Baby Names

Official boy name vs. Nickname

Hello everyone! I haven't been on the bump much this pregnancy...mostly just lurking, but DH and I are having a tough time deciding on what to "officially" name our baby boy coming in May. Here's where we are: 

We're already calling him Jack. It's literally the only name we can both agree on. Our DD is also calling my belly Baby Jack, so we're not willing to deviate from that.

However, my husband wants to "officially" name our son John but use Jack as the nn, which we would use all the time. His reasons are: 1. Family significance (his great grandfather on his Dad's side was John with the same middle initial we are using) 2. He wants both our kids to have the option of using a more formal name or casual nickname as they become professionals. Our daughter's name is Caroline but we call her Callie almost exclusively, so this baby's name would follow suit. 

While I'm a big fan of classic names, John is still a little too vanilla, even for me. I'd like to just name him Jack and be done with it, but I think my husband has valid points. Plus there are some strange dynamics within my husband's family (I don't really want to get into it) that lead me to believe that if we open the door for a name other than Jack he will be called his "official" name by that side of the family and I hate that. 

What do you think? Could we put John on the birth certificate and never call him that? Not have to have him hear that name on the school attendance list, etc.? Or are there any other names other than John (or Jonathan) that also use Jack as a NN? DH has vetoed Jackson. 

Thanks in advance!
TTC Since July 2013
BFP #1 8/8/13, EDD 4/16/14
MMC discovered on 9/18/13 @ 10w, baby measuring 9w. D&C on 9/26/13



BFP #2 12/7/13
, EDD 8/12/13. It's a girl!
Caroline Marie born 8/20/14. 8lbs 11oz, 21 inches and perfect!

Re: Official boy name vs. Nickname

  •  If his legal name is John, you will hear the name John and see it on paperwork. What if your son wants to be called John when he is older? It sounds like you hate the name John and for that reason I would just name him Jack. I love Jack btw.
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    virginiaunicorn11
  • I think if, when he's older, he wants to be called John I'd be okay with it. But if people call him Jack when he's still a little dude it would tick me off for sure.  ;)
    TTC Since July 2013
    BFP #1 8/8/13, EDD 4/16/14
    MMC discovered on 9/18/13 @ 10w, baby measuring 9w. D&C on 9/26/13



    BFP #2 12/7/13
    , EDD 8/12/13. It's a girl!
    Caroline Marie born 8/20/14. 8lbs 11oz, 21 inches and perfect!

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  • I've considered Jack for a second son if we have one. It would be for family members that went by Jack. Those family members were not officially named Jack or John or anything remotely similar to Jack or John, it was just a random nn that siblings used and it caught on. If I wanted to call my son Jack and wasn't a fan of John, I would just name him Jack. I think it has pretty well crossed into the territory of a full, given name. 
    Me: 32 DH: 32 TTC#1 since Oct 2015
    PCOS - BFP!!!! 1/16/17 EDD: 9/22/17 Baby Boy - born 9/18/17

  • I really think you can do either, it totally depends on what you feel more comfortable with given the family dynamics.

    I would probably go with John because I feel it is more formal.

    However, I know plenty of people with the given name Jack and it's not weird at all. My grandfather and cousin are both John but have never gone by anything other than Jack even late in life.

    Realizing I was literally no help hah
    Me (29) & DH (30)
    Married 9/27/2014
    DD Born 6/23/16
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  • I actually didn't even know that Jack was a nickname for John until I met my husband. Both his father and his grandfather are officially named John they have always gone by jack for their whole lives. On a sidenote I don't really see the connection for Jack being a nickname for John at all. I think it would be different if the nickname you were talking about was particularly cute see or juvenile Like Stevie or Robby  but I look at Jack as a solid and mature sounding standalone name. I don't really think that your husband's points are that valid in this case. I think to name him John knowing that you will never call him John is just making it more complicated for no reason. Jack is a super popular name that if you're  OK with that it's obviously a great name. I totally put it in the category of classic traditional. 
  • If you like Jack, go with it. At this point it is it's own formal name, not a nickname. 
    MrsCFB
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  • I would use John to give him options. 
    Married 9-4-04

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    saham07
  • I didn't know Jack was a nn for John. John still seems like a nn to me, for Johnathan/Jonathan. I would just name him Jack.
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    JennyColada
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  • To me, if you plan to call him Jack, name him Jack. I don't think it's too nicknamey and is a good stand alone name. If you go with John it will be on all his records school paperwork and he'll always have to correct people. 
    JennyColada3rescuepups
  • I have never understood why Jack is a NN for John....same number of letters, two completely different names in my opinion.  

    If you want to stay with Jack and want a more formal name and are willing to deviate from the name John, I love Jackson for a boys name.  It was #1 on our boy list.  Jacoby, could be another option.... 
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  • Stick with Jack. 
    DD: Ophelia 5/18/15
  • I would stick to Jack. As a teacher, he will always be called John for attendance on the first day of school and have to correct them. That's just how it goes. You will always be writing it down for official paperwork so if you really don't like it, I agree you shouldn't use it.

    I also think Jack can stand on its own. 
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  • MrsCFBMrsCFB member
    Long-Lasting Membership 250 Answers 1000 Comments 25 Love Its
    Go with Jack.  
  • Jack.

    I have been called a nickname since birth, which has nothing to do with my first name, and it is a complete pain in the butt. They did that to my brother, too, and we both hated it. We both named our kids what we want them to be called.

    I am certain someone else in my exact position will post saying they loved having options. But for me, I really hate it.

    Regarding using a formal name in professional settings - that argument makes more sense for a Callie than a Jack. I don't really see a difference between formality/professionalism between John and Jack. 

    Last: you don't seem to like the name John. End of story. 
    KaLikeAWind
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  • KStar21KStar21 member
    Seventh Anniversary 25 Love Its 10 Comments Photogenic
    Jack.

    I have been called a nickname since birth, which has nothing to do with my first name, and it is a complete pain in the butt. They did that to my brother, too, and we both hated it. We both named our kids what we want them to be called.

    I am certain someone else in my exact position will post saying they loved having options. But for me, I really hate it.

    Regarding using a formal name in professional settings - that argument makes more sense for a Callie than a Jack. I don't really see a difference between formality/professionalism between John and Jack. 

    Last: you don't seem to like the name John. End of story. 
    I agree with this - use Jack straight-up.
  • NME44NME44 member
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    Jack. For all the reasons mentioned above.
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  • saham07saham07 member
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    I love love LOVE John nn Jack! 
  • I would name him Jack. I think it's fine as a stand alone name, not like naming your son Ben or Josh. To me, it's just as formal as John and works for an older/professional man too. I'm a teacher so I always see it through the point of view of roll call/graduation etc "I go by Jack." It's a lot easier to not have to deal with that your whole life.
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  • I would name him Jack. It's totally fine as a stand alone name and not any less than John. 
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  • cantrelljacantrellja member
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    I guess I am the only one who thinks Jack as a given name is far too casual. Use John.
    saham07ladylolly89
  • SmrBrd2012SmrBrd2012 member
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    I'm on the fence. I prefer John with nn Jack but I wouldn't side eye Jack as a given name. I just think it's a little informal compared to John.

    saham07
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  • esmith10esmith10 member
    Seventh Anniversary 250 Love Its 100 Comments Photogenic
    Thanks for the advice, everyone! I think we're going to go with "just Jack"
    TTC Since July 2013
    BFP #1 8/8/13, EDD 4/16/14
    MMC discovered on 9/18/13 @ 10w, baby measuring 9w. D&C on 9/26/13



    BFP #2 12/7/13
    , EDD 8/12/13. It's a girl!
    Caroline Marie born 8/20/14. 8lbs 11oz, 21 inches and perfect!

    nanner829silvergreenpurplewriter-2ShilohRyan
  • @esmith10 I'm a little late to the discussion and see you have already made your decision, but just wanted to say that I would also go with "just Jack"! :)
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    esmith10
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  • esmith10esmith10 member
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    Annnd my SIL announced on Mother's Day that she's pregnant, having a boy, and his name will also be Jack (with nearly the same middle name too). Guess I wasn't crazy to be worried about the family dynamics on that side. 

    Oh well!! This baby is coming in a matter of days and we're not turning back now!!
    TTC Since July 2013
    BFP #1 8/8/13, EDD 4/16/14
    MMC discovered on 9/18/13 @ 10w, baby measuring 9w. D&C on 9/26/13



    BFP #2 12/7/13
    , EDD 8/12/13. It's a girl!
    Caroline Marie born 8/20/14. 8lbs 11oz, 21 inches and perfect!

    ShilohRyan
  • esmith10 said:
    Annnd my SIL announced on Mother's Day that she's pregnant, having a boy, and his name will also be Jack (with nearly the same middle name too). Guess I wasn't crazy to be worried about the family dynamics on that side. 

    Oh well!! This baby is coming in a matter of days and we're not turning back now!!
    Oh wow. Maybe she will change her mind after your Jack is here. 
    DD: Ophelia 5/18/15
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  • esmith10esmith10 member
    Seventh Anniversary 250 Love Its 100 Comments Photogenic
    I hope so, although she is really stubborn and competitive so who knows what will happen. We had already told both our parents, but we're trying to keep our name a surprise for everyone else until the baby was born. As soon as she was like "I'm pregnant and naming him Jack" I told her that we were naming our baby Jack, and she didn't acknowledge it, and just went and announced her baby name on all her forms of social media. 

    Sorry for the venting, but I need to get it out somehow! The last thing I wanted to worry about in the last days of my pregnancy is a potential family fued, but that's where we are...
    TTC Since July 2013
    BFP #1 8/8/13, EDD 4/16/14
    MMC discovered on 9/18/13 @ 10w, baby measuring 9w. D&C on 9/26/13



    BFP #2 12/7/13
    , EDD 8/12/13. It's a girl!
    Caroline Marie born 8/20/14. 8lbs 11oz, 21 inches and perfect!

    ashleyandelyShilohRyan
  • nanner829nanner829 member
    500 Love Its 500 Comments Second Anniversary First Answer
    Man that is tough. Honestly, if that's the name you've chosen, I still say go for it. Your SIL still had awhile before she delivers I assume so maybe (hopefully) she'll change her mind once your little one is here. 
    esmith10
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  • saham07saham07 member
    Seventh Anniversary 250 Answers 2500 Comments 500 Love Its
    Yikes! Just to keep peace (and not because you are obligated to AT ALL), I would talk to you sis-in-law and brother(in-law) together so that they both hear it.........the conversation could go something like this.
    So happy to have a little cousin on the way for our little guy. As I mentioned to you on Mothers Day, we are nameing our boy Jack. We have only told our parents. We wanted keep his name a secret until he was born and then announce it to everyone else. We are telling you because you have mentioned the name Jack also. Clearly we have the same taste in names. .........ans so on and so on
    Good Luck...........I would still use Jack if that is still your pick. If your sister-in-law is highly competitive and you just give in on this..........then you are setting yourself up to be run over by her for a long time.
    esmith10
  • Just use Jack. It sounds like you really don't like the name John if you're so against people calling him that despite it being his given name, and Jack isn't as nickname-y as Callie. It's fine on its own.

    And don't give SIL another thought. You warned her that you would be using Jack, and your Jack is coming first. She might end up changing her mind anyway.
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  • I REALLY think you should have a "real" name - it gives a person choices later in life.  No Jack but John "Jack" or Jackson "Jack". Jake is a nickname, too.  Don't name a girl Kate but Katherine.

    Our Godson is John/Jack and has not had a problem with name confusion.  It sounds so elegant to have a "real" formal name.  Jack is a nickname.
  • I REALLY think you should have a "real" name - it gives a person choices later in life.  No Jack but John "Jack" or Jackson "Jack". Jake is a nickname, too.  Don't name a girl Kate but Katherine.

    Our Godson is John/Jack and has not had a problem with name confusion.  It sounds so elegant to have a "real" formal name.  Jack is a nickname.
    This baby is 4 months old by now...
    firefliesandfjords3rescuepups
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