Girls' night over until baby comes?

brooklynmama718

I'm the only one out of my friends that is pregnant. I went out last Saturday with one of my single friends and it felt awkward. Not only did I have my baby bump, but I felt a bit irresponsible going out on a rainy night (besides my DH and parents putting me on a guilt trip about my safety and the baby's). I got home by 10:30pm because I wasn't feeling up to staying out later. How have you ladies been coping? Any one have similar girls' night out experiences? 

LMMama

I don't feel like I'm endangering mine or my baby's safety by going out (even in the rain haha.) However, I'm definitely not up for it. For my best friend's 30th bday she wanted to go for drinks and dancing. She knew I wouldn't want to do either of those things after I got pregnant so we just went to dinner. And we were done at 9:30 and all I wanted to do was go to bed. 

I just tell myself this is not the time for late girls nights and going out times. I love those things. I love dressing up, and going out to happy hours,  and drinking bottles of wine at home til the early hours with my friends. And those times will come again once I have the baby and have adjusted to two kids. For now it's time to watch tv, and wear sweats, and sleep a lot. 

BellaO21

My best friends 30th was at the end of my 1st trimester... I planned this whole day out for her, including dinner at one of the jazz bars downtown. She & I both knew that I wasn't going to be up for the late night activities so we did manis/pedis and coffee beforehand.. then after dinner I left andshe partied with all the non-prego people lol.
I agree with @LMMama now is not the time, I get tired way to early for a girls night! There will be more once I've recovered from L&D and adjusted to having 2 kids! 

brooklynmama718

This is all new to me, especially at 38 years old. Sometimes it bothers me when DH gets to do things I used to do with him, like staying out later with friends. I'm all for equal rights, but he's not the pregnant one, I am! Sometimes it feels like I'm missing out!

momma2char

It wasn't a girls night out, but I went out to the movies last night with my mom and brother while DH was home with DD (she has a bad cold), and it's only the 2nd time I've been to the movies since she was born 15 months ago. The amount of dirty looks I got when I ordered my large popcorn and pop were surprising! I felt like I was being watched like a hawk by total strangers. I don't go out too often to treat myself and felt very uncomfortable, and it was only a movie theatre!

brooklynmama718

momma2char said:

It wasn't a girls night out, but I went out to the movies last night with my mom and brother while DH was home with DD (she has a bad cold), and it's only the 2nd time I've been to the movies since she was born 15 months ago. The amount of dirty looks I got when I ordered my large popcorn and pop were surprising! I felt like I was being watched like a hawk by total strangers. I don't go out too often to treat myself and felt very uncomfortable, and it was only a movie theatre!

That's terrible!! That's how I felt when I went to a late dinner in Manhattan on a rainy, Saturday night in a taxi!! I felt judged for sure! 

n0soup4u

Hmmmm I say enjoy it while you can despite the rain, etc. In a few months you won't be able to just up and go. 

silliegirlie143

I'm with @NYCProf about more than not feeling up to it, I feel a little jealous about not being able to do/enjoy things I used to love. 

Having a toddler at home had already made me more of a homebody so I have to make extra effort to meet up with my non-Mommy friends. 

jc_twomamas

I'm all about spending time with the people I love most so, 90% of the time, I don't pass up an opportunity with my girls! DH is always supportive of me having time to myself, as I am of him. Maybe you get tired earlier and don't feel like hanging so you cut it shorter than usual, but for me, life's too short in and of itself. Enjoy it all! Self care is just as important as anything else, especially as a mom. Just my .02. 

mkrel

I'm with @silliegirlie143 and @NYCProf. We were on vacation visiting friends last weekend, and while I was fine staying out a little late while everyone got drinks, I just found myself annoyed by everyone else drinking, the smell of alcohol, and a little jealous that I couldn't partake. 
My best friend's bachelorette party is in March and I have been planning it. There is a day of wine tasting involved and I'm super bummed about missing out and watching everyone else gets more buzzed/annoying as the day goes on. I'm usually up for anything, so I just find it disappointing that I feel this way. I do try my hardest not to be a downer because I'm pregnant though. 

NarrowHouses

I'm a homebody in general so I can relate on that level! 

I still like to go out with my friends at this point, though. DD is 3 so a night away can be nice. I'm tired now but I'll be tired and sleep deprived once baby comes, so it's just trading one tired for another to me! Also, I'm planning on breastfeeding which can tether you to home or baby.

I usually suggest a girls' night happy hour or brunch if I'm not feeling a late night. It's tough, and some friends understand better than others.

Bottom line, do what you need or want! 

Wino0920

I'm with @devow27! I love hanging with my girls. Sometimes I leave early and sometimes I am one of the last. 

And inwould never ever let judgy people stop me from doing what I love, that's their problem, not mine. 

kfry22

I say hang out with friends while you still can. I'm going to be a debby downer and say my husband and I lost two sets of friends before our son was born becuase I was pregnant. My other friends live at minimum three hours away. So, chances for me to hang out with friends are few and very far between. 

Just becuase you are pregnant doesn't mean you can't be out late at night or drive in the rain in the dark. Pregnancy should not make those things impossible or irresponsible. I understand it being different between non pregnant friends and someone who is pregnant, but not enough of a difference to avoid spending time with on another. 

Stankonia2014

Oh yeah, I have zero guilt about girls night. We all have kids, so it usually just consists of dinner and a movie or dinner and shopping, but I'd definitely enjoy it while you can. I need that time out to get away.

ladylolly89

I don't get many opportunities to go out due to DH's work schedule, but I definitely do girls' nights when I can. He can take care of DS just as well as I can. Most of my friends are either not married or don't have kids, so it's important that I make sure to spend time with them when I can. I don't want to alienate them just because I'm a married pregnant mom. 

merrylea

@NYCProf I get it. I'm in my later 30's, have many friends with no kids, and this will be a big lifestyle change for us. I would let the hubby know he need to cool on the guilt trips. Enjoy yourself now, and if you're not feeling it, you can go home.  I went on a weekend trip to CO early on. I was in the super tired stage, and I would just go back to the hotel early. I have a 4 day girls weekend in a few weeks, and expect to take it easy when I want to. Don't guilt yourself. Enjoy your me time now!

anitamargarita_82

I don't like to be out after dark without the hubs.  I made him go with me to the Seattle premium outlets last weekend after the Seahawks game because it's dark at 5 and I didn't want to be out alone... but I NEEDED to go to the Gymboree store 

jennas312

When I first was pregnant I went out until 3am on Halloween. Exhaustioooonnnn. Idk how I lasted so long. Girls stayed up when we got back to friend's house and I said good night and went upstairs to sleep on blow up mattress. 

A month ago it was her birthday and in the city so I convinced my husband to take me to the dinner and then we went home . The girls stayed out. Another husband was supposed to be at dinner, but he bailed. I can do dinner, but definitely done going to dance clubs or bars for a while. Kind of over it anyway. Dinners are more for me. I'll probably want a girls night a bit after baby comes, but not now.

DewyK

@Stankonia2014 - YES!

Zero guilts here. I need girl time, date night, and me time... pregnant or not!

MithK

@NYCProf personally i don't think you should be feeling guilt. I totally get the struggle between juggling the pregnancy and still wanting to have some element of a social life! I've maybe been pushing myself way too hard but I figure these girls nights out aren't going to be as simple once the little one comes along! Our lives shouldn't have to come to a total stand-still just coz we're having a baby. And it seems like you know when your body is tired and know when to call it a night. And I'm sure your friends understand enough as I'm sure they would rather be able to hang out with you even for a little bit, rather than not at all! Cut yourself some slack....staying at home and just counting down the days til bub comes out will drive you insane! 

Mtnmommy

I'm not opposed to girls' nights at this point, but it depends on what we are doing. Dinners and movies are more my speed anyway. I'll help myself to a dessert instead of a cocktail. And yes, I'll get my large popcorn and soda, and possibly candy at the movies. But the bars or clubs, no. First of all, I feel like a fossil there anyway. Second, it's not my scene anyway. Not preggo, I'd meet up for the occasional happy hour or glass of wine. 

mombod

Go out while you can. Also there is no time where I will think its irresponsible to go out in the dark, in the rain, or with my friends. 

acrose0226

I'm all about participating in social activities as long as I have the energy and stamina to do it. I don't mind being the only one not drinking, and sometimes it's amusing to watch all of our friends get tipsy. Sometimes if I don't feel up for a night out, I'll suggest an alternative -- brunch, going for a hike and then out for an early dinner, going to a movie, etc. There are a lot of options that don't involve late nights, loud crowds and alcohol. 

Elyse1384

Count me in on team "go out all you can now".  It is 10x easier to go out pregnant than once baby arrives.  That said... forget physically being pregnant, I just feel more old than anything which sometimes holds me back because I am flat out tired. Thanks kiddos for moving my pre-children bedtime from midnight/1am to 9/10pm.  I usually feel like that club scene form the movie Knocked Up.  Still, my belly bump is never the reason to not go out and anyone who side eyes me (or another pregnant woman) for having a good time in public with friends needs to reevaluate their own life.  Like maybe get one because life does not stop when children enter the mix (in womb our out).  

tjvan

mombod said:

Go out while you can. Also there is no time where I will think its irresponsible to go out in the dark, in the rain, or with my friends. 

Seconded!

onaed

Yes to girls night out, tho a prep-nap is typically needed!

sevenn

I just don't have the stamina, and I get irritated with intoxication if I can't join in (not really a pregnancy thing- lol). My girls have been great though and as long as it's a dinner I'm good gets me home and then they can stay out and drink more if they want. Definitely trying to get them in where I can!