Update: Lost them--- Well, just waiting to M/C for the 3rd and 4th times.....

rainbowwishes5

hi, again. Again. Again. And again. I'm miscarrying my twins this week and just needed to stop in and just say it. Because I am in riddling amounts of pain. Emotionally. I've gone through this twice before so you'd think I'd be an expert! But it doesn't work like that and no one understands. It's so hard. Just had to vent.

ChocolateIsLife

Hey girl, thinking of you. When was your transfer? I thought it wasn't until the end of January but I feel like I have been so out of the loop lately. (This is Winnie81 fyi)

rainbowwishes5

@ChocolateIsLife it is on Tuesday so I expect to mark that as the day they die? But I won't know more until later. Thanks for checking in. I won't really get "confirmation" of when they die of course so Tuesday is the day they will die as far as I can memorialize it.

ChocolateIsLife

I am kind of confused so my apologies if you already discussed this in the IF thread, but did your doc say that the embryos aren't going to make it after your transfer this coming Tuesday? I don't understand how that equates to a miscarriage when the transfer hasn't even happened yet. I'm sorry I am not trying to sound insensitive, I just don't think it is an anyones best interest to assume a miscarriage. I know you have been through so much and can't imagine the pain from your previous losses.

rainbowwishes5

@ChocolateIsLife yes you are being insensitive. I don't know why you are coming on a miscarriage board to debate with me the semantics of my losses. I don't know how that is in anyone's best interests. Least of all mine. This board is supposed to be about support and you are really not being supportive. Please- just leave me to grieve.

rainbowwishes5

@ChocolateIsLife please stop trolling this miscarriage board 

ChocolateIsLife

I'm not trolling you. I went to your profile page to try and send you a PM to reach out since we are on the same FET month thread and saw this had been posted and was genuinely confused. Apologies.

jen83mn

@rainbowwishes5

I'm so sorry for your losses and can't even imagine the hurt you're going through. Sending you hugs ❤️

rainbowwishes5

Thank you @jen83mn

splashmountain

@rainbowwishes5 I'm sorry for your loss.

rainbowwishes5

Thank you @pumpkin0913

amu1234

Sorry for losses!

flowerintherain

Sorry for your losses sending prayers your way that your twins stay sticky. 

rainbowwishes5

Thank you @amu1234 and @flowerintherain

rainbowwishes5

Update- they are officially gone 

laurenjt808

I'm so sorry @rainbowwishes5.  I can't even imagine the pain you're going through. Being new to the community, I've found that sharing and letting it all out helps--I'm currently going through a miscarriage (my first pregnancy) and it's tough.  Sending warm thoughts and hugs your way.  

amu1234

Oh no @rainbowwishes5 I was so hopeful that maybe things would turn out ok. Sending you lots of hugs!

rainbowwishes5

Thanks @amu1234 my hgc is a 4.5 so..... They're gone

amu1234

I'm so sorry @rainbowwishes5 ! Sending you lots of hugs

rainbowwishes5

Thanks @amu1234 I'm still in the awkward phase of waiting for the bleeding to come. Ugh. I just want this over with already.

shellhostettler

I'm so sorry that you are going through that. I'm experiencing my first miscarriage. My first pregnancy was healthy (other than a breech baby) he is 14 months and healthy and happy. So I thought when I got pregnant again last month, that it would be the same. Healthy and great! However, the ultrasound shows no development of the baby. They told me I can wait to miscarry at home or go back in two weeks for a D&C. I'm currently in the "waiting to bleed" process as well and I also feel that I just want it to get over with. Partly so I can stop being in denial and move on. Never knew what women who had miscarriages experienced. I'm truly sorry for your loss. I hope you find peace and hope! 

rainbowwishes5

Thanks @shellhostettler !!! It's ridiculously sad to say but I hope we start bleeping soon! TMI but I'm starting to spot so hopefully soon this will be over with