Miscarriage/Pregnancy Loss

Early miscarriage *warning some details*

Two weeks ago my husband and I found out we were expecting our 2nd child. On Friday I started bleeding. Monday morning I called the Dr. At 2:00 Monday I put my feet in the sturups and I can still hear her voice as she says you don't have to look if you don't want to. At that moment she confirmed all my fears... I lost the baby. I was at most 6 weeks pregnant. I never got to hear the heart beat. I never got to see the little bean on the ultrasound. For two short weeks I had the sore breasts, the morning sickness, and the two little pink lines of pure joy. In a moment all of that was gone. Not many knew I was expecting so now they want to know why I'm not myself. I know it was early but I feel empty inside. We want another child and we will try again, but the thought of trying is unapealing. For those of you that have been through this when did it get easier and when did your sex drive come back? 

Re: Early miscarriage *warning some details*

  • I am so sorry you are going through this and please know that you are not alone. I am going through the same thing, and have struggled with so many of the same thoughts, but I'm trying my hardest to just take it one day at a time. I'm not sure if it ever gets easier. 
  • I'm so sorry for your loss @Knottie1449002725.  You take whatever time you need to heal before trying again.  You will know when that moment is right.  It does get easier. It never stops being painful but it gets easier.  For me knowing that we could try right away made things easier but everyone is different. So take the time you need.  
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  • Sorry for your loss. I've gone through it 4 times in the past two years and I only suffered TTC anxiety after the first because I was so traumatized by losing 1/3 of my blood volume in <6hrs. I took a 6 month break and it was 4 months before my therapist discharged me. After that, I adopted the "don't get attached" mindset and recovery has been easier, especially for the two chemicals. The ectopic was a little rougher simply due to needing two general anesthesia procedures and it taking 4+ months to get cleared medically to TTC again... but it's more frustration than depression. The baby was 3 millimeters away from a placement that would've allowed me to keep it.
  • @Knottie1449002725 I am so very sorry for your loss. I too miscarried around 6 weeks and had never seen the heartbeat either. Every u/s leading up to it was heart wrenching as the doctor would say she didn't think it was a healthy pregnancy. Everyone takes their own time in grieving and you have every right to grieve. I needed fertility treatment to get pregnant in the first place so I ended up with several months of wait after the m/c before being able to try again because of a few surgeries needed from it and then waiting for AF again. Even now, almost 6 months later, and still not pregnant again, I still will burst into tears out of nowhere thinking of the baby that will never be and if that happens with you you have to allow yourself to experience how you feel and not push it aside. My plan is to have a celebration of life on what would have been my due date, with just my husband. Do something that is meaningful to us and allow ourselves to feel however we do at that time. Do whatever you can that makes you feel happier and keeps you busy so you can give yourself time to heal and not feel pressured to start trying immediately. 

    Sending hugs your way!
  • Oh it sucks! I got a bfp at 4 weeks week of Xmas. Then week of New Years found out I was having a chemical pregnancy. It was a very exhausting last 2 weeks of 2016 with all the highs and lows. I had zero desire to TTC that first month out. We got back into it in February. It took us 6 months to get that. I felt so defeated. Currently in 3rd cycle trying again. This go around is much different for me. It was important for the stress to be gone from ttc. I'm just over that part of it. So sorry for your loss.
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