@Wearmi1, when you get out of the military, you need to make sure you file a claim for PTSD.
I don't doubt it. The issues with Adeline are scary and I think it's very likely it could've caused PTSD, but I assume you already have it based on your military experience.
My H was a medic over there and was on mortuary duty the second time around, the things he has seen...it's indescribable. My PTSD stems from sexual assault/harassment by my sergeants, as the only female in an all male unit.
I am another one on the board that has PTSD from a severe abuse incident from my mom. She beat me so badly that I had to go to the ER. There is a lot more to that story. I am in constant therapy to combat it.
I am not sure who said it but I totally agree with the R word. To me, it is equivalent to using the N word. You just DON'T do it.
UO jumping off of this: I have an issue with safe shoot up places for heroine addicts. I know that studies show it reduces STDS, death etc but part of me just thinks it is wrong. Like we are okaying this behavior. Sometimes I think there isn't enough accountability in our world.
Whoa. Had no idea this was a thing.
Me: 36; DH: 38 DD: 7; DS1: 4; DS2 due 6-21-17! **TW** MMC & D&C Aug 2016
I am another one on the board that has PTSD from a severe abuse incident from my mom. She beat me so badly that I had to go to the ER. There is a lot more to that story. I am in constant therapy to combat it.
I am so sorry you dealt with this. It makes my heart hurt so bad when I see that the person(s) that is supposed to love you the most could do this to you. It just simply should never happen and my heart goes out to you. xoxo
Me: 36; DH: 38 DD: 7; DS1: 4; DS2 due 6-21-17! **TW** MMC & D&C Aug 2016
In a way, it turned out for the best, for my daughter (and soon to be son) at least. I was so terrified of becoming a mother because I was afraid I would turn out like my mother (my grandmother is exactly like my mom) and do the same thing to my daughter. But, through therapy and and a huge family of support, I realize that I have the power to break the cycle, and I am absolutely determined to be the best mom to my kids.
My mom kept saying when I was pregnant with DD3, "One day you will understand and you won't think I'm that bad." I think it was an attempt for her to try to manipulate me in a sick way to think/convince me I was like her. It couldn't be further from the truth. After having my child, I can't imagine ever treating her the way my mom has treated me all of these years.
In a way, it turned out for the best, for my daughter (and soon to be son) at least. I was so terrified of becoming a mother because I was afraid I would turn out like my mother (my grandmother is exactly like my mom) and do the same thing to my daughter. But, through therapy and and a huge family of support, I realize that I have the power to break the cycle, and I am absolutely determined to be the best mom to my kids.
My mom kept saying when I was pregnant with DD3, "One day you will understand and you won't think I'm that bad." I think it was an attempt for her to try to manipulate me in a sick way to think/convince me I was like her. It couldn't be further from the truth. After having my child, I can't imagine ever treating her the way my mom has treated me all of these years.
So much this. I have a horrible relationship with my mother and I was terrified to gave kids because of it but once my first was born everything changed and I felt so powerful- I can and will break the cycle
On the circus is fine and fun mentality. Watch Blackfish. Changed my entire outlook. On prostitution, I think legalizing, providing legitimate income and benefits as they do in Amsterdam, is the way to go.
On the circus is fine and fun mentality. Watch Blackfish. Changed my entire outlook. On prostitution, I think legalizing, providing legitimate income and benefits as they do in Amsterdam, is the way to go.
Girl, where have you been? I feel like you haven't been around much. Everything good?
Blackfish is an amazing documentary and the book Beneath the Surface is even better. Never going to SeaWorld! Whales are sentient and should not be in captivity. The same can be said for elephants and possibly other animals.
MC Sept 2010 BFP Oct 2011 - DD born July 2012 TTC again since July 2014 First IUI 9/26/16: BFP! EDD 6/19/2017 It's a girl!
Born 6/26/17, 9lb 5oz
UO jumping off of this: I have an issue with safe shoot up places for heroine addicts. I know that studies show it reduces STDS, death etc but part of me just thinks it is wrong. Like we are okaying this behavior. Sometimes I think there isn't enough accountability in our world.
Whoa. Had no idea this was a thing.
I agree with safe places. Drug addiction is a mental illness just like the others we are discussing on this thread but it is much more stigmatized. The main issue is there are not nearly enough treatment options for addicts and its a huge epidemic in some cities. Safe places are at least a start to get them the help and if they go to these places they are at least starting to look for help.
My quick opinions from the ones I remember on the thread: I don't really like camping, but I like the outdoors. I love musicals & Queen, @BellaO21, and you should give them another chance haha. I've never been to the circus and probably won't go. I'm pro-choice and I think @berg has the right idea about prostitution. I am sorry and my thoughts are with anyone who has PTSD, etc. Luxury cars are a waste unless you get a good deal then by all means get one! I agree with @meilay that kids should not have their own electronic devices (ipad, etc). I don't remember the rest, but I think I agreed with most of the majority on most of the issues. Good UO this week!
I agree @danijo here in Kentucky the heroin issue is a full blown epidemic. There were something like 132 overdoses calls in 3 days last week. We are all mothers and it isn't that many years away (look out how young many addicts are) that one of us could be the mother of an addict. I would absolutely agree with a space safe being provided here if it meant saving lives.
This was a great thread to come back to. Finally real issues instead of the "I hope I have girl" this time BS I took a break from.
On legalizing mj, why not? People smoke it anyway. If it leads to them doing other drugs, thats on them IMO. I hated it in college so I stopped. I have friends that loved it and still do and lead successful lives. I also have friends that got caught up and aren't as successful but I'm not blaming mj for that.
On abortion - I'm pro-life by faith in that I believe that human life is conceived at conception. I however am a libertarian/moderate by policy and don't believe that gov't should have more rights over our bodies than we do ourselves.
On prostitution - I think its freaking gross but, pretty much in line with my overall views, people will be people. Arresting someone for having consensual sex for money isn't really where I want to focus my tax dollars --- although I think taxation should be considered theft anyway (see above political stance.)
\
DS #1 born 05/25/2012 BFP#2: 06/12/2013 ---- loss DS #2 born 4/08/2014 BPF#4: 2/1/2016 --- 2/23/2016 suspected molar pregnancy--- 3/15/2016 D&E - diagnosis MM BFP#5 - 9/22/2016 * formally bornmommy
@Allybiery I saw that too and went looking for it to post here before I saw your post. Safety is the issue, but not for cis girls. Transgender girls with male parts are not going to hurt your daughters in the bathroom/locker room, they just want to get in and out without being noticed. Teenaged boys, however, especially in groups and away from the eyes of adults, could be cruel or violent to a person with male parts who dresses and acts like a girl.
@Allybiery I saw that too and went looking for it to post here before I saw your post. Safety is the issue, but not for cis girls. Transgender girls with male parts are not going to hurt your daughters in the bathroom/locker room, they just want to get in and out without being noticed. Teenaged boys, however, especially in groups and away from the eyes of adults, could be cruel or violent to a person with male parts who dresses and acts like a girl.
It's not the transgender girl with male parts most people are worried about. Teenage boys are assholes and you can not tell them what gender they identify with, so that means any boy can use the girl's locker room. This privilege will be abused. What about the girl that has been abused or the girl with serious body issues, now they have to change with no privacy.
I really feel there should be a safe place for all students. It's hard being a teen. Hormones are a ragin. I get being transgender has to be so confusing and hard, but that doesn't negate the struggles of others. All teens need to be protected.
I have a hard time imagining a teenage boy choosing to walk into a girls room claiming to be trans if he is not. People dont typically pretend to be trans. Is it possible, definitly. I just am not sure that is likely. For me personally I would rather let the students choose what works for them. Exposure to differences in their daily life at a young age normalizes the experience. I would prefer my child to grow up thinking this is normal and not something that requires segregation.
@Wino0920 do you actually know any transgender teens? All of the transgender individuals that I have met who are protected by the ability to use the bathroom of the sex with which they identify are living in their day to day life as that sex. Some of them you may not know were born male unless you makes them before they transistioned. Not a random boy who wants to sneak into the girls locker room. The random boys still would, can, do get punished for being in the wrong locker room. I don't know of many teens who are willing to start living as a different sex just to gain access to that locker room.
@Wino0920 do you actually know any transgender teens? All of the transgender individuals that I have met who are protected by the ability to use the bathroom of the sex with which they identify are living in their day to day life as that sex. Some of them you may not know were born male unless you makes them before they transistioned. Not a random boy who wants to sneak into the girls locker room. The random boys still would, can, do get punished for being in the wrong locker room. I don't know of many teens who are willing to start living as a different sex just to gain access to that locker room.
I don't think that's the point others were making. I think that the concern is some smart ass teenage boy who wants to be difficult one day and says he fits the bill just so he can walk in the other locker room to catch a peek. I'm thinking of the Brock Turner type of teenager.
Yea I feel like everyone is missing the point I am making.. I do know transgender children and I do know teenage boys. Teenage boys are immature and a-holes, they will absolutely abuse this, to get a shot of some tits, come on!! I've heard of it happening. I actually had no problems with the bathroom situation until this was brought to my attention.
People think this is so lack and white and they are not considering all factors and all people.
I was was a teenage girl with raging hormones and a prankster. I would have totally used the opportunity to have some fun, not thinking of who it effected. I did that a lot as a teenager. And I had strict as parents and went a catholic school. Boundaries were meant for me to break!!
And s addressing the "you have to look the part" bull! That's discrimination, you can't tell a transgender what they have to look like and what they have to dress like to actually be a transgender.
Adding my two cents, I was raised Catholic, attended an all-girls high school, and continue to describe myself as Pro-Life. But to me, being pro-life is so much more than making abortion illegal. It's ensuring that women have education and options BEFORE they are pregnant. Sex Ed and access to birth control are just the beginning, so when prolife groups try to defund or obliterate these resources, I just don't understand. If women aren't pregnant, they won't get abortions!
I am also vehemently opposed to the death penalty and it drives me NUTS that many of the same people who claim to respect life are in full support. You want to do something about murder rates? Improve child care options and public schools, enforce strict gun laws (if it were up to me, no one would have guns, but I realize this is unrealistic so I see strict laws as me "compromising"), and decriminalize non violent drug offenses. The death penalty does nothing for reducing crimes and study after study supports this. #soapbox #socialworker #catholicsocialjustice
I don't really care about marijuana legal legalization except that, like someone mentioned above, there isn't right now a way to test definitively if someone is currently high, just has used marijuana within the last few days (maybe weeks, I'm not sure). My main concern is for road safety and police being able to crack down on driving while high. Somebody smoking in their home has no impact on me, and I don't care about that, but it impacts me when they get on the road, so I wish that would have been sorted out before it was legalized.
I agree the bathroom situation and pretty much all social issues arent black and white. And I agree there are probably some ass holes out there that would try to use this as a joke. However I have a hard time accepting the boys will be boys argument. While I agree things should be done to protect from abusing the right, we should be doing something to combat rape culture. Its 2017, boys will be accountable for their actions. Edit to add: I know this us easier said than done. And agree not black and white and probably needs to be handled case by case.
@ellie111227, I'm not concerned about people driving while high as much as I am about people driving intoxicated or under the influence of pills or other drugs. Marijuana is the least of my concerns of impairment.
When I worked for a defense law firm, the bulk of our cases were drug busts along the major interstate. We had a case where the state patrol claimed they pulled the driver over for swerving (he was driving an RV on a particularly windy day) and potentially driving under the influence. Anyway, long story short, we hired a scientist to determine the effects of marijuana while driving and the effects were minimal. The guy's case was thrown out due to the scientist's testimony and he was never charged for the hundreds of pounds of marijuana he had.
Now that's not to say that four teenage boys in a car who just got high cannot cause an accident, but I'd be hard pressed to say it was solely due to being high and not other distractions.
And my boys will be raised to think nothing of this. They will be taught to treat everyone with respect. I know just cause that's how they are raised, they can still do as they want, but I will try my damnest!
I have never in over 10 years of working with youth met a single male adolescent who would be willing to say he was a girl (outside of maybe drama class, but really not even there) for even just a second, even if it could potentially get him some free nudity. All the young men I've known care entirely too much, often in damaging and dangerous ways, about protecting their masculinity and what they define as manhood which is often rooted in patriarchal stereotypes and the belief that girls/women are weak and less than, therefore they vehemently oppose any behaviors or identifiers that could potentially associate them with being feminine. It's definitely a complicated issue and all children deserve to be protected, but some are significantly further away from being safe than others and I think that's where the focus should be.
Re: Unpopular Opinions 2/23
I don't doubt it. The issues with Adeline are scary and I think it's very likely it could've caused PTSD, but I assume you already have it based on your military experience.
My H was a medic over there and was on mortuary duty the second time around, the things he has seen...it's indescribable. My PTSD stems from sexual assault/harassment by my sergeants, as the only female in an all male unit.
I am not sure who said it but I totally agree with the R word. To me, it is equivalent to using the N word. You just DON'T do it.
Me: 36; DH: 38
DD: 7; DS1: 4; DS2 due 6-21-17!
**TW**
MMC & D&C Aug 2016
Me: 36; DH: 38
DD: 7; DS1: 4; DS2 due 6-21-17!
**TW**
MMC & D&C Aug 2016
In a way, it turned out for the best, for my daughter (and soon to be son) at least. I was so terrified of becoming a mother because I was afraid I would turn out like my mother (my grandmother is exactly like my mom) and do the same thing to my daughter. But, through therapy and and a huge family of support, I realize that I have the power to break the cycle, and I am absolutely determined to be the best mom to my kids.
My mom kept saying when I was pregnant with DD3, "One day you will understand and you won't think I'm that bad." I think it was an attempt for her to try to manipulate me in a sick way to think/convince me I was like her. It couldn't be further from the truth. After having my child, I can't imagine ever treating her the way my mom has treated me all of these years.
On prostitution, I think legalizing, providing legitimate income and benefits as they do in Amsterdam, is the way to go.
BFP Oct 2011 - DD born July 2012
TTC again since July 2014
First IUI 9/26/16: BFP!
EDD 6/19/2017
It's a girl!
Born 6/26/17, 9lb 5oz
My quick opinions from the ones I remember on the thread:
I don't really like camping, but I like the outdoors. I love musicals & Queen, @BellaO21, and you should give them another chance haha. I've never been to the circus and probably won't go. I'm pro-choice and I think @berg has the right idea about prostitution. I am sorry and my thoughts are with anyone who has PTSD, etc. Luxury cars are a waste unless you get a good deal then by all means get one! I agree with @meilay that kids should not have their own electronic devices (ipad, etc). I don't remember the rest, but I think I agreed with most of the majority on most of the issues.
Good UO this week!
On legalizing mj, why not? People smoke it anyway. If it leads to them doing other drugs, thats on them IMO. I hated it in college so I stopped. I have friends that loved it and still do and lead successful lives. I also have friends that got caught up and aren't as successful but I'm not blaming mj for that.
On abortion - I'm pro-life by faith in that I believe that human life is conceived at conception. I however am a libertarian/moderate by policy and don't believe that gov't should have more rights over our bodies than we do ourselves.
On prostitution - I think its freaking gross but, pretty much in line with my overall views, people will be people. Arresting someone for having consensual sex for money isn't really where I want to focus my tax dollars --- although I think taxation should be considered theft anyway (see above political stance.)
DS #1 born 05/25/2012
BFP#2: 06/12/2013 ---- loss
DS #2 born 4/08/2014
BPF#4: 2/1/2016 --- 2/23/2016 suspected molar pregnancy--- 3/15/2016 D&E - diagnosis MM
BFP#5 - 9/22/2016
* formally bornmommy
I really feel there should be a safe place for all students. It's hard being a teen. Hormones are a ragin. I get being transgender has to be so confusing and hard, but that doesn't negate the struggles of others. All teens need to be protected.
For me personally I would rather let the students choose what works for them. Exposure to differences in their daily life at a young age normalizes the experience. I would prefer my child to grow up thinking this is normal and not something that requires segregation.
Due June 25 2017
People think this is so lack and white and they are not considering all factors and all people.
I was was a teenage girl with raging hormones and a prankster. I would have totally used the opportunity to have some fun, not thinking of who it effected. I did that a lot as a teenager. And I had strict as parents and went a catholic school. Boundaries were meant for me to break!!
And s addressing the "you have to look the part" bull! That's discrimination, you can't tell a transgender what they have to look like and what they have to dress like to actually be a transgender.
I am also vehemently opposed to the death penalty and it drives me NUTS that many of the same people who claim to respect life are in full support. You want to do something about murder rates? Improve child care options and public schools, enforce strict gun laws (if it were up to me, no one would have guns, but I realize this is unrealistic so I see strict laws as me "compromising"), and decriminalize non violent drug offenses. The death penalty does nothing for reducing crimes and study after study supports this. #soapbox #socialworker #catholicsocialjustice
Edit to add: I know this us easier said than done. And agree not black and white and probably needs to be handled case by case.
When I worked for a defense law firm, the bulk of our cases were drug busts along the major interstate. We had a case where the state patrol claimed they pulled the driver over for swerving (he was driving an RV on a particularly windy day) and potentially driving under the influence. Anyway, long story short, we hired a scientist to determine the effects of marijuana while driving and the effects were minimal. The guy's case was thrown out due to the scientist's testimony and he was never charged for the hundreds of pounds of marijuana he had.
Now that's not to say that four teenage boys in a car who just got high cannot cause an accident, but I'd be hard pressed to say it was solely due to being high and not other distractions.