I thought all belly/baby was a compliment too! Meaning, you don't look like you gained weight anywhere but where the baby is!
Either way though, I agree. Just smile and say "you look great" and leave it at that! Talking about a woman's weight (compliment or not) is just a big ole no no.
@pawcall The reason that I haven't liked hearing "all belly" is that I feel like I should say something self depricating back like, "No I'm not!" Or "no way, look at my hips!" I don't know, it's just an uncomfortable thing, and it's almost always been said to me by someone who is also pregnant or recently had a baby and it feels like a comparison that needs a response?
Obviously this is is all speculation and my insecurities, but I still don't like it, either way.
@katieb14 I have the same difficult past and am finding pregnancy is much more difficult than I had thought it would be. I guess I thought I'd be okay with the weight gain because it's healthy and it's a baby, but somehow I am still struggling.
Also about the whole weight thing I'd say it's rule of thumb to never comment on anyone's weight and never touch anyone's belly. Please for the love of God keep your hands to yourself. I went to a baptism the day after we announced (at 11 weeks and 4 days) and I was shocked at how many strangers just came up and groped my belly. Also my SIL said "omg you don't look 3 months pregnant at all" and I said thanks. And she goes " you look way more , it's so weird because I'm used to you being skinny" FIRST OF ALL I was very fit I was not "skinny" and second of all you don't get to talk about my body. K thanks.
@bcashaw I know how you feel. My sister said "I can't wait to see you get bigger because you're always so little" Gee thanks... that makes me feel better about gaining weight, even though I know it's for baby. I've struggled with body issues most of my life so it doesn't make me feel any better....
Perhaps instead of commenting on image asking a question might he better. I found I freaked when someone told me she could see my body change . I think she's more excited than me lol she is one of very few who know as we haven't told family yet but she's my pole dance instructor so for safety I let her know so yeah you can tell in a bra and tiny shorts if you are looking but I was only like 10wk at the time only 13 now and not really showing just puffy. Another friend who knows instead asked me how I'm coping ? Like she modeled before her now 3yo and struggles with image since and just asked how I'm finding it .
Which was nice . No comment just conversation In reality the weight is OK it's things like my nipples changing I hate it they are so big and dark now Even got comments off someone (who doesn't know) that I have big nipples . He didn't mean it offensively at all but I feel like they aren't mine *I'm a burlesque dancer/exotic dancer people do see them *
@Furmommy@bcashaw I've already received those comments as well. Today someone asked me if I was pregnant and said she could tell from my "belly" because I was always so small and now I have a belly apparently. Someone else asked if I was sure I wasn't having twins because I am showing so early (13 weeks). I am tiny and short and do have a tiny bump, but still it just came out kind of insensitive. I actually haven't gained any weight though. I just try to focus on being healthy for me and the baby, but I have body image issues from some past stuff and the comments I could do without.
Yikes! Started at same weight I started at precious to my first pregnancy and have only put on a few pounds, but I'm showing like o was at 20 weeks with my son.
I do realize people intend "all belly" comments as compliments, I just think it's not okay to remark on the size of any part of anyone's body. It wouldn't be a question if the woman wasn't pregnant, it would be unforgivably rude. I don't feel like being pregnant should give people license to verbally size me up and feel ok about it. It's still rude!
~Mom to an amazing Jan 2011 boy~ ~EDD Nov 18, 2017 with my IUI success story~
For the record , I would like to mention that I honestly believe that every single one of women looks absolutely radiant and wonderful. That being said, I am sad to see how many people have also expressed having issues with their bodies beforehand. What a sad world we live in.
Re: HDBD 5/3
I thought all belly/baby was a compliment too! Meaning, you don't look like you gained weight anywhere but where the baby is!
Either way though, I agree. Just smile and say "you look great" and leave it at that! Talking about a woman's weight (compliment or not) is just a big ole no no.
edit- typing is not going well today
Obviously this is is all speculation and my insecurities, but I still don't like it, either way.
Also about the whole weight thing I'd say it's rule of thumb to never comment on anyone's weight and never touch anyone's belly. Please for the love of God keep your hands to yourself. I went to a baptism the day after we announced (at 11 weeks and 4 days) and I was shocked at how many strangers just came up and groped my belly.
Also my SIL said "omg you don't look 3 months pregnant at all" and I said thanks. And she goes " you look way more , it's so weird because I'm used to you being skinny" FIRST OF ALL I was very fit I was not "skinny" and second of all you don't get to talk about my body. K thanks.
ETA: sorry for the rant
I found I freaked when someone told me she could see my body change . I think she's more excited than me lol she is one of very few who know as we haven't told family yet but she's my pole dance instructor so for safety I let her know so yeah you can tell in a bra and tiny shorts if you are looking but I was only like 10wk at the time only 13 now and not really showing just puffy.
Another friend who knows instead asked me how I'm coping ? Like she modeled before her now 3yo and struggles with image since and just asked how I'm finding it .
Which was nice . No comment just conversation
In reality the weight is OK it's things like my nipples changing I hate it they are so big and dark now
Even got comments off someone (who doesn't know) that I have big nipples . He didn't mean it offensively at all but I feel like they aren't mine *I'm a burlesque dancer/exotic dancer people do see them *
~EDD Nov 18, 2017 with my IUI success story~
[spoiler]
That being said, I am sad to see how many people have also expressed having issues with their bodies beforehand. What a sad world we live in.