Let's Talk About Sex, Bay-Bee:

mothernorth

Hey, hey new mamas- It's no secret motherhood can put a damper on our 'adult activities'. How is everybody fairing in the intimacy department?
Any questions or tips and advice to offer about getting your freak on after baby?

fitlady21

Some weeks are better than others.. depends on his work schedule. Yesterday we DOT twice in the morning before work! So big win for that! 

I dont seem seem to want sex much at night.. I just want to chill. So we've been having sex more in the middle of the night or in the morning. 

brzvice

Sadly not much action to report at all lately

Will have to creep the thread in hopes to get my sexy time mojo back

mothernorth

It's been real hit or miss with us lately Mostly because of this dumb Nexplanon making me bleed all the time, which makes me feel really, really unsexy.
It seems like we will get in a good love making groove, then something will come along and mess it up.

Ladybug2821

Not really feeling it over here. I'm still dealing with the dryness from BF. I'm also just too tired to feel like it. The last time was actually good but I'm just never in the mood.

fitlady21

@Ladybug2821 I'm never in the mood either! After we get started, I always enjoy it and am glad we did it. Just getting started is so hard haha

mothernorth

I also have trouble getting in the mood.

It's been about a week and a half since we've seen any action. Even longer since I've been the initiator, so I think I'm going to try to get myself in the mood and lead the way for FI, I'm sure his ego could use that kind of boost.
I do think he is sexy and find him attractive, it isn't his fault I haven't been feeling it, It's just not my thing right now. But- I shouldn't make him suffer for that, so I'll "take one for the team".

fitlady21

Lately, whenever we have sex, I've been bleeding for a short time afterwards. Anyone else experience this? It only happens when it's good, rough sex but still.. this use to never happen.

mothernorth

@fitlady21 That happens just about everytime for me, and it also feels like my cervix is a lot lower than it used to be so sometimes sex gets rough for me before he actually even gets rough.

fitlady21

@AllyTheKid Maybe that's what it is. My H is quite large and I could feel him hitting my cervix before I had the LO and now it seems even more so. It's a good hurt though so I didn't think of that really being the cause of blood but that makes sense. Does it ever go back to normal or no?

mothernorth

@fitlady21 I don't know the answer to that honestly, I'm hoping it does though. I got pregnant with the boys back to back so haven't had enough to find out, and when I had DD, my ex-H and I were intimate maybe three times before our divorce then I was celibate for a while, so I really don't know. Fingers crossed though!

Ladybug2821

H doesn't think sometimes. Yesterday as I was already out of the door tried to
convince me to come back in for a quickie.  Mind you, we had taken a shower together and he was around as I was getting ready which should've been the time to try. So of course I said no and said catch me later lol. So this morning I told him be ready when I get out of the shower. As I'm getting out, he is playing with S in bed so i told S she was cramping my style but in my mind I was like yessss I don't have to do it. 

fitlady21

@Ladybug2821 It seems like they always want a quickie at the most inconvenient time!

mothernorth

Our sex is so infrequent, everytime is quicky now. If you catch my drift.

Ladybug2821

Sleep training Might have been a bad idea lol. We have more time on our hands now and H won't leave me alone. I can handle once a day but more than that is just too much. I'm still dealing with dryness whether it's from BF or something else and lube still isn't enough if he's wanting a second or third time. 

mothernorth

I would definitely explain the dryness if you haven't already. I had a literal tear in my vagina from trying to "deal with it" before instead of just talking to him about not being so vigorous. Never again, put your comfort first. I'm sure he'll understand, mine did once I actually talked to him about it.

Ladybug2821

AllyTheKid said:

I would definitely explain the dryness if you haven't already. I had a literal tear in my vagina from trying to "deal with it" before instead of just talking to him about not being so vigorous. Never again, put your comfort first. I'm sure he'll understand, mine did once I actually talked to him about it.

Yeah...he doesn't care lol. He just thinks I'm making excuses to get out of doing it. 

fitlady21

@Ladybug2821 Haha mine thinks the same!

@AllyTheKid Would sex hurt every time due to the minor tear? Sometimes when we use toys, I feel a pain and there's always blood afterwards in the spot I felt pain.

mothernorth

I just ended up having to cut him off until it healed up! He assumed if I didn't constantly remind him that I was hurting that it was go time. 

@fitlady21 Yes it did hurt until it healed, and I am *still* experiencing spotting and bleeding everytime, but I think my BC has something to do with it too? I'm having the nexplanon removed tomorrow though and going back to the pill. I have no trouble remembering to take it, so I'm going back. This implant is too much grief.

Ladybug2821

Sex is now uncomfortable even with lube  .  Maybe I need a different lube?  I also feel like I could go forever without it. The mood never strikes. 

mothernorth

@ladybug2821 is your lube water based or oil based? I have to use straight coconut oil or I dry right up
I haven't been in the mood much at all lately either. Hopefully it'll pass before too long. 

fitlady21

I haven't been in the mood either! Just the thought of it turns me off.

Ladybug2821

I'd much rather try to get some sleep!

mothernorth

These infinite periods of doom are also murdering my sex life. 

Ladybug2821

AllyTheKid said:

These infinite periods of doom are also murdering my sex life. 

When do u get that thing removed??

mothernorth

When I can afford to I had to cancel my removal appointment because we didn't have the money. And we don't have insurance. I would rather have forever periods than have to worry about possibly getting pregnant now anyway. So that's that for now.

Ladybug2821

I DO NOT want to have sex AT ALL. I get so annoyed when H wants to. I'm actually at a place where I almost don't want him touching me at all which is not good. He has been pissing me off lately so I'm sure that has a lot to do with it. I just want to be left alone. 

mothernorth

I'm starting to get that way myself. I think I need a vacation... By myself.

mothernorth

Did the sex last night for the first time since I've been sickly. Thank goodness it only lasted roughly one minute. Literally. My head was not in the game.

brzvice

Welp now that my period is back and V is 9 months old, H and I are ready for #2.  According to google  I need to DTD the next few days. Not exactly looking forward to it but not dreading it either.

Ladybug2821

I feel bad but I just don't want to be touched. S woke up at 4am (anyone else going through the 8-10 month sleep regression?) and H took that as I time to have sex. NO!!!  I just want to sleep. And the dryness is ridiculous still.  

@brzvice Good luck!  I do feel the dread ughhh. 

mothernorth

I've officially entered Nopeville for an extended stay. 
However @brzvice I am excited for you guys to TTC, and I am beyond nosy and interested in updates!

brzvice

Only managed to DTD once over our 3 day vacation. We were so fatigued and exhausted after trying to get V down and dealing with her numerous wake ups. I don't know if it was because she was in the pack and play in a hotel or if there was something else going on but she slept terribly. Last night we were in our own bed/cribs and we all slept much better. 

ETA the hotel sexin was actually amazing. The bed was firm so there wasn't a ton of bouncing which is a good thing IMO.

Ladybug2821

@brzvice Where did you go on vacation if you don't mind me asking?

brzvice

We did a northern MI trip and checked out Lake Charlevoix and our favorite lake, Torch Lake 

mothernorth

@brzvice You guys been able to BD and shoot for that BFP??

brzvice

Nothing yet- I started my second PP cycle yesterday. I'm definitely not obsessing about it, will keep you posted though!  I did download a cycle tracking app called MYdays that is pretty bomb dot come for keeping track of things though.

Ladybug2821

I'm actually freaking out because my period is late AGAIN. I can't handle this stress ughhh. I told H we need to start using condoms. I'm pretty sure my tracking is accurate but I can't be 100%. 

mothernorth

@brzvice I love the MyDays Tracker! That's the one I used to use. Honestly, I only recently deleted the app because I got sick of looking at the screen and there only being like, 5-10 days total that weren't blocked out in red =/  Stupid Nexplanon ruining my life...

@LadyBug2821 I would be freaking out too, but I'm sure she's just a wee bit late is all! I'm trying to figure out what BC to switch to once I get the Nexplanon removed so I can avoid that happening.

I'd like to lay off any hormones for a while so my body can try to regulate, but I also don't want to risk getting pregnant again. Even though the devil on my shoulder keeps whispering "Just do it. Johnny is basically a kid now, time for a new baby." Four kids is plenty kids, and I have to keep reminding myself that. I so dearly have wanted to try for another girl though, just to say I gave it my best shot. I'd happily get my tubes tied if I were to have another, I just have this nagging urge for "one more".

Ladybug2821

@AllyTheKid I think it's just late also but it's still nerve racking. I don't have plans on getting on BC ever again so I'm going to have to do better tracking and H is just going to have to suck it up and buy condoms. 

kmtz89

@ladybug2821  I basically demanded H to wear condoms because my period is still all over the place and every time it's "late" I about die of a panic attack. Def not ready for another baby.