@perfectypo I totally understand the anxiety. Hugs . I couldn't participate much last week on the TB because of anxiety. We get it, and we're here for you when you need us.
@NYTino24 This may be a UO on TB, but I absolutely loathe that post of "chances of not MCing" that's been floating around the BMBs the last couple years. (If it's the same one that was up in Aug and Nov 16). Mostly because it is most definitely NOT from a scientific source. I traced it back to a random blog post by someone who ran an astrophysics/space blog. She got pregnant and was feeling anxious, so she read three abstracts of scientific papers to make that table. For non-scientists, reading only an abstract of a paper is like reading a 1 paragraph summary of a huge novel and drawing conclusions about characters, plots, and details. There are a lot of assumptions and discussion of what results actually mean that cannot be found in an abstract alone. That table gets propagated around TB, and I think too many women put too much stock into the exact numbers for each day. While I applaud the general principle (that your risk of MC goes down with each day you don't have a problem), I think it provides too much false security and detail. Second, that drop in MC chance only applies if everything is developing normally - which no one can know before an ultrasound. The best we can say is that after 7/8 weeks and a heartbeat is detected, that your risk drops significantly, and that overall, everyone's chances of things turning out OK are much better than not. In summary, I hate putting numbers on it because 1) the numbers are BS, and 2) the numbers can be painful for women on the losing side of those stats.
1. How far along are you today? How are you feeling? 9 weeks 2 days - feeling alright... I have an U/S tomorrow and am very nervous that things aren't going to be okay. We saw a heartbeat at my last U/S 2 weeks ago. I heard the heartbeat with my fetal doppler right at 9 weeks, it was faint and I couldn't get the bpm, but I did hear it.. Still makes me so anxious
2. Share any part of your loss history you feel comfortable sharing. What are your loss milestones?
Had an early miscarriage and then a miscarriage at 8 weeks.. mc naturally both times. This is the farthest I have ever been... hopefully that's a good sign.
3. How are you feeling today? Struggles? Successes?
Nervous for tomorrow, my SIL in pregnant, found out the gender today. She hasn't had a MC and she is going through this pregnancy without a care in the world. I wish that I could go through this pregnancy like her, just blissfully unaware of everything bad that could happen. I'm really struggling with that right now... She doesn't know we're expecting. We haven't told many people.
4. How is your SO handling everything?
He's great, continues to tell me that everything is going to be ok.
5. GTKY: Will you be starting a pregnancy baby book?
Last time I had already taken pictures... I haven't taken one this time. I don't know if I'll document anything until I get out of the first trimester...
I've been responding, but never filled this out...
1. How far along are you today? How are you feeling? 6+3. I still feel good. I've been having some food aversions and little bits of nausea here and there. Though I can't tell if it's baby or if it's because I am so, so sick of all of the Whole30 food. Today is day 30, though! I'm so pumped for a bagel tomorrow morning.
2. Share any part of your loss history you feel comfortable sharing. What are your loss milestones? 3 losses. 2 CPs and one NMC in January at 7 weeks. This Saturday (6+5) is when everything started going wrong with my last pregnancy, so I'm really looking forward to getting past that day and getting my ultrasound next week.
3. How are you feeling today? Struggles? Successes? I'm good. I'm trying my best to remember that today I am pregnant. I have no reason to believe that things aren't going perfectly, so I'm trying my hardest to just be optimistic.
4. How is your SO handling everything? He's fine. Though he'll be traveling to a Zika hot spot soon (can't get out of it), so if something goes wrong with this pregnancy, we'll be benched for half a year, which I'm pissed about.
5. GTKY: Will you be starting a pregnancy baby book? Nope. All I want are a couple cute family pictures when I have a big bump.
Had my dating ultrasound today. 8w5d, EDD 11/4, right around my only somewhat educated guess. Everything looked good, and seeing that quick little heartbeat made me feel so much more at ease. Hopefully I can enjoy this pregnancy a little better from now on.
@RiverSong15 I just wanted to agree with you about the numbers being hurtful to those who suffer losses. It wasn't statistics, but morning sickness that I was putting my hopes in. With DD I had MS so bad there were many days I couldn't function at all, and people kept telling me that I couldn't complain about it because it meant the baby was healthy. Then with my next pregnancy, as I had my head in the toilet at work feeling sorry for the innocent woman in the stall next to me, I kept thinking, at least the baby's healthy. It wasn't. And then I felt betrayed, like my body had lied to me. But it wasn't my body that lied, it was that "rule" that everyone kept spouting off. But it stung badly. And here I am on my third pregnancy, having not puked once, and everything is developing exactly as it should be.
You can't put your trust in statistics, but you can trust that God is always good no matter what the outcome.
@RiverSong15 I was on the wrong side of the stats. What most people don't realize is that not only do you need an appropriate heart rate, but also a certain ratio of gestational sac and yolk sac, etc. Hedging your bets based on stats still acknowledges that you could still be that small percentage. For some, it provides security (maybe a false sense) but does it really matter? Being blissfully unaware is better than suffering anxiety of something that might possibly happen, IMHO. I wish I could go back to the naivety of my first pregnancy, but even then I knew that my chances of MC would be higher. I just had more hope that I would be a lucky one. Anyway, there isn't any accurate miscarriage data because so many aren't reported or even realized and those that are aren't always tested for a cause. It's all just estimates. I know I'm preaching to the choir here. @gipfish I really don't mean to offend, but I like to leave religion out of my miscarriage. One of the most offensive things I've heard was that it was "all in God's plan" or that "God never gives you more than you can handle." No good came from it.
I can't imagine what women with repeated or late miscarriages and stillbirths have gone through. We are all in this together.
It's funny how it's the little things in life that mean the most...not where you live, or what you drive, or the price tag on your clothes... There's no dollar sign on a piece of mind, this I've come to know! *ZBB*
@NYtino24 I agree that some women find that table and numbers helpful, or that post wouldn't be so popular on TB. And if people need something like that to calm anxiety, great - to each their own. However, the fact that they aren't based on legitimate science really bothers me as a scientist. Where we get information from *matters*. Whether something has truth to it, or is reliable, or is scientifically defensible *matters*. Too many people don't know how to distinguish pseudo-science and snake oil from legitimate science, and so it really bothers me when bad science is shared widely, especially on TB which is one of the more science based TTC forums out there. If that post was based on Mayo Clinic stats, or from the American Pregnancy Association or ACOG, I wouldn't hate it nearly as much. I'd still think it was giving a bit of false reassurance, but at least the numbers would be more legit. As it is, the numbers are BAD numbers.
@RiverSong15 I forgot to add that you convinced me not to post it.
It's funny how it's the little things in life that mean the most...not where you live, or what you drive, or the price tag on your clothes... There's no dollar sign on a piece of mind, this I've come to know! *ZBB*
@NYTino24 Lol. Nice. I'm sure someone will post it at some point. Perhaps it's still a sore point for me because when I and other loss moms pointed this stuff out on Nov. 16, we were called "fear mongerers" by non-loss moms. That still stings, 1 year later.
@RiverSong15 I want to throw up when I hear that people would treat someone who has experienced such a heart-wrenching thing such as child loss like that. It's uncalled for and I'm sorry it happened to you.
It's funny how it's the little things in life that mean the most...not where you live, or what you drive, or the price tag on your clothes... There's no dollar sign on a piece of mind, this I've come to know! *ZBB*
@NYTino24 I am not offended. I'm sorry people said those things to you following your miscarriage. True though they may be, that is NOT how you weep with those who weep. I would never dream of saying, "Well it was God's plan," as a way of trying to comfort someone after a loss, because it's not comforting at all. I only meant that I find it reassuring during this precarious and helpless stage of pregnancy to know that I don't have to worry about the statistics because One who knows better than me is sovereign.
@RiverSong15 sorry to hear people treated you like that. I think that sometimes people who haven't experienced loss would rather just ignore it and pretend it doesn't happen. It is easier to be blissfully unaware...which is hard for those of us who ended up on the wrong side of the statistics.
Semi-related--I hate that Clearblue commercial where the women are so excited about their positive tests--celebrating not just with their partners, but with their parents, friends, grandparents, telling their other kids they're going to have a sibling...I'm not saying anyone should hide their pregnancy, it's just hard to watch because i can't have that innocent excitement anymore. Of course I try to be positive and think the best, but even after first tri I'm going to feel very guarded. I think it's feelings like that people who haven't experienced loss just don't understand. That commercial comes on Hulu all the time and it still makes me cry sometimes.
I have had a few people tell me that God has a plan for me and while I can understand how it wouldn't be helpful for some, it honestly doesn't bother me and did bring me some comfort. I think people just look at life and religion in different ways, and that's ok. One of the people who said that to me was the ER nurse--she cried with me and hugged me after the doctor told me there was no heartbeat. I still think about how sweet and caring she was--it meant so much on that awful day.
@RiverSong15 I am actually glad that you explained the source of those stats. While I am not a scientist, I have an appreciation for scientific methodology and statistics. So if I am drawing conclusions from a spurious source, I appreciate knowing that Thank you. PS. I totally read abstracts and draw conclusions, but that's just because the actual articles are totally over my head!! I should probably stick to my day job.
There's someone that's been talking about their SIL being carefree and I feel like I never was like that. Even with my first pregnancy that resulted in DS. Maybe I knew too much about the biology? I don't know. I am kind of envious. Now after losses (and for a while I thought this one was heading in that direction), I am so far away from carefree.
Also, I am sorry you had that experience @RiverSong15. Also, the reaction is kind of bizarre but to each their own...
@NYTino24 I've told exactly two people about prior losses and luckily haven't heard the "it's all in god's plan." It's not that it rubs me the wrong way from a religion perspective, but that I feel like that response is not empathetic. It's minimizing the experience "you'll be ok. walk it off" when all you want is some acknowledgement that this is stressful and painful and sucks the joy out of what should be a joyful experience. That's why we are being so hush hush. I just don't want anymore "aww I feel bad for you" responses. I am so thankful for this community.
@gipfish re: morning sickness, there was someone pregnant around the same time that I was and she was so sick and I remember she told me and I quote: "morning sickness is really good. it means my baby is going to be healthier than yours." Note: this person is not a friend, lest you guys think I am friends with total morons. Your post reminded me of that moment. I wanted to share that I relate to that feeling that your body is betraying you. What's hard about pregnancy is that you just don't know. It's such a loss of control.
@liz4382 I HATE those commercials. Also, add to the list tampon commercials
1. How far along are you today? How are you feeling? 6 weeks 3 days. Excited, anxious, moody. I've been very moody the past few days. I think because I am always a little worried and because DH is away for training so it's just me and the dog at home lol.
2. Share any part of your loss history you feel comfortable sharing. What are your loss milestones? Big milestones for me will be the first ultrasound and 11 weeks. Last time at the first scan the baby should have been 10 weeks but the radiologist said 6 weeks 4 days live. I knew something was wrong but hoped that I was the one who was wrong and convinced myself to go with the flow. 1 week later I lost the baby at home.
3. How are you feeling today? Struggles? Successes? Today I feel pregnant. I love feeling the symptoms but it is very hard not having DH home and bc no one else knows yet.
4. How is your SO handling everything? SO is cautiously optimistic. He always encourages me to get lots of rest and drink lots of water. Last time he didn't get the fatigue thing but now I think he is a little more worried and wants me to get lots of rest. I have gained about 4 pounds bc I pretty much just chill when I get home from work - besides tring to get our house ready to rent out.
5. GTKY: Will you be starting a pregnancy baby book? I hadn't though about it... maybe later on, after the 1st trimes tee.
1. How far along are you today? How are you feeling?
Physically I still just have some digestive issues and waking a lot in the night. Emotionally my level of anxiety is rising the closer we get to my first appointment and scan on Tuesday. 2. Share any part of your loss history you feel comfortable sharing. What are your loss milestones?
I had a C/P in April 2016 and a missed m/c at 6w5d discovered at the 8 week u/s in early September 2016. 3. How are you feeling today? Struggles? Successes?
Feeling OK, just battling the negative thoughts and trying to replace them with positive visions of seeing the hb on Tuesday.
4. How is your SO handling everything?
Pretty well. He still tends to block things out a bit and act like this is not happening until it is "proven" by an ultrasound, but he has been so much better about listening to me when I need to talk about things.
5. GTKY: Will you be starting a pregnancy baby book?
Probably not. I didn't do it for my first two.
DD- 9
DS-6
c/p- April 2016
missed m/c- 6w5d; discovered 8w2d- September 2016
Ugh ladies. I was so curious when I would start to "feel pregnant" and I am learning to be careful what you wish for. Constant nausea now (6w2d) and traveling on planes is not a pleasant feeling at all. Grateful to be pregnant, and hoping this is a good sign...but not enjoying it at the moment.
@dragonfly87 I've got a 13 hour flight coming up... (it is in two legs though) and I've got enough nausea that I'm worried how the flight will go. I've stocked up on pretzles sour patch kids and MS drops, so hopefully that will do the trick. I haven't thrown up at all yet, but we will see how I feel on the plane. I've been nauseous for weeks, it's just been getting worse. I don't mind it, I'm just a bit worried at how my flight will go.
*tw* I didn't know where I should post this but I figured this thread was ok. I started spotting a little today. My mind has completely gone to a bad place and I cannot let it go. This is exactly how my miscarriage began. We did have sex this morning, but I can't let myself think that's why I'm spitting even though it could be.
Me 29 I Him 26 Married 4/22/16
TTC 9/2015 **TW** BFP 2/1/16 I MC 3/21/16 (11w) TTCAL 6/15/16 BFP 3/23/2017 Team pink! Quinn Leigh EDD December 1, 2017
How far along are you today? How are you feeling? I'm pretty normal. More NERVOUS and SCARED than anything. According to these apps I'm like 6 weeks and some change. So far I've only had bloodwork done and hcg was good and progesterone level was excellent according to OB. I wish so bad I had all the pregnancy symptoms, but I don't. I think I actually make them up to feel better about myself, so I can't even tell if the nausea is real or if I'm making myself feel that way. They are slight waves of nausea, nothing unbearable. When I was pregnant with my 3 year old son, I had no symptoms whatsoever!
2. Share any part of your loss history you feel comfortable sharing. What are your loss milestones? last year, June I had a silent miscarriage around what would have been 10 weeks but OB never told me about measurements and so forth like some of you ladies are mentioning, which makes me wonder why I was not told info like that. She just said baby stopped growing. then in October, chemical. 3. How are you feeling today? Struggles? Successes? today, I'm ok, same as mentioned above, scared as fuck, excuse my language. My first vaginal ultrasound is April 10th! 4. How is your SO handling everything? he's not an emotional person ever, so we don't really even talk about it. I honestly just told him I was pregnant and he was happy. But I don't talk about it, just avoiding getting attached and avoiding excitement. 5. GTKY: Will you be starting a pregnancy baby book Haven't even thought about that yet. Just want a healthy baby and everything to go well. Last thing on my mind is a book
@ktcakes87 you are on my mind. Hope all is fine and it's just normal first tri spotting, but I know how terrifying any blood can be. PGAL anxiety is terrible too. Please keep us updated! Sending prayers your way
@Perfectypo: I have thrown up a few times now, on the plane and now on our way home. After throwing up there is a temporary relief, but not for long. I feel miserable.
@dragonfly87 ugh... that sucks! Not fun. Did you make it to the bathroom or did you have to use one of the barf bags? I have no idea of I should run for the bathroom or keep a stash of the bags Hope you feel a bit better at home once the traveling is fine.
@ktcakes87 thinking of you. I've spotted a few times during this pregnancy and I totally understand those feelings. For me it's been after a lot of activity. I hope it stops for you asap.
April Siggy Challenge: April Showers
About me:
29 y/o Married 6.26.11 BFP 12.23.13, EDD 9.2.14 - baby girl, born too soon at 22w6d due to a placental abruption on 5.5.14 BFP 8.4.14, EDD 4.15.15 - rainbow son, born at 30w4d due to a placental abruption on 2.8.15, healthy 3 y/o now! BFP 2.28.17, EDD 11.8.17 - baby girl, miscarried at 11 weeks on 4.21.17 BFP 11.28.17, EDD 8.8.18, delivering in July - another rainbow baby boy!
@dragonfly87 I'm totally one of those people. I am weirdly excited for you the symptoms kicked in? Even though I know rationally that people experience pregnancy in all different ways and no two pregnancies are the same even for the same woman! But hang in there. Bagels are your friend As is seltzer water.
Also yum sour patch kids.
@ktcakes87 do not succumb! I've had spotting already too. It's fairly common. As someone w a history, can you reach out to your dr to go in and see how things are progressing? They got me in there really quick when they heard about the spotting. And everything looked fine even though there really wasn't much to see, they could confirm that bleed wasn't from anything serious. My dr. explained that sometimes it can even be blood that's hanging around from implantation a few weeks back.
@Perfectypo definitely didn't make it to the bathroom and there were no bags in the back of the seats. Thankfully, DH had just purchased somethings in the store, so I emptied that bag. I quickly learned though...dry heaving and vomiting once your stomach is empty is very, very painful. Once I started, I continued for the next 6 hours. Fortunately, I just went to bed when I got home and DH bought me some sour patch kids. Its 4:45am now and my sleep schedule is all screwed up.
@rms924 I am trying to see this as a silver lining that thibgs are going well...but damn that was miserable. Given how sudden and intense everything was, I hope it wasn't food poisoning or something. I was mildly nauseous in the morning. But the extreme vomiting didn't start until after I ate lunch. There was some feta cheese in the my salad, but the waitress said it was pasteurized. So I am probably just paranoid now.
@dragonfly87 I totally get paranoid too so I recently looked at all of the CDC warnings about food contamination- haven't seen anything for feta. It actually doesn't happen to frequently, but it's random stuff like spinach and cantaloupe. I wouldn't worry!
So I am a huge fitness person and I've always been mindful of how much I eat and in my last pregnancy I literally gained 25 lbs in first tri due to nausea. I am not a tall person. You have to keep you stomach full in order to keep it at bay and it was the only thing I can do to function. I still felt it but if I got too hungry or didn't eat anything "solid" I would be dry heaving for hours. So that's why I lived on bagels & cream cheese. I remember my dr wasn't worried- he said to do what I gotta do to keep going and keep fluids down. And then when I had ds, I was able to bounce back, so no harm. Soup really helps too. Grilled cheese. Hugs. Hang in there!!
@rms924 thanks for the info! I also ate spinach in my salad...but I am just going to stop thinking about those things lol
I have really only been eating soup, salad and bread for the past week because of nausea and no appetite. So I probably need more solids in my diet. But nothing is appealing right now! Ugh.
@dragonfly87 OMG didn't mean to freak you out. Nothing recent- you are fine! I love that widget. and the CDC.
My dr from last time made it sound like the most important thing was to stay hydrated- are you finding a way to do that? This time I have no symptoms so I can only go by what got me through my first 15 weeks in my last pregnancy. You know how everyone has one super hated symptom? Like my mom can't deal w a headache. That's her kryptonite. Mine is nausea so I was doing everything possible to keep it minimized. I may have been more sensitive to it
ALso, are you finding a way to keep your prenatals down ? Yogurt could be a good thing for calming the stomach, even if it's just for a little while. And taking them before bed w dinner. I totally get where you are- hang in there!
@rms924 lol no worries. I am sure it wasn't food related. I think the sudden intense onset just caught me off guard. I have managed to drink a decent amount of water, so that helps. Also, prenatals stay down, so that's good. I may try the yogurt suggestion, I usually eat Greek yogurt. Thank you for the tips!
@ktcakes87 How are you doing? How's the spitting? FWIW, I always spot after sex when pregnant. Always. We actually haven't had sex yet this pregnancy because I know I will spiral to a dark place if I see the spotting that I 100% know will come.
@dragonfly87 - One of my most embarrassing moments ever was on a flight when I was early pregnant with my first. During take off, I had to, quite literally, jump over the guy on the aisle and sprint to the bathroom - all while the plane was still at a super angle. I opened the bathroom door and couldn't make it any longer. Threw up from ceiling to floor. They had to put an out of order sign on the bathroom even after I cleaned it up as best I could.
Hugs to all of the PGAL ladies. It has been a rough week on our board with losses and I know it has triggered me. I had major anxiety Friday night. Just remember, for better or worse, there isn't much we can do if something goes wrong... so we can choose to be positive and fight the negative thoughts or we can go to that dark place. I had to talk with DH to let him know where my mind was wandering and he's checking in more.
It's funny how it's the little things in life that mean the most...not where you live, or what you drive, or the price tag on your clothes... There's no dollar sign on a piece of mind, this I've come to know! *ZBB*
Thanks ladies. It's just so hard because like I said, this is how everything happened for me before so it's hard not to freak out.
@kissthesky32 The spotting seems to be gone now. When you would spot after sex would it be right away or later? Mine didn't happen until about 8 hours later.
Me 29 I Him 26 Married 4/22/16
TTC 9/2015 **TW** BFP 2/1/16 I MC 3/21/16 (11w) TTCAL 6/15/16 BFP 3/23/2017 Team pink! Quinn Leigh EDD December 1, 2017
@ktcakes87 I'm glad! It's hard to be PGAL. Spotting can be totally normal, but when a heartbreaking loss starts with spotting, it's hard to see it as anything but bad. Tomorrow is my loss milestone, so I have been obsessively checking my toilet paper like a crazy person.
Re: PGAL Check-in Week of 3/28-4/3
@NYTino24 This may be a UO on TB, but I absolutely loathe that post of "chances of not MCing" that's been floating around the BMBs the last couple years. (If it's the same one that was up in Aug and Nov 16). Mostly because it is most definitely NOT from a scientific source. I traced it back to a random blog post by someone who ran an astrophysics/space blog. She got pregnant and was feeling anxious, so she read three abstracts of scientific papers to make that table. For non-scientists, reading only an abstract of a paper is like reading a 1 paragraph summary of a huge novel and drawing conclusions about characters, plots, and details. There are a lot of assumptions and discussion of what results actually mean that cannot be found in an abstract alone. That table gets propagated around TB, and I think too many women put too much stock into the exact numbers for each day. While I applaud the general principle (that your risk of MC goes down with each day you don't have a problem), I think it provides too much false security and detail. Second, that drop in MC chance only applies if everything is developing normally - which no one can know before an ultrasound. The best we can say is that after 7/8 weeks and a heartbeat is detected, that your risk drops significantly, and that overall, everyone's chances of things turning out OK are much better than not. In summary, I hate putting numbers on it because 1) the numbers are BS, and 2) the numbers can be painful for women on the losing side of those stats.
9 weeks 2 days - feeling alright... I have an U/S tomorrow and am very nervous that things aren't going to be okay. We saw a heartbeat at my last U/S 2 weeks ago. I heard the heartbeat with my fetal doppler right at 9 weeks, it was faint and I couldn't get the bpm, but I did hear it.. Still makes me so anxious
1. How far along are you today? How are you feeling? 6+3. I still feel good. I've been having some food aversions and little bits of nausea here and there. Though I can't tell if it's baby or if it's because I am so, so sick of all of the Whole30 food. Today is day 30, though! I'm so pumped for a bagel tomorrow morning.
2. Share any part of your loss history you feel comfortable sharing. What are your loss milestones? 3 losses. 2 CPs and one NMC in January at 7 weeks. This Saturday (6+5) is when everything started going wrong with my last pregnancy, so I'm really looking forward to getting past that day and getting my ultrasound next week.
3. How are you feeling today? Struggles? Successes? I'm good. I'm trying my best to remember that today I am pregnant. I have no reason to believe that things aren't going perfectly, so I'm trying my hardest to just be optimistic.
4. How is your SO handling everything? He's fine. Though he'll be traveling to a Zika hot spot soon (can't get out of it), so if something goes wrong with this pregnancy, we'll be benched for half a year, which I'm pissed about.
5. GTKY: Will you be starting a pregnancy baby book? Nope. All I want are a couple cute family pictures when I have a big bump.
@RiverSong15 I just wanted to agree with you about the numbers being hurtful to those who suffer losses. It wasn't statistics, but morning sickness that I was putting my hopes in. With DD I had MS so bad there were many days I couldn't function at all, and people kept telling me that I couldn't complain about it because it meant the baby was healthy. Then with my next pregnancy, as I had my head in the toilet at work feeling sorry for the innocent woman in the stall next to me, I kept thinking, at least the baby's healthy. It wasn't. And then I felt betrayed, like my body had lied to me. But it wasn't my body that lied, it was that "rule" that everyone kept spouting off. But it stung badly. And here I am on my third pregnancy, having not puked once, and everything is developing exactly as it should be.
You can't put your trust in statistics, but you can trust that God is always good no matter what the outcome.
@gipfish I really don't mean to offend, but I like to leave religion out of my miscarriage. One of the most offensive things I've heard was that it was "all in God's plan" or that "God never gives you more than you can handle." No good came from it.
I can't imagine what women with repeated or late miscarriages and stillbirths have gone through. We are all in this together.
TTC 9/2016 BFP 12/9/16 EDD 8/21/17 NMC 1/8/16 at 7w6d
TTC 2/2017 BFP 3/6/17 EDD 11/17/17 DS born 11/25/17 via ECS
TTC 12/2018 BFP 6/2/19 EDD 2/12/20 NMC / BO at 7 weeks, low progesterone
TTC 7/2019 BFP 8/21/19 EDD 4/22/20 CP at 5 weeks
TTC 8/19 IUI #1 w/ Clomid + Ovidrel + progesterone BFN, IUI 2 and 3 w/ Letrozole + Ovidrel + progesterone,
IUI 4 Follistim + Ovidrel + progesterone BFP 1/9/20 EDD 9/18/20
AMA, ITP in pregnancy, vWD type II - low Factor VIII, unexplained RPL and secondary infertility
TTC 9/2016 BFP 12/9/16 EDD 8/21/17 NMC 1/8/16 at 7w6d
TTC 2/2017 BFP 3/6/17 EDD 11/17/17 DS born 11/25/17 via ECS
TTC 12/2018 BFP 6/2/19 EDD 2/12/20 NMC / BO at 7 weeks, low progesterone
TTC 7/2019 BFP 8/21/19 EDD 4/22/20 CP at 5 weeks
TTC 8/19 IUI #1 w/ Clomid + Ovidrel + progesterone BFN, IUI 2 and 3 w/ Letrozole + Ovidrel + progesterone,
IUI 4 Follistim + Ovidrel + progesterone BFP 1/9/20 EDD 9/18/20
AMA, ITP in pregnancy, vWD type II - low Factor VIII, unexplained RPL and secondary infertility
TTC 9/2016 BFP 12/9/16 EDD 8/21/17 NMC 1/8/16 at 7w6d
TTC 2/2017 BFP 3/6/17 EDD 11/17/17 DS born 11/25/17 via ECS
TTC 12/2018 BFP 6/2/19 EDD 2/12/20 NMC / BO at 7 weeks, low progesterone
TTC 7/2019 BFP 8/21/19 EDD 4/22/20 CP at 5 weeks
TTC 8/19 IUI #1 w/ Clomid + Ovidrel + progesterone BFN, IUI 2 and 3 w/ Letrozole + Ovidrel + progesterone,
IUI 4 Follistim + Ovidrel + progesterone BFP 1/9/20 EDD 9/18/20
AMA, ITP in pregnancy, vWD type II - low Factor VIII, unexplained RPL and secondary infertility
Semi-related--I hate that Clearblue commercial where the women are so excited about their positive tests--celebrating not just with their partners, but with their parents, friends, grandparents, telling their other kids they're going to have a sibling...I'm not saying anyone should hide their pregnancy, it's just hard to watch because i can't have that innocent excitement anymore. Of course I try to be positive and think the best, but even after first tri I'm going to feel very guarded. I think it's feelings like that people who haven't experienced loss just don't understand. That commercial comes on Hulu all the time and it still makes me cry sometimes.
I have had a few people tell me that God has a plan for me and while I can understand how it wouldn't be helpful for some, it honestly doesn't bother me and did bring me some comfort. I think people just look at life and religion in different ways, and that's ok. One of the people who said that to me was the ER nurse--she cried with me and hugged me after the doctor told me there was no heartbeat. I still think about how sweet and caring she was--it meant so much on that awful day.
There's someone that's been talking about their SIL being carefree and I feel like I never was like that. Even with my first pregnancy that resulted in DS. Maybe I knew too much about the biology? I don't know. I am kind of envious. Now after losses (and for a while I thought this one was heading in that direction), I am so far away from carefree.
Also, I am sorry you had that experience @RiverSong15. Also, the reaction is kind of bizarre but to each their own...
@NYTino24 I've told exactly two people about prior losses and luckily haven't heard the "it's all in god's plan." It's not that it rubs me the wrong way from a religion perspective, but that I feel like that response is not empathetic. It's minimizing the experience "you'll be ok. walk it off" when all you want is some acknowledgement that this is stressful and painful and sucks the joy out of what should be a joyful experience. That's why we are being so hush hush. I just don't want anymore "aww I feel bad for you" responses. I am so thankful for this community.
@gipfish re: morning sickness, there was someone pregnant around the same time that I was and she was so sick and I remember she told me and I quote: "morning sickness is really good. it means my baby is going to be healthier than yours." Note: this person is not a friend, lest you guys think I am friends with total morons. Your post reminded me of that moment. I wanted to share that I relate to that feeling that your body is betraying you. What's hard about pregnancy is that you just don't know. It's such a loss of control.
@liz4382 I HATE those commercials. Also, add to the list tampon commercials
DS: 18 months
Dx DOR AMH .2
<a href="http://www.thebump.com/?utm_source=ticker&utm_medium=HTML&utm_campaign=tickers" title="Pregnancy"><img
6 weeks 3 days. Excited, anxious, moody. I've been very moody the past few days. I think because I am always a little worried and because DH is away for training so it's just me and the dog at home lol.
2. Share any part of your loss history you feel comfortable sharing. What are your loss milestones?
Big milestones for me will be the first ultrasound and 11 weeks. Last time at the first scan the baby should have been 10 weeks but the radiologist said 6 weeks 4 days live. I knew something was wrong but hoped that I was the one who was wrong and convinced myself to go with the flow. 1 week later I lost the baby at home.
3. How are you feeling today? Struggles? Successes?
Today I feel pregnant. I love feeling the symptoms but it is very hard not having DH home and bc no one else knows yet.
4. How is your SO handling everything?
SO is cautiously optimistic. He always encourages me to get lots of rest and drink lots of water. Last time he didn't get the fatigue thing but now I think he is a little more worried and wants me to get lots of rest. I have gained about 4 pounds bc I pretty much just chill when I get home from work - besides tring to get our house ready to rent out.
5. GTKY: Will you be starting a pregnancy baby book?
I hadn't though about it... maybe later on, after the 1st trimes tee.
Physically I still just have some digestive issues and waking a lot in the night. Emotionally my level of anxiety is rising the closer we get to my first appointment and scan on Tuesday.
2. Share any part of your loss history you feel comfortable sharing. What are your loss milestones?
I had a C/P in April 2016 and a missed m/c at 6w5d discovered at the 8 week u/s in early September 2016.
3. How are you feeling today? Struggles? Successes?
Feeling OK, just battling the negative thoughts and trying to replace them with positive visions of seeing the hb on Tuesday.
4. How is your SO handling everything?
Pretty well. He still tends to block things out a bit and act like this is not happening until it is "proven" by an ultrasound, but he has been so much better about listening to me when I need to talk about things.
5. GTKY: Will you be starting a pregnancy baby book?
Probably not. I didn't do it for my first two.
DD- 9
DS-6
c/p- April 2016
missed m/c- 6w5d; discovered 8w2d- September 2016
Married 4/22/16
**TW**
BFP 2/1/16 I MC 3/21/16 (11w)
TTCAL 6/15/16
BFP 3/23/2017 Team pink! Quinn Leigh EDD December 1, 2017
I'm pretty normal. More NERVOUS and SCARED than anything. According to these apps I'm like 6 weeks and some change. So far I've only had bloodwork done and hcg was good and progesterone level was excellent according to OB. I wish so bad I had all the pregnancy symptoms, but I don't. I think I actually make them up to feel better about myself, so I can't even tell if the nausea is real or if I'm making myself feel that way. They are slight waves of nausea, nothing unbearable. When I was pregnant with my 3 year old son, I had no symptoms whatsoever!
2. Share any part of your loss history you feel comfortable sharing. What are your loss milestones?
last year, June I had a silent miscarriage around what would have been 10 weeks but OB never
told me about measurements and so forth like some of you ladies are mentioning, which makes me wonder why I was not told info like that. She just said baby stopped growing.
then in October, chemical.
3. How are you feeling today? Struggles? Successes?
today, I'm ok, same as mentioned above, scared as fuck, excuse my language. My first vaginal ultrasound is April 10th!
4. How is your SO handling everything?
he's not an emotional person ever, so we don't really even talk about it. I honestly just told him I was pregnant and he was happy. But I don't talk about it, just avoiding getting attached and avoiding excitement.
5. GTKY: Will you be starting a pregnancy baby book
Haven't even thought about that yet. Just want a healthy baby and everything to go well. Last thing on my mind is a book
About me:
Married 6.26.11
BFP 12.23.13, EDD 9.2.14 - baby girl, born too soon at 22w6d due to a placental abruption on 5.5.14
BFP 8.4.14, EDD 4.15.15 - rainbow son, born at 30w4d due to a placental abruption on 2.8.15, healthy 3 y/o now!
BFP 2.28.17, EDD 11.8.17 - baby girl, miscarried at 11 weeks on 4.21.17
BFP 11.28.17, EDD 8.8.18, delivering in July - another rainbow baby boy!
Also yum sour patch kids.
@ktcakes87 do not succumb! I've had spotting already too. It's fairly common. As someone w a history, can you reach out to your dr to go in and see how things are progressing? They got me in there really quick when they heard about the spotting. And everything looked fine even though there really wasn't much to see, they could confirm that bleed wasn't from anything serious. My dr. explained that sometimes it can even be blood that's hanging around from implantation a few weeks back.
DS: 18 months
Dx DOR AMH .2
<a href="http://www.thebump.com/?utm_source=ticker&utm_medium=HTML&utm_campaign=tickers" title="Pregnancy"><img
@rms924 I am trying to see this as a silver lining that thibgs are going well...but damn that was miserable.
Given how sudden and intense everything was, I hope it wasn't food poisoning or something. I was mildly nauseous in the morning. But the extreme vomiting didn't start until after I ate lunch. There was some feta cheese in the my salad, but the waitress said it was pasteurized. So I am probably just paranoid now.
So I am a huge fitness person and I've always been mindful of how much I eat and in my last pregnancy I literally gained 25 lbs in first tri due to nausea. I am not a tall person. You have to keep you stomach full in order to keep it at bay and it was the only thing I can do to function. I still felt it but if I got too hungry or didn't eat anything "solid" I would be dry heaving for hours. So that's why I lived on bagels & cream cheese. I remember my dr wasn't worried- he said to do what I gotta do to keep going and keep fluids down. And then when I had ds, I was able to bounce back, so no harm. Soup really helps too. Grilled cheese. Hugs. Hang in there!!
Also, here's the CDC website: https://www.cdc.gov/foodsafety/
There's a widget on the right hand side- I think that was what I was looking at. I Hope this helps!
DS: 18 months
Dx DOR AMH .2
<a href="http://www.thebump.com/?utm_source=ticker&utm_medium=HTML&utm_campaign=tickers" title="Pregnancy"><img
I have really only been eating soup, salad and bread for the past week because of nausea and no appetite. So I probably need more solids in my diet. But nothing is appealing right now! Ugh.
My dr from last time made it sound like the most important thing was to stay hydrated- are you finding a way to do that? This time I have no symptoms so I can only go by what got me through my first 15 weeks in my last pregnancy. You know how everyone has one super hated symptom? Like my mom can't deal w a headache. That's her kryptonite. Mine is nausea so I was doing everything possible to keep it minimized. I may have been more sensitive to it
ALso, are you finding a way to keep your prenatals down ? Yogurt could be a good thing for calming the stomach, even if it's just for a little while. And taking them before bed w dinner. I totally get where you are- hang in there!
DS: 18 months
Dx DOR AMH .2
<a href="http://www.thebump.com/?utm_source=ticker&utm_medium=HTML&utm_campaign=tickers" title="Pregnancy"><img
@dragonfly87 - One of my most embarrassing moments ever was on a flight when I was early pregnant with my first. During take off, I had to, quite literally, jump over the guy on the aisle and sprint to the bathroom - all while the plane was still at a super angle. I opened the bathroom door and couldn't make it any longer. Threw up from ceiling to floor. They had to put an out of order sign on the bathroom even after I cleaned it up as best I could.
TTC 9/2016 BFP 12/9/16 EDD 8/21/17 NMC 1/8/16 at 7w6d
TTC 2/2017 BFP 3/6/17 EDD 11/17/17 DS born 11/25/17 via ECS
TTC 12/2018 BFP 6/2/19 EDD 2/12/20 NMC / BO at 7 weeks, low progesterone
TTC 7/2019 BFP 8/21/19 EDD 4/22/20 CP at 5 weeks
TTC 8/19 IUI #1 w/ Clomid + Ovidrel + progesterone BFN, IUI 2 and 3 w/ Letrozole + Ovidrel + progesterone,
IUI 4 Follistim + Ovidrel + progesterone BFP 1/9/20 EDD 9/18/20
AMA, ITP in pregnancy, vWD type II - low Factor VIII, unexplained RPL and secondary infertility
@kissthesky32 The spotting seems to be gone now. When you would spot after sex would it be right away or later? Mine didn't happen until about 8 hours later.
Married 4/22/16
**TW**
BFP 2/1/16 I MC 3/21/16 (11w)
TTCAL 6/15/16
BFP 3/23/2017 Team pink! Quinn Leigh EDD December 1, 2017
Married 4/22/16
**TW**
BFP 2/1/16 I MC 3/21/16 (11w)
TTCAL 6/15/16
BFP 3/23/2017 Team pink! Quinn Leigh EDD December 1, 2017