I know this is old but I thought reviving was better than starting a new one? Sorry if that was wrong!
I keep hoping my baby comes a week early so we can go to Thanksgiving (it's my FAVORITE). Selfish mom, party of one.
(We probably won't go no matter what because germs. DH and I usually get sick when we go too because the little kids are awful at hygiene so I wouldn't even feel comfortable bringing baby. Just wish we could go!)
@DuchessOfCambridge not bad at all! Nothing wrong with having a secret "wish" for when baby comes because ultimately you know you have no control over it, like gender, it's fine to have a hope lol
mine is that baby comes a little late so I can wear something funny for Halloween and NOT be obligated to go anywhere for thanksgiving. My in-laws still think if he comes in late October we're driving to Alabama for thanksgiving, and no I don't wanna.
@DuchessOfCambridge I want my baby a week early too so I can enjoy Thanksgiving. This baby is due two days after, but I did go at 39 weeks with ds Soo I am hopeful. I'm just glad most of our family will be out of town so I don't have to worry about all the germs. Plus then I don't miss any college classes since it'll be Thanksgiving break. So selfish but man that would be convenient if it came right then. But I will just be happy to have my baby whenever they decide to come!
I'm hoping for one day before my due date (11/6) because that was my grandmother's birthday. Or like, a couple weeks early. I'd rather not be pregnant on Halloween, although I'm sure it's inevitable.
So, I know that I can't control anything that will happen with labor and delivery and recovery as well but:
A friend of mine just had a baby. She's not good friends with the majority of my closer group of friends but many of them know her. She had an all natural delivery (which she did say was the hardest day of her life) and looks amazing, and her recovery is going great. I feel as though that has set an expectation for me and that I will be judged (by friends, not her) if I have to use medication or have a harder time recovering. No one would ever say this to me, of course.
I do not resent her at all, I am so happy her birth experience and recovery have been positive. I resent myself for thinking this and society for being so judgy about pregnancy/birth/parenting in general that I now feel this way. Anddd maybe resent my bff a little because when I told her this friend had set high expectations she said "I know, she's so perfect, no one can live up to her." Maybe not the thing to say to a pregnant woman who just told you how she's feeling?
@DuchessOfCambridge I know pregnancy and L&D are a huge part of our lives and thoughts right now. But, honestly, I don't think anyone IRL really truly cares what methods/medications/etc someone uses to give birth. Yes, there are internet crazies who will tell you that X way is the best and everything else is harming mother/child/breastfeeding/bonding/whatever, but they really are just internet crazies. Your friends are going to care that you and baby are safe and healthy - I really doubt they're going to judge you based on your birth process.
I had DD 9 days before Thanksgiving. I am sorry to say, I pretty much missed Thanksgiving, I think I ate but I was not put together at all and I was simply exhausted and DD decided that was a good time to want to eat as well. I want this baby to come early like the others so it's not so close to DDs birthday.
I am praying my baby comes late. I do not want an October baby at all there are a few reasons (some more rational than others) for this but that's how it is. Also I guess I don't care so much about the Thanksgiving thing because we celebrate in October here
I am due 2 days before thanksgiving and I hope I go a week or so early so I can hopefully make it. Being in the hospital on thanksgiving would be so unfortunate (not the worst thing but you know) at least if I'm in recovery DH and DD1 should be able to help with my instructions and help.
I never even considered being so pregnant for Halloween! With DD2 I was about 20 weeks and just went in a skeleton tee shirt with a baby skeleton at the belly and did sugar skull make up and flower crown. Maybe I'll do that again since I already have it all. My make up was on point. I'll have to try to pull up some pics when the season comes around!
@DuchessOfCambridge I totally felt the social pressures of that too. Not necessarily with the birth because there was a wide range of experiences in my circle, but definitely with recovery. Everyone around me was bouncing back, leading normal lives, and I was down for the count. I needed help a lot longer than any of them did and I was totally disappointed in myself for that.
But none of this came from any of them. It was totally judgment that I put on myself. Self care is going to be a lot more important to me this time. Do whatever you need to do to take care of you and baby, regardless of the expectations you feel from society, because like @kissthesky32 said, the people around you probably aren't actually worried about it.
@DuchessOfCambridge have any of your friends had babies? (Those you are worried about judging you). If not, they reallly have no business judging you or anyone for labor and recovery. And they will learn that quickly when they have babies of their own.
@DuchessOfCambridge I second what everyone else is saying. It is no one else's business how you give birth or how quickly you recover. Your birthing experience will be your own, just as your body, your relationship, and your family are your own. Pregnancy, birth, and motherhood put enough pressure on women. Don't allow imagined pressures to build in your head. I let that happen after DS was born, and I developed post partum depression and anxiety that I'm still working through.
@DuchessOfCambridge I totally felt the social pressures of that too. Not necessarily with the birth because there was a wide range of experiences in my circle, but definitely with recovery. Everyone around me was bouncing back, leading normal lives, and I was down for the count. I needed help a lot longer than any of them did and I was totally disappointed in myself for that.
But none of this came from any of them. It was totally judgment that I put on myself. Self care is going to be a lot more important to me this time. Do whatever you need to do to take care of you and baby, regardless of the expectations you feel from society, because like @kissthesky32 said, the people around you probably aren't actually worried about it.
I think this is something I need to watch out for. I recovered quickly and easily. I rarely remember feeling overwhelmed once we figured out nursing. But there's no guarantee it will go that way this time and I need to not be my own worst judge!
@DuchessOfCambridge a couple months after DS was born, I had a friend brag about her sister and how proud she was for going natural just like she did. On Facebook. It really bothered me (clearly, since I'm still remember it 4.5 years later) and don't think that's something people really have any business bragging about. But ultimately I was happy with how things went for us and it turned more into me judging her for saying that than me feeling judged. So basically, you have my blessing to judge anyone who dares judge you lol
Thanks everyone, you ladies are the best. Such a good perspective that I need to not care what others think and pressuring myself could be detrimental. And no, none of my close friends have had babies so you're right, they have no idea what anything is like!
@DuchessOfCambridge My first delivery I bounced back so fast and felt great pretty much as soon as I got out of the hospital. (I was just 19) Nearly 10 years later...My second was much worse and I didn't get to recover how I wanted to and it took much longer. It was really hard emotionally and also physically dealing with how different it was compared to my expectations. Try not to get into your own head too much because everyone and every pregnancy is different. If anyone read my birth story I had to move out of my house the day I went into labor. I was staying in a hotel room with DH both kids and dogs for 2-3 weeks (and then my MIL came and stayed in the same room for a week towards the end) So I spent my recovery ripping down my nursery, packing, moving our stuff to storage and house hunting all at once then moving back into a house. It was insanely difficult for my body but I had no choice, we had no family or anyone to help. I hope no one has to deal with the amount of stress and work I had when recovering.
@KLink15 I am sorry you are struggling too. I hope it goes away soon for you. I have been having rough days and am feeling similarly. Just know you aren't alone and I just keep telling myself that things will get better.
@angkay711 thanks, I do keep reminding myself it's all worth it, and feeling a few flutters yesterday helped. It took us almost 2 years to get pregnant and I think I idealized it during that time. I love that I can grumble here too that helps. Most of my family had pretty easy pregnancies so it's hard for them to understand. I so look forward to LOs arrival but days like today make me wish it was sooner. Ha
@KLink15 I feel like I've been lied to in regards to the wonders of pregnancy. There are no unicorns pooping flowers and rainbows over here. There is no wonderful glow and people are not nicer to me. I've been disappointed because I was so looking forward to pregnancy and enjoying every second.
I went shopping today and I completely spoilt myself. I feel kind of guilty , but not nearly as much as I should. I bought myself 5 dresses (none of them maternity but they all will look good with a bump I think)
@DuchessOfCambridge When my friends who've attempted an unmediated birth but have ended up medicated/section, I really feel for them. I dont have even an ounce of "i did it, why couldn't you?" Like my friend who was at a 9.5 for 4 hours before getting her epidural - I NEVER would make it that long!!! I feel like she's so much stronger than me, and it's so unfair that her story doesn't reflect that to people who are close-minded about natural birth. Whether or not you go unmedicated is NOT an accurate reflection of your strength!
@klink15 I have definitely felt like that during every pregnancy. Each time, I've had MS until 15-20weeks, and almost immediately when that has subsided, another awful symptom has started (back pain, SPD pain, etc) and not subsided until I give birth, with the additional discomforts that come with being huge at the end. And I always go to atleast 41 weeks. I've NEVER had the magical 2nd trimester that is supposedly free of most pregnancy discomforts. False advertising!!
My wedding anniversary is early November and I am due November 20th. All I am hoping is that I go somewhere between my anniversary and thanksgiving. Preferably somewhere in the teens. Of course baby comes when baby comes. So we'll see!
@DuchessOfCambridge I agree with what's been said so far. Honestly, if anyone says anything judgey about how ANYONE delivers their baby, they need to shove it! And if they're thinking anything judgey, who the heck cares?! No negativity allowed when a baby comes out of your body!
@MississippiCatfish On that note, when they asked me if I wanted a mirror while she was crowning I immediately refused. Like no way, never. Luckily none of the gruesome parts made it on film.
2 women in a mom's group I'm in were told boy at a 15-16w u/s and found out at their anatomy scan it was a girl. Not going to lie, I have a hint of hope. Even though our ultrasound was pretty definite.
I thought I felt baby move, like not just little flutters, but something bigger and then I realized it was just gas and I kept telling myself not to fart because I wanted it to be baby moving and not gas...
Re: Pregnant girl confessions
Dating: 10/23/2013
Married: 6/13/2014
TTC since June 2016
BFP #1: 3/2/17 - MC 5/22/17
Dating: 10/23/2013
Married: 6/13/2014
TTC since June 2016
BFP #1: 3/2/17 - MC 5/22/17
Ive also told DH similar things about eating the last of something. I'm just being honest with him lol
I keep hoping my baby comes a week early so we can go to Thanksgiving (it's my FAVORITE). Selfish mom, party of one.
(We probably won't go no matter what because germs. DH and I usually get sick when we go too because the little kids are awful at hygiene so I wouldn't even feel comfortable bringing baby. Just wish we could go!)
mine is that baby comes a little late so I can wear something funny for Halloween and NOT be obligated to go anywhere for thanksgiving. My in-laws still think if he comes in late October we're driving to Alabama for thanksgiving, and no I don't wanna.
Sidenote: can't wait to start a pregnant Halloween costume ideas thread! My friend really wants me to be April the Giraffe LOL
A friend of mine just had a baby. She's not good friends with the majority of my closer group of friends but many of them know her. She had an all natural delivery (which she did say was the hardest day of her life) and looks amazing, and her recovery is going great. I feel as though that has set an expectation for me and that I will be judged (by friends, not her) if I have to use medication or have a harder time recovering. No one would ever say this to me, of course.
I do not resent her at all, I am so happy her birth experience and recovery have been positive. I resent myself for thinking this and society for being so judgy about pregnancy/birth/parenting in general that I now feel this way. Anddd maybe resent my bff a little because when I told her this friend had set high expectations she said "I know, she's so perfect, no one can live up to her." Maybe not the thing to say to a pregnant woman who just told you how she's feeling?
Also I guess I don't care so much about the Thanksgiving thing because we celebrate in October here
I never even considered being so pregnant for Halloween! With DD2 I was about 20 weeks and just went in a skeleton tee shirt with a baby skeleton at the belly and did sugar skull make up and flower crown. Maybe I'll do that again since I already have it all. My make up was on point. I'll have to try to pull up some pics when the season comes around!
But none of this came from any of them. It was totally judgment that I put on myself. Self care is going to be a lot more important to me this time. Do whatever you need to do to take care of you and baby, regardless of the expectations you feel from society, because like @kissthesky32 said, the people around you probably aren't actually worried about it.
@DuchessOfCambridge a couple months after DS was born, I had a friend brag about her sister and how proud she was for going natural just like she did. On Facebook. It really bothered me (clearly, since I'm still remember it 4.5 years later) and don't think that's something people really have any business bragging about. But ultimately I was happy with how things went for us and it turned more into me judging her for saying that than me feeling judged. So basically, you have my blessing to judge anyone who dares judge you lol
If anyone read my birth story I had to move out of my house the day I went into labor. I was staying in a hotel room with DH both kids and dogs for 2-3 weeks (and then my MIL came and stayed in the same room for a week towards the end) So I spent my recovery ripping down my nursery, packing, moving our stuff to storage and house hunting all at once then moving back into a house. It was insanely difficult for my body but I had no choice, we had no family or anyone to help. I hope no one has to deal with the amount of stress and work I had when recovering.
I went shopping today and I completely spoilt myself. I feel kind of guilty , but not nearly as much as I should. I bought myself 5 dresses (none of them maternity but they all will look good with a bump I think)
@klink15 I have definitely felt like that during every pregnancy. Each time, I've had MS until 15-20weeks, and almost immediately when that has subsided, another awful symptom has started (back pain, SPD pain, etc) and not subsided until I give birth, with the additional discomforts that come with being huge at the end. And I always go to atleast 41 weeks. I've NEVER had the magical 2nd trimester that is supposedly free of most pregnancy discomforts. False advertising!!
@DuchessOfCambridge I agree with what's been said so far. Honestly, if anyone says anything judgey about how ANYONE delivers their baby, they need to shove it! And if they're thinking anything judgey, who the heck cares?! No negativity allowed when a baby comes out of your body!