Miscarriage/Pregnancy Loss

Another sisterhood I never knew I'd be a part of... (TW)

Our angel son, Giovanni, was born a week and a half ago, at 13 weeks gestational age. He had developed hydrops fetalis and I had started to miscarry about the same time the doctors were diagnosing us.

I'm so frustrated and feel so broken. My husband seems to be coping well so I don't want to keep crying to him, although I know he wants me to share with him what I'm going through. We both have our tough moments but I can't seem to shake this from my focus. It's all I think about. We waited three years to be parents and allowing them to induce labor, after I had started to miscarry, was the first and possibly only parental decision we'll get to make. I have been diagnosed with low AMH levels, and DH has been told he has low sperm count. While we're both relatively young, 31, I feel like the clock is ticking for my ovaries - and it's ticking loudly. We went through four failed IUI cycles and thought that our first round of IVF was finally our chance to be parents...and it was, just not in the way we thought.

I'm open to any resources you may have used to get through this time. I'd also like to hear about when you felt comfortable trying to conceive again - not just physically, how you knew that it wasn't about replacing a lost pregnancy but truly moving forward.

Re: Another sisterhood I never knew I'd be a part of... (TW)

  • I'm so sorry for your loss.  It's horrible to be in this situation but these ladies are the best and very supportive.  I'm just about to turn 42 so I'm with you on the low AMH levels and the clock ticking.  ****TW*****i had healthy pregnancy and delivered my DS at age 40.  I've had two miscarriages following him.  Knowing that I could start to try again right away was very important for me and I think it helped me heal.  I didn't look at it as replacement partly because the clock is ticking so loudly that I have to do things quick.  I also created a memorial for each loss in my garden which helped me to give closure.  It's difficult but I think you will know when you are ready.  Again I'm sorry you are here 
  • @jlo306 I'm so so sorry for your loss. I wish I had more advice to offer, but I am also going through my first loss. My baby did not grow past 6 weeks and a few days (although my body carried it until 9 weeks before I found out), and I elected for a D&C. I can't imagine what it must have been like going through what you did. Have you thought about seeing a professional counselor to help you cope with the loss?

    Just know you aren't alone. Big hugs.
    BabyFruit Ticker
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  • @jlo306 I am so sorry about your loss. It is totally normal to go through a range of emotions right now and your grief may take center stage for a period of time. TW-after my stillbirth, I was hopeless about the idea of ever becoming a parent due to our ages. As time passed, it seemed I could think more clearly and, though I still felt time ticking, could develop a plan for next steps. It was not easy and I ended up going to grief therapy for support. Also, I read a ton about other womens' experiences, which gave me the comfort in knowing I am not alone. Please take care.
  • I'm so sorry for your loss. I lost mine in December and dh and I have decided to tta until we are mentally ready. Everybody is different, you'll know when you're ready. Good luck
  • 40momma40momma member
    I am so sorry you are here with us. It's not a sisterhood anyone wants to be a part of but I'm finding great strength in women that understand what I''m going through. You are not alone, find comfort in other women that have been through this as well. And try to remember that we all grieve differently, that goes for your DH as well
  • bethe-2bethe-2 member
    I am so terribly sorry for your loss! My hubby & I just suffered our second miscarraige. Like yours, he doesn't express his grief in a vocal way. Don't let that quieter nature deter you from reaching out to him. The dream of a child is a shared one & so is the loss. In some ways the process of healing can be shared too, at the very least it sounds like he Wants to be a part of your healing. Our deepest sympathies to you both!
  • @jlo306 so sorry for your loss
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