December 2016 Moms

UPDATED AGAIN: PensiveCrayon's Birth Story/Update on BabyCrayon

PensiveCrayonPensiveCrayon member
edited January 2017 in December 2016 Moms
Obvious TW for some scary birth trauma that is, unfortunately, far from resolved right now.


This is Ambrose. He was born at around 11 p.m. last night. He's enormous! 9 lbs, 4 ounces, and just look at all that hair. I might be biased, but I think he's the cutest infant on earth 

Apologies if this is stream-of-consciousness. I'm still trying to process everything.

On Sunday I was experiencing cramping off and on, and I figured labor was very near. Sure enough, after about an hour of being in bed that evening, I woke up with irregular contractions. (I still don't know what that was about...it's seriously not fair to start labor with contractions 3-5 minutes apart! Also, the groaning cake I picked as an early labor thing to do required three bowls and was ridiculously complicated to have to stop and breathe through so often. Just a word of warning -- read your recipe in advance!)

After about 12 hours of active labor, I was able to get my unmedicated crunchy-munchy water birth that I wanted. (Who ever knew I would be a screamer...I feel like I should bake cookies for my neighbors after the three hours of pushing they surely endured). As soon as he was out though, things took a turn for the worst. There was meconium in his amniotic fluid, which we knew and were monitoring, and he was doing great up until I started pushing, when his heart rate started to decelerate.

When he was out, he had an awfully hard time breathing, so the midwife gave him oxygen and pumped his stomach and lungs of what she could. It still wasn't doing the trick, so we called 911 and the paramedics took Ambrose, Jarrod going with and me staying behind to get stitched up and recover as best I could before heading off to be with him.

He pinked up really nicely after the paramedics were able to pump more fluid out of him, but the bad news is that he's just not doing as well as we'd hoped, and was airlifted this morning to a children's hospital in Utah to be put on an ECMO (respiratory transfer) machine to help his lungs heal up. The next two hours, as of me typing this, are critical to see how he responds. Jarrod is with him, and I'll be flying out in a few hours here. The official diagnosis is "persistent pulmonary hypertension," which is a result of him not being able to take those first gasps of air after he was born. (There were also a few other really weird birth happenings -- his very short cord was possibly causing the distress, and he had shoulder dystocia which caused him to get stuck halfway out.)

A few thoughts on all this: you make plans, God laughs. I'm now a NICU mom and I have no idea what that means. This is absolutely nothing that we expected or planned for. I didn't get my skin to skin, my breast crawl, my golden hour, my celebratory beer...I didn't even get to bond with my child before the cord connecting us was cut and he was gone. I didn't even have my glasses on, so the only image I got of him was of a fuzzy cutie pie with bluish skin and lots of hair. In some ways, I can't believe I even have a child. Which feels horrible to say.

I also feel like I'm a walking home birth horror story for others to judge, like, "Look, she wanted her beautiful water birth but at what cost to the child?" But I'm not bitter about it at all. This is a very, very rare situation, and my midwife was prepared enough to keep him stable in the event that it did happen. My mom herself has been practicing for the past 10 years and has never had a situation like this.

Anyway, if you're the praying type, keep Ambrose in your prayers. The situation right now is very serious, but we're hoping for the best outcome for him. Even if we didn't get the perfect start I'd planned, I want to take my buddy home ASAP.

Me: 31 | DH: 31
Together since 2003 | Married 2010
TTC #1 January 2016
BFP April 18 2016 | EDD December 29, 2016
Welcome baby A! January 9, 2017

TTC#2 March 2018
BFP March 30, 2018 | EDD December 12, 2018
DiFazetteMlight28[Deleted User]penelope4612karmbasheshaeMamax2Pgh_Kelsourlemonsarah0985kellybean1988canavara MaryNogjennbaylor12BigBadWolf12Kenya715Steelerfan78RatsPJKacie209SaraRose83
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Re: UPDATED AGAIN: PensiveCrayon's Birth Story/Update on BabyCrayon

  • So many prayers for sweet Ambrose ❤
    [Deleted User]PensiveCrayon
  • Oh mama. You are such a strong and amazing woman. I'm keeping you and sweet Ambrose in my thoughts and prayers 
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    [Deleted User]PensiveCrayon
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  • My thoughts are with you and Ambrose. I'm sorry he had such a rough start, and I hope he turns that corner and improves very soon. 
    [Deleted User]PensiveCrayon
  • Thank you for sharing. T&P's coming your way. Xoxo
    ****Siggy TW****
    natural pregnancy: 2008 
    Me: 28 (Hypothyroid), DH: 35
    Together since: 2010
    Married: 2013
    TTC: 2013
    Infertility: severe MFI, low AMH (0.5)
    Met RE: January 2016
    ER: 3/14 (4 follies, 6 eggs retrieved, 2 fertilized)
    fresh 3dt of 2 embryos= BFP (1 implanted)
    EDD w/ baby boy= 12/6/16
    [Deleted User]PensiveCrayon
  • Thinking of you and Ambrose. He's such a cutie and I hope you are able to take him home soon. 
    [Deleted User]PensiveCrayon
  • ** February lurker**

    Prayers for you and Ambrose! You are a strong lady, and he is in the best place to get the care he needs!
    Rainbow baby Dean is due 2/17/17!
    [Deleted User]PensiveCrayonsrscott3
  • So many hugs and positive vibes are being sent your way. 
    [Deleted User]PensiveCrayon
  • Thoughts and prayers for you and your family momma. It sounds like everyone has done the right thing and has worked well as a team to bring your beautiful boy into the world.  <3

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    [Deleted User]PensiveCrayon
  • dmontgodmontgo member
    edited January 2017
    I am sorry to hear Ambrose is in the NICU and that you didn't get the birth you were hoping for. I felt the same when Ashton wasn't home---it was almost as if he didn't exist, yet painful at the same time. I think this is normal considering our experiences. 

    I will keep you and your family in my thoughts.
    [Deleted User]DiFazettePensiveCrayonyellingbanana
  • I'm so sorry! Thoughts your family's way!! 
    Me: 38, DH: 36 
    Married Jan 2008 
    DD Baby Bells born Dec 2016 5 lbs, 12 oz, 18" <3 so in love <3
    Due with #2 Baby Arya EDD February 2020


    PensiveCrayon
  • All the prayers for you and that handsome son of yours Mama Crayon! We love you and are waiting for good news!


    Me:27   H:30
    Till death do us part: 7.2.2011
    Trying to conceive since 01.2014
    Low AFC and azoospermia
    IVF #1 03.2016 - BFP 03.28.2016
    Due: 12.05.2016

    Lilypie Maternity tickers
    PensiveCrayon
  • I'm sorry things were so scary and that Ambrose is in the NICU. Praying for all of you. ❤
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    PensiveCrayon
  • All the prayers and good vibes headed your way. I'm so sorry things got so scary so quickly! 
    PensiveCrayon
  • God bless little Ambrose, I'm thinking of you and your family!
    PensiveCrayon
  • So sorry you're going through all this! You're in our thoughts.  <3
    PensiveCrayon
  • Oh man, I am so sorry that this is happening.  Please don't feel guilty over having a home birth, something like this can (and does) happen anywhere.  I hope you can reach Ambrose soon and that you and your DH can find strength in each other.  Keep us posted - we're all thinking of you and can offer support.
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker

    Me: 34 DH: 36
    Married 10/15/11
    M/C October 2014
    BFP #2 4/3/16  EDD 12/8/16  DS 11/19/16


    PensiveCrayon
  • So many prayers coming your way. I'm so sorry baby Ambrose is critical right now, I hope she stabilizes soon. Also agree with the others, birth is unpredictable and you didn't do anything wrong nor would it have likely changed anything if you birthed in the hospital vs at home.  Be strong mama, you've got so many people here to lean on through this!
    PensiveCrayon
  • Ambrose is a beautiful baby! I can relate; my son was having a seizure immediately out of the birth canal, so I didn't get any skin to skin, my husband had to cut the cord immediately, and our little boy was taken away to the NICU before I could even really say "hi." All of our NICU time felt very...unnatural, and it was almost as if he wasn't really *here* until we brought him home. If that makes any sense...

    I will be thinking of you guys during this critical time! Hugs! <3
    Type 1 Diabetic (high risk)

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    PensiveCrayonyellingbanana
  • Thinking of you guys!
    EQD born 12/15!

    PensiveCrayon
  • Lurking

    I hope your LO makes a quick recovery. My thoughts are with you and your family.
    _______________________________________________
    TTC#1 July 2015 
    • BFP: 9/16/15 — MC: 11/8/15 Blighted Ovum
    • BFP: 3/10/16 — Baby Girl born 11/20/16
    TTC#2 April 2019 
    • BFP: 9/12/19 — EDD 5/15/20

    PensiveCrayonsarah0985DiFazettecjt121413
  • I am so sorry @PensiveCrayon that Ambrose is going through this.  I hope that his NICU stay will be very brief, and I will be keeping him and your family in my thoughts and prayers during this difficult time.
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker

    DH: 36⎹ Me: 36
    Married: Aug. 2005
    DS1: Born Oct. 2012
    DS2: Born Jun. 2014
    PensiveCrayon
  • Pensive, you are such a strong woman. I'm sorry that Ambrose is dealing with some health concerns, but you guys will be in my prayers. 
    PensiveCrayon
  • Thinking of you and your family right now, I hope that Ambrose shows signs of improvement soon!!

    Me: 39 DH: 36
    Married: Sept 2018
    DS: December 2016
    #2 EDD Feb 2020

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    PensiveCrayon
  • Praying for Ambrose. Stay strong mama, you've got a lot of people praying for you guys. Sending creepy Internet hugs your way. 
    Married 4/12/13
    Anniversary
    TTC since 6/13
    Diagnosed w/ PCOS 4/9/15 - R/E recommended lifestyle change
    BFP 4/10/16 - DS born 12/16/2016
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    SURPRISE! BFP 3/8/18
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    PensiveCrayon
  • Sending so much love your way - thoughts & prayers are with you guys. Stay strong little Ambrose, all your fans at TB are rooting for you  <3
  • Hugs and big time prayers! 
    DD1 5/23/14, DD2 12/5/16   Baby #3 on the way!


  • Praying for Ambrose and you. 
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  • aevan011aevan011 member
    edited January 2017
    Keeping you & your family in my prayers. I hope things turn around quickly for Ambrose & that you can get him home as soon as you safely, possibly can.  
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