Welcome to the November Club!

m6agua · March 2017

Hello from November 2016 BMB! We are so excited for you all and having a November baby is great. We really wanted to put something together to say welcome to the November club and congratulations. We each came up with some things we learned along the way, things we wish people would've told us, and just general advice for pregnancy and new babies. Most of us are FTMs so the comments are probably more geared toward those of you whom are FTMs as well. Feel free to pop over to November 2016 to say hi. Once again, congrats to all of you and we hope you have a happy and healthy 9 months!

@m6agua @kristah2 @desoky01 @SandNStarsNJ @kvruns @jsmai @anne11716 @lajoliedreamer @MrsMaryK2016 @leighry

Pregnancy

Try and enjoy your pregnancy as much as you can. I know it’s easier said than done. The anxiety struggle is real though. Just enjoy the journey and don't forget to take time to do things for yourself.
Embrace your new body as much as you can while it changes. Take pictures along the way, even if you feel like a big fat whale towards the end of pregnancy. Do your best to ignore people who comment on the shape of your belly whether they think it's too small too big too high or too low. It's just right and none of their damn business anyway.
You get used to strangers reaching up your hoohah. Works well if you have a rotation of Drs at your practice, and even better if there at Med students observing, because in the hospital all bets are off on how many people will see you on display.
Embrace maternity clothes! Better to be comfortable than worry about how long you can stay in your regular clothes.
You know your body best, trust your instinct. You are your best advocate in your healthcare. Don't every let anyone (medical professional, spouse, family/friends/strangers) make you feel stupid or inconvenient for asking questions or wanting an extra u/s to make sure everything is okay.

Birth / Labor / Hospital

Try to be open minded. Pregnancy and birth plans may not always go exactly how you hoped (i.e. needing a c-section, medication, etc). Making sure the baby is healthy and happy is the most important thing. Unless it is an absolute emergency, any decision can wait 15 minutes. Send everyone out of the room but those you want there and make a decision you feel confident in, even if it isn't what was on your birth plan.
Pelvic exams don't usually tell you how likely/soon you will go into labor, but they might help you know how soon to head to the hospital.
Every pregnancy/labor/birth is different, yours might not look/feel the same as someone else's and that's ok! It is ok if you don't have the movie scene emotional moment after your baby is born. Sometimes your emotions take a little while to catch up, especially after an intense experience like labor.
Depends are a pretty awesome post labor alternative to what the hospital provides.
Take lots of pictures of you and the baby in the hospital - even if you think you look bad. You will regret not having these.
Pack as sleep mask in your hospital bag. The rooms are never completely dark at night and are glaringly bright during the day. The mask was a lifesaver for H and me so we could better nap during the day and sleep at night. Also pack slippers with grip’s on the bottom so you don’t have to wear theirs.

Post-Partum

If you end up with a c-section, don't be a hero - take your pain pills on time and until the prescription runs out!
You will celebrate poop (your own and your LO's) like you've never celebrated poop before! Colace is your friend, start taking it regularly immediately after birth and don't stop for at least two weeks after.
Make sure you take care of you! You can sometimes find an entire day has gone by and you've had all of a handful of goldfish crackers. Stay well hydrated (almost excessively) and keep finger snacks handy.
If you're one of those lucky women who fits in her pre-pregnancy jeans 4 weeks PP, please do the rest of us all a favor and don't brag about it! Just enjoy your miracle metabolism privately while the rest of us work on our remaining 10 pounds, you lucky lucky girl.
Conversely, if you're still lugging around 10 extra pounds 4 months PP remember to be nice to yourself. A negative inner narrative doesn't help you and it's not fair to beat yourself up over it. Remember, that girl who insists on posting a picture on FB in her bikini with her one month old is not normal.

Baby / PP

Don't let anyone make you feel wrong in whatever choice you make in regards to feeding baby. You can sometimes be your own worst critic if your feeding plans don't go exactly how you thought they would. Lactation consultants and websites are amazing resources. There is no wrong way or ONE WAY to feed baby. A fed baby is best. Don’t let others make you feel guilty for how you choose to feed your baby, in addition don’t judge other moms on how they choose to feed their babies. Moms are the worst at this.
Babies are new to the world and are learning how to do everything, you are also learning how to do everything. Cut yourself some slack. You are a great mama and will do the best you can for your LO.
All babies are so different. Don't let your know it all family member or friend make you question yourself. You know your baby better than anyone!
Your baby might not like half the things you buy him/her. Don't buy everything until you figure out what they need!
Sometimes you might have to let others know what you need for support, and what isn't working. I had to tell people to stop telling me that time will go fast, or to enjoy the time when my son is little because it only lasts so long because it gave me panic attacks. Stand up for you and your little one to get what you need.
The first six weeks with a new baby can be amazing and challenging. Enjoy them but also accept that sleep and showers may be sparse.
Control how you want the holidays spent with a new baby. If you're not comfortable going to large parties or having tons of people around right away, communicate with your SO. Make a new tradition or just alter the old ones for your newborn year.
Never feel bad about turning down company. There are days where you want it to just be you and baby without people trucking in and out of the house (even if they come bearing gifts or food.. they can always leave the food on your front steps ;-).) And don't worry about the laundry. It will get done eventually! Enjoy the newborn time as much as you can.
Make sure you're being a good teammate with your partner. If H swaddles baby differently or burps baby differently or sings him the wrong songs it's okay! Be supportive and let him figure it out his way.
Breastmilk cures everything!