International Bereaved Mother's Day

amberruka

Well, I finally came out on FB-I thought tomorrow being appropriate. I know everyone has a different way of doing things but here is my post:

 "A kind reminder that tomorrow is International Bereaved Mother's Day. I stand with those who have suffered miscarriage, infant loss/stillbirth, or any circumstance in which a child was taken from them too early. Not everyone's path follows the way they imagine it to be. For me it was developing Graves Disease immediately after mine in early 2016. I'm a lucky girl with a family already-me, J--- and Pooka. And we deal with whatever life brings our way. While I think I speak for most women in that we don't like shouting these things from the rooftops of social media, I don't believe we should hang our heads in shame, either. Thanks."

I also posted this link: https://www.sands.org.au/latest-news/316-international-bereaved-mother-s-day-a-day-dedicated-to-the-mums-whose-babies-are-no-longer

vlagrl29

That's nice!  I haven't came out on FB about our loss yet although a handful of friends on there do know about it.

amberruka

I wasn't sure if I ever was either.

SCK2411

I don't think I'll ever go public on Facebook but I saw that someone posted this poem and I thought I'd share it with you ladies bec it really spoke to me. 

Mack2342

That's nice ladies.  For me, the more I talk about my losses the more comfort I feel.  I'm not sure why but it is helpful to me.  It seems like that when I do talk about it I find more friends that have suffered and they understand.  

ladipale

I didn't come out until about 7 months after my first loss - when I got my tattoo. since then i've been very vocal about my loss(es) and it has been comforting AND I've had people reach out to me when they are going through a loss. I know being as open as I have is not for everyone though.

xoxo

amberruka

@ladipale absolutely. I wasn't sure if I would but the response has been so supportive. In my comments I've had some describe their losses as well. 

weareturtles

Kudos to those of you who have "come out" - I know that I have been comforted to have people in my personal life who have been open about their losses, such that I didn't feel like I was the only one I knew who experienced loss. I will admit that I have not become open with others about our losses, just a friend from work and my parents, but I hope to one day be outspoken about my experience and have others feel comfortable confiding in me about their loss. For now, I will keep everything a secret, as I don't want to be watched like a hawk since people don't know that we are even TTC.

dpjennifer

I've definitely found it easier on myself to be able to talk openly about my babies and my experiences, including depression and anxiety and breakdowns.  It allows me to really feel what I'm going through and to not feel that I always have to hide things and put on that 'happy' face on the days I'm dying inside. 
I put up several things on FB yesterday for International Bereaved Mother's Day.

tlq0726

I only knew of ONE friend, acquaintance really, who had had a mc when I was going through mine.  I reached out to her, and thankfully she was a fountain of information.  I think that's why I've been so open about mine on social media.  I know not everyone wants the world to know, but I want other friends to know that I'm here if they need to talk.  It was scary not knowing what to expect, and not really having anyone to talk to.  

40momma

It's inspiring to hear so much strength on these boards. I am with @weareturtles, I haven't been able to tell others except for my family and a very small handful of friends (I actually needed BF to tell them as I couldn't bare to). Here's the crazy thing, I organize an annual event with over 250 women to get out of their comfort zones, push their boundaries and embrace being strong confident women... and here I am, holed up alone, keeping this a secret. And I know that just feeds into the view from society that we aren't supposed to talk about it, but I just don't have the strength yet. Maybe one day I will

tlq0726

@40momma I don't think it's about strength necessarily.  I think, for me at least, it was more about wanting people to know they could come to me and I would understand.  Once I put it out there, I got so many messages from friends and family who had been through an mc before and I was like "where were you a week ago???"  I just don't want anyone to feel alone in this process.  There's no judgement in not telling.