always everyone's cup of tea. I just hope you (and everyone else) can trust that I mean well, and that y'all will just tell me to STFU if I'm making things worse.
And that sucks about CH - FF tried to give me CH for a few days ago yesterday, but I didn't believe him (I think of FF as a dude, is that weird?), and sure enough, he took them away today. Hugs.
LoveInDC said: @sunniegrly We all support whatever decision you make about being a part of this community. I'm not trying to beat you up or kick you out the door. But no one called you annoying, or too emotional, or too anything. In fact, many members admitted to going through the same emotions. Everyone was trying to comfort you. Some tried by saying "that sucks" while others thought maybe putting things in a different perspective would help make you feel better. Everyone who tried a different approach prefaced it by saying they were coming from a place of love and if it didn't help, to ignore them. But no one tried to invalidate your feelings or ostracize you.
*snip* "For those of you who said "you've only been trying for 2 cycles" - yes, that's true. But I was also "benched" for 2 years before that because of a serious mental illness that medication had trouble controlling (I wanted desperately to TTC during that time but knew I could not do so). So yeah, seeing everyone I know get to move on with having a family while I floundered in depression for two years and then finally getting well enough to start TTC and immediately having a problem is a pretty big blow."
First off, I want to say that I feel for your situation and am so sorry for the pain that you are going through and have gone through. @heatherdubrow asked you to help her understand where you were coming from. To me, that is the response of a friend who is trying to understand you because she cares. You could have elaborated on this (^^^) but you chose to be sarcastic and angry without actually answering her question, and then you dirty deleted because you "aren't allowed to have emotions," which is a total cop out.
I've also been through depression. It is terrifying and, at times, debilitating. What it is not though, is a free pass to do and say whatever you want without consequence or without having to explain your words or actions (non-sarcastically) to people who don't understand.
I think that everyone here really cares about your journey and does want to support you. If support, to you, means love titing to the high heavens and agreeing with everything you say without question or asking for clarity, I don't know that you'll find that here, or anywhere. If you need to GBCB, cool. But that is YOUR choice. It's not because you aren't allowed to have emotions. That's not what's happening here.
For the record, I personally think that you're funny and your gif game isn't too shabby either. I hope that you hang around and get KU ASAP. But, it's give and take here, as with anywhere. If you want to talk about unwelcoming, let's talk about your sarcasm and your precious time. If you can take responsibility for your end, I don't think that just laughing things off a little bit and moving on would be out of the question here.
Please excuse my inability to properly use the quote box...
P&G. I have a massive assignment due in 2 weeks. Must work now. I might be back later for comments or to defend myself against the possible backlash from my rant. If not, then I'll update ya'll tomorrow after my tests. Or not. Not sure yet. I came to this community to build relationships, but I really felt unwelcome and unsupported on Saturday. My time is too precious for me to spend it trying to build relationships with people who find me annoying or "too much" or whatever. So with no further ado, my possible last post...
Month/Cycle: 4/2
CD: 20
WAYDTGKU: Clearblue fertility monitor, CM (when I can find any), BBT, PNV, fertility testing tomorrow with the PA to a RE.
R/R: Took a break from TB for a few days. I know I'm too emotional. Can't be helped. It's a personality characteristic. If you don't like me or are annoyed by my emotions, just ignore any posts of mine that are too emotional for your taste. ***TW pregnancy mentioned*** For the record, my SIL is KU. Did I cry about it on and off for a day because I'm jealous and sad for myself? Yes. But am I happy for her and excited to be an aunt? Yes. Have I already started looking for cute onesies for her baby? Yes. I love my future niece/nephew. I'm not a sociopath who can only think of herself. **end TW** For those of you who said "you've only been trying for 2 cycles" - yes, that's true. But I was also "benched" for 2 years before that because of a serious mental illness that medication had trouble controlling (I wanted desperately to TTC during that time but knew I could not do so). So yeah, seeing everyone I know get to move on with having a family while I floundered in depression for two years and then finally getting well enough to start TTC and immediately having a problem is a pretty big blow. But please, beat up on me some more for feeling sorry for myself for a whole entire day and asking for some support from ya'll.
CS/Q: I lost my CH today. Looks like I didn't ovulate this cycle after all. I was hoping last cycle was a fluke from just getting off of the pill, but....now I'm not so sure. I guess I'll find out more tomorrow. I'll admit that I cried when FF took away my CH. Because that's what I do, apparently.
GTKY: What's your favorite outdoor activity? Walking. Fairly boring, I know. I also like gardening but have a black thumb.
@purplg8r - tomorrow actually... I came across a forum on another site where other moms were discussing whether to keep their May 2012 LOs out for another year. I never considered it before now. He's enrolled in a charter school for this fall, but it's a traditional school with rows of wooden desks vs round tables. They're required to write cursive and sit with their hands folded neatly at their desk. This type of traditional education works for my older two; but my little guy just wants to run around and be a free-spirit. Forcing him to do something that he doesn't want to do always ends badly. I'm so nervous/stressed about how he's going to do in a formal classroom setting....
@elisek It's not a public school, its a charter school with a focus on traditional education. Another friend mentioned the same thing so I'm now also considering moving him back into the public school system so we can take advantage of some of those resources.
@ladybugsamom I taught kindergarten for 9 years and have now taught 1st for 3 years. This charter school--please don't take offense to this-- but I'm not a fan of the sound of it. Cursive?? Are you sure?? Getting kindergarteners to write on the lines isn't even developmentally appropriate into the end of the year. Cursive is out of the question! I'm also a big fan of flower tables or in my case, individual desks grouped in 4s & 5s with them rotating around the room for work centers. They need to be able to move & interact. I do think that just wanting to run around and be a free spirit might be an issue though because rules & routines do need to be followed. And while it's not what you want to hear, there are often times (not all) that young boys with late spring/summer birthdays are very immature and would do well with starting kindergarten a year later. They're more mature, their brains are more ready to learn, and they WANT to learn. This is certainly not always the case but it's definitely something to think about.
@sunniegrly I've thought long and hard about how to respond to your post. Like @heatherdubrow, @doxiemoxie212, and @vflux33 I choose to express my empathy but to also provide you with a different perspective. While I can't explicitly speak for the other ladies, I feel that we probably all came to this from the same direction. Expressing sympathy can help for a moment, but introducing a different perspective or trying to talk through what exactly is causing your emotions can help for a lot longer. Like @LoveinDC said no one called you annoying, or too emotional, or too anything. We were just trying to help. It's unfortunate that you took this assistance the way you did. Like @kbamomma33 said rather than seeing our different perspectives as coming from a place of love and caring you choose to be angry and sarcastic.
A community is what you make it. No one is trying to kick you out or ostracize you. In my honest opinion though based on your sarcasm, anger at different perspectives, and dirty deleting, I feel that what you were looking for wasn't help through a difficult situation but a pity party. This is an incredibly supportive community, but support isn't just always saying "I'm sorry."
@purplg8r Thank you for your input! I'm thankful for an educators perspective. About the school.... I'm not offended at all. Yes, I'm sure about the cursive which is why I'm NOT sure about this school! The curriculum is accelerated so kindergarteners work at a 1st grade level. I just don't want to set him up for failure before we even get started. I'm considering waiting until next year more and more....
@SkilledSailor Your business sounds so much fun! I wish I was creative enough to do something like that. It's disappointing though when previous clients @Stargazer1lily Yuck, cat barf! @pebbledam FX you O soon! @doxiemoxie212 Hope you got all your cleaning done in time! I always leave it to the last minute too @kbamomma33 GL removing the wallpaper! @heatherdubrow Yay for last day of bcps!!! @vflux33 I'm sorry you're having a rough time with your sister. Has anyone talked to her about going to therapy? @Avrilmai *Hugs* I agree the wait and see is tough @ladybugsamom I agree with PP, it wouldn't hurt to talk to the local public school and see what kind of assistance they would be able to provide him @Mythril Yay for good lining. FX for you! @purplg8r Last year we found some signs for the basement if we ever get around to finishing it and putting in a bar. This year I'm really hoping to find an antique sewing machine end table like this:
@elisek The goal is always to keep my sister off. the. internet. Stop the crazy! I'll have to check out your pizza pasta recipe. Although probably wait till I'm off this diet... New hikes are always a gamble. I'm impressed someone that young could do such a wide stream crossing. Hope your feet are happier now!
@KariAnn323 Funny you mention that because I just had a conversation with her 2 hours ago and got her to agree to check her insurance to see if it's covered. If nothing else, maybe her having someone paid to listen to her totally insane fears will take the pressure off me and my parents a bit (also mental health = good).
@lund - patio drinking is a fabulous outdoor activity. @vflux33 - Sorry your sister is such a handful. @Avrilmai - Maybe you should work on writing a novel, too, this summer! It really sucks when employers do that. We had a big furlough/downsizing thing a few years ago and it was really stressful for everyone. @ladybugsamom - I have no advice for you, but I really hope that you and YH can come up with a good solution for your kiddo. @Mythril - Yay for your first trigger! FX this is your cycle! @sunniegrly - I was fortunate enough to see the full conversation from Saturday before you dirty deleted and I honestly thought you were over-reacting.... to us trying to be supportive and helpful. And dirty deleting is super passive aggressive. I'm sorry that you thought you were being attacked in anyway. I know I should look at the mental health check-in thread, but I'm sorta lazy right now - you admitted on Saturday to having emotional problems; Are you doing anything to help with those? Your emotional health is really important (as I'm sure you know) and I'm sorry that it has delayed your TTC journey. I think the moral of the story here really is that we are not a group of ladies that will just let you wallow. We really try to lift each other up and we don't like to see our friends hurting. Everyone who commented on your situation, IMO, really meant well. @elisek - I have also wondered about where the term "love titting" comes from. The first time I saw it, I thought it was a hilarious typo!
Me: 29 | DH: 29
Married 12/2016 DSS born 01/2016 TTC since 01/2017 Letrozole + TI = BFP 01/30/2018 | EDD 10/11/2018
Re: WTO Wednesday 5/17
@vflux33
From today: oh man, maybe your sister needs to get on a different board which is totally different than tb and pour out all of those BSC impulses? judging from what comes up whenever I google my BSC SS, those places exist aplenty!
Me: 28 | H: 29
Married: October 2014
TTC #1 March 2017
Dx: PCOS - March 2018
IUI #1: April 2018 BFN
IUI #2: May 2018
And that sucks about CH - FF tried to give me CH for a few days ago yesterday, but I didn't believe him (I think of FF as a dude, is that weird?), and sure enough, he took them away today. Hugs.
Also, in response to this:
"For those of you who said "you've only been trying for 2 cycles" - yes, that's true. But I was also "benched" for 2 years before that because of a serious mental illness that medication had trouble controlling (I wanted desperately to TTC during that time but knew I could not do so). So yeah, seeing everyone I know get to move on with having a family while I floundered in depression for two years and then finally getting well enough to start TTC and immediately having a problem is a pretty big blow."
First off, I want to say that I feel for your situation and am so sorry for the pain that you are going through and have gone through. @heatherdubrow asked you to help her understand where you were coming from. To me, that is the response of a friend who is trying to understand you because she cares. You could have elaborated on this (^^^) but you chose to be sarcastic and angry without actually answering her question, and then you dirty deleted because you "aren't allowed to have emotions," which is a total cop out.
I've also been through depression. It is terrifying and, at times, debilitating. What it is not though, is a free pass to do and say whatever you want without consequence or without having to explain your words or actions (non-sarcastically) to people who don't understand.
I think that everyone here really cares about your journey and does want to support you. If support, to you, means love titing to the high heavens and agreeing with everything you say without question or asking for clarity, I don't know that you'll find that here, or anywhere. If you need to GBCB, cool. But that is YOUR choice. It's not because you aren't allowed to have emotions. That's not what's happening here.
For the record, I personally think that you're funny and your gif game isn't too shabby either. I hope that you hang around and get KU ASAP. But, it's give and take here, as with anywhere. If you want to talk about unwelcoming, let's talk about your sarcasm and your precious time. If you can take responsibility for your end, I don't think that just laughing things off a little bit and moving on would be out of the question here.
Please excuse my inability to properly use the quote box...
@purplg8r - tomorrow actually...
@elisek It's not a public school, its a charter school with a focus on traditional education. Another friend mentioned the same thing so I'm now also considering moving him back into the public school system so we can take advantage of some of those resources.
A community is what you make it. No one is trying to kick you out or ostracize you. In my honest opinion though based on your sarcasm, anger at different perspectives, and dirty deleting, I feel that what you were looking for wasn't help through a difficult situation but a pity party. This is an incredibly supportive community, but support isn't just always saying "I'm sorry."
Dating: 2/2007 Married: 4/2011
TTC #1: 9/2016
*TW*
BFP #2: 3/9/2017 - CP: 3/10/2017
08/2017: DH's SA = normal
08/2017: Low progesterone (4.6) all other BW normal
11/2017: HSG Clear; Pelvic Ultrasound Normal; and AMH, FSH, and Estradiol normal
12/2017: 1,000mg Metformin
12/2017: 50mg Clomid + TI = BFN
01/2018: 100mg Clomid + TI = BFN
01/2018: RE Consult
03/2018: 5mg Letrozole + 50 units Gonal-F + 500 μg Ovidrel + IUI = BFP #3: 4/1/2018 - CP: 4/4/2018
04/2018: 5mg Letrozole + Gonal-F + Ovidrel + IUI = BFP #4: 5/2/18
@Stargazer1lily Yuck, cat barf!
@pebbledam FX you O soon!
@doxiemoxie212 Hope you got all your cleaning done in time! I always leave it to the last minute too
@kbamomma33 GL removing the wallpaper!
@heatherdubrow Yay for last day of bcps!!!
@vflux33 I'm sorry you're having a rough time with your sister. Has anyone talked to her about going to therapy?
@Avrilmai *Hugs* I agree the wait and see is tough
@ladybugsamom I agree with PP, it wouldn't hurt to talk to the local public school and see what kind of assistance they would be able to provide him
@Mythril Yay for good lining. FX for you!
@purplg8r Last year we found some signs for the basement if we ever get around to finishing it and putting in a bar. This year I'm really hoping to find an antique sewing machine end table like this:
Dating: 2/2007 Married: 4/2011
TTC #1: 9/2016
*TW*
BFP #2: 3/9/2017 - CP: 3/10/2017
08/2017: DH's SA = normal
08/2017: Low progesterone (4.6) all other BW normal
11/2017: HSG Clear; Pelvic Ultrasound Normal; and AMH, FSH, and Estradiol normal
12/2017: 1,000mg Metformin
12/2017: 50mg Clomid + TI = BFN
01/2018: 100mg Clomid + TI = BFN
01/2018: RE Consult
03/2018: 5mg Letrozole + 50 units Gonal-F + 500 μg Ovidrel + IUI = BFP #3: 4/1/2018 - CP: 4/4/2018
04/2018: 5mg Letrozole + Gonal-F + Ovidrel + IUI = BFP #4: 5/2/18
@KariAnn323 Funny you mention that because I just had a conversation with her 2 hours ago and got her to agree to check her insurance to see if it's covered. If nothing else, maybe her having someone paid to listen to her totally insane fears will take the pressure off me and my parents a bit (also mental health = good).
Me: 28 | H: 29
Married: October 2014
TTC #1 March 2017
Dx: PCOS - March 2018
IUI #1: April 2018 BFN
IUI #2: May 2018
@vflux33 - Sorry your sister is such a handful.
@Avrilmai - Maybe you should work on writing a novel, too, this summer! It really sucks when employers do that. We had a big furlough/downsizing thing a few years ago and it was really stressful for everyone.
@ladybugsamom - I have no advice for you, but I really hope that you and YH can come up with a good solution for your kiddo.
@Mythril - Yay for your first trigger! FX this is your cycle!
@sunniegrly - I was fortunate enough to see the full conversation from Saturday before you dirty deleted and I honestly thought you were over-reacting.... to us trying to be supportive and helpful. And dirty deleting is super passive aggressive. I'm sorry that you thought you were being attacked in anyway. I know I should look at the mental health check-in thread, but I'm sorta lazy right now - you admitted on Saturday to having emotional problems; Are you doing anything to help with those? Your emotional health is really important (as I'm sure you know) and I'm sorry that it has delayed your TTC journey. I think the moral of the story here really is that we are not a group of ladies that will just let you wallow. We really try to lift each other up and we don't like to see our friends hurting. Everyone who commented on your situation, IMO, really meant well.
@elisek - I have also wondered about where the term "love titting" comes from. The first time I saw it, I thought it was a hilarious typo!
DSS born 01/2016
TTC since 01/2017
Letrozole + TI = BFP 01/30/2018 | EDD 10/11/2018