AHHH All these ladies having their babies is getting me so excited to have mine!! I wish my due date was sooner... I don't want to wait until the end of March
Sorta random/sorta labor related/read with a grain of salt if you are leaning towards getting your cervix checked-but I found this article really great!
CERVICAL EXAMS: WHO NEEDS THEM?
Internal cervical exams….a rant. Okay, so I know I’m about to get a whole slew of doctors upset at me – but you know what? I’m big…I can take it.
Lets start at the beginning…not the beginning of the pregnancy, but the beginning of the debate over internal exams which starts at around 36-38 weeks of pregnancy. Usually I will have a client of mine ask me sometime between 36 and 38 weeks if we’re going to check her cervix to see what it’s doing.
My response is always – WHY?
That’s a bigger question than youprobably think. I’m not just asking why she wants to check as in, “what do you want to find outâ€â€¦.but I’m also asking why she wants to check as in, “why do you feel the need to know?â€
What do you want to find out? How far dilated you are? You’re 38 weeks…what does it matter? Oooohhhh… you hoping that someone (me) could tell you how much longer you will be pregnant? I BET YOU ARE!! That is the million dollar question, and one that I wish I could find out the answer to – because I would be one rich midwife if I could!! If I had been the Divine creator and designed our bodies, I would have put that belly button to use and make it glow bright green 24 hours before labor was going to begin! When will labor begin…yes, that’s an excellent question. How very unfortunate for all concerned that that is impossible to answer. I have seen women be not dilated or effaced at all and slip into labor and have their baby hours later. I have also seen women be 7cm dilated and not in labor!! That’s more of an extreme (in 15 years I’ve only seen 3 women do that), but it does go to show that where your cervix is TODAY has absolutely no bearing on what it’s going to do tomorrow.
Okay, so it won’t tell you when you will go into labor…but surely it will tell you how your labor will go! The further dilated you are now surely means that you will have a faster and easier birth? Again, how I wish that were the case…but, again, it sadly is not. Checking your cervix now does not tell us what it is going to do, it only tells us what it has done! You might get to 4cm with absolutely no extra pressure and feeling no vita mutari (if you don’t know what that means, please see my blog post titled “vita mutariâ€) – and then you might feel enormous vita mutari in order to birth your baby, and it might take many many hours!
Now lets address the reason you WON’T tell me when I ask you why you want an internal exam – but the reason that is almost always universally there….the need for reassurance that your body “worksâ€. If you are dilated, then it’s proof positive that your body knows what to do and is functional. As you probably have gathered by now, that’s just not the case.
So checking your cervix does not tell us: when you will go into labor, how fast your labor will be, or how easy or challenging your labor will be.
Ah, but checking your cervix prenatally DOES do SOMETHING!! It ruins the end of your pregnancy.
If you are not dilated yet, then that means you will begin doubting your body, feeling broken, doubting that this baby will “ever be bornâ€. Please be reassured, the longest human pregnancy ever recorded was not “foreverâ€. These moms who find out that they aren’t dilated leave my office discouraged, often looking beaten down and sad. What a terrible thing to feel when you are right on the cusp of having your baby! (Sometimes you’re only hours away from labor!) Your body has known how to conceive this baby, it has (without our assistance) been able to grow from a teeny tiny egg mixed with an even teenier sperm into an entire person!! A full grown baby with toes and hair and the cutest butt cheeks you’ll ever see!! It’s done this miraculous thing…and now, based on a stupid cervical check, you will lose a huge amount of faith in its ability to finish the job it started so perfectly? SHAME ON YOU! Your body is amazing, incredible, creating life! It deserves our utmost adoration…now is not the time to start doubting it! What has it done to deserve your skepticism of its perfection? Nothing…absolutely nothing!
If she is dilating…then celebration and feelings of accomplishment and she will then often run home and tell everyone that the baby is going to come at any moment! She quickly puts all of her affairs in order making sure everything is ready for the baby…and then she waits…. ….. ….. And she waits… And I see her at the office a week later…and she’s smiling….sort of. Why isn’t the baby here? And another week goes by (that’s a long time to hold your breath) and she’s still pregnant. It is only her estimated due date (which is a whole other blog post rant for me to tackle) and yet she FEELS 2 weeks late because she thought the baby was going to come 2 weeks ago when we did an internal exam on her. This is the mom that usually wants to start talking about inducing at home because her cervix is “favorable†and because she feels 2 weeks late.
@korpisar Tyler is so perfect!! Congratulations again. Crazy story for sure! I'm kind of annoyed they sent you home-you knew what your body was doing! But glad all ended up good and you have a healthy baby! And hurrah for being able to head home together in a few days!
@kjd291 thanks! It is so amazing what the body can do and what you know - I had some choice words on the way back to the hospital for sure! Now we are just concentrating on healing from the c section and nursing.
@kjd291 thanks! It is so amazing what the body can do and what you know - I had some choice words on the way back to the hospital for sure! Now we are just concentrating on healing from the c section and nursing.
Haha! I can only imagine-I'm sure I'd have a few choice words too!! Prayers for speeding healing from your CS
So today at my NST I was thinking I hope I do not go into labor on any of the days I have an appointment. I have 2 a week. I just don't want to get hooked up, them see contractions or just be obviously in labor, and then try to keep me. This is a really laid back, no pressure kind of hospital so my worries are probably unfounded but I just do not even want to have that conversation. I want to labor at home as long as humanly possible. I'm mentally pressuring her to kick off labor the night of my bday which is a Saturday lol I don't think I'm being too unreasonable
@Gators&BoSox I totally get it. I'm sort of superstitious so for the past month or so (since one time I WAS sent to the hospital right from the doctors office) I've been taking time to carefully pack our bags and put them in the car "just in case" when we go to appointments (my husband comes to all of them mainly just bc I can't drive anymore). Totally irrational but I feel like it's jinxing myself if I don't -- the same way people say if you don't bring an umbrella you're guaranteeing it will rain. I realize I am a crazy person.
39+3 today, spacefem.com stats say 40% chance of labor by tomorrow... no signs whatsoever of that happening though. Only request : I'd just really love to avoid MILs Birthday on the 18th...
@kjd291 *mother-in-law voice* But wouldn't that just be the BEST birthday present ever?!
Bahah. Spot on. This lady is a special snowflake. She already drives me nutty with how my DD is "HER baby", and her birth was clearly all about her without the birthday sharing thing. she acts like the world obviously revolves around her and it makes me cringe... I know if baby decides to come that day there will be nothing I can do about it--but for this little girls sake I hope her birthday doesn't have to be all about her grandmother for the rest of her life. ((And selfishly I don't want my delivery day to be made any more about her than she'll already make it out to be))
my mom has been annoying me lately regarding labor. she keeps telling me i'm going to have a long labor with this one too because all 6 of her labors were really long. 1) stop wishing long labor on me 2) just bc you have long labors doesn't mean i necessarily will 3) my labor was really long last time because i had to be induced and progress was slow 4) i'm specifically doing things this time around in hopes of shortening labor and you know that! how about some optimism?!
i hope i have a wicked short labor just so i never have to hear about it again lol
@Gators&BoSox what the heck!? Moms of all people should know to not talk like that to you when you're expecting. You Aregonna pop that kiddo out supah fast!
bahaha your "supah" made me laugh. generally my mom is great so i don't understand this weird labor stick up her ass... you remind me though, i need to ask my doc what she thinks is a good indicator of when to come in. we only live like 15 min away from the hospital and since i want to be home as long as possible and have never had a real labor i have no clue if i should do the 5-1-1 rule or 3-1-1 or just wing it. i don't want to arrive at the hospital with baby half way out haha
@Gators&BoSox right!? I'm shooting for somewhere between 24hr labor and car baby. Hah. It's so annoying that it seems like there is no way to really know!
My midwife said as a STM it's more about how you're feeling than the spacing of contractions. if I'm on the phone with her-she will listen to the timing info, but goes more on how you sound during a contractions--if they are still spaced out but you are really uncomfortable and having trouble talking through them--then it's time to go in.
I'm really hoping it'll be just be obvious when you no longer want to relax at home - and would feel more comfortable surrounded by medical professionals. But I guess time will tell!!
39+3 today, spacefem.com stats say 40% chance of labor by tomorrow... no signs whatsoever of that happening though. Only request : I'd just really love to avoid MILs Birthday on the 18th...
Ugh! With you on this. My son was born on May 25th and my MIL's birthday is the 17th. Every. Single. Time. I spoke with her it was all..."you tell that boy to come on May 17th since it's my birthday." Yep, got it. May 17th is your birthday. Thankfully my son decided to come on his due date and they don't have to share birthdays, but good lord I wouldn't hear the end of it if they did.
So today at my NST I was thinking I hope I do not go into labor on any of the days I have an appointment. I have 2 a week. I just don't want to get hooked up, them see contractions or just be obviously in labor, and then try to keep me. This is a really laid back, no pressure kind of hospital so my worries are probably unfounded but I just do not even want to have that conversation. I want to labor at home as long as humanly possible. I'm mentally pressuring her to kick off labor the night of my bday which is a Saturday lol I don't think I'm being too unreasonable
I know what you mean! Last pregnancy, I watched someone be wheeled from the doctor office straight to the hospital part (they are connected). As I was sitting in my appointment yesterday with a very high bp reading, I was just praying I would not be sent to L&D for monitoring. May have to keep my hospital bag in the car from now on (once I pack it that is! )
my mom has been annoying me lately regarding labor. she keeps telling me i'm going to have a long labor with this one too because all 6 of her labors were really long. 1) stop wishing long labor on me 2) just bc you have long labors doesn't mean i necessarily will 3) my labor was really long last time because i had to be induced and progress was slow 4) i'm specifically doing things this time around in hopes of shortening labor and you know that! how about some optimism?!
i hope i have a wicked short labor just so i never have to hear about it again lol
My mom does the same thing where she thinks that everything about my pregnancy will be exactly the same as hers. One of the reasons I really hoped this baby was a boy was because she was just 100% sure it was a girl because she had a girl first and I'm her daughter so there was no way I would have a boy first.
Omg @SienaC i just died laughing! It's so true... between mothers and MILs I need to start taking notes on all the annoying things not to do to my kids!
Looking for suggestions. I'm getting induced one week from today (blood clot issue, ugh!), and I'm sort of expecting a long labor. This is my first, and I see no signs of pre-labor to indicate a shorter induction. Anyhow, I know I won't be able to focus on much, but I do want some distractions. I was planning on bringing my laptop and using the hospital wireless to watch Netflix. I did that while in for the blood clot, and it worked fine.
To be honest, I don't watch that much TV normally. I have no idea what to watch. If you wanted distracting viewing, what would be on your playlist? Mostly clean and not super violent, but entertaining movies or TV series. Ideas?
I saw the first couple of episodes of that, and it was funny. Totally forgot about it. Glad to hear it stayed good, thanks! I want to watch This is Us, but it's off limits until I'm no longer hormonal. The crying got ugly. :-)
Looking for suggestions. I'm getting induced one week from today (blood clot issue, ugh!), and I'm sort of expecting a long labor. This is my first, and I see no signs of pre-labor to indicate a shorter induction. Anyhow, I know I won't be able to focus on much, but I do want some distractions. I was planning on bringing my laptop and using the hospital wireless to watch Netflix. I did that while in for the blood clot, and it worked fine.
To be honest, I don't watch that much TV normally. I have no idea what to watch. If you wanted distracting viewing, what would be on your playlist? Mostly clean and not super violent, but entertaining movies or TV series. Ideas?
I was in labor 24 hours, and the first 12 were no estoy more uncomfortable than painful. It was night so I tried to sleep. Shows that I would have watched would have been not deep ones. Like, shows like Face off or HGTV shows where you can zone in and out.
@Happyhiker have you already seen (or i guess you could watch again) some of my favorite Netflix binges have been: How I met your mother? House? Sherlock? Friends? Parenthood? Greys ((Call the Midwife/-but that one could be ugly cry worthy too))
@Happyhiker Sirens is a great comedy!! Santa Clarita Diet I started and it's good, but maybe not totally "clean". (And there's quite a bit of language...) Any of the Food Network or HGTV shows are good background noise. Can yell at House Hunters couples.
Alex married to M since 6.13.09 T - 3.3.14 A - 2.24.17
Great suggestions, thanks! I have been wanting to watch call the midwife too, but maybe not during labor. I've seen some of the shows you're suggesting, but haven't binged any of them. Food network and hgtv are my go-to background shows, so those are great suggestions. I'll try some of the others if/when I want more focused distraction. :-)
I've never went into labor on my own, I was induced with both of my pregnancies so I'm new to this. I just came from my non stress test and I was having contractions about 4 minutes apart. They told me they might see me back tonight. But when exactly would I know I'm in labor? When the contractions get more painful? Closer together? 4 mins seems awfully close already. Idk. Help!
@mcdonald-bailey I've had some spurts with BH contractions that close together since like 30wks. Still pregnant ;] hah. Usually when I'm tired/have had a cold/haven't drank enough/etc. and they go away with hydrating and rest.
The non-stress test will show BH contractions on their machine just like real ones... so could be nothing!
Are they uncomfortable and that's why your concerned? If it's just the time/spacing I wouldn't worry!
@kjd291 I can feel them but they aren't too painful yet. I'm just worried about not being aware of when I need to go in and my baby just coming out. The lady doing the test told me she was there until 6pm and might see me back today.
@kjd291 I can feel them but they aren't too painful yet. I'm just worried about not being aware of when I need to go in and my baby just coming out. The lady doing the test told me she was there until 6pm and might see me back today.
As long as they aren't crampy/painful I wouldn't worry! They'll certainly get painful before baby makes an arrival. Try to hydrate and kick your feet up if you can to see if they go away.
I've never went into labor on my own, I was induced with both of my pregnancies so I'm new to this. I just came from my non stress test and I was having contractions about 4 minutes apart. They told me they might see me back tonight. But when exactly would I know I'm in labor? When the contractions get more painful? Closer together? 4 mins seems awfully close already. Idk. Help!
I was having contractions during my nst last Tuesday but did not feel them. Could you feel them? Did they check to see if you were dilated? I could feel the contractions I had on Sunday but they weren't painful just slightly uncomfortable but they came in regular intervals of 5 min for several hours. That's when I went to the hospital to get checked. They sent me home as I wasn't dilated and contractions slowed down but on the way home I started feeling stronger contractions that were painful. I think that's the point you would go in is when they are starting to get painful. I'm sure everyone is different though so call your ob to make sure!
Re: **ALL THINGS LABOR!**
congrats mama!! What a crazy ride! Hope you both have a fast recovery and can head home soon!
Sorta random/sorta labor related/read with a grain of salt if you are leaning towards getting your cervix checked-but I found this article really great!
CERVICAL EXAMS: WHO NEEDS THEM?
Internal cervical exams….a rant. Okay, so I know I’m about to get a whole slew of doctors upset at me – but you know what? I’m big…I can take it.
Lets start at the beginning…not the beginning of the pregnancy, but the beginning of the debate over internal exams which starts at around 36-38 weeks of pregnancy. Usually I will have a client of mine ask me sometime between 36 and 38 weeks if we’re going to check her cervix to see what it’s doing.
My response is always – WHY?
That’s a bigger question than you
probably think. I’m not just asking why she wants to check as in, “what do you want to find outâ€â€¦.but I’m also asking why she wants to check as in, “why do you feel the need to know?â€
What do you want to find out? How far dilated you are? You’re 38 weeks…what does it matter? Oooohhhh… you hoping that someone (me) could tell you how much longer you will be pregnant? I BET YOU ARE!! That is the million dollar question, and one that I wish I could find out the answer to – because I would be one rich midwife if I could!! If I had been the Divine creator and designed our bodies, I would have put that belly button to use and make it glow bright green 24 hours before labor was going to begin! When will labor begin…yes, that’s an excellent question. How very unfortunate for all concerned that that is impossible to answer. I have seen women be not dilated or effaced at all and slip into labor and have their baby hours later. I have also seen women be 7cm dilated and not in labor!! That’s more of an extreme (in 15 years I’ve only seen 3 women do that), but it does go to show that where your cervix is TODAY has absolutely no bearing on what it’s going to do tomorrow.
Okay, so it won’t tell you when you will go into labor…but surely it will tell you how your labor will go! The further dilated you are now surely means that you will have a faster and easier birth? Again, how I wish that were the case…but, again, it sadly is not. Checking your cervix now does not tell us what it is going to do, it only tells us what it has done! You might get to 4cm with absolutely no extra pressure and feeling no vita mutari (if you don’t know what that means, please see my blog post titled “vita mutariâ€) – and then you might feel enormous vita mutari in order to birth your baby, and it might take many many hours!
Now lets address the reason you WON’T tell me when I ask you why you want an internal exam – but the reason that is almost always universally there….the need for reassurance that your body “worksâ€. If you are dilated, then it’s proof positive that your body knows what to do and is functional. As you probably have gathered by now, that’s just not the case.
So checking your cervix does not tell us: when you will go into labor, how fast your labor will be, or how easy or challenging your labor will be.
Ah, but checking your cervix prenatally DOES do SOMETHING!! It ruins the end of your pregnancy.
If you are not dilated yet, then that means you will begin doubting your body, feeling broken, doubting that this baby will “ever be bornâ€. Please be reassured, the longest human pregnancy ever recorded was not “foreverâ€. These moms who find out that they aren’t dilated leave my office discouraged, often looking beaten down and sad. What a terrible thing to feel when you are right on the cusp of having your baby! (Sometimes you’re only hours away from labor!) Your body has known how to conceive this baby, it has (without our assistance) been able to grow from a teeny tiny egg mixed with an even teenier sperm into an entire person!! A full grown baby with toes and hair and the cutest butt cheeks you’ll ever see!! It’s done this miraculous thing…and now, based on a stupid cervical check, you will lose a huge amount of faith in its ability to finish the job it started so perfectly? SHAME ON YOU! Your body is amazing, incredible, creating life! It deserves our utmost adoration…now is not the time to start doubting it! What has it done to deserve your skepticism of its perfection? Nothing…absolutely nothing!
If she is dilating…then celebration and feelings of accomplishment and she will then often run home and tell everyone that the baby is going to come at any moment! She quickly puts all of her affairs in order making sure everything is ready for the baby…and then she waits….
…..
…..
And she waits…
And I see her at the office a week later…and she’s smiling….sort of. Why isn’t the baby here? And another week goes by (that’s a long time to hold your breath) and she’s still pregnant. It is only her estimated due date (which is a whole other blog post rant for me to tackle) and yet she FEELS 2 weeks late because she thought the baby was going to come 2 weeks ago when we did an internal exam on her. This is the mom that usually wants to start talking about inducing at home because her cervix is “favorable†and because she feels 2 weeks late.
Me 28 DH 28 Married 2012
TTC #1 since March 2015
Metformin + Femara + Gonal F + Trigger = BFP 6/24/16
EDD 3/3/17
Found out it's a girl! 9/23/16
Seeing all all these babies born at 34 weeks makes me so panicky! I'm 33+ and soooooo not ready!!!
married to M since 6.13.09
T - 3.3.14
A - 2.24.17
This lady is a special snowflake. She already drives me nutty with how my DD is "HER baby", and her birth was clearly all about her without the birthday sharing thing. she acts like the world obviously revolves around her and it makes me cringe...
I know if baby decides to come that day there will be nothing I can do about it--but for this little girls sake I hope her birthday doesn't have to be all about her grandmother for the rest of her life. ((And selfishly I don't want my delivery day to be made any more about her than she'll already make it out to be))
but you just watch. With my luck it will be. Ugh.
i hope i have a wicked short labor just so i never have to hear about it again lol
My midwife said as a STM it's more about how you're feeling than the spacing of contractions. if I'm on the phone with her-she will listen to the timing info, but goes more on how you sound during a contractions--if they are still spaced out but you are really uncomfortable and having trouble talking through them--then it's time to go in.
I'm really hoping it'll be just be obvious when you no longer want to relax at home - and would feel more comfortable surrounded by medical professionals. But I guess time will tell!!
Me: 26 Hubs: 28
Married: 6/6/15
Baby Girl: 3/22/2017
To be honest, I don't watch that much TV normally. I have no idea what to watch. If you wanted distracting viewing, what would be on your playlist? Mostly clean and not super violent, but entertaining movies or TV series. Ideas?
Me: 26 Hubs: 28
Married: 6/6/15
Baby Girl: 3/22/2017
married to M since 6.13.09
T - 3.3.14
A - 2.24.17
The non-stress test will show BH contractions on their machine just like real ones... so could be nothing!
Are they uncomfortable and that's why your concerned? If it's just the time/spacing I wouldn't worry!
I could feel the contractions I had on Sunday but they weren't painful just slightly uncomfortable but they came in regular intervals of 5 min for several hours. That's when I went to the hospital to get checked. They sent me home as I wasn't dilated and contractions slowed down but on the way home I started feeling stronger contractions that were painful. I think that's the point you would go in is when they are starting to get painful. I'm sure everyone is different though so call your ob to make sure!