July 2017 Moms

Weekend Randoms

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Re: Weekend Randoms

  • We are having a quietness weekend at home this week but need to go into work tomorrow for a few hours before my hair appt. I'm so freaking frustrated with everything trump this week I could scream. 
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  • @mj8215 we did build this country, you and I are as much a part of this country as the next person no matter what anyone says. As a Japanese American Im aware of how easily your loyalty can be questioned because of where you're from or what you look like. If it's not "well, you're practically white" it's "but where are you FROM?" I cannot believe we are facing another racist and hateful executive order, and a wall to do what? Paid for by whom? These are all the same arguments for Japanese American internment during WW2 and against Chinese immigration in the late 1800s/early 1900s. How far have we really come? 

    if if you don't mind me asking and you totally don't have to answer because doxxing, did you and your mother leave Iran? I grew up in a part of LA with a big Persian community and a lot of friends are pointing out the parallels - it's heartbreaking and maddening. 
  • Uggggh @theweevee.  My mil doesn't do the planning thing but she will call me up and say the most passive aggressive stuff.  I couldn't tell if she was just thoughtless or like you said it was some sort of game.  So, I quit speaking to her on the phone.  I text periodically.  I just had to tell dh I wasn't going to put her in a position to be able to speak to me like that.  He understands, thankfully.
    Omg same!! I'm constantly trying, so hard mind you, to give her the benifit of the doubt but nobody can be this dumb/thoughtless?!?!?! Everything my MIL says to me is passive aggressive. To the point to where I don't even know what to say/how to respond when we are face to face. I normally don't say much at all. 
  • edited January 2017
    @lovelee85 The thing that bugs me is DH in the past feels like I'm "so mean" but if it had been my Mom talking to me that way I would have been actually mean.  When I did speak to his Mom on the phone I never really said what I wanted to, I just changed the subject.  She called a couple times and said some really BSC stuff and the second time I was like "that's end of that, sorry dh."

    I realize distance and her not ever having visited us makes not speaking possible, and that for most not speaking to their MIL wouldn't work though.  And my hearts goes out to those ladies, because the struggle is real.
  • Slight AW, but I went out for a dinner date with my husband last night and the waitress noticed I was pregnant. I'm not sure if she heard me talking about the baby moving or if she actually noticed the bump and realized I was pregnant not just gloriously fat, but it made me way too happy. 
    Hubby and Me
    Friends since 2008
    Started dating: July 1st, 2013
    Engaged: July 1st, 2014
    Married: July 1st, 2016
    R born: July 8th, 2017
    N born: June 30th, 2019
    Baby #3 Due: July 7th, 2022
    (maybe I only ovulate in October XD)
  • DcwtadaDcwtada member
    edited January 2017
    @mj8215 I truly feel for you it is becoming a scary world, especially for anyone with immediate roots outside of the US or even looks "different" for that matter. I remember when learning about the holocaust being so glad I lived in a country incapable of such atrocities until I learned about the Japanese internment camps (which they skipped over in high school). Further delving into our history's dealing with minorities coupled with research like the milgram experiment and the Harvard prison study made me realize just what an illusion that was, and this was 10-15 years ago. Everything in the past week has made me so fearful for women and minorities. 

    My husband is half Mexican and because he looks Italian and is a professional/ successful he is often subject to hearing racist comments since people don't realize his hertiage. My beautiful little daughter looks every bit Latina as if she was 100% and not 25%. Seeing the vitriol of so many people I know and have grown up with makes me even more nervous for her and her treatment. The worst is when I get comments like 'don't worry she's not THAT kind of Mexican' (wow...) and other hurtful "assurances" that I realize just what a scary place our world is becoming and we are only a week into this new intolerance. I remember the worst thing I ever heard though was from my husband, when we found out we were having a girl he said he hoped she didn't look like him. 
  • @caribbeanmama One of my best friends in the entire world is from one of the Caribbean islands and her parents are trying to get citizenship here right now. I'm terrified for them and I feel helpless. I have never supported this man and he's proving my fears true. He is truly the worst thing to ever happen to this country. 
  • @caribbeanmama I agree that burying your hand in the sand isn't going to help the actual problem, but sometimes things are truly too stressful for you to handle at a certain time and you need to walk away from it. Especially being pregnant, I don't need the added stress of watching all of this go down and surrounding myself in the negativity, so I've removed myself from it until I'm in a better place and can handle it. I've had to put me and my family and my unborn baby first. Just adding my thoughts and saying sometimes its ok to play ostrich. If you're too stressed to handle it anyways, there isn't much you can do to help, and you're only going to hurt yourself and you're family. If you think getting involved in that fundraiser might help you feel better though, go for it. 
    Hubby and Me
    Friends since 2008
    Started dating: July 1st, 2013
    Engaged: July 1st, 2014
    Married: July 1st, 2016
    R born: July 8th, 2017
    N born: June 30th, 2019
    Baby #3 Due: July 7th, 2022
    (maybe I only ovulate in October XD)
  • @caribbeanmama
    Even if you did stop watching the news, you still wouldn't be able to disconnect from it. It's all over the internet, on facebook, on the radio, and everyone's talking about it. I'm not even American and I couldn't avoid the news if I wanted to. I am so sorry for everyone who feels like they are being targeted, I never thought I'd ever see something like this in my lifetime happen in North America. There was a peaceful protest at Peace Arch border crossing today, my work colleague took a picture of it when she was driving back home. It's inspiring and gives me hope when I see people standing up to this administration. I'm glad to see protests at the airports and inspired by the lawyers who offered their services pro-bono to those who were detained. There are so many hateful, scared people out there. But I honestly believe that there are more that are good and willing to stand up when they see oppression. 
  • I personally, firmly believe that when human rights are in danger, silence is complicity - silence is siding with the oppressor. So I applaud your refusal to bury your head, @caribbeanmama
  • oheliza44 said:
    All- I needed these posts this weekend. Thank you everyone for sharing your stories and for notes of positivity. This past week has been an emotional struggle for which I was not prepared. I thought I mourned my candidate losing the election in November and had come to a place of hope that the new administration wouldn't act on their most heinous campaign promises. God was I wrong. I never expected a full on assault on everything that is central to my political worldview- human rights, reproductive rights, the environment... all in the first week, no less. I am simply devastated and at a loss for words.
    This is how I've been feeling, too.  I don't normally get too political (particularly with people I do not know), because I truly do not want to argue.  I know I am not going to convince anyone of my views, and I do not want to be insulted or belittled for my own.  I don't mind sharing why I have the views I have, but only if someone is genuinely interested - not to argue with anyone.  Seeing all that has happened this week has been so disheartening, I've needed to see that there are others who feel as I do, so together we can mourn the horror show that is our country right now.
  • I so appreciate everyone sharing their thoughts and perspectives - it is heartwarming.  At my university the head of government relations and law professor is giving a workshop for faculty on how best to advocate (be effective) given our particular disciplines.  I think this should be a good structured starting point for learning about our local efforts and getting involved.  @oheliza44 kudos to you for your direct efforts!  So inspiring!

    @kerils yes it's not good to stress ourselves out - I think it's time for me to dig up old relaxation techniques.  Getting the right balance is tough but so important!



  • just got notifications from this thread now that I'm at a desktop - so glad I came back to this thread! The whole thing is maddening and it's easy to spiral;  I can't help but feel like this ugly part of our country has always been there throughout our history and just continues to show up, so I love hearing about how people are getting involved to counter that. 

    @mj8215  thanks for sharing. I woke up the next morning mortified that I had put you on the spot. Also, Mila Kunis, too (I love her and love that she is so vocal about this) 
  • I personally, firmly believe that when human rights are in danger, silence is complicity - silence is siding with the oppressor. So I applaud your refusal to bury your head, @caribbeanmama
    YES. I cannot agree with this more. 
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